Other peoples impression of AS

[ogsplosh]

It drives me up the wall! If I mention that DD is being refered as they think it might be AS, the comments I get are unbeilevebale! some says 'wow is she a genus then?' 'others but she doesn't act autistic' 'How did she catch that?'

 

Is this just the strange community I live in or do you all get this when you mention AS?

[justamum]

nope just ignorance in mental health issues as a whole, even in the medical profession......it's taboo to talk about mental health sigh

[mrsmuffins]

Oh the best comments are from the grandparents for me...they just won't have it that he has AS even though he has been officially diagnosed now. We get 'oh, he's just bored at school' or 'he's just a very active boy' or 'it's not his fault he has a lot to say that's all' etc etc. Grrr..really gets on my nerves! We've given everyone some basic info on AS but I know it's just never going to sink in.

 

Mrs M x

 

(Son aged 4 dx with AS April '08)

[amberzak]

I have been told 'You don't have aspergers, you are too intelligent.'

[sesley]

unfortunately there is an awful lot of ignorance about autism and i have to admit until we had our loverly boy, we too,were ignorant, the older generation are the worst i think, they don't seem to understand that ADHD is very real and that the person effected is not craving the attention they think they are and are not in need of good smacks and that ASD, child having public meltdowns is not out of control with clueless parents

Edited May 1, 2008 by sesley

[oxgirl]

We used to get from the grandparents, "But, DH was just like that as a child"! DUR! Maybe that's 'cos he is AS too, d'ya think!

Most annoying comment I got was at a family wedding when Jay was about four. I was helpfully informed that I should give him a good smack and that that usually works with hers!

 

 

nope just ignorance in mental health issues as a whole, even in the medical profession......it's taboo to talk about mental health sigh

 

So sorry, justamum, don't mean to be pedantic, but I wouldn't describe AS as a mental health issue, no offence meant.

 

~ Mel ~

[mrsmuffins]

oxgirl - had to laugh, that's another one of the MIL's favourites - dh being just like that as a child...

[Shnoing]

... If I mention that DD is being refered as they think it might be AS, the comments I get are unbeilevebale! some says 'wow is she a genus then?' others 'but she doesn't act autistic' ...

 

Is this just the strange community I live in or do you all get this when you mention AS?

 

I think it's the media coverage of Asperger's that is to blame. Only persons with a very high IQ get interviewed so the general impression is that everyone on the spectrum must be like that. Of course they aren't, it's a spectrum!

[darky]

Some of the worst comments I have had, and I STILL get them regular is "Oh my isn't she a good reader" The worst comment by far is "She/he does not look like they have Autism" There is a lot of ignorance. The other day someone wrote a comment in the local paper "People say a lot of these children have special needs, but I don't think they have" I wondered if she/he worked for the local authority

[bid]

Crappiest comment, just when we had got dx of AS, ADHD and Dyspraxia at 7: 'But he'll still be able to go to university, won't he?'

 

Bid

[Janey]

Hi all,

 

I get fed up with 'he looks ok,' and 'yes, but all children do that.'

 

Janey

[CarolineJ]

The usual reply I get is "What's that?"

[ScienceGeek]

I get several comments mainly the "you can't have it because 1) you can talk, 2) you are too clever, 3) you don't look autistic". Then again when I say dyspraxia the most common response I get is "what is that?!" or "you mean dyslexia, right?!" Most of the time it amuses me unless it is coming from someone who should know better.

[Shnoing]

dyslexia? That means you qualify for US president, right? :lol:

[ScienceGeek]

dyslexia? That means you qualify for US president, right? :lol:

 

Oh don't even get me started on US politics.. How did that idiot get voted in in the first place?!

[pookie170]

Looking back, I think the worst ignorance 'offence' I've experienced was when doing a childcare course. We were put into groups and handed envelopes containing 2 conditions that might affect kids in our care and asked to research them, and how we would modify activities etc to suit. Well, my group got aspergers syndrome. Everyone else got things like CF, cerebral palsy, downs syndrome- most of them had to do with physical disabilities, actually. We were perplexed, having never heard of AS and we couldnt find it in the limited reference books at our disposal. So, needing pointers, we went to the staffroom seeking enlightenment.

"What syndrome?" was the answer we received....

"Never heard of it.....have you heard of it, Anne?"

"No, I never have...Wait, maybe Sheila knows....Sheila, have you heard of Asperger Syndrome?"

"That's a new one on me! What is it?"

"Carol, have you heard of......."

Not one of our lecturers had a clue. These women all had many years experience working with kids under their belts, and this was in the mid 90s so I don't think that can be to blame....

At the time, we were merely peeved that they couldnt help as it meant we had the hardest job of all the groups, but 10 years on, as the mother of an Aspie, I'm incredulous that this was the case. Quite sad that those who should be in the know, weren't. Might actually ask if they'd like me to give their students a talk on autism/AS......... though I do hope they're a bit more up to speed nowadays!!!

