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<'> <'> Flutter <'> <'> Matthew is not in school so I can never blame school for his meltdowns. BUT I do know that most of Matthew's meltdowns are caused by what I now call 'Social Overload' He tries so hard to get it right but knows that he is getting it wrong and this is what triggers his switch to trip. How do you get round it? Wish I knew. <'> Oracle

Jonathan you like us - we like you - so don't fix it if it ain't broke - then we will all be happy Keep on posting Oracle

The problem is that this teacher has NO understanding of this condition or she would realise that your son has a very 'literal' understanding of the world around him - spoken AND written. Her actions have severely traumatised him and I would tell her this and also tell her that in the Disability Discrimination Act it states that 'she' must be making reasonable adjustments to enable your son to 'enjoy and achive' which is also one of the five aims in the new legislation Every Child Matters. This means it's the law. There are people who would be only to happy to listen to you about this and I think that I would be informing this Teacher and the Head of this fact. If your son is trauamatised he can not enjoy and achieve. What you are asking 'IS' reasonable and I feel that not only that, but this woman should be helping to un-do the damage she is causing. There is no way that my child would have read any more of this book at all and he could probably do with some social stories now to try and help him understand that this book is not real. I would tell her if she does not read up about his condition - go onto the NAS site and print out some info for her about 'literal' thinking and how it affects our children, that you will have no alternative but to contact the Disability Discrimination people and then do it. Seeriously she should not be allowed to get away with this. This is a BIG issue. If you wish then pm me. Oracle

Replying as a 'Mom' here. K would not be doing the lines if he were my son but I may well be issuing some of my own to the Teacher on the lines of ' Please remember that K is autistic, which is a disability' 150 times I agree with everything that everyone else has said but I would really be underlining to this Teacher that as part of the disability the remembering to take tihngs 'is' a BIG issue as are the orginisational skills. If a child in a Wheel Chair kept forgetting to take the break off before they moved their chair would they be punished for this? 'If' a punishment was in order then the disability should have been kept in mind when it was dished out sorry but this has made my blood boil. Oracle

