karmadestiny

It is great to be able to recognise the difference in who we are and who we pretend to be...we wear many different masks throughout our lives and can so easily lose the real us...Like Raydon said "somewhere in the middle is the real you" with the correct balance of both worlds... In order to find him you must embrace and accept both and know that you are worthy of being loved and are a unique human being who deserves to be happy.... ...We all make mistakes in life Ben, some of us more than others but what defines us is how we deal with those issues, that is all...! Our mistakes are our opportunities either to clean the slate and begin again or to find a different route... I'm sorry to hear about your gran Ben, it seems she had a very special place in your heart...my nan passed away around 15 years ago but for me its still feels like yesterday...It doesn't hurt as much now, her memories are stilll so fresh, I can still smell her scent, feel the touch of her hands, hear her voice and see her gestures...When I'm too stressed I often cry and confy in her silently...doing this gives me so much comfort I feel as if she is always watching over me...We were very close, I cared for her up until a couple of years before she passed...It took me years to get over not being there when she really needed me the most...but thats life, death is a reality, there is nothing more to it...As far as losing your girlfriend Ben, people come into our lives for many reasons...only you know what the true reality of your relationship was, and why she may have left...see the relationship for what it was, make it count for something, learn from the experience and use it in a positive way in your next endeavour:)...Maybe you just wern't right for eachother, keep positive...you know the old saying " when on door closes, another one opens"...Pain will ease...

I've heard alot of stories growing up about people who have seen things that couldn't be explained...Intrigued as I was, I was also scared of coming face to face with something frightening that I couldn't deal with...I've always been very sensitive to energies around me, the negative ones especially...my sisters call me the 'human sponge' as I literally soak up the energies... Being depressed for years created this heavy, dense energy field around me and I felt like I was a magnet for similar energies...About 7 years ago, things were really bad for me and my life was in constant dispair...while trying to get to sleep one night, I suddenly felt a surge of this really dark, dense energy building up like a whirlwind just over me...It became stronger and stronger, I felt fully awake yet and still in the lying position on my side...the noise was like a plane overhead, right above me...suddenly the strength of the wind pulled me up in the air and I was clambering on to hold myself down...It was so terrifying and all I could do was to pray for God to help me...It lasted for what must have been a good 5 mins or so but felt like eternity...As suddenly as it began it stopped and there was sudden peace all around me...My heart was beating so fast and so hard...I couldn't make out if this really took place or somehow I did fall asleep and had some sort of out of body experience...Actually my first experience happened a couple of years before this one...were again I was trying to fall of to sleep, my husband was downstairs still watching T.v...(this one still gives me the shivers thinking about it)...I smelled a strong fragrance like someone wearing 3/4 different aftershaves in one...it was very strong and I wondered were it was coming from...This time I know I was awake...I heard someone come in the room, change and lock the door...naturally I would have thought it was my husband but something just didn't feel right as my husband usually came up quite late...and I couldn't understand why he would put so much aftershave on at night...he got into bed beside me and I had my eyes open, the light was switched off so I couldn't see anything...I waited and as usual he placed his arm around my waist...I was trying so hard to keep calm and not let him know I was scared, but I remained calm...I was too scared to turn around and waited to see what would happen...there was no noise of him breathing...for a good while I lay there not knowing what to do...in the end I just prayed ot God to keep me safe and somehow just fell of to sleep...in the morning I asked my husband about what time he came up and why he had the need to wear so much aftershave, he turned around and said tha he had as usual come up pretty late at night and that he hadn't used any after shave that night...When i told him about what I experienced he just laughed at me not believing me...Same thing happened the second night...I could feel this thick heavy energy in my bedroom, i was so scared of going into my bedroom...my husband wasn't very sympthetic and just made fun of me when I was literally freaking out...Its not something you tell people so I kept it to myself for a couple of years...though there were no more sharing of the bed scenes:)p...I could still feel something was there watching me...I know i didn't dream as I adopted my son and I kept his crib in my room near me and when he was around 6/7 months he was so frightened he wouldn't sleep...each night at 1pm he would suddenly shreak out, try as I could he wouldn't settle...he kept looking around the room,crying really badly... I knew he could sense whatever it was in the room...for 6 months my son and I slept downstairs on the floor...during this time he settled down and my back was killing me from sleeping on the floor and i decided to give it another go and see if things have changed...I decided to bless the room and do some reading to purify the energies by lighting incense each evening...and he started to sleep through the night but off and on he would still look around...When he was around 3, he would run from his own room and want to sleep with me... it kinda started up again, he would wake up at 1pm as before screaming and looking around and saying he can see something with long teeth and red eyes...that was the last straw I was dealing with it but I didn't want my son to have to go through this experience and be so scared of his own shadow now... one evening I plucked up courage and stood in the room and I thought whatever this is I need to face it... I told him this was my house and he had no right to put us through the emotional turmoil it was putting us through...It had no permission to be in my room or anywere in my house...I asked it to leave in the name of God... That was the end of it...I couldn't feel the negative energy anymore...In some ways I feel that when we're feeling deeply sad or depressed we omit this energy that attracts like energy and draws it to you...As scary as the experiences were this actually helped me to realise that my negative energy was actually having an affect on my young son...In order to keep him safe and whole I needed to sort my head out and my life...I now only feel gratitude towards that part of my life as it got me to look at my negative thinking process and turn things around for me, so it was a positive experience in the end...Logically speaking yes, our mind can play tricks but there are certain things that are beyond explanation...I hope I haven't scared anyone...we're living in the same house, i'm still sleeping in the same room, so alls well:) Happy Halloween;)p!!!

