Suze Report post Posted March 25, 2006 ...............ha ha Annie, now it,s common knowledge badders has pants of fire, he,s been forever using that old chat up line,............"Hi ladies, any volounteers for putting out these burning flames of desire down my firey crackers"......... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baddad Report post Posted March 26, 2006 without a doubt, the trump-o-matic has startled a few maidens during the 'last chance dance off smooocheroo' down at the Tropicana, and that hefty attachment at the groinial region has disappointed even more... thankfully, by the time the penny's dropped, it's usually been too late The answer to that age old question............................................. Me! L&P BADBADdad Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
littlenemo Report post Posted March 28, 2006 Completely OT, but I thought you might appreciate: Zemansky's computer died a couple of days ago . She has methodically fixed, retrieved and installed everything just as it was. Without panicking! Just one difference - the two hard drives are now called 'Zem' and 'Nemo' Guess which is the slave drive and which the master? [Once again there's no forelock-tugging avatar ] Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DaisyProudfoot Report post Posted March 29, 2006 Hope it's a good long whip Zem!...........and the hand-cuffs are well oiled Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
annie Report post Posted March 29, 2006 If not, I'm sure Badders will lend you some Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
littlenemo Report post Posted March 29, 2006 But not right now - he's a bit tied up at the moment Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baddad Report post Posted March 29, 2006 Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!!! Free in a trice!! The trump-o-matic came up trumps once again - burnt through those cords in seconds.... Horrible smell of singed rope fibre though.... at least i think it's rope fibre... Ouch! Ooooh! Ahhhh! Agggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! (puff, puff, puff) AGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!! [FX: Rapidly fading running feet/increasing echo/infinite reverb ].......... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
annie Report post Posted March 29, 2006 [FX: Rapidly fading running feet/increasing echo/infinite reverb ].......... Is that the sound of your imagination running away with you again Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
annie Report post Posted April 2, 2006 'Woo hoo', screamed Suze, 'it's the Easter hols' . Cheers erupted from the Batcave. The thought of holidays and being able to eat chocolate without feeling guilty always went down well . The Bat-chums were in the lounge supping on their frothy coffees and eating Cinder's multi coloured Croissants. A deep layer of croissant crumbs had accumulated on the floor, not that anybody had noticed . In the kitchen, JT was baking his speciality gluten-free cake . Cinder's was of course keeping a close eye on him , making sure that he didn't fiddle with his utensils . There's the 'general set' and then there's Cinder's set, which are all engraved with his coat of arms.....a bear holding a dustpan and brush . JT carefully placed his cake in the oven and leaving Cinders to tidy up, went and joined the Angels. "All righty girls", said JT, "what shall we do while we're waiting for the cake?". "I know, I know", replied Legs, "let's play hide 'n' seek, oh go on, you know you want to ". "Yeah", screamed the Angels . JT volunteered to be the seeker. He always said he liked the challenge. The Angels knew better , it was because it gave JT an excuse to rummage through the girl's Uberthong drawers . As JT began counting, the girls scrambled in different directions. Would JT find them all? Will he manage to count to 50 without cheating? To be continued.................. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zemanski Report post Posted April 2, 2006 Cinder's was of course keeping a close eye on him , making sure that he didn't fiddle with his utensils . There's the 'general set' and then there's Cinder's set, which are all engraved with his coat of arms.....a bear holding a dustpan and brush . note from the editor - Cinders has no apostrophe. He had the operation a few years ago and feels much better for it thanks. [That's a lie - he is permanently disfigured and daily pain, but that's a job for the lawyers ] Things that belong to him are Cinders' He's 'slightly 'sen'sitive on the 'subject, having 'started hi's career a's a 'sign-writer. 'Sometime's it ju'st get's too much, which i's why he's now 'sitting 'screaming to hi's'self, 'shattering the u'susal 'silence of hi's grotto. "'Suffering 'Sa's'safra's's!" a's 'someone u'sed to say! You'll have to be gentle with him at the moment, hi's computer ha's 'snuffed it and i's (a's we 'speak) being fixed 'somewhere in the wild's of 'Su's'sex And a's for his coat of arm's, he's had to change it - it u'sed to be an aardvark rampant over cro's'sed feather du'ster's but the moderator's complained about it's 'suitability, and then after Ginger's visit, the 'spatula's and the egg-poaching pan came back covered in baby oil, so Cinders couldn't face u'sing them again He never found out what the 'stuff on the egg-whi'sk and the rolling pin wa's, and he certainly wa'sn't going to a'sk JT nemo Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Suze Report post Posted April 2, 2006 (edited) Coming ready or not .......................... Screamed JT as he raced around the bat cave .........cape flapping in his over excited state.............he soon found his way to the bat cave wardrobe .......where feeling in the darkness his outstretched fingers felt warm soft fur...........his excitement increased as his hands wrapped around the warm fur and he felt it softly throbbing in his hands ...............he began to stroke and caress the soft bundle............was it? ..