Bambi

Aww hun sending u loads of <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> i know only too well what ur going thru and i wish i had a magic wand to fix it but i am so sorry i dont I too would love to know if T will stop being this violent coz like u i worry when he is bigger and stronger, even tho he is very strong now at the young age of 6! Heres hoping the future is brighter with less violence, take care hun. Bambi x

Thanx guys ur replies have helped me no end and i have just written my letter of complaint thanx JsMum for the push i knew i would have to but i did it with u saying, now i have to find out who to send it to which i will do first thing monday morn I cant and i wont take this s*** anymore and i will certainly tell the press this when they come on Tuesday, my son's mental health is going downhill very fast due to their ignorance but they cant ignore what will be printed! all i have ever wanted is what T needs and to see him in the state he is in is heartbreaking to say the least. U have really helped me in my time of need and i will forever be grateful of that Bambi x

Hi guys Well as u know i have been thru the mill in regards with getting help for T and today is bad as T is progressively getting worse, when the police came and were shocked at Ts behaviour they made it known to social services about our situation and they told me that if i have not heard anything a week after their visit to call them (police) back. Well as u can expect i heard nothing and when i called DC ***** back she informed me that SS have offered me help and i refused it! what a load of s***!!!! also they said that school say 'he was fine at school' and they were blind when they came to my home from concerns made to Child Protection by the EWO and his class teacher (they visited us and didnt see T as he refused to see them and stayed in his room). So today i have been on the fone to everyone u can think of and this is what i found out, i have been allocated a social worker and this was on 22nd February 07, why the hell wasnt i informed of this? and how strange this seems to of happened since the police visit. Also since this social worker being informed of us on 22nd Feb no- one has contacted me or told me anything of what is happening, is this common practice? I am in shock at the dissrespectfulness of the whole situation also this social worker has got 2 other very serious cases to deal with and she will be contacting me when she can (hence why she hasnt even contacted me as yet) if i want to spk to her before she gets round to me then i need to call her on Mon, Tues or Weds of the week as they are the days this lady works. What the hell am i meant to make of this situation? i informed the lady at social services ( i have her name for my records) that the police informed me that social services informed them that they offered me help and i refused, she was lost with this and denied any knowledge of police involvement, well if they were not aware of police involvement then why did i get allocated a social worker AFTER a police visit to my home and why the hell have i not been told of this? and where did the allocation of a social worker come from in the first place if nothing to do with the police visit? I am f****** fuming!!!!!! When i asked the lady for details (i was making notes while on fone) she was asking me why it was important! i told her strait its for my notes and i dont appreciate not being told of being allocated a social worker cheeky c**!!!!!!! What the hell do i do with this? i had to find all this out by myself today and i cant believe what is going on here, the social services lady said u need to get T back into school! FFS are these idiots not listening to me or taking any notice of Ts problems and at the end of the call i informed her that i am scared of my son and i get attacked all day each and every day, she asked how old T was i said 6 she said 'oh i thought he was an older child'. i am slowly going to lose the plot with these people coz i cant take their s*** no longer. I had a phone call from our local paper and they are coming to my home on Tuesday to do an interview and take pics as they are very keen for my story after i emailed them last night telling them what my life is like and how T is being left to rot. Any advice with how to deal with the social services ###### would be much appreciated please, will have all this documentated by the end of the weekend. Bambi x

I thank you all so much for ur words of advice and support here, i am trying to call Ts Paed now its engaged but i will let u know what he suggests when i tell him i cant cope like this anymore. Bambi x

Thanx for ur reply and the hugs Bambi x

Bless him Bambi x

Good luck i hope u do get the sleep that is well needed, i am hoping to be going down that road too as T doesnt sleep until 4am if i am lucky!! Bambi x

I cant cope and i dont know what to do T is very violent i suffer so many punches to my face, kicks, hair pulling & bites on a daily basis and its just wearing me down now. He is also self harming alot, he bites his arms and legs along with punching himself not forgetting throwimg himself about and i have to stop him hurting himself and he would draw blood if i didnt stop him. He is also trying to bite his fingers both hands go in and he is chomping down hard! i have to pull them out or he could easily bite fingers off with how sharp his teeth are. All the Paed can do is put him in hospital so what do i do? i feel i have failed coz look i cant even keep him from behaving like this, i cant imagine life being like this or worse and i dont see a quick fix solution to his severe probs. Bambi x

Hi bluejean My son was assessed last week and we were told of PDA and was given some info plus a website forum to join which someone has already given you and yes u are right it seems adult prognosis is not available as yet. I am trying to get my head around it myself as i have never heard of it before even tho i did 2 yrs research on ASDs and my son does fit most of the criteria along with Autistic tendancies and sensory problems. I wont have the dx report for another 5 wks yet and i am very keen to see this lengthy report as u can imagine. Hope we both can find out more and try to help our kids for them to have the best quality of life as poss. Bambi x

