It P***s me of

[Paula]

 

Im fed up with her.And a little upset.The old bag.

 

My son is of school today another bloomeing inset extra day.Just to drive me barking mad with the ps2 !!!!!!!

 

Then to top it all id to go the the gps for a blood test.Im haveing to have a test to look for the markers of ovarian cancer.Im very worried will be untill i get the results.Ive also been haveing horrendous migranes never had them before.The visual disturbances are awfull when it starts and i cant see properly.

 

My ###### mother lives 5 minutes car drive away.She doesnt work and is at home most days.But would she come over to sit with my son or god forbid take me to the gps.Would she hell as like.So ive had to trapes on the bus As son in tow.Thankgod for him coz the stress of it all set of the said migrane and eyesight problems.

 

I mentioned to her last week that id been to the gps and was feeling down and stressed and was on sleeping pills.I dont know why i bothered.Shes more interested in her bloomeing dog and the fact its had to go to the vets for a tooth out.Stuff her own daughter i guess.

 

laugh is the gp asked if i was getting any support from my family !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! what a joke they dont want to bloomeing know far too busy counting there cash in the bank and watching share prices go up.I kid you not.

 

I ###### hate my mother.I Just think maybe just maybe things would could have been easier if shed shown the least bit of concern over the years.

 

Sorry to moan but im bloomeing sick of her.

 

If you have a mother or father or mother in law who is willing to help and overs it freely be very very gratefull.

 

I once had to drag a newborn baby to the gps whilst i had a postnatel because my mother wouldnt look after her grandaughter for me for a while.

Edited April 4, 2006 by Paula

[DaisyProudfoot]

<'> <'> <'> <'> Paula

 

Hope the blood test result comes back OK, this must be a very worrrying time for you

 

Have you told your mother about the cancer concerns - it may buck her ideas up a bit and make her realise just how important her daughter really is.

 

Sorry to hear you're going through all this

[Paula]

Shes knows Daisy my mum about the cancer concerns.Thats whats so upsetting.

 

 

I was treated for cervical cancer 10 years ago and have been haveing regular call backs for the past 10 years ive had enough pap tests to last a livetime but was given the all clear on that in January.Thankgod.

 

Ive had a ovarian cysts for years.No ###### ever checked it out.Over the past 12 months ive been getting stabbing paines,and am constantly on the loo peaing plus my stomach blows up to such a size i cant fasten my jeans at times.I thought nothing of it.

 

Then i read an article on the silent killer /ovarian cancer and though oh sh*t.I approached my gp and said im worried so she agreed that due to my history id better have a test.I hope nothing shows up it probably wont but id no symptoms with the cervical cancer just the odd spotting.

 

My son is of to the Hosapital on thursday this week to talk to the consulatant over further operations on his nose for the choanal atresia.More stress.

 

Then me dozey mother will say what stress have you got !!!!!!!!!!!!! Yer could ###### scream at times.

 

Its of me chest though now.Thanks for listening to me moan on.My husband will be getting an ear bashing at tea time as i complaine about me lot.Poor sod.

[kinky j]

oh paula, <'> <'> <'> i hope evetything turns out ok for you.

 

your mother sounds like a b**ch and you're far better off without her! you sound like such a strong person and have obviously coped brilliantly without her support.

 

my mum has her ups and downs but i've always known she's there if i need her and i love her very much for that! being a parent myself now i can see that that's how we should be. i'll always be there for c and that won't ever change, no matter how old he gets! people who don't feel like that should be ashamed to call themselves parents!

 

your mum doesn't deserve to have a daughter as couragous, independant and totally fab as you!!

 

don't let her drag you down, you're so much better than that!

 

<'> <'> <'> <'> <'>

 

kinky jxx

[tmf]

Hi Paula,

 

sorry to hear what you are going thru. I do hope the test results come back soon and are ok??

 

You certainly need lots of these <'> <'> <'> !!

 

I thought my mum was bad....thought they broke the mould when they made her...lol! If i don't i would only cry

 

Sounds like your mum and mine are the same, she doesn't understand me or my son. Basically because it is an illness/syndrome of the brain and you can't see anything physicaly wrong with you she doesn't think there is a problem. She has never excepted ds dx of AS...says he looks normal!!! Question is what the bleedin hell does she expect him to look like! She just thinks of my depression as an excuse to be lazy and do sweet fa little does she know! I have now realised i can't rely on my side of the family for things like this, they would rather sweep it under the carpet than deal with it.

