**Debs** Report post Posted December 7, 2006 Thought it about time to introduce myself after lurking/nosing on the forum for a couple of hours My name is debbie and i live with my other half and 4 sons (andrew 11, nathan 7 and liam and luke who are 5) andrew (who we havent got a diagnosis for yet) has been seen to have autistic traits but no one will put this onto paper. He was first seen at the age of 3 by the paediatrician and his latest reveiw is next week. He began school life on a statement but was the 'worst' child they had ever had at his first school. Wouldnt sit still, no sense of danger, no eye contact, no social awareness ... on his statement it says he has social emotional and behavioral difficulties grrrrrrrrrrr. we moved him schools and the next one handled him extremely well to the fact he started to show his intellegence but still had his old problems. Juniors was a nightmare exclusion after exclusion and not fullfilling his statemented needs, this was a time when i could have really needed you lot it was so frustrating. anyway to cut a long story short he ended up at a special school for behavioural problems and has now regained his self esteem and in school is only having a few problems. He loves the structure and the fact he is in a class of 7 with 1 teacher and 2 assistants (who wouldnt excell). We are now setting up the process of getting him back to mainstream with the RIGHT support for senior school next year. We have had enough years now with no support, no diagnosis and the cr*p at home... when he is at home it is always a war zone!! His brother N has now decided he wants to go to andrews school due to the fact it is 'better' than his and is trying his hardest to get there. He has managed to secure a statement and a few legal and illegal exclusions in his quest which is more frustrating than before as we know what and why he is doing this. He has also started the no bed time thing (which isnt copied from his brother as we were told because andrew goes to bed he cant be autistic but once in bed andrew sleeps from anything from 2 hours a night to 8). I could fill a whole page but i must keep it short hehe. thanks for all the useful info i have found so far and i am convinced there will be more to be had. This forum is great i am so glad i found it Thanks again Debs x Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baddad Report post Posted December 7, 2006 Hi debs and all other newbies...... I'll make my usual apology for tardiness - i only ever remember to say 'ello' when it's at the top of the new topics thread! Glad you all found us, and I hope the site is a useful for you all as it has been for me... L&P BD Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bagpuss Report post Posted December 7, 2006 Warm welcome to Shamu, Sunnyme, Jenimap and Debs Take care <'> Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dooday24 Report post Posted December 7, 2006 welcome all Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tighna Report post Posted December 17, 2006 Hi My name is Mark, I have Aspergers, along with a few other Neurological conditions (Tourettes/Dyspraxia to name a couple). I am 47 years old, and have only understood about Aspergers for the past 4 or 5 years. Once I accepted that I was an Aspie, a lot of things started to become a lot clearer, especially my behaviour , and some of the comments I come out with. Anyway, I am looking forward to discussions with other Aspies, and people who are affected by it. Mark Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bagpuss Report post Posted December 17, 2006 Hi Mark and welcome to the forum Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
phoebe Report post Posted December 19, 2006 HEy Mark - welcome to the forum XX Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
splosh Report post Posted December 21, 2006 Hi everyone - I am Sue and I live in Hertfordshire with my DH, DS R (8, AS) and DD E (7). We are lucky enough to have a statement for R and he is in a support base attached to a mainstream school. We are lucky that the support he receives was described in the school's recent Ofsted as "expert" and they are absolutely wonderful people. Now we are looking at the rather frightening prospect of finding a suitable secondary school - we are finding if the schools within a 50-mile radius can cope with his AS, they can't manage his intelligence level. We are already bracing ourselves for a fight! Have been a quiet 'observer' on the forum, picking up lots of great tips for nearly a year now, so apologies for being so rude and not introducing myself! Hoping to join in a bit more now and in the new year! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kathryn Report post Posted December 21, 2006 Hiya splosh, Good time of year to join. Glad your son is getting so much support - are you sure you live in Hertfordshire?? Look forward to chatting to you here, K x Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PW66 Report post Posted December 24, 2006 Hi All, I'm a returning new oldie Various things have kept me away from participating in the forum for quite some time now. I'm a single parent of a 9yo son, who has autism and epilepsy. We live in the NE England with our cross staffy pup! I see some familar names about, and look forward to getting to know the rest of you. Paula Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bagpuss Report post Posted December 24, 2006 Big warm welcome Sue and Paula <'> Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nellie Report post Posted December 24, 2006 A warm welcome to all new members. Nellie xx Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Letum Report post Posted January 3, 2007 Ohh! You have the Kebab-King bunny! Im Letum from the North East (UK) and I am 20 years old I have Asperge's, I was diagnosed not very long ago. I also suffer from silightly bi-polar depression, but I dont let it get me down. Anyway, glad to be here. Hello Everyone! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Karen A Report post Posted January 3, 2007 Hi Letum welcome to the forum.The people here are a good bunch-very well informed and willing to help.Karen Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Deedee Report post Posted January 4, 2007 Hi Everyone I've been lurking for ages and finally got round to joining just before xmas.It's taken til now for me to get a quiet moment to post I'm Denise and mum to 3 boys youngest of whom has ASD,APD,speech and language delay and various other bits and bobs but he's just our M! He's now just turned 8 and although every day is unpredictable to say the least I think we now finally see that there are also some positive aspects in our lives due to his differences as well as the usual ups and downs associated with our special kids.. We've had the usual fight to get his statement and ended up after nearly 4 years with 12.5hrs per week which we are grateful for but now revving up to fight for a special school or more help as he's starting to struggle in mainstream. My middle son has a spinal problem so is in a bodybrace for 23 hrs a day also which doesnt really help when M is in meltdown mode!My days like yours are filled with appointments and phonecalls and stress in between lol but although sometimes we feel like we are taking 2 steps forward and one step back we are making progress. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bagpuss Report post Posted January 5, 2007 Hi Letum and Deedee, warm welcome to the forum. I've found it to be invaluable, and wouldn't be without it now. Take care <'> Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RedR Report post Posted January 30, 2007 Just a very quick introduction to say hi to you all. My name is Kath and I'm Mum to Ro (11), Evan (5) Daniel (3) and Robin (14 months). Daniel was diagnosed as ASD last year just before his third birthday and we are now just beginning the statementing process. Looking forward to chatting Kathx Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lancastrian Report post Posted January 30, 2007 I hadn't spotted this so thought that as I'm a relatively new skin here I really should make some sort of effort. I'm 18, live in the Ribble Valley area of Lancashire and have been diagnosed with AS. Interests include geography, libertarian politics and photography. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bid Report post Posted January 30, 2007 Welcome to the forum, Lancastrian Bid Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
fairynormal Report post Posted January 30, 2007 Hi I'm Sam and have been pointed this way by tighna (Mark). We know each other from a Tourette Syndrome forum I run. As I said, I'm Sam and my son Isaac is a very complex child He has Aspergers, Tourette's, OCD, severe anxieties, ADHD, motor learning difficulties and sensory integration dysfunction. It seems like every few months something else gets added to the list. Things are not good for us at the moment but I am sure I will elaborate on that frequently in other posts. To cut a long story short he is currently excluded from school (his 3rd week now) and I am finding 24/7 life with him extremely hard going. I love him to bits but he is so 'trying' 99% of the time. Anyway, that's us ! Thanks for having me Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tighna Report post Posted January 30, 2007 Hi Fairynormal (Sam) Glad to see you have found us. I am sure you'll get a lot of support from this forum. Welcome Mark xx Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kathryn Report post Posted January 30, 2007 Wow, lots of new members since I last looked in! Welcome to everyone who's joined this year so far - look forward to chatting to you. Kathryn x Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bagpuss Report post Posted February 2, 2007 Warm welcome to Kath, Lancastrian and Sam Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Luigi Report post Posted February 5, 2007 Hi everyone, I've been thinking about joining a forum that deals with aspergers for some time, so it was great when I found this one. The site looks really alive with lots of recent posts. I was self diagnosed with AS a couple of years ago after our Relate marriage councillor suggested it to us. When we went home that day and googled 'asperger syndrome', it was a real shock to me that all of these web sites seemed to be talking about me. Lots of the symptoms seemed to fit. I knew straight away that I had AS to some degree, and my wife agreed. My wife didn't know whether this was good news or bad. At last she had some recognition that what she had been upset about for all these years wasn't in her head (I had told her it was). But because the sites said there was no cure, it was very upsetting for her particularly. I didn't really feel any different, apart from the fact that I was reading all these accounts from partners of AS sufferers that tied in almost exactly to what my wife had been telling me for years. Therefore, although I still didn't feel any guilt for making her life a misery for years, I knew by 'mechanical reasoning' that it must be true. Through my GP I had three visits to see a psychiatrist and psychologist at a local mental health clinic, and what a waste of time that was. In the waiting room I was surrounded by people who obviously had severe mental health problems, and I felt as though I was in the wrong place. The psychologist told me that, considering the severity of the cases he deals with daily, he couldn't diagnose me with AS because of how normal I was in comparison (not the exact words, but you get my drift). So I'm not diagnosed as AS, but i know I have it (although not as far down the spectrum as some people that I've read about). My marriage of 23 years was totally on the rocks two years ago, and has been up and down since the self diagnosis. Recently it's been a little better, but for how long? The problem is this...I know now that I haven't supported my wife emotionally (in family disputes etc), and I haven't had any empathy towards her (like when her mum died), and I've never trusted her judgement (for some reason I'd rather believe a complete stranger). But I don't feel any guilt. I want to feel some guilt, but I just don't. I want to break down and get upset about the past, but something inside me is stopping me doing so (some sort of defence mechanism). Does anybody else feel the same way? I know it sounds too simplistic, but if I could feel some guilt, and show my wife that I feel bad about the past, then we might be able to draw a line under the past and move on. I've read quite a lot about lack of empathy etc, but cannot find much information on guilt. Has anyone got any views? This is my first post, so i hope I haven't rambled on too much. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kathryn Report post Posted February 5, 2007 Hi Luigi and welcome to the forum. There are many adult members here with AS, diagnosed and undiagnosed, and relationships often come up in discussion. Your experience of being "too normal" for a diagnosis sounds depressingly familiar. Can I suggest that you copy what you have posted here and start a new topic in the Help and Advice section? I think it will be more visible there so hopefully more people will see it and respond. Kathryn x Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
allsetuk Report post Posted February 7, 2007 Hello everyone, i am a newbie here, my son recieved his official diagnosis last week after an intense year and half of observation and assessments in his homelife and school. He has been diagnosed with Aspergers, ADD issues and sleep disorder which hopefully can be remedied with Melatonin. Its all huge at the moment and i feel there is a lot of complex technical jargon and medical information that if i wasnt clued up (by reading websites and talking to people ) and im not really sure where to go from here. I am a single parent and have dedicated myself to my son who is 4 and half but acts about 7 in some ways and most people think he is much older and always have because he appears very knowledgeable and full of facts and exceedingly strong minded and with strong opinions on all sorts of thing. He has done very well at disguising and being devious to cope with things he cant get his head around and this could easily be overlooked if you didnt live with him. Luckily goes to a good school where he is in a small class with strict rules and he has flourished here and whilst has been a challenge to teach he seems to have connected well with his teacher who was his nursery teacher too, she moved up with him into Reception Class. She even came with me to the case assessment and took an afternoon of school to support me. The hospital said i had done an amazing job with him and make it look very easy but they are fully aware that it is not easy...... just my "normality" because i have always been on my own with him. I have very little in the way of family but what i do have is some elderly grandparents who have always insisted my son is just naughty and a show off (when he spends half or more of the visit hiding behind the table/sofa or chair because they have told him he is an idiot !) and that i am not hard enough on him........which in the past i have been but i soon realised the naughty step did nothing but affect his self esteem and make things ten times worse and the friends i have told have had an odd reaction and i wondered if anyone else had experienced this? ........people seem almost getting cross that somehow my son has been pigeon holed as a high functioning autistic at a young age and that labelling children is totally wrong. If i had a penny for everytime someone had said to me, that there is nothing wrong with him from what i can see.............i feel totally bemused and confused, surely isnt it better to help him now with social stories and understanding. This is the attitude i get ...the following comments are an example of what i am talking about "like are we supposed to think he's a genious for suggesting that we bolt shelves to the wall and put cupboard locks in our houses? " If i have plucked up the courage to tell my freinds they say to me "Well My kids also climb the sofa as do all other kids who come to my house, including those who are older than Your son. They all hate scratchy labels, tight head holes, itchy patterns on the inside of t-shirts, love routine, need bribery to get their hair cut, etc. etc. As for boys whacking each other, this is what they have been created to do, fight for a princess, fight for their country, defend their livlihood, they're BOYS." I feel like no one takes me seriously !! Would love to hear anyones take on this ...but be kind ....lol!! im feeling fragile after all this external negativity Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Karen A Report post Posted February 7, 2007 Hi Allsetuk welcome to the forum.I have a son Ben who is 8.He has DCD with social communication difficulties.He appears very similar to your son.I have also had similar comments to the ones you mention-made usually by well meaning friends who don't get it.I am certain you will find plenty of people here who understand your situation well.It is great that the school are supportive. The crew here are very well informed and have all had fragile times. <'> <'> Regards Karen. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jayne Report post Posted February 8, 2007 Hi everyone my name is jayne and my husbands name is Alex, with have two children Danielle who is 16 and NT and Louis who is 6 and has PDD - NOS. he was diagnosed about 1 year ago. jayne xx Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
taggie Report post Posted February 8, 2007 Hi Everyone, registered on the forum six months ago, have made frequent visits, but am ashamed to say that this is my first post.I live in Liverpool and have two sons, one aged nine with Aspergers syndrome and a seventeen year old with dyspraxia, who we feel is probably also on the outer edges of the autistic spectrum though he's never recieved a formal diagnosis.Life is never dull in our home, we sometimes feel that we live in a parralell universe to our families and freinds but despite the challenges, we love our boys to bits and see many good things in their differant ways of experiencing the world. It's been good to read your posts and to see that many of you have similar issues to us. Taggie xx Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kathryn Report post Posted February 8, 2007 Hi jayne and taggie, welcome to the forum. Kathryn X Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bagpuss Report post Posted February 8, 2007 Warm welcome Taggie, Jayne, Allsetuk and Luigi Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
