The Batcave

[annie]

Diving into the supply cupboard in search of her Refresher fix , Legs found Suze already there .

 

"Suze, I've been looking for you for days, I should have realised you'd be here" .

"As soon as Cinders finished putting the supplies away, I snuck in" , replied Suze .

 

"Frothy coffee and croisants anyone?", called Cinders from the kitchen.

 

A chorus of 'yes please' came from all directions in the Batcave, together with the sound of movement......another day in the Batcave was about to begin .

 

Cinders got a bit carried away with with his new cocktail umbrellas, they were in the frothy coffee cups as well as the croissants . The whole Bat table was a mass of colour . .

 

What will happen today in the Batcave?? ........ Stay tuned to find out

 

(bumping the old Batcave up)

[littlenemo]

The whole Bat table was a mass of colour . .

Helped by Cinders' latest culinary experiment - Rainbow croissants

 

Brush croissants lightly with melted butter, sprinkle with hundreds and thousands and put under the grill for a minute to melt them - psychedelic breakfast

 

With the added bonus that, because of his multicoloured Irlen lenses, Judgey can't see them so there's all the more for us!

 

p.s. I think I chose the wrong week to give up drinking

Edited March 9, 2006 by littlenemo

[baddad]

Helped by Cinders' latest culinary experiment - Rainbow croissants

 

Brush croissants lightly with melted butter, sprinkle with hundreds and thousands and put under the grill for a minute to melt them - psychedelic breakfast

 

With the added bonus that, because of his multicoloured Irlen lenses, Judgey can't see them so there's all the more for us!

 

p.s. I think I chose the wrong week to give up drinking

 

Ah, but with his heightened 'Bat Senses' he can SMELL them from a mile away, and his highly sophisticated internal radar system can pinpoint the point of a pin from a similar distance...

 

So - how come he keeps 'bumping' in to Suze's massive oomalaatas then, and 'tripping over' to land on tatters nekkid little body every time she descends from on high? Methinks that in additon to the 'Bat sense', he might have acquired a bit of fox sense too, the sly old git!

 

L&P

 

JT

 

Oh - and as for that 'psychadelic breakfast' - leave it alone: it's ALAN'S!

[annie]

JT, we had noticed your little 'accidents' . Poor little Tatters, she nearly had to visit A&E the last time you landed on her. It was a lucky co-incidence that you knew how to give mouth-to-mouth resusitation .

[baddad]

JT, we had noticed your little 'accidents' . Poor little Tatters, she nearly had to visit A&E the last time you landed on her. It was a lucky co-incidence that you knew how to give mouth-to-mouth resusitation .

 

 

And an even luckier one that i knew how to spell it!!

[DaisyProudfoot]

"Angels," said Tatters, "Can you come here a moment I want to show you something."

 

Intrigued by the plaintiff cry from the Winged One the Angels put aside their multicoloured snackaroonies and headed in the direction of Tatters.

 

"What's up?" asked Suze

 

"Why are you sitting in the dark?" added Legs

 

"There's something wrong with my arm," weeped Tatters - it's not working properly.

 

"You haven't been at the Pinot again have you," asked Lauren. "You know how it affects you so."

 

"No, I haven't been drinking anything .... well nothing alcolholic anyway ... a cup of frothy coffee ... but it's hurting so much I can't even face a croissant."

 

A look of horror crossed the Angel's faces .......... couldn't face a croissant ...... this was most serious indeed.

 

HC and Kathryn gently guided Tatters into the light while Hev and Mel donned their nurses outfits.........this had absolutely nothing to do with the scene in question.........but seemed like a good idea at the time.

 

The Angels stared at Tatters arm .......... it was bruised and swollen

 

"Have you been swinging from the ceiling? Playing on the trampoline? Something like that?" asked Suze.

 

"No," said Tatters.

 

"Wrestling?" asked Legs

 

"Who with?" asked Tatters.

 

"Hmmmmm, I wonder," said Lauren. "Cinders can you come here a moment please. What do you think is wrong with Tatters arm?"

