Who does she think she is?

[Viper]

Just been to see Bens Pead to ask for melatonin. Well what can I say? She made me so bl**dy angry I could have swung for her.

 

She asked why we want melatonin. I explained that Ben doesn't sleep until 11/12 every night and he gets up at 8 and she asked how he copes at school, then, with a sarcastic tone said "oh thats right he doesn't go to school does he?" I said no I home educate. She then said so why do you need him to sleep earlier if he has no need to get up for school, is it just so you can get rid of him?

 

I said basically yes it is, I have him all day and I would like time to spend with my husband and maybe even have a night out now and again. No one wants to babysit a child that is awake until 12 wanting their mum to come home. He also needs to get more sleep, every child needs to sleep, she should know that.

 

What a total bi*ch. She then went on to say that he should be at school and how long do I intend to keep him at home. I told her I would HE for as long as Ben wants me to. What business is it of hers how I educate my son? He is perfectly happy, has a social life outside school hours and plays quite happily outside with his sister and a whole host of other kids. I only wish I had the guts to say that to her.

 

She also said that if he was at school they would be able to asses him because he would show his true self. At that point I said " that is not true at all, (as she is always pointing out) Ben is a bright boy and he is very able to mask his problems and let them out only at home." She couldn't answer that one.

 

Last time I saw her Ben sat on my lap with his head buried in my chest. Half way through she said "does he have to sit on your lap all the time, can't he sit on a chair, he is 5 now?" Err thats what I am here for lady, you tell me why he is like this.

 

Every time I see that woman I come away feeling like I have been trampled on, my parenting skills are questioned and I wonder if I am causing Bens problems. What right has she got to make me feel like cr*p?

[Paula]

<'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'>

 

F**k her viper to be blunt.

 

 

 

Youre a great mum what the hell does she know about it when yer get down to it.Shell be some jumped up old cow whoes probaly not got kids of her own but thinks shes an expert on it and looks down her toffee nose on us meare mortals giveing birth and bringing up our kids.

 

Thats why i hate these people thats why i dont bother seeing any of them any more coz i used to come away feeling like ###### too.

 

I know you know every ###### on this site knows that we dont cause autism through our parenting skills!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! we need to drill it into there thick skulls.

 

 

 

And in answer to yer question what gives her the right to make yer feel like this a few pigging letters after her name and a big fat pay packet.

 

###### to her.

 

My son is 12 and he still at times sits on my knee.So god help him with me as his mum.

 

I feel so angry for yer viper hence my little rant also.

[oxgirl]

Oh Viper, that makes me so angry for you, what an unfeeling and ill-informed woman!! Some people just don't understand home education or our reasons for wanting to do it, do they?? I HE'd for two years and there were many who thought they had the right to tell me straight I was doing the wrong thing for my son. You KNOW you are doing the right thing, and if this person doesn't understand then she should keep her opinions to herself

Don't let her get to you, just dismiss her as the ignorant person she is. Shame on her, she should know better!

 

~ Mel ~

[brooke]

Hi Viper

What a B###h i cant belive some drs can be so ######. I would of come away crying if id been spoken to like that. It sounds like she is judging you when she has no right. I would ask for a different dr or put in a complaint. People like her dont have a clue. We have to come up against people like this a lot i just wish they could get past their know it all attitudes. Hope you feel better soon. <'>

Brooke

[Guest flutter]

<'> <'>

can u go somewhere else?

daft q maybe but i know with other stuffs u can go outa area for treatment i not know how this all goes tho

go back to gp and ask?

C x

[Brook]

Have pm'd you.

 

Brook <'>

[col]

just hate people like that. Why on earth do people like that, have jobs like that.

[Bagpuss]

We had a similar experience with a school doctor Viper. Brought out the worst in me I'm afraid and I ended up being as rude back....DH sat by the door for a quick exit. I would be trying to find out if I could have my child referred to a different pead, she's sounds very rude and seems to lack understanding . Huge hugs hun <'> <'> <'>

[Lynden]

God Viper - what hope have parents got when you come across 'experts' with attitudes like that. Big hugs to you. Can you change paeds?

 

Lynne

[lorryw]

Sorry you had to deal with such an ignorant, insensitive, patronising @@@@@.

Ive had to deal with so many over the years that I always have another adult with me as backup. Its helpful to have a witness and they can step in when you are speechless with anger or close to tears.

Do these people actually realise the affect they have on parents who are having a hard time holding things together in the first place?

Viper, send her round to me, my son is 21 in a few weeks and still sits on my knee (whilst crushing his poor mother in the process) now and again.

Lorainexxx

[mel]

aww viper <'> <'>

 

I think i would get as much information on Autism as i possibly could (leaflets etc) thrust them under her nose, tell her to educate herself andmake a complaint about her horrible behaviour. She has absolutely no right to make you feel that way and definately no right to judge you.

 

<'>

[karin]

hi viper sending you these <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> what a horrible person she is what right has she to judge you she doesn't live with your child know how you feel for years me an hubby were sleep deprived by my 2 only sleeping 5 hours every nite this went on for 6 years and it kills you,no human can survive over long periods of sleep deprivation. did you get the melatonin? if you didn't go to your gp and demand it from him,last year we saw a specialist for the twins and the only good that came out of it was that he prescribed melatonin for the twins what a life saver it was and a year on they are still on it and it is still working for them and us,its great to be back in the land of the living,funny how we have to meet a lot of these so called ill informed experts along our road we travel (gettin philisophical) don't take any of her **** get along to your gp and sort this out now girl you owe it to yourself and your sanity keep smilin luv karin

[jen]

Some medical staff do not like patients asking for specific items eg melatonin I presume because it takes their power and control away of making the assessment, decision and prescribing the drug. With some drs you are better off approaching them saying your child has sleep problems and is there anything that he can take as this is effecting the quality of your relationship with your child and the whole family.

