Jump to content
  • Announcements

    • Kris

      Depression, Mental Health and Crisis Support   06/04/2017

      Depression, Mental Health and Crisis Support   Depression and other mental health difficulties are common amongst people on the autistic spectrum and their carers.   People who are affected by general mental health difficulties are encouraged to receive and share information, support and advice with other forum members, though it is important to point out that this exchange of information is generally based on personal experience and opinions, and is not a substitute for professional medical help.   There is a list of sources of mental health support here: <a href="http://www.asd-forum.org.uk/forum/index.php?showtopic=18801" target="_blank">Mental Health Resources link</a>   People may experience a more serious crisis with their mental health and need urgent medical assistance and advice. However well intentioned, this is not an area of support that the forum can or should be attempting to offer and we would urge members who are feeling at risk of self-harm or suicide to contact either their own GP/health centre, or if out of hours contact NHS Direct on 0845 4647 or to call emergency services 999.   We want to reassure members that they have our full support in offering and seeking advice and information on general mental health issues. Members asking for information in order to help a person in their care are seeking to empower both themselves and those they represent, and we would naturally welcome any such dialogue on the forum.   However, any posts which are deemed to contain inference of personal intent to self-harm and/or suicide will be removed from the forum and that person will be contacted via the pm system with advice on where to seek appropriate help.   In addition to the post being removed, if a forum member is deemed to indicate an immediate risk to themselves, and are unable to be contacted via the pm system, the moderating team will take steps to ensure that person's safety. This may involve breaking previous confidentiality agreements and/or contacting the emergency services on that person's behalf.   Sometimes posts referring to self-harm do not indicate an immediate risk, but they may contain material which others find inappropriate or distressing. This type of post will also be removed from the public forum at the moderator's/administrator's discretion, considering the forum user base as a whole.   If any member receives a PM indicating an immediate risk and is not in a position (or does not want) to intervene, they should forward the PM to the moderating team, who will deal with the disclosure in accordance with the above guidelines.   We trust all members will appreciate the reasoning behind these guidelines, and our intention to urge any member struggling with suicidal feelings to seek and receive approproiate support from trained and experienced professional resources.   The forum guidelines have been updated to reflect the above.   Regards,   The mod/admin team

steverogers

Members
  • Content count

    38
  • Joined

  • Last visited

About steverogers

  • Rank
    Salisbury Hill
  • Birthday 05/17/1984

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Male
  • Location
    Liverpool
  • Interests
    Autism/Asperger's Syndrome Cases.

    Old cartoons, films and TV shows.

    SF

    Comic books and Newspaper Strips

    Lego
  1. Why do so many Aspies 'look Autistic'?

    AS I have said before, as it was some time ago when I first started this thread, I now stand corrected. What you said in your repily hits the nail right on the head regarding my not undrstanding other people's views, which indeed you are correct that I have a (to use your words) a 'right and wrong' mentailty to things that people do or say. My term that I often use is 'behavor is king' meaning that as long as someone engages in the 'right' behavor(s) when they are arroud me then I consider them to be whatever they are at face value. This does not mean that I have an issue uderstanding, say the motives of a fictional character, or indeed irony in works of fiction, as it happens there is a lot of ironic humour and satire in a great many of the fictional works which I enjoy (eg 'Tintin' and the writings of 'Mark Twain') which-yes- I happen to 'get'. However in real life, I stuggle with that kid of thing, granted I have picked up a LOT of things along the way in this life and have been thought socal skills by my support staff and by my family. Plus I have read a lot of books about the workings of the human mind and quite a bit about Autsim, in order to better understand myself. Regardless of this I do still slip up from time to time. When I first put up the OP I was under the impression that as Autism is a mental condiction (ie to do with the brain) and not a pyisical condiction (ie to do with the body) then I was baffled as to why I so many people with Autism look the way we do. What I meant was that if you see a man who (for whatever reason) who has lost his legs (or was born without any) you can see that he has no legs and may or may not be using a wheelchair. However if it is someone with Autism he will not, let's say, happen to have been born wirh blue skin, what you can tell however is the way that they behave, and in some cases how they look. For many years I acepted, without really thinking about it that people who had Autism, to put it bluntly, were 'just like that' and that it was pointless to tell them to act or look otherwise. However then there came a female resident to the group home that I happened to be living in at the time, who had AS and all that, but who took care of her appearace and who had even (to use my term that I used at the time) 'lived a life' in that she, had spent her entire school years in mainstream school, was not a virgin, who had lived on her own outside of her family or a care company and who had held down a number of jobs in her time cheifly due to the simple fact that she had ot been diginosed until adulthood. She did however have large number of emotional issues, plus she had a few 'quirks' here and there and (partly as a result) I did grow quite fond or her at the time but that is another story for another time... This competly blew my mind at the time, because here there was right in front of me was an Aspie who did pretty much everything that a NT would do regarding her apprence and (for the most part) her social interactions. By the time she, and a little later myself, left the group home we were in I became imspired by her to 'live a life' as much as I could and as safely as possible. Over time I also began to notice that many of the men and women who I interacted (who had Autism that is) started (for me) 'look Autistic' and I began to question the views and asumpsions that I held ever since late childhood regarding those in the comunity, so while I had (and in some cases still have) quirks here and there I fell back on my view hat 'behaivor is king' as after all looking after yourself involves 'behavors' (eg brushing your teeth or combing your hair) which result in your looking nice. As it happens this thread has answared my questions and brought my attention a great number of issues which can 'get in the way' of looking like an NT. Thank you for reading
  2. Why do so many Aspies 'look Autistic'?

