jb1964

Yes we still use ours regularly - we have some of my eldest daughters videos - Disney etc and they've been dug out now for my littlest one who's 6. We'd taken a load to the car booty a while ago and any leftover the charity shop took. Take care, Jb

I really find comment offensive - my daughter had a real fear of dogs when she was younger - she is better now but still extremely weary. She couldn't help her anxiety over that fear - and it wasn't just dogs it was also flies (which yes I completely am aware these cannot be controlled by a lead) - but nevertheless it was a real real fear for her and yes if a dog came bounding she would run - she would not be aware of her surroundings because of that fear and yes would have run into the road if that was the route to escape - something which I've been led to believe is due partly because of her asd - if she had run into the middle of the road when something like that had happened it would not make her 'stupid' or an 'idiot'. My daughter doesn't come on this site very often but I know if she read this and knew what she would have done had that happened - being called 'stupid' or an 'idiot' for reacting like that would really really upset her. I

Hi, To be honest the only person who can tell you is someone who is in the profession of diagnosing Aspergers. Quite a few threads on the forum that I've read recently mention that gp's/consultants etc fear there is an 'asperger fashion' is going on. I've also read in some articles in the papers also about people who say they have Aspergers but are only self diagnosed - and I think that is also a problem. You mention you now have a referral and I think that's a good starting point and take it from there. Take care, Jb PS - I did note you mention your great grandfather and grandmother had Aspergers? - I didn't realise it was something diagnosed at that time?

Hi Szxmum, Yes your post summed up how I've felt along the way - my daughter was diagnosed with ASD at 12 although other developments have now linked all her difficulties to a gene alteration. She had been under a Paed. since she was 6 mths old (for failure to thrive) - he saw her every 3 - 6mths until she was 11 - he did test after test and kept assuring us that she was really just a stubborn, strong willed little girl who would bow to peer pressure eventually - and that covered all her difficulties including constipation and eating which he said she controlled - which we've now discovered fall into the genetic disorder and I feel angry and let down all over again. Take care, Jb

Hi Julia, My daughter is 16 and just left school (started College but we've started to hit the same problems as when she started nursery/primary/comp) - we've also found it hard also for info on girls - L gets annoyed when she reads stereotypical interests for ASD including trains or maths. Re: the Latin thing - I'd just do a google - probably loads of stuff about - know what you mean though about wanting to try something only because of something they're interested in - my daughter started to drink coffee after reading something to do with 'Waiting for Godot' and loads of other stuff she's tried because of her interests. The teens when everything starts to happen - yes it was and it bypassed my daughter because she wanted her own time - by the time she got to wanting friends and socialising everyone had grouped up and this was the hardest part for us - the sadness and all that goes with it (and it continues she's currently on anti-depressants) - but I honestly don't think there was anything we could have done differently - she just didn't want/need it - at that time the whole strain/anxieties of starting comp. and becoming a teenager was too much. Tony Atwood said that the teens are the worst period for an Aspie and I have to believe him - and I also believe things will get better - they have to. Take care, Jb x

Hi, Just wanted to say - been through a similar thing with our daughter. She was diagnosed at 12yrs following school refusal (after starting comprehensive). We were also told that if she refuses anything then it's difficult to coax her. She missed practically the whole first year of comp (yr 7), during year 8 they started home tuition for a while and then in the end of year 8 and start of year 9 she started flexi-time as an attempt to get her back into school - it took nearly 3 years just to start to feel comfortable with her surroundings, knowing where to go, where everything was - recognising some of the teachers and some of the children and knowing what she was expected to do etc - without the whole thing of just coping with school, homework etc. Her anxieties during this time were massive, the transition into comprehensive adding on top hormones and puberty made her a recluse - it was extremely difficult to get her to leave the house and there would be periods of weeks/months without stepping through the door other than a hospital appointment etc and that was a feat in itself. She didn’t want any sort of socialising – it was as though the whole thing had totally drained her for a very very long time. Bribary, bargaining, punishment or compromise unfortunately never got us anywhere. Finally in Yr 10 she started to settle down in school and suddenly wanted to socialise – this then became the hardest part – the wanting and needing friendships and suddenly feeling very lonely and sad. Since then she has wanted to ‘go out’ – started off with perhaps the library or sitting in the car reading while I pop into the shop etc – although I have to say most of her 'going out' is usually just sitting in the car - occasionally she’ll visit McDonalds and more recently she will go in WH Smith for 5 mins to pick a magazine (but that is about her max. – she starts to feel sick and dizzy from the heat/noise etc of many shops). She will also sit in WeatherSp**ns with my hubbie (providing she has her ipod and magazines, if it’s quiet and there are seats by the door where it’s cooler) while I take the little one round on the food shop. We have also taken her out on several trips that involve her interests, i.e. Theatre, Anime Convention, Cinema etc. Three years ago I thought she would never leave the house – things did get better in that respect but it also can move into a different realisation. Take care, Jb x

Hi, I don't want you to make the same mistake as we did - when my daughter was in primary we always said to her to ignore comments, or try not to show you're upset, to walk away - that people can be unkind but names won't hurt etc. She struggled terribly through secondary school (she finished this year) and it is only recently that she told us the extent of the bullying she endured - people trying to make her fall down the stairs (kicking in the back of her calves), throwing chips and food at her, having chewing gum put on her seat and hair that's without the name calling and comments. I wish she'd told us earlier but she never did. Take care, Jb x

Hi Szxmum, Can't offer any advice but just wanted to say we're at the same point with our 16 yr old. She's actually started College in Sept - but has only been for 6 days over these past few weeks and is struggling. We have no support CAMHS have been totally useless this past year and are now ready to discharge/transfer because of her age - they have suggested social services but I really don't want to go down that route. It is just soul destroying to have to keep fighting when you're knocked back at each hurdle. Take care, Jb x

Good luck Tally with your applications. It's a nightmare job hunting at the moment - I was made redundant at the end of July and apart from 3wks temping there's been nothing - I've applied for absolutely loads and managed to get a few interviews - during some they tell you that they've had 200 applications for that job which is supposed to make you feel good about getting to the six shortlisted but it doesn't and there's no sign of things getting any better. Take care, Jb x

Hi, My daughter was on a milk-free diet (lactose intolerant) when she was a baby so I suppose she didn't take either form - from what I remember lactose was the milk sugar whereas casein was the protein. Lactose interolerance was far more common than Casein interolerance but that's about all I recall. I'm sure there must be loads of info on the net about this kind of thing and would assume someone will come along soon with some good advice for you. We're seeing the gastroenterologist next month as they think my daughter may have gastric motility problems as she's always suffered with reflux, constipation, nausea, sulphur burps and stomach pain/swelling issues. Take care, Jb x

Hi, No - I did want to catch this as I've read it could be explosive with the BNP guy on it - but unfortunately watching Harry Potter with the kids - don't think they'd be happy me switching over now...... Take care, Jb

Hi Julie, My daughters MRI was because of seizures - I don't think that they are generally offered as part of an ASD diagnosis. Take care, Jb x

Hi Julie, I'm not sure how old your daughter is - but assume she's quite young. My daughter had her MRI scan when she was 14 and they offered sedatives if she needed them. They said to take a cd of her favourite music which she did but unfortunately the cd player didn't work during the scan although she was scared my husband stayed in with her (they only allowed one parent in the actual room) - she was petrified but managed to get it done. We too were nervous about having it done and although they normally come back clear if there are problems this is the only way to find it out. For us since the geneticist has been involved we have been referred to people I thought my daughter should have seen years ago but all her problems were treated as psychological symptoms due to her ASD rather than treating them as a medical symptom as they would a NT person. Take care, hope all goes well for you tomorrow. Jb x

Hi Jan, It has taken me a while to re-read through your post as I cannot stop the tears falling. I feel so much for both you and your son. My daughter is 16 on anti-depressants and just started college. She is so so desperate also for company and feels very lonely. She very often tells me when she's very sad how a 'failure' she is - that she can't even commit suicide properly because she is so afraid - she has hurt herself many many times and we too feel helpless. My daughter also is a high achiever and anime art is her passion but I would swap it all in an instant for her to wake up each morning with a smile on her face. How long has your son been on the anti-depressants? we saw the consult. last week who told us that unfortunately, they do have side affects such as impulsive and/or aggressive thoughts. I hope with all my heart that he finds something to lift his day soon. I notice you mention messenger etc - I'm also hoping eventually my daughter will use a chat forum or something - at the moment she will just read and won't actually post. Take care, chin up and thinking of you both, Jb x

