steves been suspended

[hev]

school just phoned,steve smashed a window with his fist and before that a boy was getting told off,nothing to do with steven and he ran at the teacher and kicked them really hard.

his review appt is 30 april which is the end of his assessment period anyway,we both got to go in then to see if hes passed the assessment,i dont think so,so hes home now till then

its one thing after another,ive had it tonight,i will bounce back,always do,but atm im gutted

have had a cry,just had it really

[Kathryn]

Oh hev <'>

 

How long is the suspension for?

 

K x

[Bagpuss]

Hev, I'm so sorry to read this....I've only just read how Steve has apologised to Nick, and thought things had turned a corner

 

Take care hun <'> <'> <'>

[hev]

until 30th april,im going to log off for a while,just gonna go downstairs and take deep breaths,feel a bit panicky,will be ok though,should be used to it by now eh

[Enid]

until 30th april,im going to log off for a while,just gonna go downstairs and take deep breaths,feel a bit panicky,will be ok though,should be used to it by now eh

Oh, Hev, Thats really bad news, so so sorry to hear, at least you got some respite while he was there. Be thinking of you all. Enid.

[bid]

Oh hun <'>

 

Take care <'>

 

Bidxx

[dooday24]

hi hev so sorry to hear hes been suspended sending u loads of <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'>

 

lots of love donnaxxxxxxxxx

[ASue67]

Just wanted to send you some hugs <'> <'>

[baddad]

<'>

[mossgrove]

<'> >< <'>

 

Simon

[JsMum]

Oh No Hev, has there been anything in place for him at home, if he has assualted a member of staff in a special school and suspended him for this are going to cope with him, I would be requesting an urgent Multie Agency meeting, as I remember the post where he had punched you because you asked him to turn the music down, do you think it is steve trying to sabatise the placement, he has to understand full force violence will be looked at very serious because they have to protect staff and other children in the placement, what does Steve want, does he understand that he really is exhausting all avenues of support, this school sounds really good, probably the best he could attend, why is he resorting to hurting and breaking when he has the specialised school to support him, I am fighting to get J into a school like stevies, does he understand that he has great oportunities and that working out ways to deal with what ever made him react this way he has that help to communicate in other ways, he has made so much progress lately, I can understand why the school have suspended him but sending him home he still requires support and an education, and you need some support too, I really hope that Monday brings a clearer picture of what kind of a future Steve has.

 

Hugs, hev, I have those panicy feelings, there very unpleasant, remember to breathe properly and soak in the bath and have a nice drink, and try and get ready for meeting up with the pros, on Monday or when they can get there act together.

 

I sure do hope the school can properly evaluate the right actions for steve.

 

JsMum

[elun1]

<'> <'> Hev

Really sorry to hear this

Elun xxxx

[Stella63]

Hi hev,

 

I don't really know what to say to you other than you have my full sympathy and understanding. Although my AJ is still in mainstream (just!) every day is a nightmare for me - I don't know what is going to happen next. He has just been charged with 'affray' and is up at the Youth Court on wednesday. We are ****ing bricks and he shows absolutely no emotion about it (doesn't do them!).

 

what do you do? You love them because they are yours but they push you to the absolute limits and then some.

 

Must go and drink some vodka!!

 

Stella xxx

[Enid]

yep, sat here with a glass of red, surveying damage in lounge, ds asleep, thank god, but tomorrow will have to consequence and then he "will go off on one" as my other 3 say, what a hand we`ve all been dealt in life, guess we just have to make the best of it, and hope we are man enough for the job!!! would like to hand my notice in at the moment, but will probably feel better in the morning!! Night all. Enid.

[smiley]

<'>

[KarenT]

So sorry Hev.

 

Karen

x

[aro]

((((Hev))))) sorry to hear this

 

A x

[Guest Lya of the Nox]

oh hunny

nothing i can say

x

[barefoot wend]

Really sorry to hear this and hope you manage to get things sorted for all of you.

 

Barefoot

[hev]

well ive got my strong head on today,just went and had early night last night,i couldnt even talk thats how bad i felt(shut up bighead )

i can fully understand why they suspend him,i had talk to him and he said he was sticking up for his friend,thats no excuse,he wants to write an apology to the teacher monday,his idea which is a good sign,im going to take each day at a time,k goes back to school monday so thats good,hes better just me and him

thanks for your replies

[Clare63]

Hev ~ <'> <'> <'> <'>

 

So sorry to hear this, a good sign though that Steve wants to write an apology which shows he has reflected on his actions. Glad you've found your "strong head" though sadly I think your gonna need it for a bit.

 

Thinking of you

 

Clare x x x

[oxgirl]

Sending <'> <'> <'> to you, hev, and hope the next few weeks go well for you all. <'>

 

~ Mel ~

[Flora]

hev <'> Really hope that the next week or so goes by peacefully and that the outcome of the 3 month review is that Steve can continue at his school. Hopefully they won't just give up on him and eventually he will achieve a clear view of the consequences of his actions that will enable him to pause before acting and moderate his behaviour; after all that's the whole point of this specialist school and I'd be surprised if they would admit defeat so quickly.