    Just to expand on this matter, the reason why I said what I said was that I always thought that it was a part of what I call 'Autistic Culture'. As I have lived and mixed with quite a few Aspies and Auties over the years I came to the conclusion that many of the traits that a lot of people out there exist because of our/their mixing with others who have Autism and in order to 'mix in' they/we chose to (without really realising it) copy their/our peers, as indeed any other group of people who are mixed together be it by choise or by cercomstances would do. For example, when I first went to Special Ed (a long story) I found that many of the kids there enjoyed, of all things, Sonic the Hedgehog games, comics and cartoons. Granted this was the 90s, so it was (at the time) a common thing for children of that age and era to be into, before the discovered, how shall I put it, 'other' and more 'adult' things. But after I started surfing the net I found that it was very common for Sonic fans to have some kind of Autism or learning difficulty. This I feel would make the subject of an even wider debate, which I would like to share with you my veiws and observations regarding it. I also felt, chiefly by by my own expernce of being told by the staff at my old school that the reason why (to put it bluntly) the more 'worse off' (for want of a better term) pupils behaved in the ways that they did was due to the fact that (again to put it bluntly) they 'did not know any better'. Cuppled with the fact that I have over the years read a large number of books about Autism (mostly ones written by and for health care professionalsand parents, not always the best place to get info, but still...) and had seen a lot of documentaries regarding the subject, from what I had seen I was under the impression that many people on the spectrum simply (for want of a better term) 'did not know any better' because nobody told them otherwise. I personlly am a very tolerant person, as my 'rule of the thumb' regarding other people is as follows... 'If it isn't harming or offending me and/or my loved ones/friends then it is OK by me' However, while I take back what I said regading the idea that we should all try to 'fit in' I do still feel that there should be more done to 'explain how the world works' and 'what is expected of an adult in this life'. Granted I personally don't agree with a lot of things that happen in the world, this also happens to include a great many things which are considered 'normal' or 'life' but I feel that a lot of our kind are at this very moment being bullied by their peers and want very badly to 'crack the code' of social 'norms' but are unable to do so as no one is giving them the infomation they want or are not being told said infomation in ways which they can accept or understand. However if someone were to be given this infomation, understood it accept it, but then (fully aware of what may happen as a result) chooses to do it 'my way' (as the old song says) then (provided that is not harming anyone else) that is fine by me. In fact for me I personally have a lot of respect for people who do this, such as the case of one woman who lives life as though she lived in the 1950s because she did not like the way the world is going today. I respect her for this a great deal, not just because I happen to enjoy and lot of old media and respect the many of the values of those eras, but also because I feel that she has done a far, far more sensable thing to do, in that she outright went and did something about her problems she had with living in the 21st Century rather than the 1950s, instend of just sitting around and moping in a pub, or on FaceBook moaning about the fact that the 'good old days' (relaitively speaking) were gone like I find a lot of people doing both IRL and on the net.
  3. Why do so many Aspies 'look Autistic'?

