pepper

aha - 2 threads - ill duplicate here too paula not overly sure how your education authority works, but - basically, as a pupil escort, the taxi/ bus is booked for you through local authority - and you collect children and act in locus parentus etc. The education authority have a contract with bus driver/ hire company. I can assure you that you have power to have him removed ( and if its with a company - they have to find a new driver or lose the yearly contract) If the man is working solo, you just inform your education dept. and contract is immediatly cancelled and you should get a replacement. oh yeah, the reason hes wanting to check your paperwork - doesnt effect him. The bus company/ taxi firm puts a yearly quote in ( its on a bid system) cheapest wins basically. Hes already got money agreed ( unless hes tempory cover of course) so hes probably sorting out time so it matches any escorts claim to education. Most get paid by the half hour. Phone education authority. check where u stand but i work for Wirral and what i say goes you dont get sacked, he does LOL xx pep

not overly sure how your education authority works, but - basically, as a pupil escort, the taxi/ bus is booked for you through local authority - and you collect children and act in locus parentus etc. The education authority have a contract with bus driver/ hire company. I can assure you that you have power to have him removed ( and if its with a company - they have to find a new driver or lose the yearly contract) If the man is working solo, you just inform your education dept. and contract is immediatly cancelled and you should get a replacement. oh yeah, the reason hes wanting to check your paperwork - doesnt effect him. The bus company/ taxi firm puts a yearly quote in ( its on a bid system) cheapest wins basically. Hes already got money agreed ( unless hes tempory cover of course) so hes probably sorting out time so it matches any escorts claim to education. Most get paid by the half hour. Phone education authority. check where u stand but i work for Wirral and what i say goes you dont get sacked, he does LOL xx pep

bless i did giggle! in an empathic way - been there done it/ read the book with my son. But i just thought then.....my doorbell here at home goes constantly, 2 local boys, a 6 and 8 yr old ( who are alledgedly NT ) and they harass me constantly asking if my kids are playing out - and i sidestep nicely as doorbell goes constant however much I patiently explain / its teatime/ its raining/ its cold/ its dark/ you just seen children leaving? !!! I've slowly dawned that maybe these boys may have some SEN as they both seem unable to grasp my subtle retorts so thinking about it - theres an awful lot to be said for letting neigbours know about an individual childs needs cos there are times i bite tongue with neigbours boys and passing a leaflet over in explination is actually a great move

awwwwwwww but HOW RUDE!!!!!! the expression ' walk a mile in our shoes' springs to mind. It really REALLY aggrieves me how some ppl dont understand the merest thing. Im sure my sons teachers think similarly guaging from half the comments i've recieved in the past - but they arnt the ones lurching though his memory recall/ short attention span/ and pedantic ways! good luck and do go 'whip some ass!'

hmmmmm it sort of depends on childs accademic abilty - ive found......though from what ive gleaned - there are loopholes on some subjects, you probably will have to push them tho u can get child out of a fair few subjects with the right info - tho im cluelss but have read about 'extenuating circumstances - due to sen...' etc xx pep

ahhhhh i recall this well - luckily I've a son so i invested in hair clippers and a quart of vodka ( the vodkas for me!) Basically i weep and wail and he howls and shreaks and we finally get a 'number 2 all over' every few months when my mum pulls me - calling aforemnetioned son ' coconut head' LOL i did the hairdresser path - and i never went back since he was about 6 ( hes 13 now! ) He tells me that after my last vicious clippering that school mates called him 'chav' cos i billiard balled his bonce

