Elanor

I always find that whenever I've got something to write (i'm in the middle of the DLA claim) just open up a new word doc, and just write whatever comes into your head and in whatever order it comes. Don't worry about punctuation and spelling - just write. Ideas will bounce off themselves - it'll be all over the place, but you can just go back later and put it into a sensible order. I never start a letter with the greeting - I do that last! - It just puts me off otherwise. Elanor

Thanks everyone, there's some really interesting replies. Loulou's post really shows how important it is not to jump to conclusions, although in the whole I'm still worried. I contacted the Council today, and found that the paper that will be considered by the Council's cabinet is still in draft, and a long way from publication. So, its an ideal time for me to write to the author of the report. If I can persuade any of our 80 or so member families to write to their councillors, we might actually have an effect on the policy as it develops (or not! I'm trying to be optimistic). I'd love to hear more views. Elanor

My LEA is looking into setting up a school for pupils who need emotional, social and behavioural support - otherwise described in our local rag as 'disruptive' pupils. Charmingly, the LEA spokesman said "We are trying to invest in a school locally to try to save some money" - so, it's probably not for the pupils' benefit then! I've got alarm bells going off with this, and would like to write (on behalf of our local Asperger's Parents Group, obviously with their agreement) to the council to express concerns/take advantage of the opportunity. I'm concerned that: Children with ASDs, who present with behavioural problems, might get sent to this school That there might be no specialist provision for autism That undiagnosed children will be sent to the school and treated as 'disruptive' rather than as special needs That vulnerable children with complex problems will be lumped together with all the genuine trouble-makers in the borough, and be exposed to bullying and every other disadvantage that comes with this That, as this is a long-term provision, bright children with ASD will suffer a restricted curriculum and reduced opportunities to study and take exams I'm struggling to find a good point. I'd love to hear people's view about schools like this - any ideas about the sort of points I should be making? Thanks Elanor PS I might sound like Mrs Angry here, but the letter will be reasonableness itself!!

Well done guys, and thanks for taking this on. Elanor

Hi Have you had a look at these threads about Risperdal/Risperidone? http://www.asd-forum.org.uk/forum/index.php?showtopic=4445 and http://www.asd-forum.org.uk/forum/index.php?showtopic=638 Elanor

Another thing that might come into play is a communication problem - particularly given your son's young age. He may simply believe that you already know that he is ill, and there is no need to tell you. This is a theory of mind porblem - he expects you to know how he is feeling/what he is thinking, without having to tell you. My son used to get really angry and say 'but you know I'm ill/tired/bored/hungry etc - and sometimes swore that he'd told me although he hadn't (and he really beieved that I must/should know). He has learned more as he's got older, but fundamentally he has an expectation that I can read his mind. Elanor

Mother Eve I stand corrected!! Interesting stuff. Elanor

MotherEve Good analysis there! I think everyone here takes care to consider our childrens' problems from all angles, and that can reasonably includes a careful consideration of medication. We no more want to be labelled as mothers looking to be absolved from blame, than we want to be called refridgerator mums. BTW - aren't fathers involved in child-rearing in Dr Ilina's world? Elanor

I feel this way too - and think I'm going to have to face it this weekend too. We're going 4 hours drive to visit friends we've known for 20 years, but hardly see now due to the distance. They have really active social lives, have lots of fun, just one (NT) child who doesn't seem to alter their lifestyle much. Also, whilst our son;s problems have made me and DH drop our careers, they've been forging ahead. Will we have anything to say to each other? When we talk about our son, it's like raining on their parade - you know, 'our son's got lots of freinds, does loads of activiites, is happy and likeable', to which I have to say' mine's got one friend, hardly ever does anything, and is medicated to control his stress and aggression'. Guess I'll probably not mention it! Just enjoy the wine!!!

Opal, if the doctor's main reason for not diagnosing AS is because it isn't evident at school, then I have to say your doctor doesn't know AS. Just look at this thread (if you've not already seen it): http://www.asd-forum.org.uk/forum/index.ph...owtopic=192&hl= Are you not entitled to a second opinion - and if so, can you find the name of someone local who specialises in ASDs? Too many doctors are amateurs when it comes to ASD. Elanor

quick question: Is a total lack of embarressment a trait of as? I don't think so - at least not one common to all people with AS. My son is cripplingly sensitive to anything that picks him out as unusual - eg being taken out of class for medical appointments, having any in-class support.

