bid Report post Posted May 3, 2005 Me: 'My bum is so large!' Jester: 'Yes, but not in a bad way!!' Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest flutter Report post Posted May 3, 2005 thanks for the giggle need some just now my little one likes "pinching my inch", but did say the other day that it is cuddly Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
witsend Report post Posted May 3, 2005 Wonderful!! Took my son with me to the vets recently, our dog has epilepsy (I know!) and was having his routine check which involves the vet taking his temprature. When we came out I commented that the dog looked a bit cheesed off son replied "I don't blame him, wouldn't you if someone stuck a theasaurus up your a***!" Aren't they fab? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
oracle Report post Posted May 3, 2005 Matthew wants to know why they 'Roll the Lottery Over' when it's not won? He asked me was there a reason why they do this? Answers please - because I have not come up with one yet? Carole Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lsw146 Report post Posted May 3, 2005 Posted elsewhere but yesterday got "Mummy how do your draw a conclusion" Jo Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baddad Report post Posted May 3, 2005 Me: 'My bum is so large!' Jester: 'Yes, but not in a bad way!!' My missus asked during our wedding reception: "does my bum look big in this?" I said "What? The Marquee?" I'd lay odds though, Jester, hers is the same as every other womans on the planet - a furnace in the summer and a refrigerator in the winter. Their feet do it too - true love is letting them warm them up between your legs despite the risk of ascending frostbite! L&P BD Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
niki Report post Posted May 3, 2005 not such a giggle but the awwwwwwwwww factor, usually after a particularly bad day, just before tristan goes to bed he announces........... Dad's great, Poppy's cool but my mummy is the gorgeoustest prettiest lovelist warm mummy! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kathryn Report post Posted May 3, 2005 My son (7) is continually amazed and horrified when I talk about my bleak deprived childhood sans X box, computer, video, DVD..... I periodically lecture him about spending more time outside, and less time glued to some electronic gadget; "because when I was your age... etc etc..." After one such pep talk he said " Mum, the olden days are finished. Get over it". Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zemanski Report post Posted May 4, 2005 'I wanted to go into space in my rocket, but there is already someone in that space' Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sarahjane Report post Posted May 4, 2005 whenI was telling H he had a day off school because it was may day he got v anxious "is that the day when all the planes crash?" "why do you say that " H " well when a plane crashes they shout mayday ive seen it on daddy's war films" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hatter Report post Posted May 4, 2005 Charlie saw our next- door neighbour walking along the street in her colourful hippy clothes and said, very loudly ' what's that lady doing out in her pyjamas?' Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Valiant_Skylark Report post Posted May 4, 2005 Youngest son, 7, (commenting dryly on a "Keep Shut, Fire Door" notice): "Well that's a bit stupid; How am I supposed to go through it and keep it shut at the same time?!" And... Mum: "You're getting too big for your boots." (To small son who is getting a might cocky as a Year 2...) Youngest son: "Well that's a bit silly. Of course I'll get too big for my boots; I'm too big for my slippers already!" Valiant_Skylark xx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baddad Report post Posted May 6, 2005 This one's sort of X-Rated, so if you're easily offended... At the moments Ben's favourite thing in the world is his "Disney Golf" PS2 game. Each option has a still picture of Disney characters playing a round. One of them shows Donald and Daisy duck - he's carrying a driver, and she has an Iron. Ben looked at this tonight and said, "look, she's got a wedge and DONALD'S GOT A WOODY"!! He couldn't understand why my tea came out my nose or why I convulsed with laughter... Juvenile, I know - but if you didn't guess from my avatar - well you know now! L&P BD Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Minxygal Report post Posted May 6, 2005 While driving down a country road my youngest started bouncing and getting all excited in the car....'OMG' said he. 'That is so bad' He pointed to a nearby field "Look mum, someone has grafitti-ed the sheep" Of course he meant the paint blob on their fleeces that shows the farmer which sheep are his. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
helenl53 Report post Posted May 6, 2005 My darling child did an essay on his family and read it out to the class and at the time was also being observed by the EP. She phoned me in hysterics. With a very straight face, he described dad, the dog, his brother and then when he got to the description of me it was "my mother is a simple woman" I know what he means Best wishes Helen Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sarahjane Report post Posted May 6, 2005 I can identify with that one my darling, who is 6 has just beaten me at chess for the third time (his latest craze!) and his comment was "your not very clever mum are you?" from H who has come to see what I'm doing, he may be able to play chess but fortuately can't read! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