wanders in to say *whilst pulling hair out* Sons specialist at the child developement unit ( and no i still dont have a clue what they really do there.......?) reitered 'VERY MILD Aspergers' I know he wasnt dxed till 11 - but hes always been 'different' I just chalked it down to him being very academic and people always banged on about him being 'a little proffesor' *Clang clang* I didnt pick up the obvious ) As far as support for him, I'd have to say no. He has an iep thats only any use for toilet paper, and is only of use after an event when I can mention he HAS AN IEP but basically a quarter of his teachers make auto adjustments to make his life easy - the ones he doesnt have personality clashes with..... another quarter - he gets through with no help just because he likes the lesson, a further quarter he struggles and gets pulled daily for not working in class or lack of homework . The remainder quarter appear to loath my child with passion and make those lessons a living hell, saddling him with constant detentions and singling him out ( and no - im not teh sort of parent that ever presumes my child is a sweety of a kid) He is coping fine in school enviroment at moment but thats probably because its options year and hes focussing on dumping the subjects with the 5 vile teachers.......... I do understand that his nature can appear abrasive, sometimes maybe rude, but that isnt a product of upbringing, its part of his syndrome * beats head on wall* We have checked who is teaching him in various subjects next year so he may adjust better into next academic year and without those 5 wonderful teachers who make so much time for him i think his school life could be a different story. His science / IT and Math teachers have no problems with him, I dont know if this is because he adores those subjects or wether they adapt their teaching to help him? I know the physics teacher certainly does ( infact she defended and protected him from the biology teacher who was being petty and after 'a little chat' all seems well) I think if you are very vigilant - most schools will keep a closer eye and offer more help - Im still trying to get it through to sons school that asking if he is alright daily wont help as he always answers that everything is good! LOL Im lucky that school mentor seems to have decided to take child under her wing and he likes her - last week son froze during SATS paper and wrote nothing in 45 mins, she managed to avert a meltdown by calming him and taking him to her office. If she hadnt have done i'm sure ih have had a totally hyserical child by eveningtime. But if the school dont give enough support - they wont get the best from the child. I often have this horrible thought in the back of my mind that if my son wasnt top of year in a few subjects, wether they would show as much interest in geeing him up when his grades dip ( then I feel a right mean biatch for thinking that.........but you do dont you? ) I AWAYS write monologues Maybe I should post 'little and often !!' and try staying on topic too... xx pep

EBD is emotional behavoural disorders I dont know very much tho a few members are really clued up here. All I recall is the general concensus is that EBD schools are not particularly suitable for children with As, something to do with bad behviour due to stress/anxiety (as in a child with Aspergers) needs different handling to that due to EBD and that there are a couple of schools that manage well but in the main its thought an unsuatable enviroment and doesnt meet the needs of a child with aspergers. sorry to sound like doom and gloom! xx pep

CLASSSSSSSSSSSSSSIC z pmsl - i sometimes just love the precise straightforward stuff our kids come out with , son cant ever see the point of waffling EVER so he does very much the same ( cant wait to see what story essays like as 'if it isnt true' he wont write it thank gawd other subjects were science and math eh

awwwwwwwwwww - as long as sons ok about exams and tests ill back him 100% im just a bit fed up now and then that because hes a bright boy they lump expectations on him with zero tolerance on leeway I just get cross that no extra help ever seems offered and though hes doing good this year - year 7 was a 'mare and i never ever want him to suffer like that ( and ive puberty to face ) I even got it pointed out to me that he isnt the only boy with aspergers in school and his reactions are 'unusual...' well NO they arnt!! they are how As affects him and thats teh way it is, hes unique in his own right and thankyou for tea and sympathy now sons glued to online role play games and has no homework hes as happy as a pig in clover............. swift change of analagy there! xx pep

Bit of a drama here....... Sons year 9, did all the chat and explinations and he sat the math and science papers like a dream ( bar him insisting he didnt need extra time - which annoyed me but i didnt like to push the issue ) Seemed fine this morning and major MAJOR problems with english shakespear paper - couldnt grasp question so sat for whole test without writing a thing! How can no-one have noticed? i cant believe it. Apparently he was too worried to put his hand up as they had had it drummed into them not to disturb unless it was an emergency. By the time he came out of exam room he slipped into hysterics, thank heavens the school mentors been keeping an eye on him and took him aside, he was in such a terrible state im seething, but least she phoned me, which im relieved about But what on earth happens? hes level 7 to 8 in all three subjects and isnt he going to have the most bizzare SATS results ever? Theres only two papers and the other english paper in a complete trauma for him because its free writing GRrrrrrrrr - the shakespere he can normally do with ease so I have no idea why hes paniced on reading oh - im just venting really, i know SATS marks are for the school and dont effect him but hes so dissapointed and I dont know how to gloss over it to him. Its always 2 steps forward , one step back eh *fixes forces smile and grinds teeth * lol xx pep