 

Wiping his floury hands on his equally flowery apron Cinders wandered across. "Broken." he mumbled through a multicoloured croissant.

 

"Judgey," yelled Suze to Testosterone Man. "Can you take Tatters to A & E, we think you've broken her arm for real this time..............I dunno dyspraxic superheroes eh."

[DaisyProudfoot]

While the others were off at A & E Hailey stepped forward and uttered:

 

"I cannot beat about the bush any longer............. I am not really Kathryn's super secretary I am infact "Super Oz" ....known to my friends as SOZ

 

"I have come all the way to your drizzly little island to bring home one of you Batchums ........ she's hiding out over here in GB when really she's wanted by the police for frequenting too many food establishments in Melbourne ...................................... she really is infact LEGS ...................... and now you must come home with me because the police need to know..............................

 

....................which was your favourite eat-out possum?"

[littlenemo]

which was your favourite eat-out possum?"

That would be the possum jalfrezi with koala naan and eucalyptus raita

Or have I misunderstood 'eat-out possum'?

[annie]

Australians all let us rejoice, for we are young and fr........dum-de-dum-de-dum.

 

"Legs, what's that song you're singing?", asked Mel while playing her air guitar .

 

"'erm, just some old obscure reggae number from years ago", replied Legs. "It was sung by 'erm Bruce 'erm Marley.......I think" .

 

"Funny, I've heard it before somewhere". mused Mel.

[mel]

I know it, I know it yelled mel... its Advance Australia Fair. i dont just do meatloaf ya know.

 

Australians all let us rejoice

for we are young and free

weve golden soil and wealth for toil

our home is girt by sea.

 

 

somehow it just doesnt sound as good on karaoke as my meatloaf impression. wonder why?

[baddad]

Now this here is the wattle

the emblem of our land

you can stick it in a bottle

or just hold it in your hand

 

now, what are the two golden rules?

 

1 - There are Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

 

rules...

 

2 - Noooooooooooooooooooooooo ......

 

Now bring me another Flagon of the Hobart Muddy - this is not a wine for drinking... It's a wine for laying down and avoiding...

[Guest hallyscomet]

Now this here is the wattle

the emblem of our land

you can stick it in a bottle

or just hold it in your hand

 

now, what are the two golden rules?

 

1 - There are Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

 

rules...

 

2 - Noooooooooooooooooooooooo ......

 

Now bring me another Flagon of the Hobart Muddy - this is not a wine for drinking... It's a wine for laying down and avoiding...

 

 

Ahhhh Baddad, but they don't sell Flagons anymore, as the Aborigines were doing just that laying down at getting plonked but oh we have something much better........we now have a better more larger vessel called the cask, and you just have to lie down by the Coolibah tree and allow someone to pour down your gob , then once you are passed out - the "innids" of the cask can be used as a pillow so you can sleep it off ........

 

Plus the flagons make a b....y mess ooohhhh that word ###### here get some bush tucker into you lads.... and ladies.

 

Or something more traditional, how about a nice tall hot chocolate with five marshmallows tossed in, mmmmmmm much much softer and smoother.....

 

Now can someone tell me whats happened to Poetic Justice???????? where are you : huh :

 

HC

Edited March 21, 2006 by hallyscomet

[Guest hallyscomet]

Baddad,

 

What is a flagon of Hobart Muddy ( is this port)

 

Phasmid mentioned Flagon in One word association ( as if it were beer) one confused, flagon over here was a three or four litre bottle of wine.

[baddad]

Baddad,

 

What is a flagon of Hobart Muddy ( is this port)

 

Phasmid mentioned Flagon in One word association ( as if it were beer) one confused, flagon over here was a three or four litre bottle of wine.

 

 

"Hobart Muddy" was the name of one of the undrinkable Australian Wino Society wines mentioned in Monty Python' (which is where the 'wattle pome' and rules 1 & 2 come from too)... without actually researching, the only other one I can remember is 'Cote Du Rod Laver', which was particularly recommended 'for those keen on regurgitation'...

