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Everything posted by mossgrove

  1. I do think that having AS can make someone more likely to want/need to be in control, but it isn't always the case. The wider world can be a bewildering place for anyone, but this is especially true for people with AS. Looking to control those things that you can control is a perfectly understandable reaction in the circumstances.
  2. Reading through this thread reminds me that online shopping has been a real step forward for people with Autism and their families. Simon
  3. I have been here for over 9 years with various incarnations of the forum software, and most threads havealways started to sink after a day or two. This is partly because it is a fairly busy forum. Most forums I know of where discussions can last for days ort even weeks have less traffic so a topic will stay close to the top of the list or much longer. Simon
  4. This topic has got way out of hand, so before I go any further I need to explain a few things about this forum. Out there on the internet there are many Autism-related forums. Some are relatively tightly moderated, some are not. The ones that have very little moderation are full of arguments betweem mods and posters, and between the members themselves. Many have had to shut down as the arguments became to intense and the forums became so dominated by them that they were unable to serve the purpose they were orginally created for. This is a privately run forum, run by it's owners who pay all of the costs themseves. The owners have an absolute right to runthe forum as they see fit, but having said that they barely intervene at all on a day to day basis. The forum has rules which are no different in character from those found on a great may forums. Ths forum is tightly moderated when necessary so discussions can take place and members can find support. If anyone wants to argue the philosphy of whether or not a forums owners and moderators have a right to have rules and apply them, please find another forum to have that debate on. The ban on discussions about self-harm and suicide is in place because people in danger of suicide or self harm need immediate professional help that this forum cannot provide. This ban is not negotiable and will not be changed, so there is not purpose to be served in debating it. If you desire to discuss such issues on a forum please do not do it here. Finally I find the idea that this forum is over-agressive in it's moderation ridiculous. There have been periods of several weeks at a time when no posts have been modified at all. The moderators here have busy lives and have better things to do that finding posts to moderate as some kind of ego trip and the idea that we are obsessed with over-agressive and inappropriate moderation is very wide of the mark. This thread will now be locked. If you have concerns about any of the forum rules, please undertake that discussion via pm. I will not allow this forum to sidetracked by people who wish to engage in unproductive debates about whether or not the forum should have rules, or whether the moderators have the right to moderate. Simon
  5. Not compliacted surely? I am being open about exactly how moderators here operate.
  6. Evening all! I am a little late to this thread so apologies! I have been a moderator on this forum for many years now, and as has been discussed elsewhere I am not as active as I used to be, and this applies to the other existing mods too, so we are all very grateful to the new moderators for stepping up to the plate. Please be patient as they settle into their new roles. It is important to remember that moderators are simply ordinary forum members. In the spirit openness I can say that in practical terms there are tow main differences between moderators and ordinary members: i. We have access to a private sub-forum for discussion of moderating issues that is occasionally active, but can sometimes be completely inactive for weeks on end, and ii.we have access to a few more options to edit, move or lock posts That is about it really. We all are all eiither Autistic ourselves or we have Autistic children. We came to the forum for the same reason you did and have the same pressure on out time. Sometimes we won't be around for a while or may take longer to get back to you than you would want, so please be gentle with us! Simon
  7. Just wanted to clarify the fact that the forum rules are not new, they have been in place for several years and are not significantly different from the rules you will find on many Internet forums, it is not new moderators new rules as has been suggested. The rule about not naming organisations has been in place all along. It is not aimed at organisations that are publically in the field of Austism, or helping people affected by autism such as IPSEA or the NAS, similarly referring to publicly available advice on the Internet is fine too. It gets more difficult when we are talking about individual schools, doctors teachers etc. when mentioning individuals is not allowed for two reasons. i. Confidentiality on private individuals on a public forum must be maintained, especially where mentioning a specific teacher or school may allow a child to be identified, and all such references will be removed by the moderators without exception. ii. The forum is privately run by a small number of individuals who pay for all the costs of running the forum (hence no advertising anywhere on the forum and no subscription fees). Anything that may give rise to legal action against the forum owners (e.g. criticisms of organisations or individuals that may libelous or otherwise damaging) will be removed as the owners may be personally liable if they are not. Rather than deciding on a case by case basis whether or not a particular comment is sufficiently inflammatory for the reference to be removed and have endless debates about it we have a clear simple rule that there should be no naming if individual schools, doctors, children, parents, hospitals, teachers etc. Feel free to pm if this is not clear! Simon