hiya curri, sorry to hear that your lads having difficulties at school. Its heart rending isnt it.Is your lad in his first year at senior school? I only ask because my son is year 9 now and year 7 was horrid time for him, adjusting and finding his feet and its only now- 2 years in- he's settled and making freinds ( by freinds - id not say best pals or anything! but more socially accepted for his own skills and own quirky personality) A couple of years ago he sounded very like your lad, and hes very happy now, so i hope my ramblings can give u a little hope for the future. Not all lads are sport mad, there are all different type of social groups - its just a case of finding your lads interests and steering towards like minded boys - mines into computers so his overfocussing on object of interest ( roleplay games....) he fits in well cos all the other n/t lads bang on and on and on.....about computers LOL As a few ppl have mentioned, i reaslised my son couldnt work out the extra curricular clubs and after speaking to school senco they reminded him and roped him into chess club where hes having a blast!! definately recommend finding out some stuff. If your boys mad into history-how about seeing if there is a local battle enactment society? they are always on the lookout to enthuse the younger generation - bet he'd love something like that xx pep ps - my 10 yr old daughter is more into the opposite sex than my 13 yr old AS son- he sort of tries to join in - but emotionally hes about 4 years behind ( hopefully i wont be panicing about his love life till hes 16.....)

hiya wendy, lots of great advice there about how to pick a school, i can just answer the quiery about My son was already accepted into Grammar and diagnosed in 1st chaotic year but I think I subconsiously matched him needs to his senior school as best I could. In our case its a very good choice, Its a selective christian brothers school and the general ethos matches sons aspie traits rather well ( even if he is a 'screaming athiest' Joke ) But the school has very good pastoral care and is always commented on in ofstead reports. Son has a strong sence of justice and sees everything as 'black and white' and this melds in fairly well with catholic ethos ( my personal viewpoint) There were 2 other grammar schools he could have entered and was accepted in ( 4 selective schools in our area) But two were absolutely massive and I knew he'd struggle and 3rd was fee paying and burser wasnt offering a decent enough deal on scolarship pmsl - and i thought it was maybe 'too selective' ie insular, LOL Most of the core subjests at grammmar are traditional acedemic ones - concentration on sciences/ tecnology/ IT so suits son too. Children top 30% accademically, then graded into sets for 4 subjects+ so son has better opportunities to work at an education level that suits his abilities, meaning - less chance for him to get bored and unfocussed and mess about in class! His is a small school of around 800 pupils and i feel this is better as the likelihood of him being known by most teachers and pupils is a bonus ( i think!) Quite a few asperger children can be very bright and capable of passing selective exams, especially with verbal/non verbal reasoning tests and I'm actually pleasantly surprised by how many boys in sons school have As. although the senco does comment that all the boys needs are so dissimmilar it can be difficult for teachers to guage individual needs as some read IEP and presume to treat all the same. Its still not without dramas at school but in our case the education suits, for one, son will never be teased for being accademic as whole pupil role is expected to attain to best of ability, and two - in our area, where it isnt automatic that the children sit enterence exams, a high proportion of the boys come from families where parents take a very active role in childs education, and a third of boys come through local private prep schools - dare I say a high proportion of school pupils seem well behaved!! I think it depends on the child as well, my son is mild As. and in general doesnt have too many problems- probably judged as 'quirky' by his peers. His natural immaturity is probably the biggest issue, but again, school have a learning mentor and she is very handy ( a sort of mummy he can pop and visit when hes having worries and she keeps a close eye on my lad since i explained that he doesnt realise when hes on meltdown path, so she checks ) Obviously i can only blather away about own childs situ, but hope it gives u a perspective and ive tried to point out some plus points. Im certainly not saying that its a bed of roses but probably the best of a bad bunch for my family. I always think of own child as a square peg in a round hole in the education system and its more about getting him through as best we can! xx pep ps if son does want to try 11+ paper he is entitled to extra time to complete it in