 

As for the in-laws to be on the other hand......i know i probably shouldn't say it and those of you close to your own mothers/daughters will proabably look on me with disgust, as much as i hate to say, or rather shouldn't say it, i have more respect and time for my mother-in-law to be than i do my own mother. And i know the feeling is mutual, she has even said i am the daughter she never had! Take all my recent depression for example, she come and stayed with me when my other half was away (she lives 2hrs away when mine only lives 5mins away) because she didn't want me to be on my own with how i was feeling. When i went on the tablets she phoned to say how pleased she was i had finally taken the plunge to seek help, my own mother just said what do you want to take them for....

 

Paula, i really could go on and on about the things my mother does or rather doesn't do to support, all i wanted to say was you are not alone in this, just wished lived nearer could support each other!!

 

Anyway take care

xx

[Flora]

Paula <'> <'>

 

Sorry, don't know what to suggest re your mum.

 

Really hope all is well with you. When will you get your blood results?

 

Lauren <'>

[Paula]

TMF

 

My mother walked out on three children from her first marriage all the kids were under 5 years old and she never set eyes on them againe untill they were in there 20s !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! There virtually no contact with them.

 

My husband always says what do you expect when the woman was capable of doing that.

 

My grandma was my rock.She died 3 years ago.My husband has no parents they died years ago.And hes not close to his family.My sister well shes obsessed with money and holidays and more money.

 

I have a realy good elderly neighbour who is kinda a replacement grandma.I talk to her.Thats also one of the reasons im staring voluntary work with the old peoples day centre i need a grandma typ figure i miss that.

 

My other says my son should have been aborted or why dont i shove him in a home.She has no time for the fact i get depressed like youres she thinks its an excuse to moan.

 

I will hopefully get the results in 2 weeks.Three tops.

 

I said to my husband what if something shows up what then he insists nothing will but what if it does.I suppose you face it you have to least itll will have been caught early.

 

I thought if its positive and ive to have them taken out i might say any chance of a hystorectomy too put an end to the monthly nightmare.Tow ops for the prce of one type of thing.Youve to look on the brightside.

[tmf]

When you put it like that paula then no i am not suprised! I have never understood why a parent can just up and leave their own flesh and blood.

 

My nan was fab as well, she has been dead 10 yrs this yr and i still miss her like mad, probably why i am very close to mother-in-law to be, she is nearly the age my nan was when she died. In fact probably the only reason i watch corrie....vera duckworth reminds me of her in someways

 

My mum has never suggested abortion (not that i would as am dead against it) she jut thinks he is occasionally 'naughty' and deal with it....

 

I really could go on and on about what my mum has done, the list is as long as my arm, if not longer! I have since learnt not to dwell on it, she is who she is and no matter what i say she aint gonna change. I have just learnt that my children and fiance come first no matter what and thats all i care about. In fact a lot of my probs at mo run much deeper than i realised, all dating back to childhood, it was only until i had a long talk with m-i-l and fiance that i realised i had feelings there that i never knew existed In a way it helped my mum being awful to me, as it made all these feelings come out and why i am the person i am today and it has helped me build on this.

 

Anyway trailing of the point now.....feel free to pm if you ever want a chat of-line, am here if you need it.

 

Crossing fingers for you with regards to your blood tests

xx

[jb1964]

TMF

My mother walked out on three children from her first marriage all the kids were under 5 years old and she never set eyes on them againe untill they were in there 20s !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! There virtually no contact with them.

 

Hi Paula,

 

I think that statement says it all. She obviously is the one missing out on love and life. There is no hurt like the kind your mum has done to you and your family.

 

Take care,

Jb

[LKS]

Paula <'> <'> You can choose your friends but you can't choose your family. How true is that saying. Hope her and her dog are very happy together everything crossed for your results

[asereht]

Paula <'> <'>

[lisann]

<'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'>

 

Paula god love you deserve a BIG hug.Sorry to here things aren't going well.You sound like a very loving caring mum something yours sounds like wasn't and isn't.Keep your chin up things will come good in the end, try not to worry about the test results I know this is easier said than done but we are all here for you.Keep yourself busy which isn't hard for us mums with no support but try to have a little time for yourself even if it is just a bath it's YOUR TIME and boy do we need it.

 

 

lots of love

Lisa

[Flora]

Paula, she's the one that's missing out. You are a caring mother and have all your family round you to prove that. I can't understand why you would want her to look after your son after she said such an awful thing. You are a strong woman, with lots of humour, and you care deeply about your family and you don't need someone in your life who would say such cruel things and act so uncaring.