Flagon, as you so rightly pointed out, was the term for the early 'all-glass' predecessor of the 'cask' or 'wine-box' - basically a demi-john without the fermentation spout!

 

Obviously, Aussie wines have come a long way since 1969, and what with the cultural explosion in fusion cooking and export lagers it is now completely acceptable to spend a night getting rat-arsed on cheap red and Swan lager, stuffed up on satay Ostrich wrapped in vine leaves with couscous and fried green tomato chutney playing indoor cricket and fighting with your next door neighbours over who's dunny contains the largest funnel web.........

 

Angie? Is that you?..............................................................

 

G'day mates!

[Guest hallyscomet]

"Hobart Muddy" was the name of one of the undrinkable Australian Wino Society wines mentioned in Monty Python' (which is where the 'wattle pome' and rules 1 & 2 come from too)... without actually researching, the only other one I can remember is 'Cote Du Rod Laver', which was particularly recommended 'for those keen on regurgitation'...

Flagon, as you so rightly pointed out, was the term for the early 'all-glass' predecessor of the 'cask' or 'wine-box' - basically a demi-john without the fermentation spout!

 

Obviously, Aussie wines have come a long way since 1969, and what with the cultural explosion in fusion cooking and export lagers it is now completely acceptable to spend a night getting rat-arsed on cheap red and Swan lager, stuffed up on satay Ostrich wrapped in vine leaves with couscous and fried green tomato chutney playing indoor cricket and fighting with your next door neighbours over who's dunny contains the largest funnel web.........

 

Angie? Is that you?..............................................................

 

G'day mates!

 

No its the Red Back Spider on the Toilet seat, they even wrote a song about it. Will try and find it, it is a bit of a hoot, funnel webs are in the swimming pool, under rocks and in your bedroom some suburbs, the more cooler and damp they are the more likely there are funnel webs, scary looking things. They can bite through a finger nail and a boot - I hope that is a myth.

 

Now me lads, we are having a bit of trouble reciting 'Advance Australia Fair"

 

now Batcavesmen.......

 

Repeat after me.......

 

Australians all let us rejoice,

For we are young and free;

We've golden soil and wealth for toil,

Our home is girt by sea;

Our land abounds in Nature's gifts

Of beauty rich and rare;

In history's page, let every stage

Advance Australia fair!

In joyful strains then let us sing,

"Advance Australia fair!"

 

When gallant Cook from Albion sail'd,

To trace wide oceans o'er,

True British courage bore him on,

Till he landed on our shore.

Then here he raised Old England's flag,

The standard of the brave;

With all her faults we love her still,

"Brittannia rules the wave!"

In joyful strains then let us sing

"Advance Australia fair!"

 

Beneath our radiant southern Cross,

We'll toil with hearts and hands;

To make this Commonwealth of ours

Renowned of all the lands;

For those who've come across the seas

We've boundless plains to share;

With courage let us all combine

To advance Australia fair.

In joyful strains then let us sing

"Advance Australia fair!"

 

While other nations of the globe

Behold us from afar,

We'll rise to high renown and shine

Like our glorious southern star;

From England, Scotia, Erin's Isle,

Who come our lot to share,

Let all combine with heart and hand

To advance Australia fair!

In joyful strains then let us sing

"Advance Australia fair!"

 

Shou'd foreign foe e'er sight our coast,

Or dare a foot to land,

We'll rouse to arms like sires of yore

To guard our native strand;

Brittannia then shall surely know,

Beyond wide ocean's roll,

Her sons in fair Australia's land

Still keep a British soul.

In joyful strains the let us sing

"Advance Australia fair!"

 

way to go, Aussie Aussie Aussie oy oy oy dont you hate that

[DaisyProudfoot]

Are they the real words

 

I like them

 

Very rousing ....... real Britannia Rules the Waves stuff...........ah can just see meself bobbing up and down at Last Night of the Proms........waving me flag.................Makes you feel like a true Brit that does........oh I can see I'm going to have to go home and watch "Time Gentlemen Please" and get my Al Murray fix ..........gets you right there doesn't it?

[baddad]

some suburbs, the more cooler and damp they are the more likely there are funnel webs, scary looking things. They can bite through a finger nail and a boot - I hope that is a myth.

 

Why on EARTH would you be wearing a boot over your hand?? OK, I suppose it COULD happen that you got attacked by a mad funnel web while POLISHING said boot - but it's a bit of a long shot, isn't it, and hardly the stuff of a decent 'urban myth'

 

I had a red back run over the back of my hand once (it was in the letter box!) and there were always loads on the window storm covers... we used to hose them off when they got to double figures! Scariest thing I ever saw, though, was a praying mantis (and that was before i heard about the females mating/dietary habits!) - those things are seriously other worldly! Beautiful in their own way, no doubt, but they way they move is just so... alien! Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!

 

Angie??? (And yes, just like the Helen Reddy song she WAS a little touched!! Lucky escape there )

[Guest hallyscomet]

No its the Red Back Spider on the Toilet seat, they even wrote a song about it. Will try and find it, it is a bit of a hoot, funnel webs are in the swimming pool, under rocks and in your bedroom some suburbs, the more cooler and damp they are the more likely there are funnel webs, scary looking things. They can bite through a finger nail and a boot - I hope that is a myth.

 

Now me lads, we are having a bit of trouble reciting 'Advance Australia Fair"

 

now Batcavesmen.......

 

Repeat after me.......

 

Australians all let us rejoice,

For we are young and free;

We've golden soil and wealth for toil,

Our home is girt by sea;

Our land abounds in Nature's gifts

Of beauty rich and rare;

In history's page, let every stage

Advance Australia fair!

In joyful strains then let us sing,

"Advance Australia fair!"

 

Beneath our radiant southern Cross,

We'll toil with hearts and hands;

To make this Commonwealth of ours

Renowned of all the lands;

For those who've come across the seas

We've boundless plains to share;

With courage let us all combine

To advance Australia fair.

In joyful strains then let us sing

"Advance Australia fair!"

 

 

they usually only sing these two verses as it is too hard for people to remember all 5 : lol :

 

way to go, Aussie Aussie Aussie oy oy oy dont you hate that

 

 

HC

Edited March 22, 2006 by hallyscomet

[Guest hallyscomet]

Here is our famous 'Red Back Spider" song, a bit of a hoot

 

Redback On The Toilet Seat (1972)

Ralph Ernest 'Slim' Newton

 

There was a redback on the toilet seat, when I was there last night

I didn't see him in the dark, but boy I felt his bite.

I jumped high up into the air and when I hit the ground

That crafty redback spider, wasn't nowhere to be found.

 

I rushed into the missus, told her just where I'd been bit

She grabbed the cut-throat razor blade, and I nearly took a fit.

I said, "Just forget what's on your mind and call the doctor, please,

'Cause I've got a feeling that your cure is worse than the disease."

 

Chorus: There was a redback on the toilet seat, when I was there last night

I didn't see him in the dark, but boy I felt his bite.

And now I'm here in hospital, a sad and sorry site

And I curse the redback spider, on the toilet seat last night.

 

I can't lie down, I can't sit up and I don't know what to do

And all the nurses think it's funny, but that's not my point of view.

I tell you it's embarrassing and that to say the least

That I'm too sick to eat a bit, while that spider had a feast.

 

And when I get back home again, I'll tell you what I'll do

I'll make that redback suffer, for the pain I'm going through.

I've had so many needles, that I'm looking like a sieve

And I promise you that spider, hasn't very long to live.

Edited March 22, 2006 by hallyscomet

[annie]

Ouch

 

I'm starting a campaign to get Baddad to bring back the Pillockio stories.

 

Please .......... pretty please Baddad

[baddad]

Ah... Pillockio. What ever happened to our little ginga friend?? I heard he travelled 'Down Under' to work as a missionary among the giant toad population... Had all sorts of adventures and frolics - including a run in with the Wild Goanna Gang of Gooligooligottya in the Northern Provinces, and a hair raising episode in WoggaWogga where he almost made it to the semi-fibnals of 'Bush Tucker Challenge' - As the main course!!

 

Who knows, one day he might put webbed foot to paper and drop us a line... It would be exciting to catch up, wouldn't it?

 

[Brook]

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It's alright it's only me, thought I'd venture in for a look around this batcave............

It would appear everyone has gone to bed, so I'll sneak off and nobody will ever know that

I dared to venture in here for a crafty look.

Think I'll wipe my feet on the way out.

 

Brook

[Guest hallyscomet]

It's alright it's only me, thought I'd venture in for a look around this batcave............

It would appear everyone has gone to bed, so I'll sneak off and nobody will ever know that

I dared to venture in here for a crafty look.

Think I'll wipe my feet on the way out.

 

Brook

 

:groupwave: where do you think you are going Brook, look everyone tis Brook that is here

[annie]

Quick, shut the door so she can't escape

[Brook]

(((((((HELP))))))))

 

I'm being abducted by people wearing lycra and eating hobnobs

 

I'm not an LEA snoop, honest.

 

Please let me out, I've got to do the washing up! on second thoughts I might hang around a bit,

'pass the hobnobs someone'.

 

Brook

[littlenemo]

"This sounds like a job for Vishnunu! You just put your feet up and have a rest." <'>

Cinders guides brook to the nearest Comfy Chair, heads to the kitchen and returns with a bottle of Pinot and a fresh pack of hobnobs. Trailing behind him is the multi-armed marvel that is Vish.

"Is there anything else you'd like him to do while he's at it?" asked Cinders as he starts programming in the mission details.

Half an hour later the programming is done and Vish is off.

"That shouldn't take him more than half a day, what with his infinite number of arms, so you just put your feet up and the girls will keep you entertained with a few of baddad's more embarrassing moments. [while sneakily, subconsciously, slowly destroying your will to leave ]"

Just before you go, Cinders, I must ask: have you always had those tufty squirrel ears?

"What!?! " and Cinders races off to the bathroom, hands to head.

"Oh dear," says Suze. "I'm afraid he's a bit sensitive about that. All the hibernating he's been doing. Every time he gets up it's the same. He's been having a bad hair year. Amazing, considering how little hair he has. We tried offering him some hair gel, but he just looked like he'd been shampooing in chip fat! And after sleeping with it on he looked like that guy from The Prodigy for a week (at last - a use for that avatar!). So best not to mention it again, he's a bit sensitive."

[baddad]

HEY KEITH!!!!!!!!!!

WAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

 

 

(see, got in a prodigy AND a Damned reference! How freakin' cool am I!!! actually, strike that, 'cos nobody's given a fig about the damned since 1978 and the prodigy since 1998... How cool WAS I??????)

 

PS: Prodigy- Ben used to sing along to them in the car: "I'm a farter starter. Terrrrrrrwisted farter starter". No matter how often i told him he could never get his lips round 'firestarter'

[littlenemo]

'cos nobody's given a fig about the damned since 1978

 

Untrue! I know several ex-babygoths who lived on the Damned and the Cure well into the 80's. And had a dedicated (albeit increasingly bizarre) following. You just never saw them because they only came out after dark and dressed entirely in black . Lots of Snakebites and ###### Marys.

 

nemo

[baddad]

RRRRRRRRRRRReach out and touch faith!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[DaisyProudfoot]

HEY KEITH!!!!!!!!!!

WAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

(see, got in a prodigy AND a Damned reference! How freakin' cool am I!!! actually, strike that, 'cos nobody's given a fig about the damned since 1978 and the prodigy since 1998... How cool WAS I??????)

 

In the immortal words of Abe Simpson "I used to be with it .... but then they changed what IT was and now everything just seems strange and scarey!"

[baddad]

Just for daisy....

'Keith' is the lead singer of the prodigy, and 'Hey Keith- Waaagggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhh' is the opening lyric to the Damned's cover version of (iggy and the stooges?) 'Feel alright'...

 

even more obscure (and this is from memory, so I may be thinking of the wrong album!): Scratched into the lead outs are 'The music's in the plastic' and 'another porkie primecut'...

made to be played lousd at low volume's in there somewhere too, but i'm gonna stop now before i bore your **** off!

 

L&P

BD

[Brook]

Think I need to go to evening class before I venture back in here, I am going to do a course on the

'batcave lingo', it's only a three yr course, but by the time I've finished it I'll know what the hell youre all

talking about.

 

Brook

[littlenemo]

Scratched into the lead outs are 'The music's in the plastic' and 'another porkie primecut'...

Porky was the guy at the EMI pressing plant who cut the masters of all the Stiff singles (Slogan: If it's not Stiff it's not worth a ****" ), as well as many others I suspect. He always wrote "another Porkie prime cut" on the lead outs - it was the sign of a good single. He was an urban legend.

Geekboy saying good night

 

Don't pay for that course, brook. The lingo here changes monthly (if not hourly ). The only way is to jump in and throw baddad some straight lines . That usually does the trick

 

By the way, if Baddad's 2000 now, does that make him the Methusela of Mirth?

 

G'night all - I need my beauty sleep!

Edited March 23, 2006 by littlenemo

[Flora]

but by the time I've finished it I'll know what the hell youre all

talking about.

 

Brook

 

Is that actually possible??? I thought it was just made up as you went along Reminds me of the conversations going on between the patients when I worked on a ward for geriatrics

 

As the title says 'incoherent ramblings'... and as far as I can tell... the more incoherent they are the better they are

Edited March 24, 2006 by Lauren

[mel]

Untrue! I know several ex-babygoths who lived on the Damned and the Cure well into the 80's. And had a dedicated (albeit increasingly bizarre) following. You just never saw them because they only came out after dark and dressed entirely in black . Lots of Snakebites and ###### Marys.

 

nemo

 

 

Ahem... i was was one of those (babygoth, not ###### mary)

[DaisyProudfoot]

Actually I was a stinky hippy ............ the Best Pub in the World in Newcastle was the Haymarket which played heavy metal music at levels which would be against European regulations nowadays. Also had rooms upstairs for band practice

 

When they knocked it down we held a wake in the rubble ................ my dad described it as the pub from Star Wars......... same wierd folk and same wierd reactions...........and we drank............Snakebite and Black n Tan (that's Newcastle Best Scotch and Guinness.........don't light a match near us! ) ............oh and Newky Brown of course!

[bid]

Whisper it quietly, but The Female Inquisitor was a hippy-dippy girlie back in the hazy days of her youth!

 

Bid

 

But very clean, obviously, and only smelling of patchouli

[Guest hallyscomet]

Whisper it quietly, but The Female Inquisitor was a hippy-dippy girlie back in the hazy days of her youth!

 

Bid

 

But very clean, obviously, and only smelling of patchouli

 

Well I think we should have a party and pull out the mad bad hair days, come on take your places and line up an I will have you all looking like this ..................don't you think it looks good with the blue lycra

 

[annie]

Rising late on Saturday morning, Judgey summoned the Bat-chums into the de-briefing room. He was ready to make an announcement . Cinders and the Angels placed themselves on the multi-coloured bean-bags, which Cinders had hand-made to co-ordinate with his multi-coloured croissants .

 

"'er hmm", coughed JT. "I have some news, I have been on a secret mission" he revealed. "I have reason to believe that the new 'Head of SEN decision making', Mr U. Sless, has given his staff orders to shred all copies of the SEN Code of Practice and Good Practice Guides".

 

Sounds of gasps filled the de-briefing room

 

"I took it upon myself to stalk him" , continued JT. "Last night, Mr Sless attended a bingo night along with a few of his colleagues". "I managed to blag my way in, with the help of Super-Ben, my trusty undercover Mini-me". "Super-Ben and myself took all necessary precautions, Nerbs of Steels, razor sharp boomerang and a new invention of mine....the Trump-O-Matic" "Such a simple device, all that is needed is a lighter and an attachment strapped to my inner thigh . It was invented for the purpose of neutalising smells. At the first inkling of a post-curry bodily function , I simply rub my thighs together, gently of course, to prevent chaffing , this operates the lighter, which while igniting whiffy gases, eradicates all smells . Last night however, I discovered that the Trump-O-Matic has another use.............to eradicate stinking lies . Let me explain....

