CarolJ Report post Posted September 8, 2004 They dont call me ol sparkle knickers for nothing, presenting the assembled party goes with her posterier... breaks out into the chorus of Cumbria mi lord, cume ba yah! A good trick if you can do it!!! Long live CarolJ - the 21st centuries answer to Le Petomane!!! You hum it - I'll play it! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ksasnic Report post Posted September 8, 2004 I have just spenrt 10mins staring at the destruction manual and trying to figure out which language its written in... ah welll never say die.... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CarolJ Report post Posted September 8, 2004 I have just spenrt 10mins staring at the destruction manual and trying to figure out which language its written in... ah welll never say die.... ASM opens one eye - good luck with them there units. The chinese or arabic instructions are the best ones! And guaranteed no matter how many times you count the bits and pieces when you come to the finished product there are always bits left over - now where does this go?????? scratching ones head! Flatpack furntiure is the bane of a modern society and is designed to turn perfectly ordinary sane people into gibbering idiots. Helpline number always given with instructions is actually a dedicated hotline to the Samaritans! Flatpack furntiure is responsible for more relationship arguments than illicit affairs, financial problems and or who gets which side of the bed! Ikea do instructions in Swedish! perhaps BD will be able to help with this one! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baddad Report post Posted September 8, 2004 Psssttt, Ksasnic.... Ksasnic.... It seems to have gone very quiet... I think they're all asleep. I'm gonna head off now, as I'm on me uppers... Good luck with those units. Night. short note for K & E tomorrow... thanx for a terrific party, and thanx for a terrific forum. Love and Peace, a very tired, Baddad Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baddad Report post Posted September 8, 2004 By god! where did she spring from... thought she was out like a light! Night all BD Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ksasnic Report post Posted September 8, 2004 Night all. me thinks I will take the manual.. ha thats a laugh 1 sheet with bad drawings etc to bed and maybe in my dreams I will build it and in the morning it will be reality and all built... tata everyone and may your hangovers be non existant Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Helen Report post Posted September 8, 2004 Thanks for a very enjoyable party - I look forward to the next one! Helen Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Elefan Report post Posted September 9, 2004 Eeeuuurrrrghhhh,.... Groooooaaaaaannnnnnn,.... DW stirs from the tunnel linking the batcave to the outside world. What on forum happened last night, she pondered. She remembers staggering away from BRW, having knocked her fair and square onto the floor,.....then enticing Capt Commando to share in a little mackerell, laced with poison. No,...surely not,....Had she eaten the mackerell meant for him?! Only time will tell,...if Capt Commando surfaces to fight another day.... Oh I wish I could remember,....... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Auriel Report post Posted September 9, 2004 I do not approve of a second Batcave, i'm afraid Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CarolJ Report post Posted September 9, 2004 Auriel I totally agree with you - one Batcave is more than enough!! Two is just plain crazy! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kris Report post Posted September 9, 2004 I have merged the batcave topics - peace and tranquility is now restored Kris Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kris Report post Posted September 9, 2004 Come on, admit it...... Who's got a hangover then? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ksasnic Report post Posted September 9, 2004 No hangover for me.. luckily... mind you am finding it very slow going today ah well dead line will not be made this morning so them boats will have to wait... Unfortunatley I came down to find a box ripped open and all the gubbins spilled out across the floor but not made up ... I think the cat tried though as the screws were scattered in every direction.. me thinks this will be one unit with bits missing.. doh. As to 2 batcaves is that a business class or an economy class.. my split personality is getting confused so back to 1 cave far more sensible... Anyway back to work before boss throws me overboard... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baddad Report post Posted September 9, 2004 Sheepishly Captain Commando creeps back into the (thankfully) empty hall., eyes like two addled eggs swimming in a face with all the colour and animation of a pool of congealed lard? Unbidden memories of the previous evening float to the surface of his consciousness like depth charged koi floating up from the murky depths of a polluted and stagnant pond? Each one induces a further shudder of shame, embarrassment and self loathing? How could he have behaved that way in front of all those wonderful people? Curse the grape, curse the grain, and curse the herbal cigarette he?d smoked to calm his nerves? Another memory ? Oh God? Charades? He remembers drawing the card reading ?Fiddler On The Roof? but did he actually perform that particular party piece again? On one level, he is relieved to find the room still empty, but somewhere inside there dwells a braver soul who wants to make amends straight away?For now, the coward wins out. Apologies all round must wait until later, if that is, they?ll let him?? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nellie Report post Posted September 11, 2004 I (sob) MISSED (sob) IT!! Happy belated birdday!!! Lots of lurv Nellie. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baddad Report post Posted September 11, 2004 Hi nellie, welcome home. We all missed you, too... Auriel (and anyone else it annoyed) Sorry about the 2nd batcave... I didn't post in the "real" batcave, 'cos I didn't want to interrupt what was going on in there. My thinking was that anyone who did want to read my drivel (I do get a bit overenthusiastic sometimes!) could do so at their leisure without me inflicting it on everyone! With hindsight, not one of my best ideas... 'n' Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lisajb Report post Posted September 11, 2004 Hangovers, Kris? Better not tell you what happened on my recent holiday! Loved the fishy bits Bad, should I send Kev round? Lisa Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jericho Report post Posted September 12, 2004 Wooohoooo! I love the new smilies! Another one here who missed most of the party although I did my logging-on bit. I see the Bat Cave survived the party - just! I know it's early to be mentioning the C-word (take your hand off that 'delete' button - I didn't mean THAT c-word! ) but will we be having a Christmas party this year too? Oh and of course a party for each 'joining krism' anniversary, general birthday parties, anniversary of when BRW first set eyes (and dentures) on a pair of sparkly bloomers, BRW's first ever......... <<Ban-Man's warning siren blasts through the Bat Cave>> "INFORMATION OVERLOAD! INFORMATION OVERLOAD! INFORMATION OVERLOAD!" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jericho Report post Posted September 12, 2004 Anyone else noticed that the Bat Cave is now bigger than the Introductions page? Just wait till DW finds out! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lynyona Report post Posted September 12, 2004 mum the merciless discipline seeker cautiously steps into the bat cave as she doesnt know what she might encounter, her wacking stick at the ready she breathes a sigh of relief when she realises that it is full of friendly faces people she has known on previous postings. lynn Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Spike Report post Posted September 13, 2004 Well its taken me a few days to do it...but i have now read most of the postings on this site plus posted a couple....but i can now after reading the bat caves posts, safely say that all of you are extremely helpfull...but completely bonkers...i think ill get along with all of you famously!!! i look forward to taking part in future events and conversations with you all.... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pingu Report post Posted September 17, 2004 Hi everyone, I hope you are all well. I do hope its alright to ramble and moan in the famous "batcave" I honestly never used to moan about anything, but since kieran was 3 years old ive done nothing else but moan, and i didnt want a thread all of my own because thats just taking up more room, and one day you might need that for some one who isnt MOANING !! Anyway.. has anyone else got a night owl??? Our little treasure has now decided to refuse to sleep in his own bed, so each night we have to play musical beds.. we have tried to encourage him to sleep in his own bed, but just now he aint listening !! (head and brick wall and all that).. On a more positive note, Kieran has just finished his first week in the nurture group (a class with only 10 kids in) he is really enjoying himself, they gave him a dougnut the other day, but he got upset because as he put it "if i touch it.. it will glue my fingers" The meltdowns havent been too bad this week though so i have to be gratefull there.. So why am i here moaning you might ask???? Well now lets see... 1) Theres the fact that he is at severe risk of conjunctivites (i know thats not spelt right sorry) Because his new 'stimming' is licking both fingers and then touching his eyeballs and continuing to rub his fingers down his face... Moaning factor here is that school told me to get him to stop doing it... YEAH RIGHT Head and brick wall again 2) He is been hit by other kids in the class.. moaning factor.. He looks like a bruised peach ! the class teacher tells me he looks confused when someone hits him, but ohh afterall the nurture group is for ALL behavioral problems including the bullys. 