 

I know we have enough to cope with never mind thinking of the way we present information. (Maybe these people have AS traits and like things precise)

 

Jen

[UltraMum]

<'> <'> <'> Viper <'> <'> <'>

 

I would complain about her attitude to the hospital and also ask for a second opinion as her medical opinion appears to be clouded by her view of your son's social and educational situation.

[Viper]

We did get 1 months supply of melatonin but she said I would have to ask our GP if I can get it from him or I would have to go back and see her. I had to see my GP today as well so I asked him if I could get it from him in future and he said no GP is allowed by law to prescribe melatonin as it is not on the list of medicines that are approved by the medical council for gps to prescribe.

 

So the upshot of that is I will have to answer to HER every time I want more. Sod it I will buy it on the web.

[jlp]

I can't believe she spoke to you like that!

 

Firstly with regard to the melatonin - in our case it was us who were worried about giving ds#1 it and the consultant who really recommended. Reasons she gave were that he needs sleep to grow and dream and unwind and our bodies fix themselves at night (regenerate?) and secondly that having a child with AS is exhausting anyway and yes to be blunt you do need sometime on your own on a night just to be able to think straight and get your strength back for tomorrow - it's for the good of the child to have parents who can function so don't feel bad about needing some time on your own, we all do! Mine are 6 and 2 and in bed usually by 7.30 and that's for my sanity as well as them needing their sleep.

 

Secondly with regard to him sitting on your knee, I'm a strong believer that if your child needs you then pushing them away (ie by forcing them to sit on a chair) will ultimately make them need you more. I think if you're there for them when they need you then in their own time they will get the confidence to branch out by themselves - knowing that mum / dad is always there should they need them.

 

To be honest I don't think this woman is even worth the effort of re-educating - I'd complain and refuse to see her again and go down the route of a second opinion.

 

<'>

[Suze]

Viper, my son has melatonin prescribed by our gp, I asked did,nt it have to be prescribed by a pead and he said he had been authorised by the pead to prescribe it............sorry that woman was such a b*tch <'>

[aro]

our initial script was from the pead, you get a copy to give to your GP and so I then got repeats from my surgery. Had to get the hosp pharmacy to explain to our pharmacy where to buy it, but that's saying more about our pharmacy

[onlycrazygal]

corrrrrr bennnnnit viper love, change your paed, i couldnt take another post like that one.... the fact she feels your son would be better off in school is simply just here opinion is she an educational expert ??? perhaps she would have your child attend school and go through all the trauma, anxiety and good hard knocks to his self esteem like many others have resulting in blummin panic attacks like my son had ........im so glad hes home with me....

stuff em love, you know best, not them.....

hugs,

paula

[LizC]

Hi <'> I hear you!!! My son matthew is 6 and never sleeps either and it is usually 10/11/12 every night before he sleeps, it is so draining isn' t it!? hard on our marriage too. No one will give Matthew melatonin either!! the pychiatrist doesn't like medication!!

 

and how dare she tell you how to school your child! none of her business. my friend has just taken her daughter out of school to home school because she doesn't like the way kids are tested all the time.

 

just wanted to say there are othes that are going through what you are! <'>

[justamom]

then, with a sarcastic tone said "oh thats right he doesn't go to school does he?" I said no I home educate. She then said so why do you need him to sleep earlier if he has no need to get up for school, is it just so you can get rid of him?

 

I admire your honesty Viper, its hard admitting to someone who certainly does not understand that yes we need a few hrs to ourselves to unwind ourselves let alone have 5mins with our other half.

 

Why oh why do so called Professionals have to be so ###### rude, let him sit on a chair, why he's not hurting anyone - he was probably scared she sounds like a real dragon anyway!!!!

 

Every time I see that woman I come away feeling like I have been trampled on, my parenting skills are questioned and I wonder if I am causing Bens problems. What right has she got to make me feel like cr*p?

Just this past week the Senco told me that i might be contributing to keegans problems and i questioned myself and ended up in a right state, you aren't a problem and i know they make us feel like ###### but we are doing the best we can!!! I also wish that i could think more on my feet and give them a mouthful but i always think of things afterwards.....

 

Maybe its an idea to complain!!

Edited July 13, 2006 by justamom

[curra]

Viper,

that paed is no good, it's just incredible that she could be so nasty! If your son is not getting enough sleep it's a real problem that she can't ignore. I would ask the GP for a referral to another paed!

I get melatonin from my paed's secretary, I give her a ring, she asks the pead for his signature. He knows that without melatonin M can stay up until the next day. You have to tell your GP that you feel that she 's not sensitive to your problems related to your son's lack of sleep.

Most doctors that I have seen also wanted to express their opinion about education. I've grown a thick skin to be able to listen to them when they start asking questions and lecturing me on what I should and shouldn't do. They repeat themselves: " discuss this with the school, be firm with him, blah blah blah"- there would be no point argueing with them because they have the "medical authority", and it's just an advice, at home I have the parental authority....

 

<'> <'> Take care

Curra