pingu Report post Posted January 5, 2007 im sorry for been down. ive been trying really hard to let it all go over my head. I cant do it any more. Kids are playing up. hubbys in pain and is snappy. im trying to hold a family together that dont seem to give a ###### how i feel. Im sorry for been selfish, but i feel like quitting. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Karen A Report post Posted January 5, 2007 <'> <'> So sorry life is so tough at the momment.Hang in there.Karen. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
stressedmumto2 Report post Posted January 5, 2007 Sorry to hear you are having a tough time,hope things get better for you soon, take care <'> <'> <'> <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
brooke Report post Posted January 5, 2007 <'> <'> im sorry your down i oftern feel like this too. I like having an early night with a good book (i sound about 90!!!) but this works for me sometimes!! Take care Brooke Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bagpuss Report post Posted January 5, 2007 Pingu <'> <'> Wish I could say more, take care <'> <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
teaker1s Report post Posted January 5, 2007 taking personal time out each day is important,take time for yourself and also stand up for yourself. be prepared to say I want. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bikergal Report post Posted January 6, 2007 I've been where you are and probably will be again, but hang in there and don't give up. You sound like you could do with some time out for you, even if it's just a walk in the woods or whatever takes your fancy. Â Please take care, feel free to pm me anytime. <'> <'> <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lynyona Report post Posted January 6, 2007 <'> <'> Pingu <'> <'> Â Sorry your having a tough time i often feel like you do now and it is hard to get time out i know it may sound silly but its time like that im glad that i work part time and can just walk away and let them get on with it,usually its calmer when i get back but not always. Â Â Â lynn Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
reuby2 Report post Posted January 6, 2007 (edited) I'm really sorry for how things are at the mo, I've felt like that quite a bit in the last year and have started to realise that I think I deal with things well, am patient etc but inside I am very stressed, so I am starting to try to actively relax , because even when i appear to be realxing (trying to read etc) My mind is still going round and my body is still very uptight. So I'm trying to do a few relaxation exercises etc. I really hope things improve and that Hubby starts to feel a bit more happy too <'> <'> Edited January 6, 2007 by reuby2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
oxgirl Report post Posted January 6, 2007 Pingu, you're certainly not being selfish for wanting something for yourself and for wanting to be appreciated. It's just awful when you feel like you're working your guts out for everyone else and no-one seems to notice your needs. Â It sounds like you need to find something that can be for you, even if it's just putting your feet up with a book and letting evgeryone else get on with it. Rest assured that your efforts ARE appreciated, even if it's not obvious. They'd soon notice if you weren't there doing everything you can for them. Â Hold on tight Pingu and don't forget to give yourself the credit you deserve and don't forget to take care of YOURSELF as well, you deserve to be happy as well! <'> <'> <'> Â ~ Mel ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
slaphead Report post Posted January 6, 2007 Hang in there Pingu, I have constant pain myself because of a spinal injury and I can be a right Nazi at times, I don't know how my missus hasn't shot me before now! Â Like yourself, she's the strong one who keeps us going, without her, our family would be in serious trouble. Â Our thoughts are with you. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kathrynh Report post Posted January 6, 2007 <'> <'> <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hev Report post Posted January 6, 2007 pingu i often feel like you then i have a better day and i got some strength from somewhere,agree with others to try and take time for yourself but when im down i dont feel like doing anything then i feel worse,i describe it like im on a hamsters wheel and i cant get off,doing same thing day in day out but when i do have time to myself i feel so much better,i love reading,sort of blank everything out. take care of yourself love hev xx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
curra Report post Posted January 6, 2007 Pingu  Like others have said, take time out for yourself and relax or do something that you enjoy. Leave time for reading what you like every day. I've often felt like you , I never get any recognition for my efforts and it has taken me years to make my son understand that after 9 pm I switch off and there's no screaming or tantrum that will change that as my brain needs to rest. He still forgets it but I don't Mums also need tu unwind if we are to look after our family for decades.  Take care of yourself. <'> <'>  Curra Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JsMum Report post Posted January 6, 2007 im sorry for been down. ive been trying really hard to let it all go over my head. I cant do it any more. Kids are playing up. hubbys in pain and is snappy. im trying to hold a family together that dont seem to give a ###### how i feel. Im sorry for been selfish, but i feel like quitting. Hang on in their hunny, its really hard for you and its really exhausting but its a sign you do need to maybe have a short break some how, is there any possibilty family could come and help you or some form of respite, your batteries are worn down and you need to charge them up, if at all possible try and plan a short break, if its impossible then try and get some you time in the home away from the others and let them get on with it for a few hours while you take time out, a bath a cuppa tea and a some relaxation. Â I really hope that you do carry on, giving up doesnt make it disapear, it just gets harder, so please just tonight get some you time and try and let your parnter/family/friend take over for just a few hours. Â you need a break and then you can see more clearly and positive, its really hard to see that when where warn out. Â JsMum Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JsMum Report post Posted January 6, 2007 here is lots of these as well  <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'>   none of us here want you giving up, we care about you and want you to be well and we are here for you.  JsMum Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dooday24 Report post Posted January 6, 2007 <'> <'> <'> <'> dont give up love donnaxxx <'> <'> <'> <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