 

Esther

Edited May 2, 2008 by pookie170

[Roseweave]

Most people online believe it's a made up disease.

 

Blame the pathetic wastes of space at Encyclopedia Dramatica who've nothing better to do than pick on people who probably aren't any less social than them anyway and write it off as a "parody"(apparently stalking people and posting a link to every forum they're on is a "Parody").

[ScienceGeek]

Most people online believe it's a made up disease.

 

Blame the pathetic wastes of space at Encyclopedia Dramatica who've nothing better to do than pick on people who probably aren't any less social than them anyway and write it off as a "parody"(apparently stalking people and posting a link to every forum they're on is a "Parody").

 

Peole with AS aren't their only target, they are particularly vicious about Trans people as well.

[Roseweave]

Peole with AS aren't their only target, they are particularly vicious about Trans people as well.

 

I know, but bring it up and you're BUTTHURT. It's great when you have a word that can defend absolutely anything you can do to another person.

 

ED is a spinoff of 4chan but 4chan hates ED. moot actually commented at a recent con a couple of days ago that he hates it when random people ruin people's lives for no reason.

[ScienceGeek]

I'm certainly not advocating it. I remain hopeful that the people who write stuff like that are in the minority. Unfortunately things like ED happen and it is how we respond to it that makes the difference, people who write things like that feed off the controversy that they create. Giving them attention and getting too upset by it only makes them worse.

[sesley]

actally our child physicoloisist consulatant said to us, that some parents will say to her , that now they see the autism challenges of the child, they can now understand a little about the partners that fathered the child,because often they have the same or simular characteristics.

[durhamlass]

Well you would think that people had more knowledge now a days! mmmmmmmmmmmmm!!!!! My partner and I went into Waterstones to look for a book on Aspergers and we searched through such categories as Health, Health and Education, Psychology and there awas absolutely nothing. We searched to see if they would be under any other headings, but nothing. So we went to the counter and asked, the woman said "Oh yes follow me" so we did and she took us right to the heading they were under, "DRINK" with a small sub heading in tiny writing 'medical ailments' one little row with about seven books on aspergers. MY partner and i laughed in discontent of the way this woman was just nonchelent about taking us to this section as if we should have known better. The same woman walked away from us in disgust at our laughing, maybe she never got our sense of humour because if we didn't laugh we would have gave her a lecture on what aspergers actually is and got her to redefine the category right there and then.

[Kathryn]

Well you would think that people had more knowledge now a days! mmmmmmmmmmmmm!!!!! My partner and I went into Waterstones to look for a book on Aspergers and we searched through such categories as Health, Health and Education, Psychology and there awas absolutely nothing. We searched to see if they would be under any other headings, but nothing. So we went to the counter and asked, the woman said "Oh yes follow me" so we did and she took us right to the heading they were under, "DRINK" with a small sub heading in tiny writing 'medical ailments' one little row with about seven books on aspergers. MY partner and i laughed in discontent of the way this woman was just nonchelent about taking us to this section as if we should have known better. The same woman walked away from us in disgust at our laughing, maybe she never got our sense of humour because if we didn't laugh we would have gave her a lecture on what aspergers actually is and got her to redefine the category right there and then.

 

 

DRINK - as in what parents get driven to in sheer frustration. A perfectly logical section for the AS books to reside in, in my opinion.

 

Cheers!

 

K x

[MichelleW]

DS2 has severe speech, language and communication disorder and is on 1st centile for expressive and receptive speech. And a certain person still says "he just chooses not to talk half the time" or "he'll talk when he wants to" and "but he understands everything you say"

 

With both the kids (second one not diagnosed ASD yet) I still get "but he doesn't look autistic". Then I was having a conversation about my 4 year old niece (my boys have different fathers so I guess I have the gene, suspect my brother is asperger, father's brother probably autistic). I mentioned to my mother that it was highly likely my niece was ASD (she shows a lot of behavioural similarities to my children) . Her reply was "Oh no - she doesn't look autistic" and this is from a grandmother of two boys who don't look autistic! When I pointed it out - she said "oh! I hadn't thought of it like that!" No, she just though my niece was badly behaved when she had screaming fits!

[Bard]

Well you would think that people had more knowledge now a days! mmmmmmmmmmmmm!!!!! My partner and I went into Waterstones to look for a book on Aspergers and we searched through such categories as Health, Health and Education, Psychology and there awas absolutely nothing. We searched to see if they would be under any other headings, but nothing. So we went to the counter and asked, the woman said "Oh yes follow me" so we did and she took us right to the heading they were under, "DRINK" with a small sub heading in tiny writing 'medical ailments' one little row with about seven books on aspergers. MY partner and i laughed in discontent of the way this woman was just nonchelent about taking us to this section as if we should have known better. The same woman walked away from us in disgust at our laughing, maybe she never got our sense of humour because if we didn't laugh we would have gave her a lecture on what aspergers actually is and got her to redefine the category right there and then.

