Censorship is alive and well

[call me jaded]

Shame the 'petition' thread is closed. Can one only express a krism-approved view?

Edited December 26, 2005 by call me jaded

[phasmid]

I don't think that's a fair reflection on the closing of that particular thread. It had been open for some time and until it was closed any opinion could have been posted on it, as indeed many were. It was starting to go around in circles and not going anywhere fresh. I know for a fact it nearly sent one prospective forum member away never to come back. We have enough problems to deal with as it is without ripping into each other. Having moderated a forum myself for some time (not ASD connected in anyway) I know you cannot win. Some will say it should have closed sooner, some not at all, others still that it should be removed, some that it should stay. A difficult choice. I think the Hosts have let it run longer than I would have done in their shoes.

[Tylers-mum]

I never posted on it I don't think (if I did, then it was at the very early stages of the thread) but I have to totally agree with what Phas said. Enough said I think.

Edited December 26, 2005 by Tylers-mum

[call me jaded]

I'm a long time moderator myself, phasmid.

 

It seems the forum 'rules' are not being applied in the same way to all threads.

[Lufty]

I'm a long time moderator myself, phasmid.

 

It seems the forum 'rules' are not being applied in the same way to all threads.

 

Hi Call me jaded

 

Can you give me an example of the forum rules not being applied on other threads please ?

 

Many thanks

 

 

 

Lufty

[call me jaded]

How many threads are closed off after they've been inactive for two days.

 

There were plenty of moderators posts on that thread. The last few posts had been well within the T&Cs, so why close it off now?

 

Anyway I have no intention of labouring the point.

Edited December 26, 2005 by call me jaded

[Kris]

How many threads are closed off after they've been inactive for two days.

 

There were plenty of moderators posts on that thread. The last few posts had been well within the T&Cs, so why close it off now?

 

Anyway I have no intention of labouring the point.

 

That particular topic was not closed because it had been inactive for two days. Please read the topic and (as a moderator yourself) you may understand exactly why it was closed, and you will obviously not be aware of the background PM's and Emails on this particular subject.

 

There is no such thing as a Krism approved view and I am very dissapointed that you (as a longer term member and regular poster) would say that! As moderators and admins we reserve the right to moderate any topic as we see fit. Active moderation is one of the reasons that the forum is so popular. We will continue to do this where and if necessary although hopefully the 'necessity' will be few and far between.

 

You wont always understand why, sometimes you will have to accept that we have our reasons. As an example, we are also currently dealing with a major commercial company who have taken exception to the use of one of their product names on this forum (from topics posted months ago) - So you can see the kind of things we have to deal with. As a moderator yourself I'm sure that you will understand.

 

Kris

Edited December 27, 2005 by Kris

[call me jaded]

OK this is my last post on this.

 

1. Timeliness. A warning was given on post 32. At what point did the subsequent posts stray outside the T&Cs more than the previous 31?

 

2. Consideration for other mods who posted on the thread. It makes them look ineffective. If you're too busy, leave it to someone else to make a judgement call.

 

3. It really does make it look like expressing an interest in biomedical intervention is forum suicide.

Edited December 27, 2005 by call me jaded

[Guest flutter]

i think it was closed cos people asked for that to happen??

i for one certainly wanted it colsed a long time ago, we all said our piece, and realsied that we differed in our ideas and opinions,

the buck stops with Krism, and the S**t land on thier shoulders, and if it goes wrong they may have to close it all, and they dont deserve that and we NEED this place

tc all

C xx

Edited December 27, 2005 by flutter

[kirstie]

C'mon guys, i dunno whats happening lately but things seem to be going haywire. It's not the place we all know and love, so please, enough sniping.

I love this forum and all the different opinions and advice we ALL desperatley need from time to time. I trust the judgements of moderators and truly value the opinions of my fellow members. Nuf said.

[Guest flutter]

sorry kirsty on me,

tc

[Elefan]

When we set up this forum, it was to make the world seem a little smaller. Instead of feeling isolated and as if no one else could understand what our life was/is like, it gave me a haven where people could share their experiences, advice, support, and go to for a shoulder to lean on.

 

It was a selfish idea that helped me,..but the knock on affect is that it became a haven for so many other people from the UK and much further afield.