I have removed the name of the school where Connective Education is delivered. Neither of my twso sons have ever attended but we have adpted this style of learning for both Matthew and David. Oracle Connective Education: Introduction Connective Education is both the philosophy and practise which drives strategy and curriculum development Essentially, Connective Education aims to support and facilitate students with autistic spectrum disorders to � make sense of their bodies; � make sense of the environments that work best for them; � make sense of their role in events � make sense of how they interface and interact with others. What we consider makes Connective Education unique is the fact that we aim to support students to make connections between these domains. So, not only do we want students to understand what their body is doing, for example, experiencing a fast rate of breathing. We support students to make the connection that this increased rate of breathing is as a response to environmental or people factors. In our experience, these are the connections which our students with ASD may not make themselves. Given the difficulties that people with ASD experience with theory of mind, we also believe that we need to help our students to make connections with their own thought processes and so develop skills to think about what is happening to their bodies; to think about what they are doing in their environment and to think about what they are thinking and learning ? what strategies they are trying and then evaluating the success of these strategies. We want to empower our students and make them in charge of their learning ? supporting them to understand what structures and strategies helped them and how to request these structures or how to make sure these structures are put in place. We wanted to adapt trends around how typical learners learn given what we know about patterns of learning for people with ASD. And in so doing, facilitate our students to reflect upon their actions, including more complex socially communicative behaviours and to even reflect upon their thoughts and internal states such as emotion ? in a way which promotes connectedness with those around them. Long term we hope to be able to demonstrate that people with autistic spectrum disorders can be supported to reflect upon their actions, think about their thoughts and so learn to modify their actions according to the social context. This could simply mean excusing oneself when things become too much. The Five Principles of Connective Education 1. We learn to be calm � I can feel changes in my body � I use Body Basics to help me feel calm � I go to places to be calm 2. We learn to use systems of work � I learn to use work systems in different tasks, with different people � I learn that someone else sets my work � I learn I am in charge of the work I do � I learn it is down to me to do the work to get my reward 3. We learn to relate/ interact � I learn that my actions connect with others � I learn there are rules to what I can do with/to others � I learn to ask for help 4. We learn to think about what we have done � I learn that I have chosen an action and I learn that there are consequences to this action. � I learn to think about my actions and to think about what other people think about my actions � I learn to plan and practice new actions � I learn to follow the school rules; these are my life rules. � I learn that if I break a school rule I will go to the function room. � I learn that in my life, there are consequences bigger than the function room. 5. We learn that we have responsibilities and rights � I learn that I will be held responsible for my actions � I learn I have a right that staff will listen to my perception of events. � I learn to accept there are rewards, sanctions & consequences for my actions � I learn that sometimes it is my responsibility to calm down, away from Heathermount. These are principles which underpin skills for life. Skills that will help me to: Live away from my family Earn my own money (get my own rewards) Relate to others Ask for help The Five Strands of Connective Education In conceptualising Connective Education, we have identified five strands which can be addressed individually but which in practise connect and interweave fluidly. We use these five strands to help us plan teaching-therapy sessions, to analyse incidents of behaviour and consider challenges faced by our students. The fluidity of this means that a student can ebb and flow; showing moments of insight and self-belief when they are calm and the environmental supports are appropriately structured and being accessed by students. . In unstructured times, the same student may struggle to simply remain seated and focused on another?s agenda. Body Basics. Connective Education began with a very detailed and comprehensive Body Basics curriculum which is used to facilitate and support students in their ability to identify and respond to body states such as anxiety and in developing strategies for maintaining periods of calm. With a state of manageable calm, students appear more able to physically give their attention. This sets the scene for us to help them come to another person?s agenda and so the learning to learn can begin. Our fundamental strand of Body Basics holds the key to a student?s state of being. One of the primary aims of using Body Basics is to help students find a rhythm of calm. This is taught through: � management of breathing. Environmental strategies are in place to support this and dedicated carryover throughout the curriculum. A second aim of the Body Basics curriculum, Body stories, is to support students who are touch sensitive and � encourage students to accept touch from others through the use of hand, foot and back massage. A third aim of the Body Basics curriculum is to develop a greater understanding of, and use by, students? of specific and targeted body postures: ?I use my hands to help me breathe?, especially at times of stress. ?I use my hands to help me think/listen? in helping them to regulate their attention. ?I use my hands to help me calm? to establish and regulate calm during low stress . Body Basics begin with specific learning opportunities which are then incorporated across the curriculum through task instructions and other environmental support. Environment The environment strand provides students with the structure which they learn to use and which then supports their access to school-based and work-based tasks. In addition to this structure students work towards using an organiser in order that they can access an individualised, daily timetable and know what sessions they will access, the order of these, the location of these and which adults will be present to help. In every session students are provided will the number of tasks they must complete; what will determine when these tasks will be completed (time or productivity) and again who will be present to help. Drawing on what is known regarding the transient nature of verbal language and the visual strengths of many of our students, all information is presented in written or graphic form. Graphic support within the environment includes not only visual timetables and specific task parameters but also includes the use of visual support to aid students in negotiating the social communication demands of their tasks. Relatedness In our experience, with maintenance of calm through a greater sense of self and structure comes the opportunity to facilitate awareness that there are others in the environment and that these people can operate alongside and interact with us. And so the area of relatedness refers to how we support students in understanding others, their relationship to others; understanding events and their relatedness to events. When considering the relatedness strand we put elements of visual structure and specific feedback to help students connect with people and events in their environment. This occurs at two levels: specific skill-building therapeutic/education sessions but also consistent and specific feedback throughout the curriculum. Adults interpret what they (the adults) are doing: e.g. ?My hands are down ? showing you I am waiting. I am waiting for you to stand on the waiting squares?. We see the role of staff in this sense-making process as one of making explicit any communications whether they be verbal or non-verbal. Staff need to think ?Do these students know what I am communicating?? and make explicit any implicit social codes through verbal or non-verbal communication. So, the adult?s role is to make what we take to be implicit as explicit; this is regardless of whether the student shows overt signs of confusion or not. In a functional, daily context this role is supported by staff through the use of mantras as opposed to detailed explanation and rationale. Currently in our secondary department, set times occur which enable students to explore social misunderstandings. Curriculum activities are considered in light of their social communication demands and strategies put in place to support these e.g. students are given visual cues to support their participation in group discussion. For students in the primary department this includes quiet and talker graphics helping students to focus on their role as being a listener or as taking a turn to talk within a very structured turn-taking routine. For older students we may visually map the process of communication to facilitate their conversational competence. Alternatively, the social communication demands of a work skills task may well be included and accounted for within their task instructions. Students are provided with visual support to facilitate their ability to request help. Staff working with students who are more passive will provide variable levels of support to facilitate students to access these visuals and initiate. Students who happily initiate but do so inappropriately, will be given explicit feedback coupled with visual support e.g. ?I didn?t know you were talking to me? in order that students understand why the communication has failed. Insight Can students develop insight into their strengths? Can they reflect upon the success of the interactions; the completion of tasks? Anecdotally we can say yes. We want to prove it. In typical learners, there are those students who are more reflective than others and it is these reflective learners who tend to be more successful in their learning. Many learners without ASD, who aren?t naturally reflective, can be taught to reflect upon their performance as a learner ? to great effect. There are many people with ASD who do pass theory of mind tests. We have direct access to people with ASD, as well as to those through the literature, who are able to use their strengths of logic thought to problem solve stressful or social situations. If we use these people as our models ? much like the models of reflective learners- then we believe many of our students may well be able to become more reflective in their thinking about their bodies & physical states; their environment; their interactions with others. Such reflections can then lead towards insight into the use of strategies and the success of such strategies. We want to students to develop insight into: � What makes my body get hot, what makes my heart beat faster, what makes me break out into a sweat; � What things in my environment do I respond well to? � What things in my environment do I find difficult? � What strategies will help me to complete tasks? � What happens when these strategies aren?t in place: � I don?t get it! (don?t understand); � I don?t know what to do; � I don?t know when I am going to be to finished � I don?t know where I am supposed to be. � What won?t work in this situation � What to do in order to get the system and strategies they need, into place. There exist different perspectives in the literature about whether you can reflect upon a skill if you don?t have it in the first place. Can you reflect upon a learning strategy as a strategy if you aren?t already using it? We want to prove that with the right tools in their toolkit, our students may well be able to take a set of strategies and use them as a means to an end. The ultimate end of course being successful employment. Self-belief Self-belief comes from trying strategies and being supported to choose ones which work. Self-belief that they are actually in control of making the right choice. These choices specifically include: � What I can do to breathe calmly � What I can do to ask for the strategies that I need to be present in my environment. � What I can do to change things in my environment which I find difficult? � What strategies which I can ask for will help me to complete tasks e.g. work systems; instructions; verbal vs written. � What I can do to clarify when these strategies aren?t in place: � ?I don?t get it!?, ?I don?t understand? � ?I need some help?, ?I don?t know what to do? � ?When will I be finished?? � ?Where do I go?? ?Where do I do this job?? ?Where do I go when I am finished?? � What will work in this situation We suggest that students who will be successful in the workplace and manage themselves need to have successful support with higher order functioning. This will be necessary for them to develop insight and self-belief into their functioning. FINALLY? We are not suggesting that all of our students with ASD respond equally well to all aspects of Connective Education. What we want to identify is that by thinking about the learning needs of pupils with ASD from an holistic perspective, by giving them strategies and tools to enable them to make connections within themselves and between themselves and the world around them and eventually between themselves and the world of work, that some students will achieve work-based success and an essence of well-being which is within their control. What we hope to demonstrate in the medium-term is that our students achieve a higher level of employment than is currently achieved by adults with ASD in the UK.