    After reading all of your replies, I now feel that I must swollow my pride and say.... I stand corrected. Nuff said
  4. I have been giving this a lot of thought regarding whether or not if I should come forward and say this, and now I beleve that I should come forward and say that I am very sorry if I offended anyone with regard to some of the 'content' in some of my past posts. I will not make excuses for myself as I choseto use the words and refernces that I used. Purely from my own memory I can recall a post I made regarding an activity of an indervidel which I was worried would bring him some issues in the future. At the time I felt that it would offend nobody, as I was under the impression that as we are (mostly) all adults here it wouldn't be an issue. However it seemed that it was, and so after giving some thought on the matter I considered the kinds of things that I myself take offence to in adult media (regardless of the fact that I myself am an adult, heck some of the things which go on in children's media nowdays offends me even more, chiefly due to the fact that it is aimed at minors) sure what I said wasn't the some kinds of things, but anyhow I lerned my lession and told myself that I would not use those kind of refernces here again. The other time which I found myself 'censered' I also regret, and I am very sorry if it offended anyone with regards to the strong words I used. Just for the record I do not go round the internet posting stuff just to offend people, yes I will from time to time use strong words both onthe Net and IRL, this is chiefly due to the fact that for most of my adult life I have mixed with people who are from workng class areas and who are unemployed. I do not say this to put people down, but it is a well documented fact that most of those who are from poorer parts of the UK are a bit more in your face, thus after leaving my middle class home, I thorght myself to adapt, which has since become somethig of a habit. Many people have told me that when they first meet me that I am quite soft spoken and polite with a few more in your face terms tossed in in order to stop myself looking like I'm 'Tim nice but Dim' from Harry Enfield, although I am far from dim. Lastly I would like to say that I'm sorry about all the typos in some of my posts, as my Google Crome that I have on my laptop lacks a spell checker and Grammer checker so I would like to find out if I can get one for free of the web. Think you for reading.
  5. Why do so many Aspies 'look Autistic'?

    Just got back from a short holiday in Scotland, had been meaning to say this before, but was unable to do so until now. Firstly, regarding overloading an Autie or Aspie with information is a factor that I am aware of. For example I myself can get a little stressed out if I have a lot of different apointments to make which involve a lot of traveling on my part.back and fourth the city on the bus. I'm fine if the places that I need to go to are close together (eg shops in the city centre) but if I have to get a lot of buses all the way up and down Liverpool and/or various outskirts, then I choose to pick the more important one(s) (eg going to the doctor's for a check up or if I am ill) over a less important one (eg going to the pictures to see a film). As has been said before, myself included, 'for us interests come first' so I can understand how this may work regarding taking care of ones outward apperence. However there is this thread which I found some tome ago on Wrong Planet, I don't normally go on there very much anymore (for reasons of my own, chiefly the negitivity from various theads and post) but I thought that some of you out there might like to see it. You'll find the link here. https://wrongplanet.net/forums/viewtopic.php?t=290963 There is also the issue of inderviduals being taken advantage of by others with a lower moral character, however one of the many, many downsizes to 'looking autistic' can include being taken advantage of by those who know what they are looking for in a victim.Thus one could say that it may be better if we all tried to 'pass' or blend in.
  6. Why do so many Aspies 'look Autistic'?