 

I am blessed that I have a best friend who has spent years and time making this forum work,...and a partner who has embraced our life and the forum too.

 

Juggling their own jobs, families, and finding time for volunteer work, whilst being there for me and my little girls,...they spend time and money on making this a reliable and helpful forum.

 

It is generally a thankless task (though many of you publically give your appreciation in some threads, which makes a genuine difference to our morale),...but also, at times disheartening.

 

We pride ourselves on the management of this forum, whilst addressing the many enquiries or concerns that are personally communicated to us.

 

I would rather see Lufty and Kris have a good nights sleep,...or have a little more time to themselves, than spending so much time on phone calls, on the computer, and 'planning' the changes that are necessary.

 

We can't please all of the people all of the time,....but I watch them try!!!!

 

Please don't forget that my little one has all the challenges of ASD,...whilst her long suffering sibling tries to cope. We deal with all of their needs, whilst trying to provide the forum you all want and need.

 

Right now,...I am finding the balance difficult to achieve,..and the temptation to say to both Lufty and Kris to call it a day, if their judgement and execution of this forum is going to be repeatedly challenged, is huge!

 

I apologise for this minor rant,..but I am human too!!!!

 

Thank you to Nellie, Bid and Baddad for their efforts, too.

 

 

Regards,

 

Elefan (rather miffed!!!)

[adamsmum]

I should hope most users are as grateful as i am for all the hard work that must go in to making this forum the fantastice place it is. I suppose people forget that it's an ongoing job they get us to it being their. Those that put in the hard woke should be thanked more often and their own problems should be taken in to account before we wing about the rigts and wrongs. So thank you all for such a great forum

[phasmid]

This forum is a godsend for many people.

 

I think it is to easy to forget the amount of work that you, host's and moderators put into it. You can't get it right all the time (I know that from my time moderating a chat forum) but I'll tell you what, you come ###### close!

 

Don't let a bad reaction caused by one thread undo all the good this site has achieved.

[Suze]

Elefan, <'> ..............I joined just a year ago when things had got to a crisis point in our family.Finding this site was a godsend to me.Being able to discuss problems, worries and having others help me and give advice helped drag me out of a pit of despair.I don,t use any other forums this is the only cyber place I visit, the people here and particularly Elefan, Kris and Lufty- those that used their own time ,money and energies, I just want to say a really big thankyou.Over the past weeks you,ve been sorting the new site out , for the benefit of all of us , I felt really bad when I read this thread as it had obviously upset Elefan without whom this site would,nt exist.So please have a big hug <'> ................I love Krism and all the hard work you do ..........and I could,nt live without you .

[barefoot wend]

'it was to make the world seem a little smaller'. Thank you all.

[oracle]

I can fully understand how you must feel Elefan I truly understand the amount of time, energy and effort needed to maintain this forum, not to mention the cost, which I keep saying is the biggest and the best. There may be others that are bigger? But I have never found any that were purely ASD specific and certainly none that have given parents access to so many people who can offer you advice and support when you are most in need of it.

 

This forum and the people on it have played a HUGE part in our Campaigning during the last twelve months and for that I am very grateful.

 

The forum is a sanctuary for many of us where we find cyber friends. There are many of us here who live such a restricted life that our cyber friends are our only friends. That makes Krism priceless in my book.We had a massive blip like this on Campaign when I really did want to throw in the towel but after much thought decided that that would be giving in to those who were causing the problems.

 

There is no magic formula for living with ASD and we must all follow the path that we believe will be the right one for us. BUT we should also remember that while it is right for us it may not be right for everyone else. I hate anything with a hard sell. I live in the same neck of the wood as Paul Shattock and although Paul is very passionate about his beliefs he never tries to force them down your throat and that is what I like most about Paul - that and the fact that we can both agree to disagree and remain friends.

 

That must surely be the key to any lasting friendship that and an understanding that here on this forum we share the space with adults who are themselves on the spectrum, and my own personal gripe is anything that implies that people with ASD are in some way broken and need fixing. We should treat everyone with respect.

 

You are all doing not only a great job but in my opinion providing something that money cannot buy.

