brooke Report post Posted March 2, 2007 Hi everyone Recently i have noticed my son getting cross with me!!!! I can be quite sarcastic (i cant help it!!) and he just doesnt get it. IE: the other day i asked him to help me tidy and instead he threw stuff on the floor (sound familier anyone!) anyway i said "thanks for that O that really helped" and he was like NOOOOOOOO thanks means if you did something good(which he is right). Ahhhh so now im having to think before i speak as i dont want to confuse him anymore!! What are your children like do you think he will learn if someone is sarcastic to him. Just wondered really. Brooke Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bagpuss Report post Posted March 2, 2007 Both my dd's don't understand sarcasm either Brooke. We've had to tailor what we say, and think twice before saying anything. They will also take what we say literally.....ie laughing his head off Jokes can be another tricky one....eldest dd quite often tells me jokes which make no sense at all, although she will get very obvious ones Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Clareo2003 Report post Posted March 2, 2007 Yeah my son is the same, and he takes eerything literal too and if we tell him a joke we have to explain it over and over so then its not a joke anymore.... bless them Clare x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KarenT Report post Posted March 2, 2007 J's getting quite good with sarcasm, metaphor etc, but how well he can cope with it very much depends on his mood at the time. If he's a bit agitated and I say "Oh, well that's just great!" or something he'll flip, but if he's calm he'll say "That's sarcasm, that is!" and be very proud of himself. That said, he's not picked it up from background conversations but has been actively taught it, iykwim. We also recently worked through the What Did You Say, What Did You Mean book and discussed metaphors and literal interpretation at length, and he really enjoyed that. So much so he's dipped into it himself a few times. Would really recommend that book. Karen x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mumble Report post Posted March 2, 2007 I'm an adult with AS - I really struggle with metaphors, and some use of sarcasm, jokes etc. But as Karen says, it is very much mood dependent - get me when I'm stressed, worried etc and you've little hope of me understanding (unfortunately it is at times when I am stressed which can manifest in what others see as 'behavioural issues' that people are often most sarcastic) - and this of course then makes the problem/stress etc. much worse . Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
brooke Report post Posted March 2, 2007 thanks everyone i will have to try that book karen. I do notice when o is on his gameboy and cant do it and is getting upset i alway say its alright and he goes balistic because to him its not alright. Ive learnt not to say anthing!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hev Report post Posted March 2, 2007 my steve is always very sarcastic to me so yes steve definately understands sarcasm Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
phoebe Report post Posted March 2, 2007 DS definintely doesn't understand sarcasm at the moment - glad to hear that they may get there though! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
UltraMum Report post Posted March 2, 2007 DS had problems so we tailored our language and avoided metaphors, idioms and sarcasm, as well as teasing etc ... now he's 10 going on 11 we are starting to include these as he is now more aware that sometimes things are not literal - if he's puzzled he usually asks ... I used to think we were always going to have to use bland language but things do change Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
oxgirl Report post Posted March 2, 2007 My Jay loves sarcasm!! He isn't always totally sure, and will just pause for a sec and have a think sometimes, or sometimes he'll check with me and say, 'you're being sarcastic, right?', but it always makes him smile and he really enjoys it. He uses it himself quite a lot, but it has taken him a while to get the hang of it. I think he picks a lot of sarcastic speech up from cartoons, i.e. Fairly Odd Parents, the kid on that is quite sarcy!! Hahahahahaha, OMG, while I'm typing this I can here him downstairs!! He just said to his Dad, 'well, lucky you!', Dad replied accordingly and Jay said, 'I know, I was being sarcastic'!! Hahahaha, talk about timing! ~ Mel ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
curra Report post Posted March 2, 2007 My ds is TOO sarcastic. He used to be very literal when he was younger, then suddenly he began to use irony and sarcasm which he picked up at school. He can be funny at times but he also uses sarcasm to talk back and be cheeky. In a way I think he's like any NT teenager, but it worries me a bit that he can get very hurtful with his sarcasm Curra Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TheNeil Report post Posted March 2, 2007 I think that sarcasm, if properly used, can actually be a great weapon for someone with an ASD. You can get away with saying some really honest and downright nasty things but, because they're said sarcastically, people don't always realise that you're actually having a go at them. Or maybe that's just me Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Brook Report post Posted March 2, 2007 Yep, here to, my son is starting to understand 'certain sarcasm', but he never uses sarcasm I dont think he knows how to IYKWIM. One example that really sticks in my mind is, he was talking about poo and he was saying all sorts of horrible little boy things about it, I then said sarcastically "oh that's charming", he then looked at me quite puzzled and said "dont you mean it's UNcharming"....... Brook Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