wow surprised a bit here - im dx with underactive thyroid too I get what u say about ADHD cos my son has it also, but without hyperactivity, twice during primary school teachers pointed out ' that he couldnt possibly have ADHD because wasnt bouncing off walls' Lol hes horrified eno at the snippet of info that ADD is predominant in females and hes rare in a male....... on the thyroid issue, its the most awful feeling b4 diagnosis, I honestly wondered if i was going loopy - once on thyroxine i was told ' all cured' but i do say it isnt the case, its a lot better granted, but i still have times of bone tiredness and sometimes struggle to string a sentance together, but generally you do learn to read ur energy levels and adapt. I did read some american info about how they treat underactive thyroid and there was some reserch to say that depression often tagged along with dx, in america they give a secondary drug to counteract . Sorry to sound vuage.... i know i did reserch stuff a few years ago when i was first diagnosed but as i was also suffering depression LOL sorta lost interest?! as far a s things go for your daughter, its a difficult age isnt it, it could still be a mix of puberty rather than diagnosis of hypothyroidism? Hope shes feeling much better since starting on thyroxine xx pep

ohhh no lil, thats half the bonus, they nap and fit in with household - duodenal? if u all about they liven up and adapt to household. Ive read tons about them being too lively for children - complete hogswash! cos my pair are so tame its embaressing sharp nails mind - son oft goes into school with wee gouges all over cos they have sharp claws ( add a pumice stone im told) and they live 5 - 8 years, though u have to get diet correct ( treat like diabetic guinea pigs and all is ok) mine give my cat down the bank if he dares hassle them, its fab!! they dont squeal - more churrip, make the sweetest noises - sorta warble? OK - nag cat to death!! hes totally terrified of them though u so know he wants to eat them!! Once cat stuck nose in and degu gave him a right gouge?! though my heavy handed son gets kissed by them ( and like all rodents - they have retractable teeth that scares pants of u) anyway, besides the fact that they love wheel which bumps and grinds like a sod, and is really distracting - they are a total pleasure. do need a fair bit of attention cos they are easily bored, but as long as u house them in a lively room they seem to thrive on all the goings on. My lot (kids) swing them about all the time and they dont seem to be phazed. A cracking pet from my experience escapologists tho!! and mine come to heel!!! ( if u shout their names when they nip off and hide behind sofa - they out like a shot) mad wee bints - and very easy to train wish kids were as easy!

oh dear............i dont think they make an avy for me then cos i suppose id have to make it myself! vodka ( thatll relax me) 3 litres avail with 4 gallons of cola.../ peace ( all the kids at camp) and husband posted to australia for 9 month.. / and chinese chippy next door! (free doggy bag) oh - and a chef/ cleaner/ nanny built in um, maybe my dear darling mother off my back also........ oh - and 3 pints of water on bedside, and a decent lie in? isnt much to ask

post deleted - cos im so useless at forum posting erm, ill get it - one day

i got dx'ed with thyroid problem - good job too really cos i think i was slithering towards demented with it before i found out. I used to be one of those ppl who could sleep on a nail a few years back and now i have the weirdest sleep patterns!! All i can suggest is - worrying about not being able to sleep is almost worse that fretting about sleeping, lucking i can adjust sleeping habbits a bit, some nights when im online at 4am feeling like a duracell bunny i remind self that i can grab a few hours later next day and it reasures me. I do think stress adds to poor sleepin though, your body may be exausted but if your brains on overdrive, there isnt much u can do except accept the situation. I personally have sole responibility in week for my 3 kids and i know from experience i cant completely switch off ( as a parent u cant) so ive always got one ear and eye open for children. A tad knackering tho! Im very grateful that my eldest As son sleeps well, but its always there in back on mind that i'm in charge and i think it does affect sleep. xx pep p.s though i notice the few times i pass over responsibilty for children - i sleep like a log!!

actually - if im being honest - my crew drive me completely nuts!! im a firm believer in pointing out that im irrationally peeved and could they all run for cover...........being selfish is a defence! and my kids seem to accept my occasional vents ( least i still have faculties and sanity) - just! - i'm sorta all they have and i accept im not perfect ( i accept im irrational/ stressy/ knackered/ ducking from all the daily hassles ) i sorta think nowadays that it isnt worth beating urself up about 'things we do and things we say' after all - if family is ticking along - its the best any parent can do! xx pep