 

<'> Carole

Edited December 27, 2005 by carole

[call me jaded]

I do appreciate all that you say, Elefan. It's clear I'm a lone voice on here and although I had no intention of creating what Carole calls a massive blip, if it is being perceived as that I shall do what is best and remove myself from your presence.

 

Keep up the good work.

[Suze]

Jaded, were all part of the same family , and I fall out with mine all the time, please don,t leave the forum, if that is what you meant.

[oracle]

It's clear I'm a lone voice on here and although I had no intention of creating what Carole calls a massive blip,

 

The massive blip I was referring to was the way in which the original thread broke down and then became confrontational. I hope that I have more respect for everyone on this forum than to aim comments at them indirectly - that is not my way of doing things at all.

 

Carole

[smiley]

Elefan <'>

 

I really feel for you. I hate threads like this and just try to avoid them. (- That's just my personal opinion, because i'm hopeless at confrontation!).

 

This place has turned me from a mummy who was constantly in tears to a mummy who understands her child and is beginning the fight to help him get the things he needs. I learnt all this from here - no other forum, no professionals - just here. This place is my life line.

 

Just wanted to let you know <'>

[neda]

Elefan, Kris, Lufty and all others involved.

 

I'm relatively new to the forum and find it has helped me so much since I started posting because my son was being assessed by psychologist. To think that you all work so tirelessly to provide this service overwhelms me as much as the information which is now available to me through the forum. Keep up the good work it really is appreciated, although its like everything else, something that can be taken for granted. Your post is hopefully a wake up call and will make us all remember when we log on that the forum is here through the kindness of others, that includes yourselves and the others that post on here, offering advice and experiences.

Edited December 27, 2005 by neda

[Elefan]

I think most of you know that I am the last person to want anyone to leave our forum.

 

I am being protective of those closest to me.

 

I have watched Lufty and Kris be unable to do right, for doing wrong, it seems. This frustrates me when their hearts are very much in the right place and they do this for no reward, other than to help us all.

 

I also hope you will respect that things can get on top of me too,..and that I am having a 'moment'. I watch Lufty dealing with a difficult phase from my little one, and don't want managing the forum to be the final straw. It beggars belief why he stays around.

 

Call me jaded,...I found the title of this thread a tad confrontational, but I value your input here. We rarely 'censor', but actively moderate for all our sakes. I have chosen to speak out,...but it is a heart felt message/reminder to us all,..including me.

 

Kris and Lufty are my hero's,...but I don't want to take them for granted and they can (and should) only take so much. Without them, there is no krism.

 

Kindest regards,

 

Elefan

[KarenM]

I just wanted to post that I think this is a wonderfull forum. I did not know I could recieve tax credits for my daughter till I read it here and I look in everyday. The bit in the original post about autism being a risk to the population was horrible. Thank you to everyone who kindly have replied to my posts. And thanks to the people like Elefan, Kris and Lufty who make this place possible I am truly greatful.

Karen

Edited December 27, 2005 by KarenM

[lindy-lou]

i think this forum has probably saved many a parents sanity and very probably a few lifes too,there is no subject more emotive than our children,and the struggles that they and we face,and from time to time people are bound to have different views or feel afronted about something somebody has said,thats normal when people become close and face emotional issues together,but the very fact that this forum is here to have people to face emotional issues with,people who understand and feel every emotion along with you,is more important than differing views.Ive only been here a short while and i already know how much krism has helped me to come to terms with and accept and learn about what is essentialy my child,and i thank each and every one of you,especially the people who work so hard to make it possible to get such support.

 

<'>

[TuX]

I can fully understand how you must feel Elefan I truly understand the amount of time, energy and effort needed to maintain this forum, not to mention the cost, which I keep saying is the biggest and the best. There may be others that are bigger? But I have never found any that were purely ASD specific and certainly none that have given parents access to so many people who can offer you advice and support when you are most in need of it.

There's the Wrongplanet dot net site and forum which is worth checking out,usually has over 100 people on at any 1 time.

 

 

 

 

I am used to using forums where bannings are common,and post content having to be accutely moderated because of the bad things people post,and I find it completely different here,very relaxed forum with no trolls,Krism (don't think I'll get used to using the new name as it could be referring to any ASD forum ) is of a professional,mature standard,in my opinion,and not everyone will agree with every action carried out,it is inevitable there will be disagreements but that doesn't make them wrong..or right.