fairynormal Report post Posted March 3, 2007 I have to be mindful of what I say to Isaac as he often doesn't understand what I mean. He rarely gets jokes and the ones that he does get (usually because I have explained them to him) he will laugh at and repeat ad nauseum!! he does get sarcasm sometimes but again, that is because I have tried to explain the concept to him. He does still get muddled and often struggles with metaphores and literal language. It's part of his charm though! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kirstie Report post Posted March 3, 2007 Lewis finds sarcasm and some jokes quite amusing, i think it's the actual word sarcasm, and the sound of it he likes if that makes any sense. When you say something sarcastic to him you can see his mind working for a moment before he smiles so he does have to think about it first but he's getting there. We are of coarse getting the endless "knock knock" rubbish jokes that he finds hilarious particularly if he's made them up himself. Lews being taught the meaning of sayings in school from his SALt like what it means when someone says "get your skates on" and "flying off the handle" he understands the meanings now but still finds the sayings themselves funny. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KarenT Report post Posted March 3, 2007 I've trained J into sarcasm with very obvious examples. Eg, if he asks me what I'm doing (when I'm doing something very obvious, like cleaning the toilet) I'll say "I'm just teaching this giraffe to tap-dance" and he loves it. I guess it's easier to understand very ridiculous examples of sarcasm, and the fine-tuning will come later. We also try teasing him too, so that he can get used to it in the safety of his family. Every time I do, and he gets it, I'll say "That was kind teasing, wasn't it?" so that he'll gradually learn the difference between teasing between friends and teasing intended to hurt. Hell's teeth, it's complicated, isn't it?! Karen x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Faithnomore Report post Posted March 3, 2007 DS1 understands most sarcasm, but then I use it quite alot so I think he's learned to understand it and also like Oxgirl's lad he watches things like Fairly odd parents. I think he finds jokes difficult, he doesn't get the jokes in the Andrex ads at the mo - mum how can you step in a poodle? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
butterfingersbimbo Report post Posted March 3, 2007 el is learning sarcasm from me, and i'm a good teacher! but she still doesnt get things and like has been said if she is stressed she can get very annoyed by it.....and can also be very cutting herself..... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
llisa32 Report post Posted May 11, 2007 Just found this thread and it did make me laugh.. J has really struggled with sarcasm but we've made a pretty concerted effort to help him get to grips with it as we're all frequent users However....instead of retorting something back he will stand there with his arms folded and in a very reprimanding way say ''I know you're using sarcasm!.....aren't you?' - you sort of start to feel like a naughty kid Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rach04 Report post Posted May 12, 2007 j doesnt understand it either or things like "who got out of the wrong side of the bed" and "shoes on the other foot" even tho i use them quite abit it wasnt till he was tested for asd that she brought this up Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kate26 Report post Posted May 12, 2007 My daughter does not understand sarcasm either. She takes everything you say literally. One day she was quite fidgity and without thinking I asked if she had ants in her pants, (which is something my mum used to say to me.) She became hysterical. Screaming, and crying saying, no ants, no ants. It took ages to calm her down. I am a lot more careful with what expressions I use now Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MelowMeldrew Report post Posted May 12, 2007 Mine doesn't understand it, or gets many jokes either. He would say why is that funny ? or don't say that ! he can get quite angry if you persist with ribbing even if done in a fun way, things HAVE to be black and white or he gets very annoyed ! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lynyona Report post Posted May 12, 2007 Kieran doesnt get sarcasm so i try not to use it lol as because he doesnt get it he goes on to analyse every word which makes it a drawn out process Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
smiley Report post Posted May 12, 2007 M's beginning to. Probably helped because i can be a lil sarcastic monkey myself... We also recently worked through the What Did You Say, What Did You Mean book and discussed metaphors and literal interpretation at length, and he really enjoyed that. So much so he's dipped into it himself a few times. Would really recommend that book. Karen x This book has really helped too - it's a great one to read through and have a giggle together. Though, usually - his sarcastic comments are at completely the wrong time and end up being not quite as amusing as he was hoping, lol! We're getting there Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Shnoing Report post Posted May 12, 2007 ... the other day i asked him to help me tidy and instead he threw stuff on the floor (sound familier anyone!) anyway i said "thanks for that O that really helped" and he was like NOOOOOOOO thanks means if you did something good ... Well that would have been my answer, too. I'm 36 and I still don't get it immediately - I need some time to think about the real meaning. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Elly Report post Posted May 12, 2007 My daughter does not understand sarcasm either. She takes everything you say literally. One day she was quite fidgity and without thinking I asked if she had ants in her pants, (which is something my mum used to say to me.) She became hysterical. Screaming, and crying saying, no ants, no ants. It took ages to calm her down. I am a lot more careful with what expressions I use now We had this sort of problem when our son was coughing one day. We asked if he had a frog in his throat and he went into an absolute panic. As he gets older he is more aware of sarcasm etc, but we are always careful to explain things he does not get. Fairly Odd Parents is great for this and our son loves it. Keeps smilin Elly Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
oxgirl Report post Posted May 12, 2007 Fairly Odd Parents is great for this and our son loves it. Yep, Fairly Odd Parents is a great teacher!! It also features the long, slow stare with the single raised eyebrow that my lad is now perfecting!! ~ Mel ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