reuby2 Report post Posted January 7, 2007 <'> How are things today? Hope you have a good day <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pingu Report post Posted January 7, 2007 Hi Everyone. Â Thankyou all so much for your kind words of support. I know i have said it before but it is easier knowing i am not alone..... we are not alone... Â The problem the other night was it just all came to a head. I was trying my best to keep things calm and happy, and then it all went to pot. I discovered that my daughter (whos 9) is still self harming even though i have begged and pleaded, for her to stop. The eldest was been his usual self and kieran was having one meltdown after another. Steve is suffering from huge amounts of pain, and the morphine is no longer working. And i just popped. Â Im feeling a little better today, although nothing really has changed, my family help where they can but as for respite i cant really do that as my mum is suffering also with a crumbling spine, and dad works full time. I am loathed to go back to the psychologists because i am sick of them telling me that all our problems are caused by anxiety. Â Anyway thanks so much im relived to know that we are all in the same boat. Â Thankyou from the bottom of my heart. Â shaz Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
oxgirl Report post Posted January 7, 2007 Take good care of yourself shaz. I'm glad that things are feeling a bit more positive today. Hope you have a really good week. <'> Â ~ Mel ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mother in Need Report post Posted January 7, 2007 "i am sick of them telling me that all our problems are caused by anxiety". Â I am soooo sick of that as well, whatever it is, the cause according to the GP is always stress. And though stress will aggrevate things, it doesn't always cause it... it has stopped me going as well. I hope you're feeling a bit better Pingu! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
reuby2 Report post Posted January 7, 2007 Thinking of you Pingu and hope you have a better time this week <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
forbsay Report post Posted January 7, 2007 thinking of you. <'> <'> <'> <'> <'>  take care  forbsay Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ellisisamazing Report post Posted January 7, 2007 Hi Everyone.  Thankyou all so much for your kind words of support. I know i have said it before but it is easier knowing i am not alone..... we are not alone...  The problem the other night was it just all came to a head. I was trying my best to keep things calm and happy, and then it all went to pot. I discovered that my daughter (whos 9) is still self harming even though i have begged and pleaded, for her to stop. The eldest was been his usual self and kieran was having one meltdown after another. Steve is suffering from huge amounts of pain, and the morphine is no longer working. And i just popped.  Im feeling a little better today, although nothing really has changed, my family help where they can but as for respite i cant really do that as my mum is suffering also with a crumbling spine, and dad works full time. I am loathed to go back to the psychologists because i am sick of them telling me that all our problems are caused by anxiety.  Anyway thanks so much im relived to know that we are all in the same boat.  Thankyou from the bottom of my heart.  shaz    ((((PINGU))))) Hi, I'm new! Hope things get better for you! xxx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
smiley Report post Posted January 7, 2007 Pingu <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Platefull of Love Report post Posted January 8, 2007 I think most of us have felt the same at times, so keep at it, we are all behind you <'> <'> <'> <'> Does your daughter get any support for the self harming?, it must be really hard to deal with <'> <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nellie Report post Posted January 8, 2007 Pingu, <'> <'> <'> Â Hope things improve soon. Â Nellie <'> <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pingu Report post Posted January 8, 2007 Does your daughter get any support for the self harming?, it must be really hard to deal with  Hi there.  The short answer to that is no !!. I have tried and failed to get this problem recognised with the professionals that are involved with my daughter. all i keep getting told is that she is anxious. They told us the same thing with our eldest son, and probably would have pinned the blame on anxiety for kieran had his problems been less obvious. One pschychologist acutually asked us if she got "sexual gratification" from what she does??????????????? she was 7 at the time. !!!! How the hell am i supposed to answer that ??? All i know is that she constantly picks her skin until it bleeds and when i confront her about it she moves onto less obvious areas like her gums. Which at present are sore and green yet still she picks away. Her leg is a mass of scars and her arms are following suit.  I am sat here feeling pretty much as i did the other night in a state of complete confusion as to how i can help all of my children with their very individual needs whilst trying to keep my head above murky water. I am thinking of writing it all down and posting it to the psychologists, as i know that if i phone them i will not be able to "say" what the problems are. I am so scared they will see this as our doing and place them on the at risk register, afterall they all conform to the school standards and therefore this is classed as a home problem, yet when they are at home they worry constantly about school. Its a catch 22 situation for which i havent got a clue to start.  I feel like i am on a very slippery rope and want to keep them all here and teach them at home, but deep inside i know that will not help as there are many problems that neeed to be confronted. To be honest i havent a clue what im doing, and right now it hurts to even think about how they are feeling.  But thanks again for all your words of support. I just cant see the light at the end of y=the tunnel. What makes it worse is that it seems that the eldest is not happy unless there is confrontation. and i so hate confrontaion. All we every seem to do is bribe them, as that is the only thing that works. Everyday is like battling with the unknown, and i cant even remeber how things got this bad?  Thanks again. sorry for the extended moan (again)  shaz Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
oxgirl Report post Posted January 8, 2007 Oh shaz. <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> Â ~ Mel ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dooday24 Report post Posted January 8, 2007 dont give up love donnaxx <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
elun1 Report post Posted January 8, 2007 Sorry just read this as got back from holiday yesterday. Hope you are OK Pingu. Sending you lots of <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bagpuss Report post Posted January 8, 2007 Pingu <'> <'> <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites