Kathryn Report post Posted November 4, 2005 (edited) Hi all, I posted a week ago that my daughter was visiting the local FE college. I didn't accompany her but she came back absolutely full of it - the first time she had shown so much enthusiasm for over a year. She really wants to go. She came back talking about doing music and sculpture, graphic design, working with animals.. all her favourite things. Her dad went poised for battle but was impressed with the person who runs this course. She struck up an instant rapport with L and said all the right things in the right ways. We are confident that she is experienced in working wih ASD and also willing to learn from L and us. We also think although it is a mainstream FE college, L will be in a protected environment. There are only about a dozen students on the course which is for people of various disabilities - there are 2 I think with ASD. There are various options tailored to their individual needs: a mixture of life skills, leisure and academic subjects. L is going to go three days a week at first between 10 and 3 and we will see how that goes. She did say she wanted to go every day but we don't want her to get overtired at first. She is talking about making friends, and getting a job in computers - at the beginning of the year when she was cutting herself, head banging, non verbal and extremely aggressive and agitated we could never have thought it possible that she would get to this point. She is smiling a lot, making jokes, and making a real effort to engage with people. Regrets? yes I have a few. Part of me wishes she was going to a specialist ASD college, I had set my heart on one such place - I still think it would be good for her. But it's not what she wants and in making this choice she is displaying independence - the very quality we are trying to instil in her. So it would be hypocritical of us to try to override her now. All we can do is just pray that this works out. There is still time for the specialist option later if it's right. Where does that leave our battle with the LEA? We did put in an appeal when the statement was refused in July and amazingly, that's still live. There is little point in pursuing it now, especially if the college works out, but we are keeping it going as a matter of principle for the time being, just to concentrate their minds and make it clear what we think of their decision. I'd like to pull out just before the case statement deadline just as they did to us in February. The LEA officer who was so horrible to me for most of the year seems to be suffering from a belated attack of guilt - she has agreed transport to the college without a murmur. Big deal. Even a stretch limo would be poor compensation. This outcome is not what I envisaged and I don't know how it will turn out, but I feel optimistic about it. I won't stop fighting and campaigning though - there is still a lot of unfinished business here - I still feel very angry at the way we have been dealt with by the education system. Thankyou, thankyou, thankyou to all of you for all your support over the past months - I would not have survived intact without knowing there were people who understood the nightmare we were going through. The real world has been a lonely place in comparison. I intend to enjoy the weekend, next week will be hard work I expect! K x Edited November 4, 2005 by Kathryn Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
annie Report post Posted November 4, 2005 <'> <'> kathryn <'> <'> It's great to hear that L is feeling so positive. You have all been through so much, I don't blame you for keeping the LEA sweating, they deserve it. Annie XX Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Helen Report post Posted November 4, 2005 Kathryn, your post touched my heart What an achievement for L! Well done all! <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
minerva Report post Posted November 4, 2005 great news, good luck Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mossgrove Report post Posted November 4, 2005 Kathryn You have been having such a horrible time of it for such a long time, I feel quite emotional because something is going your way at long last. My very best wishes to your daughter and her amazing family, I hope it works out for you. Simon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
oracle Report post Posted November 4, 2005 The good news is that your daughter likes this college and is positive about the college and showing a real interest in what she wants to do. I really do hope that things are going to move forward for all of you now Carole Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sallya Report post Posted November 5, 2005 Kathryn, It's good to hear things sound better for you all, I don't know how you've managed to keep going, the LEA have treated you so appallingly. Enjoy your weekend, s xxx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tez Report post Posted November 5, 2005 Kathryn, It's so good to hear that L is beginning to improve and that she has found something that she wants to pursue. I really hope it all works out and that things carry on improving for you all. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
barefoot wend Report post Posted November 5, 2005 Delighted to read your good news - at last! Best wishes to L and you all. Barefoot Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pim Report post Posted November 5, 2005 HI, It's really good to hear that your dd is positive and happy to go to college. It must be such a relief to have something positive happening after your ordeal with the LEA. pim Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bevalee Report post Posted November 5, 2005 I really hope that it all goes well for your daughter and of course you as well! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kathryn Report post Posted November 5, 2005 Thanks everybody. <'> <'> We don't want to get too excited just yet - after all we've had our hopes raised and dashed so much in the last year - but I have a good feeling about this. I'll let you know how things go next week. K x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
smallworld Report post Posted November 6, 2005 Sorry Kathryn, meant to reply when I first saw this...... I really hope this turns out to be a total success for L, I'm sure you'll all do your upmost to make it so, wac Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bid Report post Posted November 6, 2005 You must all be so proud of L! I'll be thinking of you all tomorrow, and will have everything crossed that things go well <'> Bid Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
loulou Report post Posted November 6, 2005 Hi Kathryn, You must be feeling so pleased, but sooo apprehensive too. I know that feeling well. Let's hope things work out for L. It must be so lovely for you to see her smiling again. Loulou xx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kathryn Report post Posted November 7, 2005 Well, she's gone in. I feel and all at once if theat makes sense! Despite my misgivings, she was up and dressed in good time, and we made it. I have to take her and fetch her as the taxi hasn't been organised yet -( this is the LEA we're talking about - heaven forbid they might actually get something right. ) She was remarkably calm - a bit of flapping and rocking when we got there but that was only while we were waiting briefly for the tutor to come out. I gave her the bag with her lunch in and told her what was in it. When she said "blah blah blah fuss fuss" I though that was my cue to go! The house is sooo quiet. I'll let you know later how she got on. K Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
barefoot wend Report post Posted November 7, 2005 I think there are an awful lot of us here keeping everything crossed for you and L. I'd say relax and enjoy the space but I know you're probably a nervous wreck. Best wishes Barefoot Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kathryn Report post Posted November 7, 2005 Well my daughter has got through her first day at college. She more than survived it - she really enoyed it. She was telling me all the way home what she had done. She spent the first part of the morning doing an option on sign language (BSL) which she has always wanted to learn - so she was fully engaged during that and was picking it up really quickly. She did ICT in the afternoon and according to one of the tutors who I spoke to briefly they are a little bit stunned by her expertise in that area. She said that she doesn't feel so weird and freakish because everyone there (ie on the course) "looks strange". She says some people don't even talk - only sign. She is really glad about this as she still goes into non verbal mode sometimes and she feels that the pressure will be off her to speak when she is having difficulties. I think it will be good for her to be with people who have different disabilities as well. She can just be herself and see that she can do some things that other people struggle with - and vice versa. For so long she has been struggling to cope with the impossible pressure of conforming in an NT world - now she doesn't have to do that any more she can just relax and enjoy learning. Even after the first day her confidence has been visibly boosted. She was to go in just 3 days a week - after today she wants to do 4 days! The only fly in the ointment is - guess who? the LEA of course, who have not yet organised the limousine to take her to college and back. Taking her there and back is causing major disruption to my day so I hope they get their act together soon. I hope the rest of the week goes well - thanks for your support everyone - you can uncross everything now. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bid Report post Posted November 7, 2005 Woo ooh! Well done to you all It's because of your care and nurturing for the last year that L. has achieved so much! Bid <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
loulou Report post Posted November 7, 2005 Hi Kathryn, I'm so glad L had a good day. Kai is enjoying his new school too. It's about time our kids had some happiness . As for you, now you can take some time out for yourself (apart from the taxi service you are providing!). I have to do 50 miles a day taking Kai to school, but it still gives me 5 hours to myself a day, which i really needed. Hopefully he'll progress to going by taxi, but he's not ready yet. I'm so pleased for you both, Loulou x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bevalee Report post Posted November 7, 2005 Hi I am so pleased that it went well for you both. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baddad Report post Posted November 7, 2005 Hi Kathryn - Late on this one (so what's new?) but I am sooo pleased for you all... Make sure you keep us posted, and here's hoping it just gets better, and better and BETTER. L&P BD <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
annie Report post Posted November 7, 2005 Kathryn Brilliant news. I feel chuffed to bits for you and L. Annie <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Helen Report post Posted November 7, 2005 Hello Kathryn, Your news has made my day! I hope this is the start of a new beginning for L and for her lovely family My very best wishes to you all (((((hugs))))), Helen xxx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mossgrove Report post Posted November 7, 2005 Simon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest hallyscomet Report post Posted November 7, 2005 Hi Kathryn, This is wonderful news, good luck Hailey Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kathryn Report post Posted November 7, 2005 Thanks once again, one and all. <'> <'> It's because of your care and nurturing for the last year that L. has achieved so much! Kind of you to say so Bid, although we had no choice but to get on with the situation we were faced with, and we could not have done it without the support of all the wonderful people on this forum, you especially. <'> Also my very dear friend J who has been like a third parent: the help and support she has given to L in the past year, has put most of the professionals to shame. Lou lou, I'm glad things are going well for you and Kai still. I hope to be able to say the same in a few weeks time. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
barefoot wend Report post Posted November 8, 2005 HURRAH! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Suze Report post Posted November 8, 2005 Very late to this thread, but just read it from the begining.Like speeding through a roller coaster of a thriller, praying that when I got to your post this week L would have enjoyed college..............and she did.Yipee!...........so so so pleased, I joined a year ago and remember your families struggles, you,ve come out the other side and it gives us all hope that we can suffer the worse, survive and come out smiling.Big Big hugs to you all, I shall hope and pray that things continue on this happy path.Suzex, Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nellie Report post Posted November 8, 2005 Kathryn, <'> It's scary but exciting, I hope it all goes well. My best to you and yours. Nellie <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest hallyscomet Report post Posted November 9, 2005 Hi Kathryn, Reading this story has given me some hope for my son, and a new determination not to give up when the going gets tough!! Thank you Hailey <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
asereht Report post Posted November 9, 2005 Very Very late to this thread! Well done Kathyrn I am so pleased for you and your daughter. Also lou lou glad kai is doing well it's so good to hear good news on the forum. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kathryn Report post Posted November 9, 2005 Thankyou again everybody! L's second day today (she had a day off yesterday) went well too - she did music which she enjoyed and she got to try out a few new instruments. I'm exhausted with all the nervous tension and the effort of getting her there and back but very pleased at the way it's going so far. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