    Right, erm just a moment while I write this reply as I can see that my OP has made some people upset... Firstly I would like to point out that while I may not seem to be very accepting of people who do not look 'normal' (if you pardon my use of the term) I would like to add that I myself do not look 100% NT myself. This is because in the past year I have started to greesy skin, thus I not have a lot of spots. Also as trekster has pointed out, yes I'll admit it I do like to eat quite a bit of the fattening foods and while I haven't spent much time in the gym over the last four or five months I have long since gotten (ever since childhood) into the habit of taking long walks in the park or into town. Yes, as it happens I will sometimes eat a small bag of fries and a medium sized bottle (or can) of Coke I am wiling to admit to that. However I only spend about 2 or 3 pounds max on this, the rest goes on items such as my weekly payments for food, tolietres and cleaning products. What's left of that always go towards books (hard copies and/or kindle) collectable action figures (eg Transformers Masterpieces, Hot Toys and various satues-mainly I must confess of anime and manga girls) DVDs and Blu Rays relating to my intersts. About two or three times a year I will go for a BIG clothes shop, where I will get lots of clothes, underwear and shoes. While I do not closely follow fashion, prefering to wear clothing that is conforable and practial, I will, as it happens, buy items that I think 'look good' and yes I do own a number of item which are of the big brands here and there. This is more to the point of what I was trying to drive at, where I wasn't trying to be judgemental towards people who have health problems or who are in a long term state of depression (both of which I have been though in the past and may indeed go though again in the future) or indeed are intersted only in 'higher things' which I tend to focus on a lot as do most people on the spectrum which I have met over the years. For example, in my flat all of my toys, books, BluRays, DVDs and computer equipment (dito for my other electronic things, such as my TV, BluRay player and kitchen things) take pride of place on my shelves, neatly, in order and (for the most part) looking (almost) brand new. My clothes on the other hand are in my cupboards and closerts. Granted they are not all in size or colour order, or even in whatever type or garment order, but as far as I see things, if they are clean, intact and not on the floor I'm fine with them being in that kind of storeage arragement. After all if you get a bit of mud splashed onto your jacket, all you have to do is toss it in the washing matchine, hang it out to dry, and then it will fine. You can't very much do that with a book or DVD, and if it is no longer avaible, then you are sunk! However on the other hand, it is my view that that us Aspies and Auties perfer to be told what we need to know point blank, not in a rude way, or in a way that could be seen as abusive or like bullying, just a simple statement of whatever is 'wrong' in any given sitution (it does not always have to be about appearance) and what they need to do in order to 'fix' it. eg A service user (or resident) comes downstairs from his/her flat/bedroom, said person is dirty and smells a bit 'off'. A Support Worker/Carer point black, in a calm, professional tone speeks words to the effect of.. "Simon, you smell, you are dirty, you need a bath and need to put on some clean clothes, go upstairs to your room/flat, have a bath, put on some clean clothes and put the dirty ones in the washing matchine." (I will add that the above quote is NOT the exact wording that I think should be used in such a sitution in real life, I only used as an example) Please explain to me how this could be seen as bullying or mocking are person for being different, if it were bullying then it would have words to he effect of... "EWW Simon, you smell! You are dirty! I hate you!" My second quote, is the kind of thing a billy would say. The first one however, merely states a problem, followed by how it could be resolved. As Nick Fury, said in the movie version of the 'Winter Soilder' storyline (from Captain America) " SHIELD deals with the world how it is, not how we'd like it to be." Even though I am a BIG (and long term, well, well before the new movies, or in fact well before the Burbaker run) fan of Cap, and I often see myself as a kind of British Steve Rogers, in this case I can see quite a lot of Steve Rogers in many of the staff that I have worked with over the years. While to many (if not most) of them will simply see their work as 'just a job' (don't get me wrong I have had many, many wonderful staff work with me over the years and indeed most of them have said that I am a lot easyer for them to work with than some of the other service users) and will quickly 'jump ship' whenever a 'better deal' comes their way, I have found that they seem to be sort of...naive regarding the public's views reguarding Autism and other mental health disorders. They often seem to think that because they are OK with our little 'qurks' or 'differences' and even quite like us in a way. (edited to remove derogatory terms by moderator) You may think that the soltion to this issue would be for us to date those who are in the same boat as ourseleves, (edited to remove derogatory terms by moderator) Think about it..... Yes I for one have dated a number of girls who are on the spectrum but I know for a fact what would happen if I right out informed them that they did not meet my 'standards' of beauty and good manners.... think about it... Lastly I would like to say that I am very, very sorry if my tone in my past posts upset anyone as it wasn't my intention to do so. Thank you for taking the time to read this.
  7. I'M BAAAACCCCKKK!!!!! So if you pardon my asking what has been going since I was away

  8. Sadly my mum passed away yesterday...

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. matzoball

      matzoball

      My condolences, really sorry to hear that. Do you have people around you for support?

    3. Livelife

      Livelife

      I am sorry to hear your sad news my thoughts are with you at this sad time.

    4. steverogers

      steverogers

      Thank you for all of the kind messages, don't worry though I have the support of my partner, friends and staff, plus I have my dad's phone number at hand

  9. what's your favorite animal?