(his imagination toyed)...Legs,s furry thong ........was it Suze,s furry bra ......was it tatters furry wings ....his excitement and breathing increased............WHEN!!!!..............he let out ...........a ............piercing.........scream...............AAAGGGHHH!!...................JT bolted from the wardrobe...........warm, furry throbbing bundle attached firmly via it,s sharp teeth to the index finger of his right hand..........get it off...get it off ....he screamed.Cinders hearing the kerfuffle came to the rescue.............."Holy Moly Judge Thredd...........what are you doing ...........I thought I told you my uber squirrels were hibernating in the bat wardrobe".................Half an hour later a whimpering JT was sat on the bat sofa with his comfort blanket and bandaged appendage."it,s a bit quiet round here......where is everyone "cinders said..........."oops I forgot..............."cried JT as he raced off again to look. Edited April 2, 2006 by Suze Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Suze Report post Posted April 2, 2006 (edited) oops Edited April 2, 2006 by Suze Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baddad Report post Posted April 2, 2006 The Angels knew better , it was because it gave JT an excuse to rummage through the girl's Uberthong drawers . As JT began counting, the girls scrambled in different directions. Would JT find them all? Will he manage to count to 50 without cheating? To be continued.................. "Rummaging through the uberthong draw" - how VERY dare you .... I AM NOT a dirty old knicker sniffer - as i was explaining to the nice young policeman only last night when the high winds blew the next door neighbours 20 year old daughter's rather scanty panties in my direction while i was out in the garden looking for my bicycle pump... Yes, I know three am is a funny time for 'pumping', but it was one of those 'If i don't do it now I'll just forget again' scenarios - you know them i'm sure... I never was any good at multi-tasking!! (mind you, I can rub with one hand while patting with the other, which comes in handy... Makes my pastry as light as a feather! ) As for that counting up to fifty without cheating... It's more a case of counting up to fifty without losing count.. I've a very poor attention sp........................................ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Suze Report post Posted April 2, 2006 .........flying a litle close to the bone there for a minute my friend...........Badders the scanty knicker........sniffer............think Bid will need to moderate you for that, or Annie..or Kathryn..........in fact think I,ll get all 3 on ya Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Flora Report post Posted April 2, 2006 hehehe, you're back Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
annie Report post Posted April 2, 2006 (edited) Suze, since meeting Badders in real life, I've learnt that he is beyond moderating Edited April 2, 2006 by annie Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baddad Report post Posted April 2, 2006 Wossellers... Nought to casualty in 60 seconds Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bid Report post Posted April 2, 2006 Annie's right...he was Too Much Man for the three of us to moderate!! Bid Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baddad Report post Posted April 2, 2006 are you calling me fat??? Sounds like you're saying i'm fat... Just heavy boned... 'chunky'...'cuddly'... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bid Report post Posted April 2, 2006 ...or, as my dear old dad would say... 'Well set up!!' Bid Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
annie Report post Posted April 2, 2006 You've got us girls all wrong BD. We all thought you were 'all man' . It was a bit disconcerting the way how you kept accidently flashing that six-pack of yours Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bid Report post Posted April 2, 2006 ...but much appreciated!! Bid Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Brook Report post Posted April 2, 2006 You've got us girls all wrong BD. We all thought you were 'all man' . It was a bit disconcerting the way how you kept accidently flashing that six-pack of yours Did he keep opening the carrier bag to flash you the six pack. Better get out of here quick. Brook Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baddad Report post Posted April 2, 2006 I traded in the six pack for a barrel many moons ago (and now my trousers keep falling down cos of the weight of the barrel so there's even more moons in the equation!) Brook: Think 'Arnold Shwazzaneger'.... Think 'Arnold Schwarzeneggar in 'Twins'... Think of the little fat bloke standing next to him...... PS: Does anyone know how to spell Swartsaneggar???? By the way - you know they call Stalone the Italian Stallion, and Van Damme is 'The Muscles from Brussells'... Well I'm looking for a similar sort of nickname. Any suggestions greatly appreciated... Don't know whether I've mentioned, but I was actually born in Sri Lanka, but spent my formative years in Mt.Sarrate.Hope that helps... L&P BD Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Brook Report post Posted April 2, 2006 Erm, 'the English barrel' has a nice ring to it. I couldn't possibly suggest the ones that you are enticing us to, the *&^% from Sri Lanka Was it Danny Devito that was in twins?? oh well, at least I now have a picture in my head of you. Brook Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
annie Report post Posted April 3, 2006 Oh Bads . How about 'The bighead from Britain' Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Suze Report post Posted April 3, 2006 Suze, since meeting Badders in real life, I've learnt that he is beyond moderating Is this true..........one four ....one four...a copy..(sad I know I used to have a C.B. radio )...........have "you lot"...........had a "eye ball".........sorry should say ...."get together"........and not invited the rest of your Krism chums ............Annie .........gonna pm you......I want to know everything ............is Badders really a light weight (in the old holding his ale dept.)..........did you all wear lycra??..............does Badders really wear platforms ???...........is Bid really a boho chick .................come on tell all Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
