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Bambi

I give up

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I wont be around for god knows how long guys i cant take it anymore, i know im close to breaking and feel myself slipping deeper & deeper into a not so nice place :(

 

Im getting no help nothing maybe when T or myself end up in a complete mess help will come but it will be too late then but who cares? no one cares, thats the bottom line and i have to get use to it. I do know tho that i cant live like this anymore coz i will end up in such a mess i wont be able to care for T then he will end up in care, i bet social services are there in my face & home then!

 

Oh well im a nobody and its not important that my son has a lifelong disability so we can rot away for more years to come.

 

Take care.

 

Bambi x

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Please don't go, Bambi >:D<<'>

 

We all need support more than ever during the black times, and you're not alone hun >:D<<'> >:D<<'>

 

Bid >:D<<'>

Edited by bid

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Bambi,

I know its really, really hard but please dont let anyone or anything make you feel this way. Social services should hang their heads in shame for the way you and your family have been treated have been treated. Please make a formal complaint. I know its the last thing you want to do but it will make them sit up and take notice.

Im in the middle of doing this and we are now on stage 2 which means all records etc have to be examined by an independant person. Im only being held together by pure anger and moral outrage. The system stinks and more people are being failed and left to get on with it.

Please dont give up, if you need any moral support pm me.

Lorainexx

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Bambi >:D<<'> >:D<<'> >:D<<'> >:D<<'> I know well how you feel, it's really hard when there's no help and you are left alone to deal with it. Hang in there, you are a very important Someone, you are T's Mum and he needs you. We care for you and are here to help you . Please don't go. If SS is failing you (like they often do) then write a letter of complaint to them.

I've also found more support from the GP and a local support group than from SS.

 

Curra

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Oh Bambi, WE care, really we do, WE think you're important and we're here to help and support you. We can't do anything physically to help, but please stay with us so that we can at least be your moral supporters. >:D<<'> >:D<<'> >:D<<'> >:D<<'>

 

~ Mel ~

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Hi Bambi,

 

I've read your post and your lil lad has the same difficulties my son has, it's really hard work he's a T too. Your son needs you and loves you even though he may not be showing it.

 

I think even though it's time consuming you need to write a complaint to s/s. I've been there and we now get 9 hours a week respite, honestly you really do need to bang on their doors.

 

Can you ask to have a multi agency meeting where all the professionals get together and work out who is going to help you with what. Maybe go to your paed and let him see how much all this is getting to you and he/she can put a referall in to social services for respite/help in home etc.

 

Take care and really I hope you get some help soon, post when you feel like posting but please don't go for good, you have people here who will listen, offer advice I know it's not alot but it's better than having noone. I know been there too.

 

Sending you a cyber hug >:D<<'>

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Bambi, sending you a ((((((((hug))))))

 

don't give up, keep fighting SS, to get the help needed.

 

and you need places like this forum

 

when your down and struggling, to give you moral support,

 

don't leave when you need it most xxxxxx

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>:D<<'> >:D<<'> Bambi >:D<<'> >:D<<'>

I don't know you, but please stay, this forum is full of support, even when it seems no body else if listening, we do care on here as so many of use have been & are still going though it >:D<<'>

Have you thought of telling your GP how down you feel to, they may be able to help, they may not, but its worth a try. I apologise if you have already seen your GP, I have only just returned to this site,( not on purpose, i forgot some log in details & I did miss the support , just knowing other are going through similar things is a great help to me ) so not up to date with things.

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I wont be around for god knows how long guys i cant take it anymore, i know im close to breaking and feel myself slipping deeper & deeper into a not so nice place :(

 

Im getting no help nothing maybe when T or myself end up in a complete mess help will come but it will be too late then but who cares? no one cares, thats the bottom line and i have to get use to it. I do know tho that i cant live like this anymore coz i will end up in such a mess i wont be able to care for T then he will end up in care, i bet social services are there in my face & home then!

 

Oh well im a nobody and its not important that my son has a lifelong disability so we can rot away for more years to come.

 

Take care.

 

Bambi x

 

 

Hi Bambi, I am new here but would like to say dont go as i have found great support here in the couple of days i have been here, my situation is a little different to yours but i do know how low you get to feel (had to come home from work yesterday as just kept crying, gonna take some time off sick to get myself together) i know its hard try and be strong people do care and understand.

 

 

Mrs Fussy x

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Bambi, huge hugs >:D<<'> >:D<<'>

 

We may be cyber mates, but we are all here to listen, and help if we can. Please don't leave :tearful:

 

Have you told your GP how you are feeling? They may be able to offer you some help....mine did. Do you have any local support groups which you could go to?

 

You are not alone and will be thinking of you >:D<<'>

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Hi Bambi

 

I hope that you dont leave here, you are a very strong mum who has had to go throw a lot to get some answers to what was really going on with your son, you have given me a lot of inspiration and admiration because you have followed your heart with your sons difficulties and you never gave up and you sort the right people to assess and diagnose and you got there throw with your own determination that your son would recieve the right diagnosis and that takes courage and grit to get throw all those other services that just didnt listen.

 

You have to look at how far you have come, how much you have already given to your son, and even in the hardest time your not blaming him or yourself you know that what you need is support, a listening ear, and services for all the family, and with our help and others here going throw the process we can help you make it clear that you need help now.

 

complain to as many people as possible, and go all the way, express the anguish that your so tired and drained parenting a child with complex special needs, and that you and your child need some practical assistance.

 

Mp, the manager of the social services of childrens disabilties team, and so on, keep fighting, and making it very detailed of the difficulties you have, why you need the help and what the alternatives are which costs the system so much more in the end.