We use something called Connective Education with Matthew. It is where you connect your emotions with your body. It helps to identify and deal with anxiety, aggression, frustration etc. There is actually a school where this is delivered as part of the learning process to children with ASD. For anyone who is interested please mail me and I will send you a copy of the document we have. I might just add it to the resources section.It's worth a read Oracle

I always feel so helpless when Matthew is like that. You can see the torment but you have no idea why? <'> <'> <'> Oracle

God that sounds like me . I keep hearing myself say will someone shut me up PLEASE!!!!! We have two groups now one in Washington and one in Sunderland and both are different and different every time we meet. If that makes sense. It depends on if we have a guest speaker or just an informal meeting. It also depened on if it's just a tea and chat group or if you want to be more than that. When I set AIM Sunderland up it was always going to be more than just a coffee and a chat because that's what the parents who had been in touch said that they wanted. However we do have a laugh with each other as well as trying to help parents sort out their school problems. School is by far the biggest concern for most parents but there are others. We also try to throw in the odd evening meeting and have found that they are well attended. We also only meet once each month now because every week did not work for us. Oracle

We hosted this event last year in Sunderland and it was HUGE. Did not get to go (too old now) but my stepdaughter did and had a brilliant time. Enjoy Oracle

Hi Tilly I am a firm believer that the sensory issues our kids suffer from can impact just as much as their autism and that is why we are hoping to attract some funding to the local group to help parents who have children with these issues. Off to go and seek out the book Thanks Oracle

Hi Pingu, You get a blank page at the end of this form asking for anything else you think that they shold be aware of? I always use this to write down the things that you have mentioned. I read the DLA form back and then think but I forgot this and that and write it there. Well to be truthful I type it up and attach it. It is more of a snap shot of my son than anything else and that way you can include the things that you feel are important. Hope this helps. Oracle

To be honest I don't think that this has much to do with the fact that Matthew has autism. The three boys he plays with are all cousins living in our Close. We are probably the only none ex pit family living here and mostly all of the kids marry and live local However these families try hard to make sure that their sons all play together and only with each other It's stupid because although they are all roughly the same age they are poles apart in personalities. Matthew and K get on like a house on fire and K quite openly talks of his dislike for J and L and they for K But the parents and in K's case his Grandparents move heaven and earth to try and force them all together. Sadly they are the only kids in our Close apart from Matthew and two other autistic children who Matthew finds scary because they are non verbal and eat soil and dirt. Matthew has to tell them all about the germs factor and now he just wont go near them At the moment K is with his Mum who is now allowed to take him alternative weekends and one day during the week. When this happens he is allowed to come play here for as long as he wishes as his Mum is also local, and although I know why his Mum is not a full time Mum she is in my opinion, now more capable of at least knowing that you can't always chose your children's friends no matter how much you would like to. Even Matthew knows where the problem lies and it's not with the kids. Oracle

We had three years of this with David and he still has to fight to overcome his anxieties at times. David would, at one point, go 72 hours between each sleep because he was afraid to sleep We were doing a round the clock shift system with him, and his elder brother moved back into his room and placed a mattress on the floor in front of the door so that should he fall asleep, and David began to sleep walk, he would have to fall over his brother to get out of the room. This was not an ideal situation as at the time his brother was at University studying for his degree - goodness only knows how he ever made it. At one point David's phobias of creepy crawlies had him trying to jump out of the window at 5 am one morning while he was yelling for pest control. Every little thing was too much for him to cope with - in fact life itself was just too much. At this point we went back to see his psychiatrist who had a really good talk to David about his fears and asked him if he truly believed that the worst was always about to happen or was it just an irrational fear. David's response was that he knew he was being irrational but could not help it. The guy went on to explain to David that so long as he realised that he was being irrational he had little to fear in reality. I remember thinking well mate you have been a great help - NOT! He also told David that this kind of thing was a part of AS and that he would have to find coping methods to make his way through life. By this point I wanted to slit the guys throat David does not do negatives and I thought that this would trip his switch. It did but not in the way I expected. David began to talk about his worries and anxieties and if he could not do this verbally he wrote me notes and left them in the bathroom. It was the start of meaningful communications between he and I and although he is still very much aware that I can't take away his fears he knows that no matter what no he can tell me about them. I found out that David may not do negatives but he does do honesty. It has gotten much better as he has gotten older. He is 19 in July and has found the coping methods needed to get himself through the night without a sitter, and while it saddens me that he is having to find it within himself to cope, it also give me hope that he can find this from within himself. We did have several years of sheer hell when there was nothing but gloom on the horizon - but we worked our way through it and out of the other end. David is totally anti-medication and I support his decision. Meds are not for him and so we found other ways that thankfully worked for us. Oracle