  8. Getting a diagnosis, especially after waiting a long time can release all kinds of emotions all at once. so be kind to yourself and let your feelings settle down. You may well be feeling euphoria at being vindicated if people have doubted you, relief at getting their, uncertainty and doubt at what the future holds, sadness that your child maybe won't have the life that you originally expected for her or you may simply be feeling overwhelmed. All of these are normal. The label on the diagnosis is far less important than the help it can unlock, so you should let the GP, school etc. know as soon as possible. Simon
  9. Welcome to the forum! I have four children, two of whom are on the Spectrum and attend a Secondary Special school. I wish you all the best in getting the right placement for your DD Simon
  10. Welcome to the forum. I am the part-time father of four children, two of whom are on the Autistic Spectrum. You will find plenty of advice and support here. Simon
  11. just caught up with this thread. The honest answer is that none of the Moderators are here all that much any more. I am member number 6 out of 19690 and have been here for more than 9 years during which there have been many changes in my life, and I haven't been able to find much time for this forum in the last couple of years. See my 'Moderators Needed' post in General discussion for more information! Simon
  12. As you may know, this forum is made possible by the generosity of the site owners who pay for all the costs associated with running the site, which is why there are no adverts etc. to be seen anywhere on this forum. To keep the forum running on a day to day basis there are a team of volunteer moderators, of which I am one. All the moderators started as ordinary users of this forum and we help by keeping an eye on what is going on and editing posts etc. when forum rules are broken, and occasionally stepping in when things get out of hand, which is thankfully a very rare occurrence. The current moderating team have been in place for several years now, and through changes in our own lives we are finding that we are not on the forum nearly as much as we used to be, so the time has now come to appoint some new moderators. There are no specific skills or experience required. other than common sense and a willingness to spend time on the forum, so if you feel you may be able to contribute, please get on touch with Lufty or myself, we will be happy to answer any questions you may have. Kind Regards Simon
  13. Just to let you all know that I have removed a thread from this forum. while the thread did not contain a direct threat by anyone to kill themselves, suicide is not an appropriate subject for discussion on this forum, and anyone who is having thoughts of suicide should seek urgent professional help. Simon
  14. I am not sure of your history, but you may have rushed to judge the college. Many people with autism require additonal support which costs money to provide, and a diagosis often unlocks funding, but I am not sure it is fair to say they like it because it absolves tutors from blame. Our experiences with out local NHS, CAMHS etc. have been positive, but in any areas people have been less lucky. That said, things may get more difficult as our Autistic Children reach adulthood. The squeeze on resources (especially in a recession) makes things more difficult but there are many good and caring people out there too. Simon
  15. Hi Amanda I have a 14 year old son too, with Aspergers, ADHD, anxiety and Dyspraxia, and I know how challenging it can be when puberty hits! Looking forward to exchanging experiences with you. Simon
  16. Hi Theresa I certainly do remember you, it is amaxing how quickly the years go by! So glad to hear that K is making such a success of his life after some difficult times Simon
  17. Hi Anita Welcome to the forum, you have come to the right place. As Tally says, take your time to think it all through, and feel free to ask us questions when you are ready. Simon
  18. Your doctor will be used to speaking to people who feel they have reached breaking point, it is a normal part of his day to day job. Admitting that you are not coping is the all-important first step to recovery. Simon
  19. It is probably time to clear up a few misunderstandings here. This is a private forum run at their own expense by the forum owners, according to the rules set out for everyone to see. They pay for it themselves which is a fantastic gesture, and this is the reason the forum has no subscription fees or advertising. On a day to day basis the forum is looked after by the moderators. There is simply no need for the owners to be answerable to any higher authority, or for the moderators to tolerate what is, to be frank, mod baiting.We all do this job for nothing in our own time, and we are not some kind of intellectual plaything to be talked about as if wee are not there. As this thread has run it's course it will now be closed. Simon
  20. As a big bad moderator I thought I would mention that threads are not closed lightly and most of the time it is because people have started arguing and the original point of the thread has got lost. At that point it isn't usually worth engaging in a protracted debate about whose fault it was which is why I have moderated one of the comments in this thread. It is usually best to close the offending thread, give everyone time to calm down and move on which is more or less what happened here. Simon
  21. Best of luck tomorrow Simon x
  22. I have only just caught up with this thread after being away from the forum for a few days. I am really sorry to hear your terrible news. My thoughts are with you and your family at this difficult time. Simon
  23. Violent antisocial behaviour is not an appropriate topic for discussion on this forum, that should be dealt with via professional help as nobody here is qualified to give advice on such a difficult issue. As one thread on this topic has already been closed, this one is being closed too. Simon
  24. mossgrove


    I wouldn't go as far as saying someone should not use melatonin as it has worked wonders for our son, it was prescribed for him by his consultant taking all factors into consideration. It is generally considered to be pretty safe for most people. The short answer to the original question is that melatonin is prescription-only in the UK and cannot legally be sold by mail order. In the USA melatonin is a freely available drug sold 'over the counter' and can probably be mail ordered. Simon
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