allsetuk Report post Posted February 10, 2007 thank you Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
annie Report post Posted February 10, 2007 A big warm welcome to all our new members Annie xx Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
taggie Report post Posted February 10, 2007 A big warm welcome to all our new members Annie xx Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
taggie Report post Posted February 10, 2007 Thankyou all for your warm welcomes !! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mumble Report post Posted February 16, 2007 Hi , I'm a 27 year old female. I was diagnosed last week with Asperger syndrome after over a years struggle to get an appointment to see someone who was a specialist in ASDs. During the past year I have been given appointments with general counsellors and psychiatrists who knew nothing about Aspergers as proven by their saying I could not possibly have Aspergers because I am intelligent (I am working on my PhD ? AKA being able to fixate on my interest), and that I was lying about my difficulties . During this year, I have found reading the posts on this forum an invaluable source of support ; I was scared to join before because I kept wondering whether the psychiatrists might actually be right, and then I would be wasting everyone's time. I?m not sure how I'm supposed to feel about my diagnosis. It didn't come as a surprise and actually in many ways it was a relief (I know that probably sounds strange). It wasn?t until today when I had to complete a form for my university and tick that this is 'lifelong' that I was unhappy about the diagnosis (unhappy probably isn't the best word here; I was told at my diagnosis that as part of my Aspergers I have Alexithymia (if anyone knows much about this, I would really approaciate any information) which helps to explain why I've always found it impossible to describe how I feel or how others might feel about things). I'm hoping that now I have a diagnosis I will be able to get some help with the things I find difficult (and to understand why I haven't found it easy to get on with other adults in a workplace ? I am a qualified teacher). What help have other adults here had (or am I hoping for too much)? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baddad Report post Posted February 17, 2007 Hi all newbies, and welcome aboard! I tend to post this about once every six months 'cos unless this thread is at the top of the new posts I always forget Mumble - not sure this is going to be very reassuring, but as far as adult support goes there's not a huge amount out there... It's probable that you've just been given the most valuable self help tool you'll get - the confimation that you are what you thought you were and that there is a root to the difficulties you've experienced that is not just down to you being 'flawed' in some way... It doesn't sound much, but over a period of time it is hugely empowering, because you start to realise that you are not experiencing the world as a 'flawed' neurotypical person, but as an individual who just happens to have a different take on things... It doesn't change anything, but it does help you to feel 'whole' in a way that probably didn't apply before(?)... Hope that makes some sense - it's way past my bedtime! L&P&Hello to all you new guys BD Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mumble Report post Posted February 17, 2007 Thanks BD, that makes a lot of sense and is reassuring . I suspected that there wouldn't be much in the way of adult help/support available - I was just interested to know if others had managed to get anything. My university (well my department) are fantastic and really supportive of the different way I approach things , but constantly worrying me is the fact that one day I'll have to leave the supportive, sheltered university environment, without the support/help to deal with the problems I faced in trying to cope with the wider world before . Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Graelwyn Report post Posted February 17, 2007 Hello all, not sure if this is a forum aimed more at those with AS children and relatives, but I am, I believe, an Aspie. I am currently awaiting an appointment to be assessed at CLASS in Cambridge, uk, under Simon Baron Cohen's team, and also to be seen locally. I still get my moments of doubt when I think am I, am I not, due to the fact I do not seem to have technical obsessions but have always tended towards obsessions with people, characters, books, films and music, along with the usual collecting interests. The fact my mother is convinced I was a normal, naughty child, in spite of the endless calls up to various teachers and headmasters due to my behaviour and in spite of my obsessions that ammounted to my having to have everything I could get my hands on during my various interests, is not offering me much comfort. I have always been very good at language, although I am now realising I seem to know many words that I do not know the meaning of and seem to have great analytical skills and recognition of patterns and symbols. My current obsession appears to be Aspergers, amusingly enough. It began when I started to wonder if the man I was obsessed with had Aspergers, but once I started reading I was seeing endless traits that reminded me of myself. I realise a diagnosis might not offer any great solutions to the issues I have with other people and with everyday things, but I am hoping it might stop my parents accusing me of being lazy and of using excuses for not doing well in life. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bagpuss Report post Posted February 17, 2007 Big, warm welcome Mumble and Graelwyn.....hope you find this forum as invaluable as I have Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