invent 10 things b4 breakfast Report post Posted May 6, 2005 My husband was driving along in the car with our 8 year old son. My son had Scott Tracey from Thunderbirds sitting in our empty toddlers seat next to him. As they rounded a sharp corner the car in front of them runs over a cat! My husband swerves to avoid hitting it as it lay there with it's claws out, feet up, our son explodes in hysterics "Do it again dad that was cool!" My husband is just about to lecture him about not being very sympathetic when our son continues, "You just launched Scott Tracey right out of his seat!" They don't always see what you see! and you don't even want to go there with explaining why you served in the first place! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
raelien Report post Posted May 7, 2005 I had difficulties explaining why greenhouses were called green houses when they werent green and not houses? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
loulou Report post Posted May 11, 2005 Hi, We were in the local sweet shop today and Kai (being Kai) decided to poke his nose around the shop. They'd left the door to their toilet open, so Kai couldn't resist taking a look. He came running down the shop to the till and said to the shop keeper, "That bathroom you've got back there is disgusting, i would never go in there!" Luckily the shopkeeper found it funny and laughed. She said, "Well he's right, it is pretty old and horrible!" Just say it how it is Kai! Loulou x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
invent 10 things b4 breakfast Report post Posted May 13, 2005 talking to "S" about the new school he'll go to next year and saying about how many computers they had and he'd really like it. My exact comment was "they have computers coming out of their ears" - big mistake! Then spend the next 30 minutes explaining that they didn't ACTUALLY have computers coming out of their ears What are you like mother! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sallya Report post Posted May 13, 2005 "Dad, can I have some of your chocolate balls?" (m*ltesers) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KarenT Report post Posted May 14, 2005 J watched a wildlife programme about beavers this week, and it's taken over his imaginative play. Whatever his obsession is it will join him on the walk to school or come to tea etc, be it Dennis the Menace, robots, dinosaurs etc. So this morning I found him wandering around the house carrying the cat cage, and talking about putting Anna's beaver in it... Karen x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mellymel Report post Posted May 15, 2005 when i recently asked my son if he thought mummys bum looked big in the new jeans i was wearing he simply said your bums always the same size. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
spid Report post Posted May 15, 2005 have recently started new bedtime routine ,put on lava lamp ,story,footrub,having done firdst 2 ,rubbing feet 10minutes ,jo gives a big yawn and says you can go now mummy.so glad to be of service Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
invent 10 things b4 breakfast Report post Posted June 9, 2005 Just been on holiday to Florida, went out to the "Waffle House" for breakfast. Walked in and sat down the waitress came over and the first thing our 8 year old son says is "why are there so many flies in here?" Not "hello" or "how are you?" It was true, there were a lot of flies - but you know what they're like, say it as it is! So then all throughg breakfast our 3 year old keeps asking the waitress as they go by about the flies. It was a good thing they couldn't understand the English accent very well I could have just crawled under the table! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Faz Report post Posted June 9, 2005 I hadn't done any gardening at the front of the house for a while, so when Chris came home from school and found that I'd dug a flower bed and planted some heather and a conifer, he was very interested. The next morning when the taxi came to pick him up he yelled 'Steve come and look at Mummy's bush' Steve was I was Luckily when I explained what he meant, Steve found it hilarious - phew!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KarenT Report post Posted June 13, 2005 We were coming back to the house after shopping on Saturday morning. James said to me "Can you remember when the path was all dug up in our street because the men were doing the phone lines and the telly?" I said "Yes, I can." He replied "I can't" How weird is that?! K x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lil_me Report post Posted June 13, 2005 Mikey stood picking his nose My Mam said ' You can't do that!' Mikey ' Yes I can , look ' and did it again My slip up of the week, saying 'Wipe that look of your face' never seen such a confused look on a little boys face, he did try to rub it off Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DrinkTheElixir Report post Posted June 13, 2005 (edited) A few nights ago when I was having a low moment and a few tears, my 7 year old gave me a brief hug and said "I love you Mummy, but can you turn your taps off because they are making me wet" Edited June 13, 2005 by DrinkTheElixir Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baddad Report post Posted June 13, 2005 MORTIFIED... Ben seeing a 'new' psychologist for the first time today. There for absolutely ages (2hrs+) and Ben's behaviour has been impeccable throughout... On leaving, I suggested he might want to use the toilet as it was quite a drive home. "Good idea" he says, trotting off. A couple of minutes later the door opens and he very VERY loudly declares: "I'm sorry, Dad, I pi***d all over her carpet"... AAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Now it is a FACT that this is the first time I've ever heard Ben use this word, but I didn't even bother to say it 'cos I didn't think she'd believe it for a moment. Instead went with the 'Kids, eh" look and got out sharpish! L&P BD Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pleasehelp Report post Posted June 13, 2005 (edited) While driving down a country road my youngest started bouncing and getting all excited in the car....'OMG' said he. 'That is so bad' He pointed to a nearby field "Look mum, someone has grafitti-ed the sheep" Of course he meant the paint blob on their fleeces that shows the farmer which sheep are his. Minxygal, I think you'll find the blob of paint isn't so the farmer knows which sheep are his but which ones have been, err, 'graffitied' by the ram whos belly the paintblobber is strapped too I can always rely on my kids to be the first to let me know if I'm having a bad hair day or my bum looks fat in something. In fact the youngest (5) now thinks it's SUPER funny to call me 'Bummy' and usually over and over again really loud round the frozen food aisles at Asda Edited June 13, 2005 by pleasehelp Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jomarie Report post Posted June 14, 2005 while shopping for some new clothes at one of those out of town outlet places, M came into the changing room while I was trying something on (& struggling due to gaining weight) for him to declare, "don't worry mam, just go on a diet" very loud so that the entire shop could hear!! than when i met my mum outside & told her what he said, all I heard was a voice next to me say, "diet schmiet mam" And waiting in the queue at Subway last week, the person in front of us was buying a foot long sandwich, & there was the loud voice again, "Mam, thats incredibly greedy you know!" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
loulou Report post Posted June 16, 2005 Hi, I was just watching TV with Kai, and the ad came on for Piriton (the one with the boy walking to school in a big plastic ball). After it finished, Kai said to me, "Mummy, i'm never taking that medicine!". "Why's that?" I asked. "Because look what's happened to him. It's made him get stuck in that ball!" I just love the innocence! Loulou x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
invent 10 things b4 breakfast Report post Posted June 17, 2005 My 8 year old son was on the way to school in the car with my husband the other day and at the top of the road they passed our postman. Noticing the Postman, my son immediately asked "Daddy who delivers our Postman's Post?" My husband explained that it was probably another Postman. Not good enough for him of course.........Quick as a flash he then asked "Well if that's the case, who delivers his post, another Postman?" Unwisely my husband said probably Literally in seconds, he then said that if that was the case then there must be an infinite number of Postman in the World delivering each others post and that must mean everyone could have a job! <'> He then proceeded to repeat the analagy all the way to school......bless Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baddad Report post Posted July 20, 2005 Ben tonight managed to get annoyed by a piece of garlic skin that had drifted on to the dinner table... "Blooming stupid thing - it's annoying me: I hate it" "Ben, if you can manage to get annoyed by that you've got a really hard life ahead of you... Save it for something really annoying." "Yeah, like PRAT FACE Ryan at school - he's an idiot". Trying desperately to keep a straight face, i tried to do the whole "like Who?" thing - you know all shocked and 'disappointed'... "Like Ryan, I mean." "Yes, that's more like it.. and I don't want to hear you saying that again" "What 'prat'?" "Yes, 'prat'" "Well he is a prat" "I don't care if he is a prat, I don't want to hear you calling him that" "Why not?" "'Cos it's not nice. How would you like it if he called you a prat?" "Well he does, and I'm not, and he is, the prat!" "BEN!!" "Well he IS!"... ... ... ... ... Next time, I'll let him moan about the garlic peel - it's easier in the long run... L&P BD Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
elaine1 Report post Posted July 28, 2005 oh lord. i have a red nose dont ask me why, but my son said its okay peter schmicheal has a red nose and hes a good footballer lol. thanks, i think Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
barefoot wend Report post Posted July 28, 2005 My youngest asked me how long it took to make a baby. When I told him 'nine months' he said 'Ugggggghhhh! I've got to leave my willy in a woman for NINE WHOLE MONTHS?' Pity his wife! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
elaine1 Report post Posted July 28, 2005 ooh lolol. his poor wife, shell never get a moments peace lolol. out of the mouths............... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
elaine1 Report post Posted July 28, 2005 (edited) my son said to his friend, who had just helped him complete a particularly difficult level in star wars ps2, I love you Josh, but not in that way, in the other way. his friend never blinked an eye as their conversations often run like this, he has dyspraxia! theyre often quite entertaining lol Edited July 28, 2005 by elaine1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
smiley Report post Posted July 28, 2005 my darling son and i had been shopping the previous day, i'd brought some knickers with a picture of a kitten on them. next day, at grandmas house (in-laws not even mine!) my little guy ran in and said to gradma "look, mummys got a new pussy" - whilst pointing to my crotch. i will never, ever lived that one down! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