Hi Peaches, My daughter has always been the same - she can be really looking forward to something particularly if it's something she absolutely loved but the anxieties and worry beforehand can overtake that exitement and and the night before or even the very last moment she will pull out and get upset. This year she actually went on a school trip to see Blood Brothers in London which I was so glad for her because she had the most fantastic day of her life and I kept saying that she must remember that she overcame her fears. The CPN did some work with her prior to the trip - she arranged to take her out to McDonalds but the week beforehand sat her down and went through every possibility that my daughter thought could happen - good and bad things and wrote it all down on a list. She then went through each item and said what they'd do if that problem happened (and it would be from the simplest things like feeling sick to having the wrong food or even a car accident) - she then put a line through each one they'd gone over - this is something we've used since and definitely helps but doesn't take it all away - but it did help to get her to London for that trip. Take care, Jb

Hi Pippin, I will be sorry to see you go - I don't come on here as much myself so understand - but wanted to say a very very big thank you to your post a while back that shifted me into gear and getting my daughter sorted with the epilepsy thing - we've come a long way since then and just recently had confirmation of a genetic disorder that's responsible for her ASD, her epilepsy and many many more problems she has. I remember your post saying that you didn't want to scare me into action but it worked. Thank you so much again, your input was invaluable and I will always remember that. Take care and I hope everything works out for you. Jb x

Hi, Thinking even more on this - does anyone think society today makes it more difficult for those with Aspergers etc. In particular I've been thinking about how the children that were different in school when I was young lived as opposed to living today, i.e. Hobbies/interests - there was little TV (only childrens hour) and no console games, going along the lines that tv/screens can cause over stimulation/frustration - so lego/puzzles/reading/drawing/collecting things were all quieter. Education - our secondary school was small in our town - about 350 kids whereas my daughter had to travel 6miles out of town to a comprehensive with over 1000 children. Teachers treated children differently - whereas today they treat them like mini-adults - when I was in school they were in charge/control they took no messing. Rules were rules and if you broke them you were punished (lines/detention/cane) - whereas my daughter would get extremely upset with teacher constantly extending homework deadlines because children wouldn't bring it in on time - and she would get distracted by children constantly interrupting class by talking and the teacher not saying anything. Crime/Bullying etc - years ago a PC could clip you round your ear and everyone knew everyone if you were naughty or causing a nusiance it would get back to your parents and your parents would punish you. Today there is very little police can do and as a parent today you'd be wary of knocking on someone's door to tell them that their child had done something wrong or was making your childs life hell. Shopping - no superstores (with big strip-lighting, booming intercoms and hundreds of people/trolleys everywhere) or big shopping trips out - local corner shop or the supermarket in town that delivered on a Fri/Sat - I never went food shopping etc with my parents - and if I went to the corner store for them they would check your list and make sure everything was there. Fashion/peer pressure - school uniform was strict, no make-up - the biggest fashion difference was whether you were lucky enough to have a satchel rather than a carrier bag to take your books in - and if you had the summer checked dress. There was no big designer/trend that singled you out as being different. Whereas my daughter even struggles to look/converse with anyone who has lots of face make-up especially around the eyes (which seems the norm for teenage girls these days). Families/support - lots of close family visiting/staying over when I was young and holidays with my family included grandparents, aunties/uncles, cousins so lots of help. Whereas today families might not live close to each other etc. It really makes me think that the way society is progressing with everything getting bigger, faster, brighter, louder, more materialistic, more politically correct, more everything that it's making it more and more difficult for those with Aspergers etc - and whether this is the reason why perhaps years ago children adapted slightly better. Take care, Jb x