[Gordie]

That must surely be the key to any lasting friendship that and an understanding that here on this forum we share the space with adults who are themselves on the spectrum, and my own personal gripe is anything that implies that people with ASD are in some way broken and need fixing. We should treat everyone with respect.

That is so important to me when I come here - thank you for mentioning it. <'>

 

James

[kirstie]

Elefan, please don't be disheartened (easy said, i know) we are all so very grateful for the hard work you all do. I appreciate where you're coming from totally, i too have my very own 'lufty' who came into our chaotic lives and stayed too iwould quote you but as i said on another thread i can't do it, i'm thick as mince when it comes to computers so its a miracle that i found this forum atall, literally.

 

Call me Jaded, don't go! We all have our opinions and you are valued as much as anyone else. I just hate any argy-bargy!!

 

Kris, Lufty you are doing pucker work, When i have been in the depths of despair and the blackest of clouds have descended over me i have found so much comfort, reassurance, advice and friendship here and found the strength to soldier on another day, thank you so much.

Take care,

Kirstie.

[rainbow queen]

not quite sure whats going on[as im tired]

but just wanted to add

i love this forum and i only joined this autumn and its been the most helpfull thing in my life regarding me and my un dx son.

there has been many times iv felt like giving it all up-but you guys give me the strength to carry on.

you are my light in the dark.

me and my son were like lost souls before i found this forum and i love everyone on it,and am thank full for all the hard work that makes it as good as it is

[LittleRae]

I've learned more about AS on this forum than from any professional or book. It's wonderful to be able to see that other people share the same problems...and the same joys. I am so thankful to all those who work to make it what it is.

 

I think we all need to realise that with the number of people on here, we DO need moderators and therefore some form of censorship has to take place when things get out of hand. We need to preserve this resource for 'the many' and if that means upsetting 'the few', then that's how it has to be. So few members of this forum could speak so truthfully about their lives to people who know us - they just wouldn't understand. It's good to be able to speak freely. On the other hand, sometimes we may speak 'too freely' and feel we are not restricted by the 'norms' of regular conversation. It doesn't happen often, thankfully, but as the forum membership grows boundaries are bound to be pushed. Someone has to make sure order is kept for those who truly could not get by without this place.

 

Anyway, just wanted to say my bit. Well done all you guys & keep up the good work

 

A

[Sallya]

I hate all this bad feeling, I have found so much help here from people who have their own problems, and yet still find the time to come and help me with mine. I wish I had found this forum a long time ago. It's helped me through a tough year, there's always someone else who's had a worse day, and someone to help and advise. I've found information here, that I can't find anywhere else, and from people who go the extra mile to give encouragement and help you back up again. So thankyou for all your hard work that goes on behind the scenes when you have busy lives of your own, to give all of us somewhere to come when we are struggling.

s

xxx

[sue45]

Elefan, Kris, Lufty and moderators, I'm new here but cna't tell you how much finding you has affected my life for the better. I'm so grateful you put yourselves out for the rest of us. I'm not a regular on any other chatline but have looked in on one or two and what I've found on here quality wise is leaps and bounds ahead of the others. For the most part, everyone is lovely and supportive - non of the bitching you can find elsewhere so maybe it's the extra pressure of christmas upsetting the equilibrium?

 

Just wanted to let you know how wonderful you all are and how much I appreciate Krism.

 

Kindest wishes

 

Sue

 

xx

[lorryw]

This site has been a real godsend to me. I had a horrible experience on another site and arrived here like a lost soul. There is a wealth of experience on these boards that is quite staggering. The education forum is fantasitic and I wish it had been around when my son was younger things could have been so different for him.

People actually listen and try to offer a solution or at the very least an acknowledgement of your pain and unhappiness. Or sometimes its lovely to share something great like my recent trip to New York (bragging again) but only those in the same boat would know how difficult it was to go. Or the fantastic humour on here, who could ever forget a certain someone and the saga of the bargain sofas!

Its my first port of call in the morning and last at night. Please keep going I would miss it so much if you called it a day.

Love Lorainexxx

[Gordie]

I've learned more about AS on this forum than from any professional or book. It's wonderful to be able to see that other people share the same problems...and the same joys. I am so thankful to all those who work to make it what it is.