Well done - fingers toes and everything crossed. Really hope it goes well for 'ALL' of you <'> Oracle

Just sent this to the BBC Having just read Asperger's 'has no link to crime' Hywel Griffith BBC Wales Health Correspondent I would like to aks if it is in fact correct that they boy mentioned in the article does not in fact have Aspergers Syndrome? There was a great deal of adverse publicity for people with Aspergers Syndrome created by what was printed in the press before and during this case, where it is my understanding that it was stated during the trial that this boy has Aspergers Syndrome. If this is not the case then I feel that it is now the duty of thr press and the BBC to give this just as much publicity. As the mother of two sons with autism - one with Aspergers Syndrome - and the coordinator of a National parents support group I would like to be able to set the record straight. Could you please clarify this point for me? thanks

OK with the kids but the parents continue to try to persuade their kids not to play with Matthew But then that is nothing new. I get sick of hearing them saying 'Don't play with Matthew' If he was badly behaved I could understand this but his only crime at the moment is that if one of the kids do something naughty Matthew has to tell Suppose that's life. Thanks for asking Oracle

I would like to know where the BBC got there info from because if you read this link http://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/new...et_girl_10.html you will see that it was stated in court during the trail of this lad that he has AS. Now I am one of those people who believes that during this kind of trial they are meant to tell the truth. It's important that they do. If this was stated and it's not true then something should be done and there should be a HUGE outcry made about this because it did do a blooming good paint job on AS. I for one am going to contact them and ask for their evidence on this. At the time there was a huge debate on another group about this lad and the fact that this was not the first time there had been an incident with him. Many felt (rightly or wrongly) that his parents had to carry some of the responsibility because they had asked others to cover for the lad and themselves. As you can see it went into quite a bit of detail. AS is made an example of every time something happens and the person concerned has AS. If someone is a loner and has few friends the press almost always start to speculate - so this is why this research is so important. But I also have to say that NAS state every time that there is no evidence to suggest that people with AS are more likely to offend that anyone else. Glad I got that off my chest. Oracle

One of many I am afraid Oracle

If they do not understand tone of voice then it really does not matter how something is said. It's the words that are used that matter and if one of our children feels threatened by them then they are going to react. Well that's 'my' perception'. Matthew is just like Brooks son and he has little understanding of tone of voice. I know this as he often asks Terry and I 'Are you angry with me?' 'Are you two fighting?' Terry and I find it difficult to have a conversation as he is always asking questions. 'Is this a nice conversation?' 'Are you happy?' So I have decided that tone of voice is not the issues it's the words used and how they have been received. Matthew finds someone just looking as him threatening never mind being spoken to. It's a hard nut to crack and I ain't cracked it yet Oracle