    Apes, all kinds barring humans who have a so called 'modern' outlook on life. i,e, people who think that you can do whatever you want or dream about even if it is morally wrong.
  10. How much of you is ASD and of you much of is you upbringing, possible internationalization or your own personality? Consider this... I knew a man in his mid thirties has got AS likes to play video games on his X-Box One. All is well and good, however he spends all day in his room, doesn't tidy up after himself, hardly speaks to anyone and tries to act like a 'badass' (from one of his fave games) which sadly makes him look like a dickhead, if you pardon me saying so. He also hardly washes, sees women as sex objects (as in living sex dolls, not just people who only exist to have sex with) fancy's Japanese school girls (not just the henti mind, I'm talking about photos and videos of real people) At present (to the best of my knowledge) he still attends a day center (I've long since stopped attending) for those who are lower functioning, which he started going to when he was 17 or 18. Please bear in mind that this is someone with more or less the same kind of AS as Bill Gates, attending a day center (granted he could have been forced to go by his mum, but he could get himself a flat with the benefits he's on) Also I might add that he spends all day sitting at his X-Box in a little room (which was where the phones used to be kept) where he is separate from everyone else and has taken it over as his own 'work space'. If he is traveling in a car with someone he will insist on the staff flipping a coin to see who goes in the front seat. Also he was VERY spoiled as a boy as his mum saw him as 'special' due to his conditions (he has epilepsy as well as AS) and be very controlling towards his 'friends'. The main question I am asking is this... How much of Autism is pure Autism and how much of it due to the differences in treatment which sometimes happen when a kid get diagnosed? Or indeed how much of it is due to spending much of your adult life 'cut off' from the outside world (be it in care homes and day centres) I'll put out some more info about Phil (that is his name) when I get the time.
  11. A question I often ask is 'Why am I so lucky?' Now I'm not trying to sound like arrogant person who looks down on those who've had a hard life (although I prefer not to hear such stories from people as it overload me with being upset) but all things considered compared to the stories that I have heard on this and other sites plus in real life and in books (about Autism) on the whole I've had an easy life. Consider this... When I was nine years old I was diagnosed with HFA, and then later AS after the condition became better known among professionals and teachers. This was I may add due to my (back then) violent outbursts towards other kids in school when I felt that they had cheesed me off or had broken the school rules, like some kind of superhero would with criminals. When I was ten I went to an Autistic school which at the time I hated due to the abundance of LFA kids there, however I do have fund memories of the trips my class (I was in when became the AS class) would make to museums, stately homes, the library, the cafes, nature trails and best of all Summer Camp. All things considered I was a lot better off there in my early teenage years than in a so called 'normal' school as I (and others) weren't picked on and would learn in a relatively stress free environment. Later I went to a school for kids who had been in hospital for a long time, were in Special Ed or quite a few other reason that I can't think of right now. There we did mainstream school work and exams. However the school was quite small so we only attended half of the day, and so many of us would (with the consent of our parents) study subjects of interest rather than the whole curriculum, all spread out over the week, while some of the rest was done as part of our homework. Later when I was sixteen I left home (of my own choice) and went to a group home down south for a number of years, before moving on. I would have left earlier if I could but the sad truth was that was all lacked the kind of opportunities such as supported living and outreach support (rather than care) at that time, so I told myself that it was 'better than nothing'. When I left I went to a rest-bite unit for a while until they could find somewhere more permanent, which they did. As it stands I was an only child, come from a loving home where my dad earned quite a large wage before retiring and you could say I had the perfect childhood. I have known other people who's home situations were very much the same (ie loving family and lots of money) but they had been sent to mainstream schools (in some cases even after being diagnosed) where they got bullied or when they became adults had no support, barring family. I also read that it is a lot harder to get diagnosed with ASD or AS when you are an adult (or sometimes with children) nowadays, partly I think this is due to some people cheating the benefit system and so they had to make it harder for them to get 'free money' (which is what benefits are when you boil it down) or other kinds of special treatment. So why am I so lucky, while others in the exact same situation as me aren't .
