i tried to admit myself

[hev]

i couldnt take it any more,steven was calling me vile names and standing over me for nearly four hours,wouldnt let me go upstairs,kept blocking them hes massive and evertime he went passed he punched me,in the end i just started punching myself in the head and all over my arms,i just wanted it to go away all this pain,i called the emerg doctor and asked them to take me to a psyciatric unit but at that point nick come in from work and took the phone and said he could deal with me,theres no help out there for me,ive tried to pick myself up but its no good,i cant stop crying,social services wouldnt care if i killed myself,im nothing to them,i hate the lot of them,cahms,lea the lot of them are a waste of space,ive begged for help for years,what you meant to do if its not there.

 

we were fine till he slept at mums for 2 nights then when he got back all hell,hes not to go up there no more,thats no ecxuse though,im his mother,i really felt like hitting him but i hit myself instead,if i hit him i would end up in a fight with my son,maybe i should have called the police but they would have put him in a cell for the night then what,same old thing.

 

going to docs tomorrow,need some more tablets,i dont care if they make me stay in bed all day,i dont want to get up anymore

[mum22boys]

Oh Hev <'> <'> <'>

 

I am so sorry life is so tough. Please don't punish yourself, it is not you that is the bad person here it is this so called system.

 

I really don't have advice but your post worried me so much. Go to your GP tomorrow, tell him everything, you can't carry on like this.

 

You are a good person that is just wanting help for your son and yourself, that is not wrong.

 

Don't give up, feel proud of yourself that you have such great self control that you didn't take it out on him.

 

Are you ok? Are you still logged on?

 

mum22boys

[Bagpuss]

Oh Hev, I'm so sorry, wish I could help in some way <'> <'> <'>

[bevalee]

Hev <'> >< <'>

 

I've pm'd you.

[bid]

Oh Hev <'> <'> <'>

 

Just try and hang in there, hun...we're all behind you <'>

 

Bidxx

[Gus]

There's nothing to say to make you feel better, just take care of yourself <'>

[Kathryn]

Hev

 

<'> <'> <'>

 

K x

[ellisisamazing]

Hev,

 

I feel for you, so much. I will thinking of you and really hope that you get the help and support you need.

 

There is always somebody here you can vent to, please remember that.

 

<'>

 

Lisa xxxxxxxxxx

[pearl]

Oh Hev. <'>

One of my friends has a son v similar, she reached rock bottom too but things improved soooo much when he got a residential place. She felt like she got her life back. Lets hope the offers you had work out & that he gets the help he needs there, & you get a chance to recover.

[Flora]

hev <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'>

[baddad]

sorry, hen <'>

hope things are looking better soon

[JenRose]

hev im so sorry that you are feeling like this.

you have put up with so much and have been so strong im not surprised that you are feeling low.

i sincerely hope that you get the placement for steve asap and you can all have a well needed break.

sending you hugs

jenrose

xx

[Bambi]

Awww hun <'> >< <'> >< <'>

 

I feel for u too and i can relate, i hope & pray u get some help QUICKLY!

 

I too have been to my GP this morn as i dont feel i can carry on a lot of days and i got some ADs, i like u i dont want to do it most days and want to run away, but we cant

 

Please take care of urself and keep us posted that u are ok, please? <'>

 

Thinking of u.

 

Bambi x

[stressedmumto2]

Only just seen this now, How are you feeling now Hev?

 

I don't know what to suggest but just wanted to send you some pv's and hugs <'> <'> <'>

 

Take Care <'> <'> <'>

[David Matthew Baker]

I hope things get better soon. Hopefully one of the residential schools will come up trumps. Thinking of you, David. <'> <'> <'> <'> <'>

[dolly]

Hope things went well at gps today <'> <'> <'> <'>

 

 

Dolly xx

[phoebe]

hev

How are you?

Where are you?

How utterly awful for you.

Hope that you have managed to get something sorted out today/that the doc was helpful/that it hasn't been such a bad day.

Thinking of you

Love and hugs

Phoebe

[hev]

went to the docs,he put me on diazepan for a week to take the edge off he said,still on my normal anti ds,cant believe i got so low that i was gonna admit myself,feel lot better today,thank god,never want to feel like that again

[phoebe]

<'> <'> <'> <'> <'>

take care of you

[elun1]

<'> <'> Just read this Hev. Hope you're Ok, thinking about you

Elun xxx <'> <'>

[krystaltps]

Hope the diazepam helps, Hev. <'> <'> <'> .

[Bagpuss]

Thinking of you Hev <'>

[Noetic]

Please stop blaming yourself, he is out of control and even though you now know part of what causes his rages, you do NOT deserve this

 

I really hope you can find somewhere safe for him to go because hard though it may be when a kid gets that violent and aggressive NO SANE PERSON ON EARTH is going to blame you for not being able to cope.

[Frangipani]

Hev <'> <'> <'> <'>

[pearl]

How are you today hun?

[hev]

i took 2 diazepan yesterday and im absolutely exhausted today,ive got no energy to go out and thats not like me,do you think they have zonked me out a bit too much?

[Guest Lya of the Nox]

sounds it

what did the script say?? you should follow it!! and if you think it too much take a wee bit less

but you may need it right nows

x

[pearl]

i took 2 diazepan yesterday and im absolutely exhausted today,ive got no energy to go out and thats not like me,do you think they have zonked me out a bit too much?

Could be the stress as well hun. Have a duvet day if you can.

[JsMum]

i took 2 diazepan yesterday and im absolutely exhausted today,ive got no energy to go out and thats not like me,do you think they have zonked me out a bit too much?

