LittleRae

Hi Lindy-Lou It's worrying when any kid has to have anaesthetic, but it's likely she will hardly notice it. My DD had tonsils and adenoids out when she was 2. She was a little upset for half an hour after the op - but mostly because they wouldn't give her chicken nuggets and chips! It's more difficult when you're older - the 18 year old in the next room needed a week in hospital to recover, while my DD went home next day. <'> A

Happy Birthday - have a good one!

Happy Birthday Oracle. Enjoy it & try to relax! or A

Well done Caroline for not giving up. So pleased for you. It's great that you have the diagnosis before he starts school a

Hi Tylers-mum Don't know about this myself, but did a search on Amazon. It came up with a work-book which you go through with the child: Asperger's What Does It Mean to Me?: A Workbook Explaining Self Awareness and Life Lessons to the Child or Youth with High Functioning Autism or Aspergers by Catherine Faherty. The ISBN code is ISBN: 1885477597 It's a little price at ?20.65 for the hardback. You could ask if your library could get you a copy A

DS (10) wants to be a palaeontologist (since he was 2) and will work either in Montana or Mongolia (hasn't made his mind up yet).....oh, and at the weekends, he'll be a chef in his own restaurant - just so long as he doesn't have to touch the food! A

Hi I agree with previous posts. The situation is a little different in Ireland, but my son (10) is entitled to 5 hours a week 'resource' teaching during which time he attends another teacher to work on social skills, creative writing and typing. His handwriting has improved greatly over the past year, mostly due to weekly OT, but I don't think he could cope with the amount of writing to be done in secondary school, so we are thinking ahead. He also has 'part-use' of an assistant (5 hours per week) but as he would never accept this, she sits at his table with the other child she assists and generally reminds all 4 kids at the table to take out books, write down homework,etc. She also keeps an eye on him at break-times to prevent meltdowns. This works really well and after 6 months he has not mentioned her at all. I would push for the statement. He may not want the extra help at the moment, but these things take time to put into place and he could very well need the hours in the future. You could include social skills and anger-management (if available) and typing is a valuable skill for anyone, whether he uses it for school or not. A

Who I Am ------Jessica Andrews If I live to be a hundred And never see the seven wonders That'll be alright If I don't make it to the big leagues If I never win a Grammy I'm gonna be just fine 'Cause I know exactly who I am I am Rosemary's granddaughter The spitting image of my father And when the day is done My momma's still my biggest fan Sometimes I'm clueless and I'm clumsy But I've got friends that love me And they know just where I stand It's all a part of me And that's who I am So when I make a big mistake When I fall flat on my face I know I'll be alright Should my tender heart be broken I will cry those teardrops knowin' I will be just fine 'Cause nothin' changes who I am I am Rosemary's granddaughter The spitting image of my father And when the day is done My momma's still my biggest fan Sometimes I'm clueless and I'm clumsy But I've got friends that love me And they know just where I stand and It's all a part of me And that's who I am I'm a saint and I'm a sinner I?m a loser, I'm a winner I'm steady and unstable I'm young but I am able I am Rosemary's granddaughter The spitting image of my father And when the day is done My momma's still my biggest fan Sometimes I'm clueless and I'm clumsy But I've got friends that love me And they know where I stand It's all a part of me And that's who I am I am Rosemary's granddaughter The spitting image of my father And when the day is done My momma's still my biggest fan Sometimes I'm clueless and I'm clumsy But I've got friends that love me And they know where I stand It's all a part of me And that's who I am That is who I am

Hi Although not in the UK, I found the fact that we received a dx very helpful. DS, now 10, was viewed as 'just a little eccentric' and because he was bright and coped fairly well, it was expected that he conform to rules & regulations and fit in with the other kids. While services have not exactly poured in since dx 20 months ago, I have found it a useful tool at school to have allowances made in certain areas and to access resources he would not otherwise have been offered. I have to say also that it has changed the way I deal with him and now pretty much tolerate the little idiosyncracies which drove me nuts for years . In our case, the dx was a complete shock as we had not even considered that anything was amiss. I realise that we are in a different situation to you, but I also found that when we told DS of the dx 2 months ago, it seemed to change him - we've had many reports of how happy he now seems compared to before him knowing. A

Hi Can definitely recommend 'Can I tell you about Asperger Syndrome' by Jude Welton. used this recently with my 10 year old. It was very basic - I have been saving it to use since he was 8! A

That struck me too. Recently we took DS ice skating with some friends as a birthday treat. For a child who cannot walk 10 steps without injuring himself, DS has taken to ice skating & roller blading really well, so we take him as often as we can. For the first time in 10 years my son was better than all his friends at something. I couldn't help the tears when I saw him skate over to offer help to his friend who had fallen over for the 3rd time. (felt a little guilty too, when I took so much pleasure in it - it's not something his sporty friends are used to, accepting help from DS! ) A