Hi:), I hope you don't mind me asking you said your son is now being seen to for this problem...who is he seeing is it a specialist clinic for soiling or urinary situations?...So far has he been given any treatment or have you been told of what the optional treatments maybe...?

Hopefully sleeping through it:)!

Soup with lots of garlic and onion...both are inflammatory, kill bacteria and clear your chest and sinuses...plenty of rest if you're lucky to have the time...Allow nature to take it course and work through and out of your body...Stocking up and preparing in advance before the onset of the flu season also helps take the edge off and gives you the time to take it easy...

I can't even comprehend anyone, especially specialists would recommend using bleach to to cure any disease...what is the world coming too!!!...

I love dark chocolate, I love the bitterish taste of it...I find milk chocolate is very artificial tasting, all you can taste is the sugar...with dark chocolate you can actually taste the coco beans...and it really makes you feel good inside, you feel totally satisfied...I find it helps when I'm feeling down or tired out...though like Robert, I would find it difficult to put it down after a couple of squares, unlike milk chocolate:)...

Hi Jeanne, I've recentley started my son on Vitabiotics Feroglobin B12...It comes in liquid form...I read somewere that the B vitamins are good for cognitive function...and its actually helped people with mental health issues...So I'm giving it a go and see if it makes any difference with my sons brain function...If he starts to get A's on his schoolwork soon I'll let you know;)p....but seriously I think they're worth a try...I give him a small handful of nuts and dried fruit too ( when i can remember:) I have noticed that when he took them on a regular basis he became calmer and more relaxed in himself...maintaining it is the problem ( also that your child isn't allegic to nuts)...children can get very bored with one kind of food product and you have to find different ways of encorporating these things into their every day diet...How are you doing by the way, is Glen coming home soon?...x

My son used to line up his toy cars from when he was 2 years old...This was seen as the main trait of ASD in him and recieved his diagnosis based soley on this and his deep interest in cars...There are times he can be rigid in his thinking and yet other times he will allow things to be a little different and won't mind too much...I think it just depends on which side of the spectrum he/she is on...

Smileyk, you are a very beautiful and intelligent young lady:)...It is so good to know that deep inside what we parents sometimes feel is a child that cannot be connected to is someone who sees everything but just can't help or find a way to express their feelings in a safe way...It gives me the hope and has empowered me to find different ways of making the connections between me and my son deeper...You are trully an inspiration...x

Dooday, I feel for you, please don't give up...from what smileyk has written it is a conformation for you that your son is very intelligent but just has issues he cannot deal with or understand...they cannot see the severity of their actions...there has to be someone out there who can help...I'm suprised if his under Cahms and not wanting to see the lady who been assigned to him that they would make it a priority to find someone who he will be relaxed around, as his behaviour towards you is not helping you in being there for him...my son can also become quite aggressive and at 11 he is 7ft, 8 and towers over me...he can pin me down very easily but luckily I keep talking to him about respect in simple terms he can understand and how to behave around me...I know he love me very much but when he gets angry he just sees red and can't control his outburts...When he was around 5/6 we got him boxing gloves and a punch bag to take his frusterations on safely...or use cushions to punch out his anger...look at his diet if you can try and see if removing the E'' numbers, foods colours etc calm him down... its not easy but look for anything that he can focus his attention on and find confidence through this. What is his main interest?...my son has calmed down alot since he became interested in Football...he has made many friends through this interest...my son has also started year 7 this year and I can imagine the concerns you have...having an interest that he can talk to other children about will give him the edge he needs...please look after yourself too...for your strength is what will carry him through too...being a mum, especially to a child with needs can deplete your energy reserves to max, keep working with love, it is the only form of strength that will empower you to make things happen for both of you:)!...x