 

I think we all need to realise that with the number of people on here, we DO need moderators and therefore some form of censorship has to take place when things get out of hand. We need to preserve this resource for 'the many' and if that means upsetting 'the few', then that's how it has to be. So few members of this forum could speak so truthfully about their lives to people who know us - they just wouldn't understand. It's good to be able to speak freely. On the other hand, sometimes we may speak 'too freely' and feel we are not restricted by the 'norms' of regular conversation. It doesn't happen often, thankfully, but as the forum membership grows boundaries are bound to be pushed. Someone has to make sure order is kept for those who truly could not get by without this place.

 

Anyway, just wanted to say my bit. Well done all you guys & keep up the good work

 

A

Really well said.

 

James

[lindy-lou]

This site has been a real godsend to me. I had a horrible experience on another site and arrived here like a lost soul. There is a wealth of experience on these boards that is quite staggering. The education forum is fantasitic and I wish it had been around when my son was younger things could have been so different for him.

People actually listen and try to offer a solution or at the very least an acknowledgement of your pain and unhappiness. Or sometimes its lovely to share something great like my recent trip to New York (bragging again) but only those in the same boat would know how difficult it was to go. Or the fantastic humour on here, who could ever forget a certain someone and the saga of the bargain sofas!

Its my first port of call in the morning and last at night. Please keep going I would miss it so much if you called it a day.

Love Lorainexxx

hi lorraine!

 

when did you go to new york?the family fund paid for me and my sister to take my AS nephew in march and it was the most fantastic experience of my life!!!!!

[reuby2]

I want to thank everyone involved in running this site and making it a positive place when I'm not feeling positive. My son received his dx of ASD in november and i can honestly say that I have found out everything I know from this forum. No proffessional has given us leaflets . I know what I know from here.

 

Thank you all so much for the difference you make in mine and so many other peoples lives.It's like God has

provided something to help in our difficult situations.

 

I think you are FAB, <'> <'> <'>

 

And there's not many people who can "walk the walk" rather than "talk the talk". Thank you for all the hardwork you put in to keep this going reliably and constantly. <'> <'> <'>

 

P.S I have come across other forums that don't appear to be moderated and people have been swearing and attacking each other and I simply don't want to be part of something like that. I find here that there is a feeling of trust and respect. I honestly don't know what I would do if i couldn't come here and i feel part of the "family" even though I only came here in October.

 

This forum is something special and so are you Kris, Elefan,Lufty,baddad, nellie and all the rest.THANK YOU x

[lorryw]

Hi Lindy

I went with my sister and a good friend, her sister and their teenage daughters. We went at the end of November for 3 nights and it was brilliant. We all fell in love with the place and still cant believe we actually went.

Loraine xx

[lindy-lou]

Hi Lindy

I went with my sister and a good friend, her sister and their teenage daughters. We went at the end of November for 3 nights and it was brilliant. We all fell in love with the place and still cant believe we actually went.

Loraine xx

ive pm'd you lorraine.

[smallworld]

Hi,

I wanted to reply last night to this but I was so wound up by major probs at home that I just sat and read that day's posts to restore equilibrium !

I f I hadn't had this place to come to, I would have been out walking the streets at 10 pm last night ( not as a sideline you understand !!) but just cos I wouldn't have had anywhere else to go. Because this place exists, I could put back my coat and come here instead.

I don't see closing this thread as censorship, if censorship existed on this forum we wouldn't be reading this thread

Hopefully we have all got back our 'krisma' and can continue as normal.......

 

wac

[call me jaded]

Just tip-toeing in whilst nobody's looking to say how much I wish I hadn't posted this thread.

 

I've only just had a moment or two in between endless clearing up to have a look beyond day three of nemo and baddad's Twelve Days. To say that I feel like the grouch that stole Christmas is just a little bit of an understatement. Sorry for being such a spoil sport.

 

I'm going to take a break from posting for a while, as I am out of step with the concensus on this forum on a number of topics. It gets a bit time-consuming editing my views into carefully worded statements, and benefits no-one.

 

So, Happy New Year to you all, and I'll be back in the New Year sometime just to read the Batcave, you understand, and not take part in any debate whatsoever.