jen

Some medical staff do not like patients asking for specific items eg melatonin I presume because it takes their power and control away of making the assessment, decision and prescribing the drug. With some drs you are better off approaching them saying your child has sleep problems and is there anything that he can take as this is effecting the quality of your relationship with your child and the whole family. I know we have enough to cope with never mind thinking of the way we present information. (Maybe these people have AS traits and like things precise) Jen

I agree with Tez.If your tribunal is in September and they order the LEA to assess for a statement than this could take another 6 months if not a bit longer, then if you go to tribunal again because you are not happy with the statement or school named in part 3 of the statement than this will take another 3 months so you are looking at July 2007 for challenging the statements and getting the results you are asking for. Jen

you do not need a diagnosis to meet a childs needs. These needs should be assessed by the way the child learns, his behaviours, his strenghts and weaknesses, his difficulties. This school is talking rubbish. Jen

The other alternative you can do is take your son out of school until the end of term. Then the ball in not in the schools court! Keep your chin up. Jen

my friend was in the same situation as you and obtained a special school by going to tribunal. The school have been fantastic and are dedicated to the childs needs. Now her daughter boards there full time and the mother has no regrets. It is the first time in 5 years that her daughter has received a proper education. I would say to the headmistress that you want your son monitored by the school and you welcome their professional opinion as in the past the decisions made by the LEA for help and support have always been measured to fit in with the LEA budget and reduce spending and this has not addressed your sons particular needs. Tell the school you are willing to work and support them to educate your child. Jen

The same thing happened with our sons infant school and the school excluded him 2 days prior to the end of term for having a meltdown. During the meltdown two TA tried to move him so my child kicked out in response. Hence my child was excluded for verbal abuse to children and physical abuse to two teachers. I took them to tribunal knowing all that it would make no difference to my child but it would benefit other children who were in the school or coming into the school. I represented myself and had pleasure in seeing and watching her being in discomfort at the tribunal. This was so stressful she ended up in tears. (Theres a saying what goes around comes!). I won the tribunal and the headmistress and teachers have now changed what they do and how they handle SEN children. I was lucky because I had always wrote letters to the school stating my concerns and how I coudl see my child deteriorating warning signs etc. I also used the home and school diary to write my concerns. All these concerns had been ignored, even the letter I wrote to the govnors stating my concerns. So if she decides to exclude go to tribunal. But it is very frustrating when you have to put up with a school with this attitude. The injury to the child should of been recorded in the accident book you have a right to see this as it envolved your child. Jen

I think if LEA's were made to pay compensation (not that any amount of compensation will replace the difficulty they have caused the children) following tribunal than all SEN children would get a fair assessment and services that suit there needs. I do not agree with people going for compensation but in this case I think it would protect the majority of children instead of at the moment a minority of children are given the right provision. I still think we need a good assessment completed by different professional and this can only be done within a set amount of time. The tribunal service is a good service which just needs to develope with more powers to address the problems the children are having. Parent partnership should not be financed by the same budget and people who are assessing and providing provision to the children. Then we would get a better service from PP Jen

Its teenagers who should be taught to pull there foreskin back fully as before this age there is not enough skin to do this properly. I suppose most boys will be experimenting at this age so the topic of sex and hygiene can both be discussed at once. If the child is unable to pull the skin back at this age or if the skin become tight than circumcisium is needed. A good soak in the bath and encouraging the child to clean the area will help with the procedure. Jen

Thanks Bid, yes I am in the process at looking at the Independent Schools than there will be another fight on my hands to sort out funding. Jen

RQ, The school sound like they are non inclusive and changing their attitude will be a long hard battle. From personal experience I would take your son out now and move him to a SEN friendly school. Telephone some local schools and find out about to see if there are any spaces available for September talk to the senco tell her your worries and concerns. Ask what experience and training they have had with ASD and how they could help your child. Making the move now will be easier on your child. The schools which are non inclusive tend to end up exluding the child instead of dealing with your child difficulties. Remember your child is not happy where he is otherwise he would not be coming home and having meltdowns. What do the ASD team say about your child and to the school. They do not have to have a diagnosis of ASD to see the ASD team just concerns. Jen

we miss sports day also the last day of term due to all the disruption. The school welcome this with open arms. Sometimes part of fitting in is acknowledging what you can not do and taking steps to miss it. Jen