PMSL @ One day i will do a shirley Valentine......that's what i keep telling my lot anyway! I actually threaten my family with 'me running away' - they just laugh........ so i do a few weekend concerts per year with online mates and let hair down ( ok - i cling to sanity planning next date heheheh)

if ur looking at rats - can i suggest looking at degus? They are chilean mice, closely related to chinchillas - as big as a rat but more of a hamster face - I've a pair of brothers and they are absolutely fantastic! really entertaining and mine are extremely hand tame. They are also very intelligent and fairly longlived which is a bonus if considering for children. I have a site about them ( i mean son made a site on his pets lol) Im not sure how to link - ill try http://www.degu.loife.com

i enjoy my As son mostly, when we chat he's quite fascinating and we have always shared the same dry humour ( or should that be he's copied my humour?! lol) he talks endlessly which can be draining, but I think thats more that he cant guage the times I'm genuinely busy and will talk regardless of what im doing - then im snappy.. I do get what you mean about the feedback- i find that as long as son has no distractions we get a good convo. So I suppose i should learn to approach him when hes not engrossed! I used to get really angry about the tone of his voice when he spoke to me - but that was b4 dx, used to feel like i was talking to a 6 yr old 'teenage kevin' but now ive ponted out his voice inflections when speaking and done some surupticious training on voice emotion tones ( u know what i mean ) he sounds far more animated and less flat when chatting Im a bit worried about when real hormones kick in tho, cos he can come over a bit monosyblic ( yeah i have drummed into him that i cant take a 20 min monologe about his internet game - much as he glazes over at some of my topics of chat! but thats fair eno ) Luckily - ive checked my freinds teenage lads - they all seem a fixated bunch when it comes to their hobbies so at moment my sons not standing out as perculiar in any way!! Aw bless tho tylers mum, i so know where ur coming from though, my 2 NT daughters take some patience too - so i think it can be down to a childs natural quirks and your patience too ( my eldest daughter i dont understand that well - sometimes she seems like an alien to me!) * cough* fathers daughter *wink* xx pep

ah i may be able to chunner on this topic................... sorta got ibs, well got dx with ovarian cyst after 5 yr of being told was IBS - cyst gone but still IBS symtoms and i can certainly blather about thyroid, xcept mines underactive. ( bit like me lately) theres plenty of info online - cold/ hair loss/ sluggish/irritability etc are HUGE warnings ( which get mistaken for lots of things) dare i say - oft matched to depression - which is probably what the local GP will latch onto like a shot! another wee pointer - and it aint good news - is about 30% of of thyroid issues wont show up on blood tests which means doc will latch back onto the depression theory...........especially in view of family issues with kiddies so --------- keep at the doc! i was undiagnosed flaming ages - till i really thought i was dying! infact even after meds was flaming exausted and depressed ( trust me to lower teh convo tone) but its an issue really close to my heart Ggrrrrrrrrrrr what did i notice 1st????? being knackered, ###### irritable, sleeping badly and getting fat.........all signs of depression in docs eyes! xx pep

really - when u hit that point where getting outa bed feels an effort - u gotta do something! promise i avoided anything social ( like speaking LOL) for a year......and i tell ya - im the worlds biggest chatterbox !! and a freind of mine just took anti depressants for a fortnight to keep her ticking along - so, worth a try, as someone said st johns wart is a natural remedy maybe u can go try that for starters ( is it on special? heheh) im penniless...........

I'm sure many ppl can offer and have offered good advice and support system, its just so shocking its came to this btw, my sons father ( whom i feel - now i know is undaignosed AS) mentioned years ago that he thought he was schitophrenic in teen years and dropped out of uni. I mean, I dont know much about ASD but i have read lots of mental illness is missdiagnosed - and unsymathic education system can give rise to mental illness ( huge apologies if im rambling all sorts of useless stuff) just mentioning what i recall xx pep