 

I have had very difficult times in my past and It made one thing clear, giving up causes so much more destress to ourselves and our children, and its not worth it, we have no choice but to carry on and just make it clear as possible that we are very disattisfied with the level of support from our services.

 

You can pm me anytime and your always welcome to come on the posts if you need someone to talk to, so hopefully see you soon, I would be sad to see you give up, it would be a terrible shame.

 

JsMum

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Bambi has asked me to pass on her thanks to everyone for their messages and hugs, she has been reading them but can't log on at the moment. She has made a second complaint to ss as the first complaint was dismissed with pathetic answers and reasons as to why they were't recieving any support. She has got a meeting with her MP on 30/3 so, fingers crossed they will help get things moving for her a T.

She is takig a break but will be back when she feels stronger and life gets easier, which I hope will be soon.

She really does appreciate everyones support.

 

Bambi, >:D<<'> I really do hope things get easier soon.

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hi marshmallow will you be able to give us an update on how bambi is getting on. I just read her post and hope she gets the help she needs. sending loads of >:D<<'> and keeping my fingers crossed

 

opheila

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I understand that things are really difficult for you bambi and just because your not here posting we will be thinking about you and sending you loads of these >:D<<'> >:D<<'> >:D<<'> >:D<<'> just dont let the b## t##ds (SSD) win you can do this, your fab and we love you here.

 

You know where we are if you need anybody to talk to, and my email is on my profile so just email me if you want to, I so hope that you can get throw this as your too valuable for the system to take yet another family.

 

hugs, love and TLC.

 

JsMum

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Oh bambi, desperatley wanted to reply yesterday but was having trouble getting on.

So sorry to hear you are having such a tough time at the moment, i really hope things improve fast for you >:D<<'> >:D<

its dreadful how the system is letting you down, please take some comfort in knowing we are all here for you whenever you need to let off steam, pm me whenever,

lots of love going out to you and yours x peppa x

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bambi,sorry im late to this >:D<<'> >:D<<'> hope you are ok today,i know how hard it is,its horrendous at times in fact,try to keep strong,we are here waiting for when you are ready to return >:D<<'> >:D<<'>

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I had tears reading ur messages guys :crying: and i couldnt log in to reply so i asked marshmallow to reply for me thanx hun ;)

 

I know we all have our battles and live pure sheer hell at times (well a lot of the time!) and when the going gets tough and ur worn down it all takes its toll and it has with me :( i just feel like im gonna drop, mentally & physically i have had all i can take.

 

I have the SW coming on tuesday morn and i do hope she is ready for what i have to throw at her along with how T will lose it with her, i dont even have wishful think what i know he will do to her B) i wonder whether she will tell me she is scared of my son like the last SW did a year ago when she came to my home, only to then tell me they cant help as T has no dx :angry:

 

I have made another complaint and not a nice one to the head of SS as they did try to fob me off without answering my issues & concerns, im sorry but its not good enough! i asked for help while sat in their offices crying that i find it hard to keep T safe (he went to throw himself in front of a car) :( and they told me point blank NO! so why when police come to my home do the allocate me a SW a week after their visit? if its nothing to do with the police (thats what they have told me nothing to do with police visit) and T still had no dx at this point (22nd Feb SW was allocated, T got dx on 1st March) i demand answers and reasons as to why MY own concerns were not good enough a year ago! they do make my blood boil!

 

Im seeing my MP on Friday 30th and i cant ###### wait!

 

Thanks for all the kids words and support guys really appreciate it :)

 

Bambi x

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hello bambi >:D<<'> >:D<<'> so pleased you back on here,you give the social worker what for,im gonna when i see mine wednesday,we are crying out for help and they have got to help us,keep strong

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Awww bless ya hev >:D<<'> >:D< >:D<<'> >:D< and good luck hun and yep we will have to give them what for coz this is criminal how they are dismissing our needs!

 

Will be thinking of ya ;)

 

Bambi x

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>:D<<'> >:D<<'> >:D<<'> >:D<<'> >:D<<'>

Oh Bambi, its so good to hear from you, I have been desparate to reply to your original thread but could not log on until today. My heart goes out to you, I know what a terrible time you have had and how unhelpful SS have been. I have found the forum to be a God send, the people on here seems to be the only ones who truly understand what its like, I know it does not resolve the problems but to me it really helps to know I am not alone and that I can let off steam on how I am feeling and my frustrations without being judged. If there is anything I can do let me know. Please don't go away we all need each other.

Good luck with your meeting this week.

Clare x >:D<<'> >:D<<'> >:D<<'> >:D<<'>

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:thumbs::thumbs::thumbs: I am a very happy lady, to know your fighting back and back here, phew, so pleased to

see you posting so relieved, :dance: told you where a tuff cookie, see ya tomorrow have a good nights sleep, and sending you some more energy vibes.

;)

JsMum

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Hi bambi tried to reply earlier but was having trouble logging on . Good luck with sw tomorrow . Give um a good ear bashing.

Stay strong >:D<<'> >:D<<'> >:D<<'>

Dolly xx

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I hope things go well for you. All the best, David.

 

Also rememeber just how well you've done to get this far. I'm not sure I would have managed it. :notworthy::notworthy::notworthy:

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Good luck today, make sure you keep notes of everything said. I wrote a brief synopsis of what had happened so far when I made my complaint to SS and presented it to them when they arrived. It put them on on the back foot (they didnt bother to bring any notes) and was very empowering for me. I wasnt happy with the answers and excuses I got and I am going onto stage 2 of the complaints procedure.

Try to stay calm, make them aware you can go to the local Government Ombudsman. I never complain about anything but sometimes you have to bite the bullet and go for it.

Good luck and let us know how it goes

Lorainex

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