3) When will he sleep normally again?? we all got more sleep when he was a baby !! Moaning factor.. Playing musical beds at 3am whilst discussing the workings of the washing machine or the drain covers, is not my idea of a good nights sleep. 4) MY EYES !! I swear he will blind me soon, Moaning factor.. As soon as i open my eyes on a morning (thats assuming i have been lucky enough to shut them..)He is there wanting to "stroke my eyes" AGGRhhhhhh. 5) I need a new VCD he has worn out the second of the year by constantly re-winding the tape (The dreaded bouncy castle tape)! I wont go on cos im feeling much better now, Hey afterall who would want anything different of their kids, I love his quirky little ways, but boy sometimes do i feel like screaming especially when im halfway through eating my tea and i hear him from upstairs "MUUUUUUUMMMMMMMmmmmm i had a poo now wipe my bum" Bless his little cotton socks.. ( such an active little man but who cares ) Take care all Shaz x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Elefan Report post Posted September 22, 2004 'ASPERGER SYNDROME FROM THE HORSE'S MOUTH' = Oh My God! Super-hero refreshments to arms. This can't be coincidence that the above anagram becomes,...well,...the above!! Elefan xx Strange but true!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kris Report post Posted September 22, 2004 Where on earth did you find that one???? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Elefan Report post Posted September 22, 2004 I can't reveal this Banman! Anyone fancy working out one for Local Education Authority!!!? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baddad Report post Posted September 22, 2004 She's been on the herbal cigs again!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baddad Report post Posted September 22, 2004 COULD YOU A CLEAT IN THROAT? 10 OUT OF 10 FOR SPEED 0 OUT OF 10 FOR CONTENT, BADDAD! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kris Report post Posted September 22, 2004 'Local Education Authority' anagrams to 'Touch! A coitional adultery I like mine better Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Elefan Report post Posted September 22, 2004 Both c**p!!!!!!!!!!! Elefan - The Master!! xx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baddad Report post Posted September 22, 2004 meet you on the BAT PORCH the usurper Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Elefan Report post Posted September 22, 2004 Pah,..shows how long it's been since you've been out there!! Gone,...demolished,...flats now!!!!! Local Education Authority = C.I.A! Darn hot toil,...Yeuc! OLUA! Ok, ok,....so 'OLUA' isn't a word!! It's a long time since I claimed I was perfect! Exx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baddad Report post Posted September 22, 2004 OLUA is actually polynesian for "the erogenous zone behind the knee" But only in the feminine... The masculine is OLUEY... I call 'em the erroneous zones - I always get 'em wrong HAHA Tired,sorry! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kris Report post Posted September 22, 2004 OLUA is actually polynesian for "the erogenous zone behind the knee" But only in the feminine... The masculine is OLUEY... I call 'em the erroneous zones - I always get 'em wrong HAHA Tired,sorry! I wont ask how you know that!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baddad Report post Posted September 22, 2004 Kris, as with all my best facts, I made it up... Saves sooo much research! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kris Report post Posted September 22, 2004 OK, so you got me!! Doh!!!!!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jericho Report post Posted September 26, 2004 Blue-Rinse Woman creeps through the cobwebs and into the Bat Cave. She is exhausted after a 2 week love-in with her latest beau, Algernon. What a man! Hmmmm. Looks like the Bat Cave is out of Hob Nobs. Now wasn't there a secret stash of herbal biscuits in the tin beside the cleaning stuff? Here it is! Now, what did she need to complete her new 'sex, drugs & rock'n'roll' lifestyle? Aha! It looked like Ban-Man had left his secret collection of Elvis and Cliff records in their usual hiding place. With hip replacements a-clicking, BRW jives across the Bat Cave and over to the Bat-Loo. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baddad Report post Posted September 29, 2004 THE LATE BEN SMITH: �Ben, turn off the play station and eat your breakfast�? �I just want to finish this one race ? PLEEEEEEEEEEZE� �Right, that one. Then eat your breakfast and get ready for school� 10 minutes later? �Ben ? what are you doing??? Why?s that breakfast still there and why are you still in your PJ?s?� �You said I could finish this race?� �Yes; 10 minutes ago ? what have you been doing?� �I set it for 36 laps� **%$@###@%**? And even 36 laps don?t take that long� �They do if you drive the wrong way?� Later still? �Right, turn off ?Makeshift?, get upstairs for a wee and clean your teeth� �Ohhhhhhhhhh! They?re making a CD case out of drink thingies?� �1. we don?t buy those drink thingies; 2. I?m not going to buy those drink thingies just so you can throw the drinks away and use the thingies to make a CD case; 3. You can buy a CD case for about �2.00 in Woolworth?s, as opposed to about �20.00 it would cost to make that one; 4. The ones in Woolworth's don?t fall apart after 3 hours and? 5. They?ve finished now, anyway, so will you PLEASE go for a wee and clean your teeth?� Even later? �So where is your other shoe?� �I don?t know, stupid� �Well where did you take it off? And don?t call me stupid� �I don?t know, do I? You?ll have to find it? It?s stupid anyway ?cos only one of its lights flashes now and they look stupid AND you can?t turn them off?� �Well you wanted the ones with flashing lights on, and NO you can?t wear your trainers to school and? What the hell is it doing in the laundry basket? �Oh. I was hiding it from the dog� �What dog? We haven?t got a dog� �The pretend dog, you idiot� [Clutching hair at temples in melodramatic �Stop The World I Want To Get Off� pose] �Oh, of course, the imaginary dog?why didn?t I think of that in the first place? Now get the ###### thing on and stop calling me an idiot?what do you mean you?ve 'lost your sock?? How can you lose a sock between the living room and the kitchen??� And Later? �Are you riding your bike or walking?� �Riding my bike� �Are you sure? It?s been raining?� �Bike� [unlock fence to back garden, fetch bike, carry through, lock fence] �Actually, I?ll walk� �What?� �I?ll walk. The saddles wet� �Of course it?s wet ? it?s been raining� �I know, but I didn?t know the saddle would be wet. I thought it would just be the frame� �What ? did you think the rain would miss the saddle?� �Well it?s stupid. Why does God make it rain on your bike?� [sound of bike being ?gently dropped? over garden fence]? And later? �Why are there so many slugs out this morning?� �Cos it?s wet? hurry up� �Why do slugs come out when it?s wet?� �Cos it?s easier for them to flob along? now, get a wriggle on� �Why is it easier for them to move when it?s wet?� �Cos there?s less friction? Hurry up, we?re late� �Why is there less friction when it?s wet?� �God made it that way so the slugs could have a rest. NOW HURRY UP?� �If God made it so there?s less friction when it?s wet so the slugs could have a rest, why aren?t they indoors having a rest?� �For the same reason we spend hours in the car on bank holidays ? ?cos they?re very stupid. NOW HURRY UPPPPPP.� �Are all slugs stupid?� �Yes. Now get a move on� �Even Sluggy McSlug?� [Our ?pet? slug ? leaves trails overnight in our kitchen] �Yes, even Sluggy ? now will you get up off of that wet path, leave the slugs alone and GET A MOVE ON!!!� (Aside) �Sluggy?s not thick ?he never goes out when it?s raining?� And later yet? �Dad? Why is it?� �Too many variables in there, son ? why is what? �Why is it people do that?� �Still need more info, me ol? mucker ? why is it people do what? �Drop litter. It?s horrible.� �I know it is, mate. They?re just thoughtless� �Well they shouldn?t be. It?s stupid� �I know it is. Don?t worry about it. Come on, get a move on� �I don?t drop litter. Look there?s a bin right there� �Never mind, son. Come on. Get weaving? �And dog?s poo� �I know, hurry up� �I?d kick them and the dog right up the a**e� �Don?t say that word ? it?s a grown up word. And please [Melodramatic cocked pistol to own head gesture], please, please HURRY UP!!!!!? And finally? �Late again Mr Smith� �Yes, I?m sorry, but?� �You did get a copy of the letter we sent home about the importance of arriving on time? �Yes, but?� �Right. Best get Ben in with all his classmates ? they?ll be going to assembly soon. Perhaps you could leave a bit earlier tomorrow?� �Yes, but?� �Righty ho. Nine sharp tomorrow then? Come along Ben? Let?s get you inside�? [ben looks over his shoulder and smiles sweetly? I?m missing him already] Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Elefan Report post Posted September 29, 2004 Priceless!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks for that Baddad!!!! I think we can all relate to mornings like yours,...well, except for the slug!!! And in your kitchen, too!!? Yeuk!!!! Suddenly, life with a 'house bunny' doesn't seem so strange!!!! DW xx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