I've given up worrying about DS & his food - it's a limited diet but it's workable. It's his NT 3 yr old sister I worry more about - bread & butter sandwiches & petits filous, sometimes chicken nuggets. DS however has to blow or sniff his food and loves to pour milk or coke on everything!! A

trouble is that when I left home I got glandular fever and my immune system took a real bashing, I went down with all those nasty childhood illnesses like chicken pox (aged 23 ) one after the other - haven't been nearly as healthy in my adult life. Zemanski Same here - glandular fever has a lot to answer for. It's been more than 20 years since I had it, and my health still isn't as good as it used to be. With regards the kids, DS usually doesn't catch things. His excessive sick leave has usually been because of constipation & 'related issues' (which we euphemistically term 'stomach bug in the notes for school ) A

Hi Paula <'> <'> <'> <'> Been there - horrible, isn't it. I think if possible you should tackle one problem at a time, and since the not going/leakage is a health issue, I would concentrate on this first. After 4 years of this, visiting doctors, consultants & dosing with laxatives, I finally let them take my then 9 yr old DS to hospital last november. Over 3 weeks he was 'cleared out' and then re-trained. The training is ongoing - I have them take him to the toilet every 2-3 hours at school & he still takes laxatives each night. I have tried them all and only movicol works for him. I had put the hospital off many times but am so glad I gave in, both for ourselves & DS. It was traumatic at first but he got over it. He was made to co-operate with nurses, who just wouldn't take no for an answer & were prepared to wait all day if necessary for him to perform. Ask your GP to refer you to somebody. With luck they may also be able to tackle the phobia, but you might find that as the toilet becomes a part of everyday life, there will be no pain associated with it and the fear will lessen. Good luck A

First time I bought 3 albums - one was Elvis,Everly Brothers (Cathy's clown) & Mario Lanza (Mum 'owned' the radio & never heard proper teenage music in our house till i was fifteen. Mind you, still love them all today A

Well, there goes the most productive hour of my day!! This was a real toughie & couldn't really narrow it down to one per category. Oh and my luxury item would be Richard Gere (or Sebastian Spence if he's not available!) Makes me cry - Nobody Knows - Kevin Sharp / Have I told you lately.... - Van Morrison / I hope you dance - Lee Ann Womack Gets me dancing - Crazy Little Thing Called Love - Queen Brings back memories - Paul Simon - Rene & Georgia Magritte All time fave - Let it Be Me - Everly Brothers - in fact ANYTHING by the Everly Brothers (& they could all go in category 1 too!) Hate to admit it - All those cutesie songs from the sixties - I love them all!

Have a great birthday Hev. Must get ready for the party A

Hev <'> My first reaction was 'what's it got to do with him?' It's not like you're 5 and you ladies can't be friends just cos he doesn't want to be.... Good friends are hard to come by. I would ignore his comments. If you and SIL remain friends that's nobody's business but yours. I hope your SIL tells him the same thing. I expect if they got back together he'd just assume you'd be friends again? Good luck A

I think you're right to be upset at having them foisted upon you both with no notice. Something like this needs preparation so it doesnt backfire. My DS is due to start this next week with 3 other (non-AS) kids. was due to happen last week but teacher involved postponed it 1) as she knew I'd want to know beforehand (had a chat about 'things she should know' first.. , and 2) so that she could take D alone 10 mins each day to get to know him a little. (this lady also knows him but when she met him in the corridor last week & said 'here's my little friend' he turned to her & said 'no, you're not my friend'!! Thought she'd better renew his acquaintance... I also didnt tell him it was anger management (that wd be enough to start him off!!). instead I told him it was to help him recognise when situations get too much for him and to help deal with them - went down far better. Good luck A

Simon Thinking of you & your family at this time <'> A

Thanks for this SG. DS has no school today, so I'll try them out A

Thanks SG DS is 10. He's quite good at Maths according to teacher, but he has himself convinced he's useless as he's not quite as good as in other subjects. He had a problem with compound multiplication last term, and now hits the roof whenever he's asked to do Maths. I thought games with Maths might help. When he was younger he used the Jump Ahead series which he loved. Any ideas greatly appreciated A

Daisy Can I suggest one of two things? You could either approach her on her own and ask why is she being so friendly to you - that might start the ball rolling, depending on her reaction. If she admits it and apologises it could help you to move on. Otherwise, would you see a counsellor about it? It may not affect you in your day-to-day life, but you don't want to get that feeling each time you see her. A counsellor could help you deal with the emotions and this could be helpful if (God forbid!) any of your kids are in this position in the future. Good luck A

Also have this problem with the PC, but not playstation. The playstation was a Christmas present and Santa sent a note to say it was for weekends only & school holidays - DS has never even asked to play during the week (unless it's a special occasion, e.g. when friends are over). Good man, Santa. It never occurred to me to limit his time on the PC as he had lots of educational games at the time, which he loved. For the past 2 years however all he has played is Operation Genesis (Jurassic Park) and the new craze is Earth 2190, which he plays for hours each day. As he's so quiet when he's playing, it's easy to forget about him I'm currently on the look-out for more educational stuff for him, particularly Maths, if someone has any ideas A

OPooh So sorry to hear your sad news. Been there myself. Don't forget to take time to grieve, both yourself and DH. We named our baby and I find that has helped over the years. Thinking of you <'> A