This is a difficult question and my main priority is my sons happiness but he does not seem to be happy in any environment. my child is 9 years old with ASD and a lot of sensory problems, he attends mainstream school helped by an LSA who works with him full time. He is very bright in science and maths but struggles with reading. He constantly struggles to cope in mainstream school and at times I think it is not worth it as he is not happy. But I have also taken him on visits when I was considering putting him in a special schools where they say they can cope with his emotional behaviour and ASD and sensory but they say he would be frustated with the level of work he would have. So my son does not appear to fit in with mainstream or special school. He misses out on any after school activities or holiday playschemes, discos etc. Because he does not attend a special school he misses out on all the extra stuff playschemes etc that the special schools run also he has no friends at school. Jen

Hi Butterfly my son was non verbal until 4 years of age. Then he started to speak a few single words. Now he can speak so well although at times he can still become non verbal for many hours. Jen

pink sapphire take a deep breath and do not take it personally (I know this is very difficult). Now would be a good idea to write to the LEA Data protection officer and ask for a copy of all the documents including emails that the LEA have on your child. This normally reveals useful bits of information. Do you have the up to date reports from the school and Educational Psy if not ask for copies of these as these can also be helpful. When you have got a copy of the letter go for tribunal again. It costs the LEA ?16,000 to go to tribuanl so going twice is bound to upset them and will work in your favour. It would also be a good idea to write to the Ombudsman. I know its a quicker result off him and could sway your case. Jen

you can also look in the telephone book under private doctors. If you do decide to go and pay for these immunisations please make sure you observe the doctor mixing the vaccine and check both the ampoules before allowing the doctor to give your child the vaccine. There is a case of a doctor charging for MMR and only giving the children water so please be careful. Jen

Has any one applied for direct payments? Is it worth having them bythe time you have arranged someone to look after your child and done the paper work. Is the paper work complicated to fill in peoples tax returns etc Jen

my child Ed Psy said he was not prepared to carry our an IQ test in school because the results would not accurately reflect his capability. (He suffers from a lot of sensory problems). He said it would be more in the childs interest to use the scores he had achieved in tests and the teachers views on my sons ability. Jen

parenting normal or special needs kids is a learning experience. Its the only job we are not trained in depth to do. You can refect on the good and bad experiences than move forward. Continually regreting what you have done will only lead to depression. I think ASD children are very funny and they have opened my eyes to a whole different way of living and learning. In reality its is a way adults and children can learn. Give your self a break and look at the good things you have done. Joining this forum is one of the best ways we can help and support our children. Jen

I was so excited about attending the HELP one day course. But I was very disappointed with the information given on the course. There were several pieces of informaiton given to the audience that was incorrect. For example they said all SEN must have an IEP. They also said all ASD children with sensory problems would be seen by an OT for treatment. Within the 3 PCT within and near to our area they have not got funding for OT sensory sessions. They also said if you think your child is being discrimminated than ring SENDIST and you can discuss your childs case and advise you what to do. At no time was any information given on IPSEA or the good work they do. Several members of the audience asked question about there personal circumstances only to be told that ASD children do suffer from what they were discribing. I was so disappointed with the whole day. Jen

Your statement should specify provision accurately and not use wooly terms. See IPSEA web site. As it is the daft statement you can ask for a meeting and quote what you read on IPSEA about provison being specified correctly. Its also a good idea to look over the statement and make sure it covers your child problems. Look at the appendix which are the documents they have used to produce the statement. If you do not have all the documents you can ask your LEA officer for a copy of them. Jen

Who is a clever boy CONGRATUALTIONS[/size]

Hi Oxygirl, Sorry you are feeling so low. It so difficult ASD kids and friends. We always feel they need to make friends but in reality they are happier not having friends with all the demands it brings. Jen

The LEA will formally write to the school for the school to ask for them to give evidence. Also your child will be reassessed by the Educational Psy. Its a good idea to speak to the Ed Psy prior to his visit so he understands your concerns etc. Ask school to inform you when your child is being assessed for her statement Jen

I bet you did not know what to do without him and you worried about him all the time. I am so glad Kai enjoyed himself and is eager to stay for 3 nights next time. His happiness is your main priority. Well done for building up the courage to let him stay. Jen

Is amazing how much you have achieved, so much hard work and staying up late. Trying to fit everything in. This is excellent news and a 1St congratulations. Treat your self to something nice Jen