annie Report post Posted April 3, 2006 'fraid so Suze. The answer to all of your questions, except the Lycra one is YES. Unfortunately, Badders didn't get the message about not having to wear his sparkly Lycra outfit. Must say though, he looked stunning Photographic evidence of the get together was last spotted on the Met Police Most Wanted web page . Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baddad Report post Posted April 3, 2006 Oh Bads . How about 'The bighead from Britain' I really did try hard with my 'speak and spell' atlas to find a place name that rhymed with 'Big head' but I couldn't I did think about 'The biggun from Wigan' but wasn't sure people would make the HEAD connection... Might have come to the wrong conclusions about the size of my nose or something! Suze: Sorry, no alcohol was consumed (just tea and hob nobs)... Boho Bid I feel a new 'Viz' stylee comic strip coming on .................... "Quick - hide you stash, it's BOHO BID" ...Somewehere at a Hawkwind concert in Fulchester...... Platform boots? Hun, I'm not THAT obvious! I go for lifts on the inside these days Brook - best we keep that picture in your head tuned to Danny Devito. If you knew the truth things would never be the same again... L&P BH Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Suze Report post Posted April 3, 2006 .................. .............aaagghhh.............. .........................aagghh .................... .................Suzex.............having massive..........meltdown Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bid Report post Posted April 3, 2006 Oooh!!! Please, Nemo, make me a Boho Bid avatar!! Bid (Suze...I would say more Bill Pullman than Danny Devito!! ) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DaisyProudfoot Report post Posted April 3, 2006 ...............sounds like you all had great fun But Badders did the Angels live up to YOUR expectations? Are we talking Les Dawson or Lilly Savage? ........... If you saw me in RL you'd be disappointed cos my wings aren't as impressive as Tatters' (note apostrophe in correct place Nemo) ......... and definitely not furry ......where'd that come from? How the h*ll you supposed to fly with furry wings hhhmmmmm? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zemanski Report post Posted April 3, 2006 How the h*ll you supposed to fly with furry wings hhhmmmmm? Just ask any bat or other flying mammal. Bid - I'll see what I can do... as soon as I get my dirty mac back (dust in the disk drive, honest ) BD - at least you got on the Most Wanted List... nemo Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
annie Report post Posted April 3, 2006 Bid - I'll see what I can do... as soon as I get my dirty mac back (dust in the disk drive, honest ) Phew, that's a relief I was just beginning to think that you'd joined forces with Badders there BD - at least you got on the Most Wanted List... Will you explain it to him please. He keeps bragging about it Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bid Report post Posted April 3, 2006 Nemo!! Boho Bid Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
annie Report post Posted April 3, 2006 Ooooo Bid, I can't wait to see your new avatar Nemo is the avatar master Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baddad Report post Posted April 3, 2006 Just make sure you send the cheque to ME... Don't want squirrel boy learning about MONEY do we - could lead to all sorts of problems... at the moment he's quite happy to be paid in chocolate coated peanuts and i want it to stay that way Boho bid avatar - Betty Rubble meets 'Monsoon'... Cool in the Kaftan (love and peace, man) & (L & P) BD Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DaisyProudfoot Report post Posted April 4, 2006 Just ask any bat or other flying mammal. nemo ......yes, but they have FURRY BODIES not wings. The wings are made of skin ....bats, squirrels etc. There would be too much drag if the wings were furry they wouldn't be able to maintain height. That's why the membranes are so thin on the wings. Dumbo I guess would be the exception to this rule as his wings were actually ears .... but they're still not furry so my theory still holds up doesn't it? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zemanski Report post Posted April 4, 2006 (edited) You're right, of course. Being mammals, there will be hairs on their wings, but only itsy-bitsy wee ones, like on the inside of your arm. But furry? No - it'd be too much of a drag. My apologies for being overly pedantic (and to Suze for going apoplectic over her apostrophes) - not a happy bunny these days, but I'll try to take it out on the dandelions in the garden in future, rather than the good folk of krism (or whatever we call ourselves these days). Of course, while doing the gardening I could always bury my head and give everyone some peace and quiet for a bit nemo Edited April 4, 2006 by Zemanski Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
smiley Report post Posted April 4, 2006 In bounces Smiley..... All sneaky-like.... .................. .............aaagghhh.............. .........................aagghh .................... .................Suzex.............having massive..........meltdown 'Suze' whispers smiley.... 'I have seen the evidence...... .... with my very own little eyeballs... There is indeed Lycra (and far too much of it... ), I have a little friend who was willing to sell the photographic evidence to the highest bidder.... I persuaded her against it - not one should be put through that trauma.... It's just not right - (honestly, you'd think Yoda would understand these things.....) " Bill Pullman - realllly - Wasn't he the one in Sleepless in Seattle?? The nerdy fiance?? Wasn't he in While you were Sleeping?? The brother of the guy who got hit by a train?? Caspar the friendly ghost?? Yes?? No?? (Oh, i'm bit confused.... ... Prozac is taking it's sweet-time kicking in, that's my excuse... )...... Hmmmmm, quite like Bill Pullman ...... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