 

I have a friend who's mum left when she was 9. I was at her house after the birth of her first child and the mother came to the door with some presents but my friend refused to answer the door. I was a bit shocked until she told me what her mother had been like (not my story to tell). The mother sat on the step for about half and hour then left, leaving the presents on the step. My friend took the presents to the charity shop without even opening them.

 

Paula, just forget about her. You don't want to keep setting yourself up for hurt and grief. Maybe one day she'll come to her senses but until then you should remove yourself from the line of fire.

 

<'>

 

Lauren

[justamom]

Thats awful hon, you dont need her you are copin alright on your own... I know it would have been nice to have her offer help to you but you are better off witout her help. If she could not look after you as a kid she certainly could not look after her grandchildren, not worthy to anyhow...

 

I am so sorry that you are having to have the ovarian cancer screening again Paula, i am holding thumbs that all is ok... <'>

 

justamom

[Suze]

Gosh Paula what a tough time your having, <'> <'> ,the biggest hugs my friend and I pray your results come back clear, take care Suzex

[Kathryn]

Paula,

 

<'>

 

It's a heck of a worrying time for you. I hope the tests show that you're in the clear.

 

K x

[rainbow queen]

<'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> PAULA xxx

[annie]

<'> Paula <'>

 

I'm keeping everything crossed that you get the all clear.

 

Annie

<'>

[lil_me]

<'> Everything crossed for you

 

My mothers the same, apart from replace the dog with the gym, hence why her and my Dad are getting divorced. Last time I asked if she could have the boys for a few hours she said no as she was going to the gym and had to be at work the next day, then came over to drop a present my Nana has bought my kids with my neice and nephew in the car as she'd been to pick them up to stay the night

 

Then there is my DPs mother, oh well no love loss there, she works abroad and even when she gets leave can't be bothered to see the kids, we made the effort to take them last time and she said 'Why did you come over I'm going out' and left to meet her friends in the pub without even saying hello to the kids. Ignorant I won't swear. Her own mother is very ill with cancer and she still took a job abroad, leaving me and her sister to do everything. She plays the goldenchild when she comes home and buys her expensive things we can't annoys me even more

 

But the way I see it, when they are old and lonely or need help, they'll soon regret being ignorant, and it'll be tough luck!

[Guest hallyscomet]

Hi Paula, <'> <'> <'>

 

Sorry to hear you are having a really rough time at the moment. Life's like that sometimes.

 

The stress and worry about these tests is enough to cause those migraines. Be gentle with yourself, don't expect too much of yourself.

 

Have you enquired about Respite help..... just a thought.

 

The stresses we live with we really need some time for ourselves, any nice school kids that want to earn some pocket money possibly look after your child for a couple of hours.

 

<'> <'> <'>

 

Hailey

Edited April 5, 2006 by hallyscomet

[mel]

<'> <'> <'> keeping everything crossed for you. your mum doesnt deserve you or your son.

all the best <'>

[Paula]

<'> <'> Thankyou.

 

Went to see the consultant yesterday with my son.Hes to undergo an operation.Even then theres no guarantee itll work and the nasel pasage might close over againe.This is what its done in the past.

 

Apparently the only way to guarantee it stays open is to under go nasel dialation after the op at least once every couple of months.Im not prepared to put my son under that much paine and stress and destress to maintaine the airway.The paine ect would be worse than breathing only through his mouth.

 

Maybe when hes old enough to make the decsicion for himself or understands more but i cant see him in so much paine.The ops are painfull you see.

 

But im hopefull that maybe this time itll work due to his increased age and larger bone structure.

 

 

The consultant says hell only be in hospital one day unless theres complications like seveare bleeding.Hes not had that before so i dont think he will this time.So thats one less worry least hell be home for bed.

 

Whod be a mum hey.

Edited April 7, 2006 by Paula

[niki]

sorry to join in so late but paula i so know how you feel cept for my mother its her latest boyfrien and her sex life which was far more important then her kids, she let her 16 year old son sleep on the streets as to having him live with her would upset her then toyboy. I have no contact with her and i have peace in the knowledge that i AM a far more superior and loving parent then she ever was.

[elaine1]

<'> youre not alone my mom is very self absorbed. My dad died, theyre divorced and she said I hate it when things come along and upset my life, I like a quiet life. Well if she carries on like that she will get a very quiet life indeed.

 

some ppl !!! as they say u can choose your freinds but......

 

I also get migraines and know what theyre like, even without kids to look after they floor you. Hope youre feeling better, if u want a moan u can add me to yr pm list.