I think sometimes people get stuck in a certain place that can overwhelm them and are too fearful of were their next steps will take them...FEAR is the main culprit that stops us from seeing things as they really are, or taking responsibility for the choices that we make or don't make...Either we're too laid back and can't be bothered and look for the opinions of others to give us a direction to TRY and follow or we force our own opinions on others so that we can feel we are in the right and know what we are doing...or simply we're soooo... lost that we really can't see the sign posts or have enough energy to even begin to sift through our lives or put any practicality in to sorting our lives out because we feel we're simply not capeable of doing that and give up even before trying... As much as I sometimes feel things are just moved around on forums from one position to the next without any visible success, I feel alot is achieved behind the scenes, even if it just gives someone the strength to take their first steps in knowing that there are others out there in the very same if not worst positions than them...or allowing someone whose found it hard to express what they feel to be able to write a few words...it gives them a foundation to move forwards and learn to take the reins of life in their own hands...nothing is ever wasted maybe just takes a different or alternative route...Everything is a process...a step at a time...those of us who have the capabilities or have been blessed to have had the strength to walk through the dark passages and come out the other end are now tested for their Patience, Tolerance and the ability to understand the pitfalls of this journey and allow those who are still struggling to come home in their own time with as much support and understanding as possible. This shows us what WE still need to work on, were we're still lacking as WHOLE human beings...there are certain things in life that just cannot be hurried and need time to heal from within...Isn't that the whole purpose of having compassion and mercy...?

Hi lou, My son didn't make eye contact until he was around 7 or 8 with me and much later with his teachers...Eye contact is all about trust...Like yourself I tried working with him, keeping eye contact with him while talking to him and if he looked away I would gentley gesture him to look back into my eyes again... but at school things were different...Its all about trust, if he is lucky to have teachers who understand his diagnosis they will to work with him too...and make sure they sit to his level and gentley keep coersing him to make eye contact...Is your son on the SEN register and are the Autism communication team involved?... They will help his teachers to use different stratagies needed from visual cues to support through services...If he is on the Sen register talk to his SEn co-ordinator about how they can help him progress at school...If not find out if the school have a SEN co-ordinator, make an appt as soon as...the earlier his needs are met the better for him...I hope it helps...

Hi Athrylith, Welcome to the forum...You're int he right place, hopefully you will find the forum very informative and helpful...

Wow!...Interesting:)

I think it varies, my son as a toddler in Nursery found it difficult to interact with children his own age but he was very sociable with adults...he would run upto a stranger in the street with a gorgeous smile and put his hand out for a handshake...people warmed to him like a moth to flame... As he went through the junior school, he had problems with bullying in the first 3 years but even than he showed interest in making friends...by year 5 the very bullies who bullied him since the start of school became his very best friends...the only problem we had with his friendships was that he would steal treats from home to keep his friends which kinda lead to him taking money afew times to give to them too...even though they were his friends already he did feel that maybe he wasn't worthy of their friendship and he had to pligh them with incentives to keep the friendship going...All he needed was to be assured of what friendship is all about that it cannot be bought...Last day of year 6, he was really emotional, while his friends gave eachother hugs and promised to stay friends for life, my son was beside himself...He started to cry so badly he couldn't stop...he hadn't even said goodbye to his friends yet...my husband had to take him to his car to settle him down for a while...than goodbye's were said with a very sad face trying to hold his emotions in...6 months down the line and he still hold their friendship very dear and can see he will hold onto their friendship for a long time to come...and to my astonishment he made 5/6 friends on day of his induction, in his new year 7 class...and carries on make more friends as days pass...I think having similar interests and skills goes along way to making friends that really matter... So I believe being in the spectrum you can either be overly sensitive or under sensitive or both...My son is both, there are times he won't even acknolwedge how someone's feeling because of way he has behaved towards them, but he can feel the depths of sadness when watching something emotional on T.v and can relate...

Darkshine, you are the only person who can break the self distructive cycle and decide to walk off the emotional rollercoaster...but it has to begin with you wanting to do this whole heartedly...It WILL happen, beleive me, when you've really had enough and don't want anymore of this, you will decide not to entertain the old ways any longer...Its a split second desicion that will place you on the road back to the real you...It will give you the courage, the strength and the knowhow of were to begin and how to progress...We are all individuals what works for one may not work for the other, or even as in my case what works once may not work the next time but I have learnt to utilise everything that feels right for me...and I chop and change to what FEELS right...Have faith in your self and your own abilities to know what is right...listen to your conscience it will guide you....CONSCIENCE IS ROOT OF ALL TRUE COURAGE, IF A MAN WOULD BE BRAVE LET HIM OBEY HIS CONSCIENCE....Listen to that little inner voice inside you, it is never wrong...Listen to the sensations in your body, on how it reacts when you decide on something....listen to your heart but always use logic to balance and weigh things up...Balance is the key....In the beginning you will walk one step forwards two steps back but don't give up, keep walking and soon you will find yourself walking off into the sunset, No more resistence, no more self distructive and self limiting thoughts, FREE to be YOu!...