Have you ever read a book called 'More Than Words?' if not then try and get hold of a copy because it is really good at explaining behaviours and the reasons behind them. Here is a link to the book it's about one third of the way down the page. http://www.hanen.org/Hanen2002/pages/Learn...erMaterials.htm It's also really good at explaining sensory issues and it sounds like your little one could have quite a few of those. As for the hitting my son, now 9, did this all of the time. He found it fun to kick me in the knee until I fell over, he thought it a great laugh to hit you in the fact with a car or anything else for that matter. A speech therapist gave me a very clear explanation for this - that was that whatever he did it was NOT hurting him so he had no understanding that it was hurting others, even if they cried or were rolling around in agony because he did not understand his own emotions let alone anyone elses. That made sense to me so I used it as a yard stick. Matt would throw his toys just to see em roll or hear the crash they made He found it stimulating. Your not a bad Mum just someone trying to put all of the pieces of the jigsaw in the correct place. Do you have a local support group you could attend? We had a meeting this morning and although we all still went home to our ASD kids and nothing had changed we had found a place to off load and ask each other the questions that we often dare not ask any of the professionals. We also had a laugh and support each other. It's not for everyone but many of us find it does help. My son would never stay in a quiet place he always followed me around having his tantrum and it only made him worse and it would go on for longer if I locked him in his room. Listen to the experts and then do what is right for you and yours. He will grow out of this - but he may need some help along the way. I still need to remind my son that he is being a 'Space Invader' but now he understands what I am talking about and that makes it a whole lot easier. Find the book and ask about Early Bird because that might help to - if you can find the time to attend. If not ask for the notes and books that go with the course. Many Local Authorities run this course now see if yours is one of them. Hope some of this has helped you <'> Oracle PS High Functioning does not mean that the autism has any less of an impact - so don't let anyone kid you it does

No but I would give it to my eldest who would certainly stir the house up a bit and some. He does it here all of the time Oracle

Excuse me but my understanding is that ed pyshc's don't have the qualifications to diagnose at all let alone overturn it. I hear what you are saying that there was more to it than that - but what exactly? My son is now 9 and is still seen on a regular basis for a reassessment of his dx. I don't mind this at all in fact I welcome it because I don't want a him stuck with an inappropriate label. However for his dx to be overturned it would require a full reassessment from the multi agency team that is involved in these things, and I would then expect it in writing. It is my understanding that girls can often mask the ASD in a way which boys are unable to do and a great deal of what you have posted does sound like spectrum traits. But I would want to go back and start from scratch if I had these doubts. All you can do is to be honest. If I had to put the clock back to when my two were diagnosed and had to answers the questions about my eldest 'NT' son all over again, I will tell you now the answers I would give today would be totally different, because I now have a good all round knowledge of autism and I did not then. My eldest may not actually be on the spectrum but my goodness does he have some traits. I thought that because he was social and outgoing to the point that he is a DJ and also quite a good actor that that ruled ASD out. What I did not realise was that you can be outgoing and still have and ASD. My eldest is probably the most inappropriate one of my three sons and there are other issues, which scream ASD at me. What I am trying to say is that when we have the knowledge that it allows to look at things with a different eye. If in doubt rule it out. Oracle

I am an addict and proud of it Did anyone else see that a National Paper have actually printed the names of this years contestants with their faces blanked out? It was in the trashy paper that my Mum buys - but they are usually right about these things? Oracle

What a brilliant way of thinking. I 100% agree with you I know someone whose son took the dx well when she finally told him aged 10 - that was until he went to school and shared his news with his teachers who said yes we know. The whole issue went downhill after that because Mum had forgotten to speak to others first and ask them to pretend that they did not know The child came home and demanded to know just how many other people had been told before him? Just about everyone he knew. Including my son who had kept his mouth shut but could not understand 'why' it had to be like that. He found that a very bitter pill to swallow. So maybe that is something else that parents should be mindful of when they do eventually decided to let thier child in on it. I have to say that Matthew has a brilliant understanding of his condition already and he is only 9. We have been tuning him into himself for sometime now and I am amazed at how much he has taken on board. Never underestimate your children ASD or not. How we tick is as much a part of Matthew HE as maths and gardening is at the moment. Oracle

Better get a good supply of spinach in then Annie - this could be a lonnnnnnnnnnnnnng haul and you need to keep your strength up Oracle