Hev I'm so sorry you're having such a tough time at the moment - I'm sending you some hugs, we're here for you Elanor <'> <'> <'>

MiN This is a shocking way to treat a child - and especially when his work clearly showed the problems that he is having with school (and rather well- expressed I think). They should have taken this as a sign that they need to radically step up their efforts to help your son, but instead they are treating him as a naughty child, and inappropriately punishing him with ridicule and group admonition. I'd take this really seriously - their behaviour is inexcusable in the circumstances of your son's AS, and even worse, they have made your son's school attendance problems even worse. In the first instance you could complain to the Head Teacher, copied to the Governor and LEA. Have you had an educational psychologist in yet - if not, what better excuse can you have for demanding one? Elanor

Hi Strange Girl This sounds to me like your son is having a range of problems which arise from his ASD - and the school environment is exacerbating those problems, and the school's interventions (whatever those might be) are not adequate to provide the support that he so clearly needs. The result is that your son is stressed and anxious, and pushed beyond his ability to cope, and then traumatised by being expected to go on. If the school says that the things that upset him wouldn't accept another child (ie and therefore its his own fault for being upset?), then they are simply turning a blind eye to their legal responsibility to provide an educative environment that meets his special needs. And what is their response? They blame and threaten you. I'm sorry that I'm not familiar with your other posts, so don't know what support you have, statement etc, but it seems to me that you have to take back the initiative and demand that the school accepts that it has a huge responsibility for the distress your son suffers, and it is their job to make things better. In the meantime, could you see a GP and get his view about your son's stress on record, so that you can forward that to the authorities when they accuse you of supporting school refusal? It might be best to get him signed off sick for a while? I hope things get better for you and your boy. Elanor

Annie You've got to go the distance on this - your fan club is watching

What wonderful news - well done for fighting so hard. Elanor

Well done - but the old boy is probably wondering what being good at art has to do with tantrums!

Last one, and then I switching the computer off 11. When the cats away the mice will play 20. Out of sight out of mind

2. One swallow does not make a summer I'M SUPPOSED TO BE WORKING

6. Pride goes before a fall 13. look before you leap

T's Mum You're not a failure, but there's nothing wrong in telling people that you're having problems - it's the first step to getting some help. Even if you don't want extra help, you mustn't feel bad about being stressed and unhappy in a situation that all but angels would find horrible. I've felt like you do, and felt guilty too, but you mustn't beat yourself up - you keep trying and loving, and that is what matters.

The skeptic in me is thinking 'quackery'. He seems to want quite a bit of our money too.

Hi Most schools are poor at picking up the signs of AS. So are lots of SALTs and ed Psychologists. My best advice is to read something good on AS (eg Tony Attwood) and see if the book is ringing any bells for you. Also, it is sheer ignorance to say that a child hasn't got AS unless he has obsessive behaviours. AS is part of a spectrum, and there are a range of behaviours exhibited to varying degrees. My son has Aspergers, but doesn't have obsessions - he's rather good at eye contact too. If you have concerns, get a referral to your local CAMHS - and try to find out if someone there has a specialism in the autistic spectrum (try your local NAS group). The signs of AS can be subtle, and get missed by lots of people, to the disadvantage of the child who deserves to be better understood. Elanor

I know what you mean - I seem to see AS everywhere. I think it's 'medical student' syndrome - diagnosing everyone with the last illness you studied. All the same, I spent the weekend with my cousin's family, and I swear her son is on the spectrum. Still, I've decided that if she hasn't got a problems with him, and he's happy and achieving things at school, then what's to point in saying anything?

Hi I suspect that most GPs would be reluctant to prescribe risperidone to a child, and that they are more likely to refer you to a specialist (paed or child psychiatrist). If you're already under the care of a specialist, then you would probably be better off contacting him/her. I can't tell you the hoops I had to go through before my son was finally prescribed, but I suppose every doctor has different requirements. Elanor