 

It can make you feel very drowsy and subdude, diazapan is a tranquilizer and it shuts down the nervous system, it can cause some to become achy because you are finally resting when without them your tence and stiff.

 

it sounds like exhaustion as well, if the dose is anything more than 10mg then it could be too much too quick, so it may be a good idea to reduce the dose as time goes by and you catch up on sleep and rest.

 

the after effects sometimes are worse than the issues that accured before you took them so it may seem like you feel worse at the moment but it will wear off if you take care of yourself.

 

they can make you feel very spacey and out of it.

 

I personally dont think medication is always the answer and its a sign of the times that the system wants to take away the symptoms and not look at the causes.

 

Take care of yourself as much as you can and I really do hope that the support come quicker because that is the cure, support is the prevention.

 

JsMum

[hev]

i just looked at the packet it said take one when needed i thought it said 2 so thats why im exhausted!!feel very out of it,havent took one today,i wouldnt be able to move if i did!!

[Guest Lya of the Nox]

ooops

ahh well now u know how strong they are for u

xx

[zaman]

What happened to the emergency placement you were told that he would be getting after he got arrested? (Forgve me if I missed that bit, but I thought it had been sorted . . . )

[hev]

social services say they cannot find any suitable respite carers for him,they reckon they are still looking,to behonest ive given up hope with any authorities helping us,maybe if i dont keep getting my hopes up when they say they gonna help then i wont get that horrible disapointed feeling when no help comes

[JsMum]

social services say they cannot find any suitable respite carers for him,they reckon they are still looking,to behonest ive given up hope with any authorities helping us,maybe if i dont keep getting my hopes up when they say they gonna help then i wont get that horrible disapointed feeling when no help comes

oh hev its not fair what they are doing, they shouldnt be promising to help you and then not forfilling it, Its not on at all, I really feel for you and it must be so disheartening for you and stevie.

 

Hugs and love keep as well as your capable, I am going to pray that some luck comes your way.

 

JsMum

[jessie]

oh hev its not fair what they are doing, they shouldnt be promising to help you and then not forfilling it, Its not on at all, I really feel for you and it must be so disheartening for you and stevie.

 

Hugs and love keep as well as your capable, I am going to pray that some luck comes your way.

 

JsMum

[jessie]

oops, that didn't quite work.

I haven't been online much lately Hev and just wanted to say sorry things have been so bad. Hope the meds help and try and get lots of sleep. I keep telling myself when things are bad to try and just get throught it as best as i can as they are usually better the next day, mainly because they have long since moved on which although frustrating for us is just how it is....

 

take care Hev.

 

jessie

[Noetic]

social services say they cannot find any suitable respite carers for him,they reckon they are still looking,to behonest ive given up hope with any authorities helping us,maybe if i dont keep getting my hopes up when they say they gonna help then i wont get that horrible disapointed feeling when no help comes

What about residential placements? I know you love him to bits but whatever is going on in his head right now is making him do so many things that are hurtful and violent and distasteful... he can't help it I guess, but you BOTH need to be allowed to take a step back and recover... You both deserve that chance... I just wish there was somehting we could do...

Edited May 5, 2007 by Noetic

[smiley]

Oh Hev <'>

 

I hope the tabs help a little (if not, bung 'em my way! ).

Make sure you get your GP to write a letter to back up how difficult this is for you and how stressed S is...

 

<'> <'>

[Noetic]

I just read a book called "The Asperger Plus Child" about kids with AS plus other things like Bipolar, ODD, OCD and so on, plus differential diagnosis of AS vs. HFA, TS and ADD. The section about AS + Bipolar describes this kind of thing, this rage, to a T. It even explains how these rages are almost exactly like seizures, and are often accompanied by the same symptoms such as "auras", heightened sensory sensitivity, "blanking out" and being extremely tired once the rage has passed.

 

I'd seriously recommend this to anyone whose AS child is experiencing rages of such a disproportionate level, especially ones where there is no "autism-typical" trigger such as sensory problems or language comprehension involved. http://www.asperger.net/bookstore_9976.htm

 

(I got it for about �13 from www.bookdepository.co.uk - http://www.bookdepository.co.uk/WEBSITE/WW...?id=1931282331)

[JsMum]

I just read a book called "The Asperger Plus Child" about kids with AS plus other things like Bipolar, ODD, OCD and so on, plus differential diagnosis of AS vs. HFA, TS and ADD. The section about AS + Bipolar describes this kind of thing, this rage, to a T. It even explains how these rages are almost exactly like seizures, and are often accompanied by the same symptoms such as "auras", heightened sensory sensitivity, "blanking out" and being extremely tired once the rage has passed.

 

I'd seriously recommend this to anyone whose AS child is experiencing rages of such a disproportionate level, especially ones where there is no "autism-typical" trigger such as sensory problems or language comprehension involved. http://www.asperger.net/bookstore_9976.htm

 

(I got it for about �13 from www.bookdepository.co.uk - http://www.bookdepository.co.uk/WEBSITE/WW...?id=1931282331)

 

Neotic I think you have raised a very good book here, the bipolar is very interesting especially with the seizuere type signs I will look out for it, the bipolar is very interesting and I can see why you have commented on it because if a child is undiagnosed with this, it could be that there not taking the right medication and getting the right support, Hev your son really should be having a CPN and having support at home, when he starts residential I would recommend a cpn when he is on home visits.

 

CPN:

Commuminty Pyschiartict Nurse

 

JsMum

Edited May 6, 2007 by JsMum