 

That just goes to show, as with most things to do with ASDs, that it often depends on the area you are in.

In my local,quite small, Waterstones, the AS books are in the Health and Medical section, they always have Tony Attwood's book there and usually several others that are ASD-specific. The staff are also lovely with B, and we use it as one of our three meeting up places in town.

My pet hate phrases are 'he doesn't look autistic' 'but he'll grow out of it' ( said less often now he's older) and 'oh dear, what a shame, with his sister being so clever'

[MichelleW]

My Waterstones are also very well stocked in the medical section. Even had ones like "All cat's have Aspergers", "Martion in the Playground". When I asked for an ASD type book aimed at children - then knew where to find a Manga type book written for teenagers, and also came back with a new autobiography type ASD book. Unfortunately neither were suitable for a 7 year old! The staff seemed quite helpful too.

 

Another really annoying comment that came from the school's head teacher " You can't use the disabled parking space - that's for disabled chidren" and from the family welfare officer " If the other parents see you parking there, they will all want to park there". This was after a heated debate about how both my children get DLA because of their difficulties, and the fact that I can not get from my car to the playground because of DS2 refusing to walk or go in buggy. Again I got "but they don't look disabled".

[kellyanne]

Ok probably not along the same lines but when I mentioned to my sister that J may not be going to mainstream secondary school her response was 'what he's going to have to go to sp... sp... sp... I can't say the words special school' :rolleyes:

[hsmum]

Hello,

 

One surprising comment came from my father, an 87 year old country man. When I told him a bit about difficulties with communication, interaction and imagination he said 'He'd be all right as a farmer then".

[pearl]

According to MIL, JP was the way he was because we babied him

 

She never seemed to see the connection between that & her own treatment of his AS aunt, who had to be washed, dressed, fed & pushed out of the front door, all the time reading a book, in order to get to school on time - aged 15!

 

Now that he is doing well she has changed her tune & keeps saying how well we've raised him

[oxgirl]

According to MIL, JP was the way he was because we babied him

 

Yes, I've had that accusation from MIL as well (mine not yours). If only we'd 'let him grow up' he'd be fine, apparently. Not sure exactly what we were supposed to have done to hold him back from growing up, but there ya go.

 

~ Mel ~

[Babylicious]

We are faced with a similar problem, no one in our family even understands what it is and just says she's stubborn or high spirited! If only it was that simple

[CEJesson]

Well my father came to the conclusion that the idea of 'me having aspergers' was made up specifically to speed up the court order for him not to see me. - 6 years later, he wrote a letter saying that there was nothing wrong with me, to buck my ideas up and I should have tried to be like everyone else. Getting irate is what we all do and your problems are no more exemplary than anybody elses, apparently.

 

My grandparents didnt really have much input or understanding, they were about as much use as a chocolate fireguard.

 

I take the "I cant notice it" comments as a compliment usually nowadays, but sometimes people mean it as in "You dont look like there is anything wrong with you" and when you do try and explain its like pulling teeth to get them to accept it. For example "I get very anxious" reply: "dont we all do that?"

 

Its always very difficult explaining AS to someone in person, its been one of the more challenging aspects.

Edited May 20, 2008 by CEJesson

[smiley]

Last month - from a friend (who previously didn't know of my dx...)........

 

'Really, ohhhh i'd never have guessed - you don't look it....'

 

 

I've not had anthing regarding monkey - just a few assumptions that he's a savant.

[Julieanne]

I have had ''oh dont worry he will grow out of it, it is just a phase Julie''

 

some people!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[allsetuk]

ive had so many of these comments, its unreal, another one last week was ..the traits you describe sounds like living with a man....i try to laugh it off but my 6 yr old who was diagnosed as severe ASD probably aspergers and ADHD traits one half years ago seems to have mastered the ability to try hide or deflect his irrational fears anxiety onto other people, by changing the subject etc.....especially at school

 

im really sick of my grandparents saying that he is a show off becuase he gets very embarrassed at their house and hides under the table alot, and talks a lot of kind of burbled nonsense so they shout at my son...telling him to stop messing about, i printed some sheets off the internet that was explaining in grandparents terminology what aspergers is and answers questions like "will he/she grow out of it" "the child is naughty and has irrational fears , is it just bad parenting"

 

countless time ive been told he is just very intelligent,he will grow out of it, hes a handsome boy, he looks fine....he needs to be kept busy oh and the classic ...that i have had a lot of this year ....He needs a father !!

 

Yes I am one of those dreaded single parents ...pariah of the current society ...just got a joint honours degree and won a scholarship to do a masters