  12. With regards to Luke not being able to defend himself when mugged, the truth is that it was more of a problem with my friend, who I might add know several forms of marshal arts and would most likely put the scumbag in a coma if he/she tried it on him. The main point of the OP was that as Luke (my friend split up with him recently by the way) 'stands out' more than some others I know with AS or Autism we were worried that he may be bullied or taken advantage of by less than moral people at work or in the street, and so should not be allowed out on his own unless he learns some more skills. The same can be said of the girl I once knew as well, although she may have changed by now as it was some years ago when I last saw her. Another point is that when Luke hangs around with Tim, he attracts negative attention to both himself and Luke with his behaviors (Tim has to live in a care home due to his issues and functioning capacity) which both me and my friend do in fact agree that he should stop hanging around with Tim.
  13. Here is a link to a video I made for YouTube. Please Comment. https://youtu.be/V5HROmUjFj8 Thanks.
  14. Warning this is a LONG POST In the past I have posted posts and started treads where I have spoken all about my views on people with various forms of Autism who 'show' their condition more than myself or some of my friends. This may have made me seem a little judgmental and unfair, but the truth is that I am far from those kind of things indeed. For example, I have a VERY close friend (we aren't together in case you were wondering, long story) who is not only a member of the transgender community but is also OS (Objectum Sexual, or at least I think that what it stands for) as he (for he was once a 'she' and a VERY macho one at that) is into robots, such as the Transformers and RoboCop and so will often use his toys (which he will often play with like a big kid) for sex for he has told me that OS people believe that objects have soul (an interesting concept in any case) and so thus he feels that when have he uses his toy of say Megatron, he is having sex with him. Otherwise my friend is perfectly verbal, can go out on his own, is streetwise, is VERY clean and tidy (more so than me), can fix computers and do repair work on robots (he once worked behind the scenes on 'Robot Wars' as a volunteer for his uncle worked on the house robots for the show) knows a number of kinds of marshal arts, among other things... I am not judgmental towards him one bit as I feel that he has 'proven' himself to be a good friend. Granted I (and my friend) find it difficult to cope with those who have much lower functioning ability than I have or those who engage in far more 'challenging behaviors' than myself (I used to hit people, but I have stopped now, I only bellow when I have a meltdown now) as I tend to 'judge' people by their actions or behaviors and thus I expect people to act 'good' all of the time, even when they don't feel like it. However my friend also knows his limits and so has long ago given up the idea of going to work or leaving the care company he is in, for he has a short fuse, is very strong, has no qualms about beating someone to a pulp, see's himself as something of a superhero and would most likely find himself in prison if he went to work and go involved in office politics. Anyway I digress so now onto the point of my discussion. My friend, although having a number of robot partners also has a boyfriend called Luke. Luke is in his 30s, has a number of degrees and works full time. However he still lives with his mum and dad, who have kept him at home as he has a lot of 'immature' or 'Autistic' behaviors, suchs as drinking out of coke bottles like a baby would, sticking his fingers in his ears when talking and also closing his eyes. On top of that he doesn't change his underwear and hangs around with a man called Tim, who he likes to go bus and train trips together. This would be fine save for the fact that when the bus is late Tim kicks off and calls the bus drivers (as in all of them not just the one driving the bus at the time) 'pedos' and runs away yelling 'bus drivers are pedos!' and sticking his fingers at them. Luke is in the habit of following Tim when he does this, in some of the roughest parts of Liverpool.... For a while me and my friend thought that it would be a good idea that Luke be allowed to leave home and live on his own. But when we last met him we also discovered that as well as being unwilling to change his ways he also is totally unable to defend himself as he does not know what to do if someone tried to attack him. Granted I'm not the greatest fighter in the world (I come from a middle class background) but even I know how to push a thug to the floor and then run away! Like on the other hand just let my friend take his phone when we tested him. Now we feel that he should not be allowed to go out on his own or go to work, as he is THAT vulnerable. This reminds me of a girl I once knew who was VERY naive, would over spend on her credit card and get herself into all kinds of situations where she'd have problems with her co-workers. If I had my way I'd have had her kept on the premises of the group home she was living in and only allowed out with staff, banned from contact with certain members of her family (she did not get on with them) and forbidden to go to work. This is not me being sexist or saying that people with ASDs should be forbidden from following their dreams, but rather in cases where the person is vulnerable enough more measures (than those which exist already) should be put in place to keep them safe.
×