I think that says it all!....Thank you for putting this video up Lancslad...sometimes we lose sight of the shore because we're so caught up in our own world...

Darkshine, every word you have written reminds me of a moment or time when I too went through the very same...the road back is hard and one must learn to commit oneself to wanting to bring in those changes that are needed...my mind was fleeting through situations like a runaway train...I had no idea were to even begin my mind was so full, so heavy of 1000 different scenarios coming all at once...I became overly clumsy, forgetful t the point that I would forget the names of people I had known all my life...I couldn't remember the contents of a converation I had with someone a couple of minutes before...I was being called all sorts of names from dozy, to clutterbrains to statements "If it was Yasmin, say no more" smirking and chuckling themselves...As hurtful as being called these names was I knew I had to get grips with reality... So I decided to deal with things one at a time and I knew the very first thing to do was to calm the storm in my mind, clear out the clutter so I can see more vividly what needed tweeking... I started to meditate, it wasn't easy, there were times I gave up after a few days other days I perservered...my patience was at its lowest point and I wanted quick results, THERE IS NO QUICK ANSWER...The second thing I did was to be very strict in being mindful of the task at hand...This was also very difficult to put into practice...keeping my mind on one thing at a time when hundreds of tasks, feelings, emotions were fleeting past and distracting me was pretty frusterating to say the least...but I kept on telling myself it would be worth it...I knew how important this excercise was if I wanted to put changes into my life and have a life that was fulfilling...these two excercises helped to calm and clear the storm inside my head...Than came the task to face the demons, one by one...and not being afraid to see the wrong choices I had made and their consequences...Taking responsibility for my own action and being at peace with what was out of my hands... Darkshine, there is so much more but this is enough to see were you may also need to begin...meditate, even if you can for 5 mins a day...be mindful of the task at hand, each time your mind wonders, gently bring it back to the task...hope it helps:)

Skimrande, I in no way wanted to cause any offence to anyone...ignorance can only be removed by talking and wanting to understand the logic behind the paths people have chosen in their lives...isn't that what learning about eachother is all about...for we all interact on this world if we cannot try to understand anothers way than we remain secluded from the larger society...I sincerely opplogise if anything I have written has upset you, that was not my intention...I respect you as the person you are and I respect your chosen way of life... through this I have gained a history lesson in regards to clothing and feel in awe of your knowledge of the world...peace and blessings

TO A BRAVE MAN GOOD AND BAD LUCK ARE LIKE HIS LEFT AND RIGHT HAND HE USE BOTH! The longer I live, the more I realise the impact of attitude on life...Attitude is more important to me than fact...It is more important than the past, the education, the money, cirumstances, failures, successes and what other people say or do...It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill...Attitude will make you or break you! The most remarkable thing is that we have a choice every day regarding our attitude we will embrace that day...We cannot change our past, we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way...We cannot change the inevitable...The only thing we can do is play the string we have and that is our attitude...I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it!.... ...We are in charge of our own attitudes... unknown

It is that very vulnerbility within us that defines a human being, but this quote shows that when one has a definate purpose in mind and we plan to succeed we can become powerful beyond all measure and can override the most testing trials and tribulations...I also use positive affirmations, but again they only work if we place our total faith and belief in the words...