 

Will be keeping everything crossed for the review

 

Flozza XX

[lynyona]

<'> <'> <'> <'> Hev <'> <'> <'> <'>

[Mumble]

<'> <'> Hev <'> <'>

Really sorry and I hope you and the school can work through this to find a solution that works for everyone.

[Karen A]

Hev <'> <'> <'> Karen.

[LittleRae]

Hev, sorry to hear about the suspension. Do you get to communicate with the school before their decision. If so, it wouldn't do any harm to point out the progress Steve has made since joining the school, both apologising to Nick and suggesting he write a letter of apology to the teacher. It shows he is thinking of the results of his actions and trying to make amends.

 

Hope all goes well for you <'>

[Paula]

<'> <'> <'> <'>

[pearl]

Late to this, hope it all works out love <'>

[hev]

so do i ,i really cant see what to do next if he gets taken away from the school,hes nearly 15,ive tried mainstream,aspergers school and now a behaviour school,im actually dreading the 30th april which is when i find out what the decision is from the school

[pearl]

They sound way better than that last one though, fingers crossed

[Enid]

hi Hev, I also have been through 2 primary`s, I secondary, and now he is in a special school, for children with educational and behaviour problems. I guess your next step would be residential school for challanging children, they are open 52 weeks, you could google some and see if there are any in your area, I have done it myself as if my son keeps refusing to get in taxi they will probably not keep placement open for him at school, so I thought I`d see what else there is, They dont have to stay all the time, but option is there. The big problem of course is that you would have to get the education authority in your area to pay for it. Enid

[Karen A]

so do i ,i really cant see what to do next if he gets taken away from the school,hes nearly 15,ive tried mainstream,aspergers school and now a behaviour school,im actually dreading the 30th april which is when i find out what the decision is from the school

 

Hev <'> <'> <'> I really hope the school decide to keep Steve.I don't know much about what the limit is regarding the school deciding they will not keep Steve....but until the last week things appeared to be going well.Karen.

[westie]

Hev,

Sorry to hear about Steve being suspended. I hope your daughter got back to school okay today and that you had a good day together.

 

I too think its positive that he has apologised to Nick and suggested writing the letter of apology to the teacher. I hope the school do not give up yet - if it is a behaviour school I would have thought they have seen this before and would now look at ways of helping Steve to understand better ways of expressing himself.

 

Also hope the review goes well on the 30th

Take care

D

X

[Suze]

thinking of you hev <'> ..................you must be so worried , best wishes suzex

[hev]

hi Hev, I also have been through 2 primary`s, I secondary, and now he is in a special school, for children with educational and behaviour problems. I guess your next step would be residential school for challanging children, they are open 52 weeks, you could google some and see if there are any in your area, I have done it myself as if my son keeps refusing to get in taxi they will probably not keep placement open for him at school, so I thought I`d see what else there is, They dont have to stay all the time, but option is there. The big problem of course is that you would have to get the education authority in your area to pay for it. Enid

enid steve is in a residential school like this at the moment

[Enid]

OOPS! sorry, so what hope is there for us all then if they can send, children home so easily, I didnt realise Steve was in a residential school, thought it was a boarding school, I used to be a house-parent in a boarding school for boys with educational and behaviour problems, they used to go home in the hols, but sometimes, boys that were a real problem, used to go to different residential schools, with the option of staying 52 wks, I was under the impression they couldnt get excluded from there! how depressing. Sorry bout that! Enid

[David Matthew Baker]

Sorry to read this Hev. <'> <'> <'> <'>

 

Hopefully in the time that he is away from school they can work out some stratergies to put in place to help deal with any behavioural issues, or as maybe the case how to spot when he is getting distressed and make moves to lessen his anxiety before it evolves into behaviour. Unfortunatally the last bit can be hard to do and even when you do spot it at times be hard to find a way out of the situation without a meltdown. Do they offer him to opportunity to remove himself from a situation if it is becoming too much for him or is he like a number of students at the school I work at and unable to recognise when this is the case. It sounds in particular as if he could do with somewhere to go to vent his frustration. I know our school often uses the soft play room (when it is free) for such a function but perhaps a small punch bag or similar might be just as effective. It may also be worth discussing with teachers the fact that he may not realise when he is getting so stressed (I don't know their level of knowledge of ASD) and hence maybe unable to remove himself from the situation without prompting. Again talking about a student I work with I often find that as soon as I have managed to remove him slightly from a confrontation that he remembers what actions are best to take (in other words go somewhere else) but he doesn't seem to very often be able to take the step back without assistance. It also does help that I get on particularly well with the student in question and he does tend to respond well to my suggestions. If I think of anything else will post it up. Stay strong though girl. I do generally get the impression that things are moving in the right direction. I hope things get sorted soon, all the best, David. <'> <'> <'> <'>

 

EDIT: Hopefully the school does have the policy that you give the students as many chances as they need. That's what the school I'm presently at do. I don't always agree with it (as I think some students suffer as a result at times) but I can also see why the head takes this approach and have heard him explain it to students and have to say it does make sense.

Edited April 21, 2008 by David Matthew Baker