I have signed it. Bambi x

Awww hun im so sorry <'> <'> <'> no advice im afraid, im a single mum and when i have found it hard getting Ts dad to realise the extent of Ts difficulties i bombard him with facts and how T feels is not like how we would feel or any other 'normal' child so to spk. I have never been able to force him to accept and understand i can give all the info i can and point him in all the right directions but they need to be interested themselves. Have u both been on any early years courses or similar? maybe this would help him accept because he needs to really, it wont go away and the sooner he gets to grips with it the better all round. Take care. Bambi x

I have never been on one sorry. Bambi x

Congratulations! and wishing u all the best in ur new posts! Bambi x

ds= darlin son, i think anyway! dd= darlin daughter dh= darling hubby hope this helps ya when reading posts i was like that to begin with, VERY lost! Bambi x

Mine too is wine and being on-line for support. Bambi x

This was exactly how it was when T was in school hun and its very true how they bottle it all up and let rip to them nearest and dearest to them when released from school grounds, I would get attacked infront of other parents and in view of the teacher yet they still wanted to be ignorant. I know that once T is in a special school that this wont be happening because his needs will be addressed and a strong home/school relationship will be in place. Bambi x

I had a call from Ts Paed this afternoon and he was very pleased with how things went at the centre last week and he said that things will take time to get going but as the written report wont be with me for up to 6 weeks he said things will have to start moving now. He is going to phone the LEA special needs top man and inform him of Ts situation and how vital it is that his needs are addressed asap, also he will be phoning social services and telling them T needs to be on the Childrens Disabilities Services and that we are in need of urgent care. I love this man because without him we wouldnt be where we are today never met a medical professional with so much care and devotion for OUR needs. This is all i have ever wanted and after all the ignorance im hoping things can only get better and they should, i will keep u updated and thanks for being there because right now im on the brink of a breakdown. Bambi x

Im so sorry things are like this for u and i cant offer advice either sorry but i can send u these <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> T isnt at school and like u i had a battle for them to even recognise he was struggling along with terrible outbursts when he came out of school, it seems we are always in the wrong and we dont know whats best for our kids but WE DO and thats a fact!!!! Ts last school was his 3rd in this area (we have been here for less than 2 yrs) and i have to say they completely failed my sons needs and they really dont see the damage they are doing, i told the Head teacher that T was struggling she told me she doesnt think any child struggles with a nasty glare at me! well that said it all to me and i now realise no mainstream school can help my son and thank god the specialised centre agree a special school is needed for T, when that will happen tho god only knows! Hoping things can be sorted asap. Bambi x

Awww hun im so sorry this has happened and especially as the boy the son of ur friend, have u spoke with the parent to see why he has been excluded? and to expect a gift why should u bother?! sending u lots of hugs <'> T never gets invited to parties and he used to come out of school demanding he gets an invite like the other kids lots of times and like u i had to say they cant invite everyone but i know T knew he was NEVER invited to parties, he has only ever been invited to 1 party of a school friends and that was when he was in reception class 2 yrs ago since then nothing Thinking of u. Bambi x

Its a pleasant swear word tho Brook Bambi x

I have just been refused DLA (got letter 2 days ago) and i have just written my letter for the appeal (will post recorded delivery in the morn). I was disgusted coz they said T was not a danger to himself or others!!!!along with many other points that T actually does need help with, they obviously didnt even look at my form, i have to stop him self harming and harming others many times a day!! well i have given them what for and now i have a dx to come so they can shove that where the sun dont shine! This is what i dont get, it really is EVERYTHING that we need that seems to be a battle! i thought kids and OAPs were priority to the system/NHS and u would really think disabled/special needs kids would be very high up there too but as we know it really isnt the case Bambi x

I would like some help here too if anyone has any ideas T is very explicit in his behaviour at times and has always tried to touch private parts on myself and others, now he actually says the word sexing. During his little school yrs he has tried to chase kids to kiss them and has tried to pull their pants down another particular behaviour was actually noted by a teacher and the Ed Psych said he must have witnessed it whether he was ASD or not he had to of seen it!!! i was fuming!!! (T wanted to wee in another childs mouth and he told the child this infront of many kids and staff). I have always been concerned about this part of Ts behaviour and when he is displaying at school, on the buses, in town or on any outing (pulls his pants down in public to show everyone his bits) and at home. I will be worried like any devoted parent but it seems some professionals are quick to judge US. I was reported to Child Protection after having 2 visits questioning me as to whether T had been sexually abused or witnessed oral sex!!!!(the weeing in the mouth comment was being construed oral sex!!!) i had to right a lettter of complaint to LEA due to all this rubbish and it all came from an Ed Psych making a very unprofessional comment about something he has no clue about obviously!! I hope u can get somewhere here and i do understand ur concerns and i hope u find something that will help, take care <'> Bambi x

YES!!!! Very easily gets neglected while im in pc mode and even more so if T doesnt want me to talk or go near him Bambi x

I needed that giggle thanx BD Bambi x

I am so pleased for u that u now have answers and help will hopefully follow in the right care and attention ur daughter needs i have just got a diagnosis for my son last week and waiting for written confirmation now so i know how u must be feeling right now, sooooooooo many mixed emotions eh! Wishing u all the best hun <'> Bambi x