 

We were lucky enough to sit on the same table as Mr Sless and his colleagues at the bingo hall. The down side was that Super-Ben had eaten a curry before going out on our mission . Just as the bingo caller had called 'legs eleven', the Trump-O-Matic took on a life of it's own. I just couldn't control it . Poor Super-Ben, I kept blaming him, thinking his curry had began to take effect, but oh no , super-sleuth Ben whispered to me that he had heard Mr Sless telling his colleagues that the Government are banning the issueing of Statements . All of a sudden the Trump-O-Matic let out an almighty flame which turned Mr Sless into a small pile of ash . Me and Super-Ben then made a quick exit with me covering the rather large hole in my trousers with my jacket .

 

The de-briefing room erupted in cheers ,

 

"Oh Judgey you're our hero" , cried the Angels......and Cinders .

 

"So there you have it Batchums, another devious official out of the way", said a jubilant JT........................"Right then chaps, who's up for a curry tonight????"

 

 

PS - I would like to point out that Trump-O-Matic is covered by copyright. Anybody using the Trump-O-Matic name or logo will owe Badders AKA Judge Thredd an enormous amount of money.

[annie]

Rising late on Saturday morning, Judgey summoned the Bat-chums into the de-briefing room. He was ready to make an announcement . Cinders and the Angels placed themselves on the multi-coloured bean-bags, which Cinders had hand-made to co-ordinate with his multi-coloured croissants .

 

"'er hmm", coughed JT. "I have some news, I have been on a secret mission" he revealed. "I have reason to believe that the new 'Head of SEN decision making', Mr U. Sless, has given his staff orders to shred all copies of the SEN Code of Practice and Good Practice Guides".

 

Sounds of gasps filled the de-briefing room

 

"I took it upon myself to stalk him" , continued JT. "Last night, Mr Sless attended a bingo night along with a few of his colleagues". "I managed to blag my way in, with the help of Super-Ben, my trusty undercover Mini-me". "Super-Ben and myself took all necessary precautions, Nerbs of Steels, razor sharp boomerang and a new invention of mine....the Trump-O-Matic" "Such a simple device, all that is needed is a lighter and an attachment strapped to my inner thigh . It was invented for the purpose of neutalising smells. At the first inkling of a post-curry bodily function , I simply rub my thighs together, gently of course, to prevent chaffing , this operates the lighter, which while igniting whiffy gases, eradicates all smells . Last night however, I discovered that the Trump-O-Matic has another use.............to eradicate stinking lies . Let me explain....

 

We were lucky enough to sit on the same table as Mr Sless and his colleagues at the bingo hall. The down side was that Super-Ben had eaten a curry before going out on our mission . Just as the bingo caller had called 'legs eleven', the Trump-O-Matic took on a life of it's own. I just couldn't control it . Poor Super-Ben, I kept blaming him, thinking his curry had began to take effect, but oh no , super-sleuth Ben whispered to me that he had heard Mr Sless telling his colleagues that the Government are banning the issueing of Statements . All of a sudden the Trump-O-Matic let out an almighty flame which turned Mr Sless into a small pile of ash . Me and Super-Ben then made a quick exit with me covering the rather large hole in my trousers with my jacket .

 

The de-briefing room erupted in cheers ,

 

"Oh Judgey you're our hero" , cried the Angels......and Cinders .

 

"So there you have it Batchums, another devious official out of the way", said a jubilant JT........................"Right then chaps, who's up for a curry tonight????"

 

 

PS - I would like to point out that Trump-O-Matic is covered by copyright. Anybody using the Trump-O-Matic name or logo will owe Badders AKA Judge Thredd an enormous amount of money.