Raydon, the only thing I can add on to what Lancslad has so clearly and efficiently written is that for years I tried to fit into other people perspective of who I am and how I should live my life, to the point that a few years back I totally lost myself...I became a people pleaser, a mat for eveyone to walk on, and take advantage of...I say, became, because this was a form of conditioning that started during my childhood and I allowed to go on for years...I was born as a small adult rather than a child...there were alot of issues in our household, mum always ill, crying, depressed, dad always shouting to the top of his lungs threatening he was gonna leave...I had always been more senitive to what was going on than my siblings and it effected me much more deeply...As the oldest of the four girls my mum depended on me to help her with my younger sisters...I was only 5/6 when the baby sitting duties and helping with chores around the house started...I wasn't allowed to go and play with my friends as friends were a bad influence and helping my mum in the house was more important... But during those times what really effected me was the neglect I suffered from my mum, the lack of love, or even acknowledgment of me being one of her children, not the 'help'!...I got it into my head I wasn't worthy of her love, she didn't even notice me, therefore there was something wrong with me...the problem was with me, I had to change and be worthy of her love and attention...So began a long journey of becoming someone she would want to be proud of, someone she would notice and acknowledge... We moved house every year, as my father got bored in one place very easily and it was years of constant changing of houses and schools, which affected my education immensly ( as you may see from my spellings:)...By the age of 12 my schooling was put to an end...I only had 2 months at my first year in secondry school which is now year 7...In those days no-one was bothered, no school inspectors came down to find out why I wasn't at school...Now I was at home full time looking after my mum, taking on all the household duties...the atmosphere was always so heavy, so full of negativity, but I had set my mind on proving to my mum that I was worth her love...So I got with life, I learnt to do all that needed doing and I became pretty efficient at all that I did...but it was never enough Raydon,no matter what i did it always fell short...I was always made to feel like a failer...but I kept going hoping one day she will notice...Within this time, alot of self loathing started to set in, I started to hate who I was, I hated my life...I couldn't even look in the mirror, I hated the person looking back at me...As time went on I took on more and more, te external family members started placing alot of their duties on my shoulders too, from baby sitting, to being an all round family interpreter to working in the industrial business, to being the family birthing partner, filling in forms, make calls, writing formal letters, organising family events...the list went on and on and I grabbed any opportunity to excel and gain more recognition as anything else outsdie of my four walls was out of my reach...The final hurdle came the day I got married and that is a story for another day.... In the end my life was so fragmented, I was taking one mask off and changing into another so often...I lost YASMIN in the process....I started to feel resentful of the people who started to take advantage of my warm and caring disposition, I became angry, self hating, totally lost to negative emotions...It took me years of soul searching to discover that I had literally allowed people to dictate their needs and wants and I had placed myself in the very position I was in...The responsibility all came down on my shoulders regardless of the unending excuses I presented to myself for the outcome...I knew it would be a long and maybe very tough journey back, but I was now determined to work myself out of the rut I had placed myself in...We all have choices, even though the choices come surrounded by a wave of obstacles, we still have them, it is our responsiblity to wiegh up and choose to grab them and pay the price its tagged with...Today I have worked hard on finding me again, you are YOU Raydon...its very simple. You have clearly identified what it is you need to work on, all it takes is a little dedication...things like family relationships can be remedied by being consciouce of who you're with and how they fit into your life...one thing at a time...Sorry though I may not have written anything of great distress, it has taken alot out of me...as there was alot attached i havn't mentioned... BE yourself Raydon however you are don't ever lose the person you are, becasue you want to fit into someone else's idealogy...The best gift we can all give ourselves like Lansclad said is to be true to yourself, LIVE YOUR OWN TRUTH:)! Sorry don't know if anything made sense to you...

Thank you A-S, this is one of my favourite sayings, it has brought me through alot of tough times, and still does...

Hi Justine, My son at the age of 5 climbed our metal fence, inour back garden, he slipped and severely grazed his neck all the way down from under his chin...without us knowing he crept back into the bathroom tried to clean up the blood with wet tissues...he went passed me as I was working in the kitchen at that time and went upstairs with blood smearing all over the walls in all the rooms as he tried to find something to stop the blood flow...not finding anything he returned went back into the bathroom...As he took time, I knocked on the door to find out if he was ok, and why he was spending so much time in there...he had locked the door from inside and wouldn't open the door...I got really worried and begged him to open the door, the more anxious I became the more he wouldn't open the door, worried that he would be in trouble...On begging him to open the door and promising he won't get into trouble he opened the door...what I saw shook me to my bones...he was standing there calmly we wet tissues placed all over his neck and I could see that he was bleeding...it took a little coersing to get him to remove the tissues to see how bad he was...I told my husband to drop everything and we got him to casaulty as fast as we could...luckily he had surface grazing bad but not fatal... What really amazed me was how he didn't seem to feel much pain...the only time he cried was when he saw the panic in my face and voice...up until a couple of years ago, now his 11, he had legs full of large bumps all over the place, when asked what happened he had no idea...the only thing that really scared me was what if he has an injury (like Lancslad) and he doesn't seek help, thinking nothing of it and ending up with life threatening situation...I talked to specilaists but as far as they were concerened its just one of the Aspergers symptoms... So I've stopped worrying and have tried to make him aware of knowing when he needs help...Try not to worry too much, as a mum I think you will know when his really not well...have faith in your own intuition, it won't let you down:)