Hi, http://blogs.mirror.co.uk/dear-miriam/2009...l-peo.html#more Part of the article read. Following reading this article last week by Miriam Stoppard (which really infuriated me) it’s started me thinking about what she’d written in a different way. In relation to Aspergers/HFA – do you think routine and other things such as giving specific instructions, reducing anxieties by removing certain things i.e. noise/activities etc could make them less likely to cope. I’m asking this because as my daughter is getting older I think she’s becoming more rigid in her thinking and behaviour – she is finding it harder to cope with change and gets more frustrated at what she cannot do or understand. I know she's 16 and we have the teenage/hormonal things going on as well but I really am concerned about my daughters ASD getting worse as she’s getting older rather than getting better. It mentions that people used to be just classed as eccentric/socially awkward etc and that the individuals taught themselves to adapt. I know there are quite a few ‘older’ aspies (hope that doesn’t offend anyone) on this site and wondered if they had any of the sensory issues/school refusal issues/self-harming/aggression/depression etc that many of the teens/young adults seem to be going through at the moment when they were younger and if yes how did they cope without CAMHS or any support from their GP/School etc. I’m thinking back to when I was in school and yes I can think of quite a few children who struggled to make friends, who were bullied and were ‘different’ in many many ways – and could possibly fall into an ASD category but they coped in their own way – but then again when I was younger kids were just pretty much left to get on with it – the teachers had no tolerance to anything and you were put in the remedial class if you showed any sign of a problem (which I suppose eliminated the stress of exams/homework etc - they were given no expectations) and someone staying in to read or going to the library etc wasn't odd as kids seemed to either be outside players or inside bookworms and it was just accepted. I hope this question doesn’t offend anyone – it is just I've read lots of posts from older adults who say they always thought they were different, social problems etc but wondered what they were like when they were younger. Take care, Jb x

Hi, I remember looking at this (Sonrise) when my daughter was first diagnosed - I think I probably looked at everything from diet, to baths, to therapy and considered it all - reading good and bad but still not sure at the end and I suppose that unsure element stopped me but can understand how people in desperation will try anything. Take care, Jb Also, noted your Avatar Baddad - hadn't noticed it before - only watched that episode either yesterday or the day before with my daughter - she's a big fan of futurama - she'd read that it referenced Captain Kirk and wanted to know whether they only wore little tops/dresses in star trek (without trousers!!).

Hi Sooze, My daughter was born with non-congenital talipes also - just out of interest how are his feet now. My daughter had strapping on for 6 mths when she was born and had to wear boots until she was a couple of years old. Although her feet are now fantastic compared to when she was born she always has (and still does) turned her feet inwards when she's sitting comfortably - i.e. with her legs crossed over and sometimes her feet are used to lean on her face - curled around her cheek. She was 16 in the summer and after a full OT assessment they've said she has hypermobility in all her joints and also has no arches in her feet - they've made some inserts but unfortunately she won't wear them even though it is painful for her to walk. Take care,

Hi, When you say your daughter is 7 do you mean just 7 or nearly 8? and working 18mths behind - only that my NT daughter is 6 and will be 7 in less than 4mths and she struggles with her x tables and spells like you mention - but I didn't realise this was a problem for her age - I've always thought she seemed average for her learning - the school haven't mentioned it either and have been telling me she's doing really well - you have me worried now. Take care, Jb x

Hi, Yes my daughter was pretty much as you say - not good at 'mental' maths, times tables, clock faces, or anything that gave items in relation to a question, ie. Tom has 4 apples, 2 pears, if he buys X etc = and also struggled with understanding how something could be worked out a different way. However, algebra she picked up straight away and found it easy. Take care, Jb

Hi, My eldest (ASD) daughter (16) born nearly 3wks early - induced due to IUGR (stomach circumference) - then ventouse after 3 days labour - 6lbs in weight. My NT (6) daughter born 9 days late naturally 8lb 10oz within 6hrs of being admitted. Take care, Jb

Hi Bluefish, Nothing to really to offer as advice - but just wondered when you say he dropped off to sleep after - do you mean he was in bed to start with/is this only at bedtime or is it during the day as well and also I noticed you say this is the first time he seems frightened/upset - but has he ever seemed confused when he asks this as well? Take care, Jb x.

Hi Teresa, Don't have an idea for £30 - but someone I knew at a wedding recently did a keepsake memory book thing for the bride and groom - which included their invitation, their table card, anything that they'd supplied on the tables i.e. gold/cream almonds, pressed flower from the bouquet, a little notelet completed with best wishes from as many guests as they could get together with a couple of pictures all set onto cards etc in a box. Absolutely lovely idea and so unique - haven't been to a wedding since to have a go myself. Take care, Jb