I'm having a rough time

[smiley]

Hi,

 

I'm having a rough time at the moment and i can't seem to drag myself out of it.

 

If i'm honest, i've been feeling this way since before christmas. I just want to crawl under my duvet for a month or two and hide.

 

I'm constantly tearful, i can't concentrate on anything (i have stack of paperwork for work that should be done by now), and i'm so, so tired. Anything and everything overwhelms me . I can usually snap myself out of it. But it just seems to be getting worse. I have to drag myself out to work and stick on a happy smile to the world - i love my job - but now i'm even beginning to dread that. I can usually take my dog out for a walk and clear my head, but i just can't seem to make myself leave the house. I wander about getting nothing done, then i beat myself up for being lazy.

 

Just before christmas i was out walking my dog - my mind was miles away and i stepped out infront of a car. It frightened the life out of me - but for the rest of the week i kept thinking 'wish it had hit me - then i could have a break'. That thought alone frightened me so i took myself off to the Drs. He told me i was stressed (no kidding, batman!) and depressed, but he wouldn't give me anything because he wants me to be alert incase little one needs me .

 

I'm grumpy (and i'm never grumpy) I'm snappy (and i'm never snappy) always at the edge of tears (and i'm usually the one making everyone else smile). Little one said today 'Why don't you smile anymore mum?' Just about broke my heart

 

I know everyone of us has felt like this from time to time - but what should i do when the time to time becomes never ending??

[jb1964]

Hi Smileymab,

 

I read your post and my eyes filled up for you. I know where you're coming from and have felt very often like you say - although as you put it 'I know everyone of us has felt like this from time to time - but what should i do when the time to time becomes never ending??' I haven't got to that point yet.

 

Can you not go back to your GP and show him your posting - I can fully understand what he is saying but surely as he's said 'he wants you to be alert for little one' shouldn't this also mean that he needs you to feel like you are coping emotionally as well as physically - and even though he wants you to be 'alert' - can you really be alert when you feel like this (as you've said you nearly stepped in front of a car).

 

Ok I can appreciate that sometimes medication doesn't help, but what about seeing someone to talk to - can he not help that way? and refer you? I'm not saying that would help but it may give more insight to him in realising whether he should be prescribing something to you.

 

Hope you get some help soon.

Take care, jb

Edited March 1, 2006 by jb1964

[tmf]

Hi

 

I think you have described what i am feeling down to a t!!

 

I have been like that, and justwhen i thought i was getting on top of things, it took one comment from my mother to push me back a few steps again.

 

Anyway, i have started taking st john's wort, and believe it or not seems to be working. Don't get me wrong i am not back to my old self just yet, but i am able to face the school runs again. As this is a 40 min round trip walk i am finding the fresh air is also helping. My house is now back to being tidy (apart from today, i actually faced having company!!!) and beleive me, something as trivial as that it feels like i have achieved a big milestone.

 

I still have a long way to go, but i can see that i have started to climb out of the pit that i had fallen into. I work also, and the pressures of the job are demanding and i feel if i took tht out of the equation, i would see a faster improvement at home....but hey needs must unfortunately. I have 3 wks of after tomorrow and boy do i need it as i broke down at work again yesterday.

 

Anyway, you sound very much like me in the person you once were, and if that is true i sense a strong person and you will get out of this hole. If you are able, try the st johns wort, you may find it makes a small help as it has done for me.

 

Wishing you well

 

tmf

x

[jen]

please book an appointment with your GP telling how you feel and you can not cope with life. Ask him what is available to help you maybe drugs may be counselling. Tell him the way you are feeling is now affecting your family.

 

Lots of people can be down for a day or a few weeks this is normally. Being down for this long means you need some help

 

Let us know what happens

 

Jen

[oracle]

<'> Smiley <'>

 

I wish we lived nearer to just about everyone here because what we need is a flamin good chin wag followed by a party where we can let our hair down and just be ourselves (hmn now where have I heard that before?) I'm being serious - when was the last time you had a night out? Can't remember mine how about you? This is a really bad time of year but even so I think some times it's the reality that we have what we have for life that make you feel so darn

 

If ever you want to talk Smiley then let me know I can't take it away but I'm sure that we could enjoy a mutual 'poor me' session

 

Carole

[Suze]

I really feel for you, when you are so low coping with life in general can be such an uphill struggle.I was feeling really bad last year my gp prescribed anti -d,s they have,nt made me drowsy or less alert.In fact they did what they were supposed to do and helped me feel more like my old self.It took alot to take them , I,ve never been one for tablets and they stayed in the drawer for weeks.But I bit the bullet and commited myself to getting better, and thankfully Iam .Best wishes smiley go get some help <'> ,when we break a leg we use crutches.

[pepper]

awwww bless ya, it sounds more a spit spot of depression - rather than just feeling a bit down. From someone who's been there can I suggest trying to get something sorted b4 u feel so low u cant raise energy? only - all the things u said reminded me of 3 yr ago.

 

I'm sure the forum has many many members who have/still do feel samey. I cant give advice about getting to docs as i never managed to go... but it does get better im finally more 'together' ( just dont ask my close mates cos they think im barmy eno now )

 

I can only say, maybe nip to docs and have a chat? Its nothing to be embaressed about - i just wish i'd had more guts at the time myself. You could maybe try a short course of antidepressants ( maybe tell a close freind so they can monitor how u go on them) stuff the self pride bit cos u may need another ear for helpful feedback

 

just please dont just hang in doing nothing when u feel this bad, i dont want ppl to go through what i once did without support. Theres only so much support u can get chatting on a forum, but hopefully the empathy you recieve will help. I mean - we all get off days, maybe off weeks but if ur feeling real low for two months, maybe its time to seek some help.

 

and yeah - my son pointed out last year that he was happy i was getting better ( didnt shout and be grumpy and lose temper all the time )and it really ###### upset me cos i thought id hid it - hes got As so - was ever more heart wrenching ( just goes to show this inability to feel other ppls emotions ids a total load of tosh as hes the most thoughtful empathic child i know) , alas sometimes any small critisism sends you 12 paces back

 

on a cheerful note - it does pass, just dont suffer in silence k

 

xx pep ( slopes off mortified cos ive blabbed all sorts yeah im uptight heheheh)

[Flora]

Smiley... <'> <'> <'>

 

You trully aren't alone.

 

I have sent you a pm.

 

Lauren <'>

[DaisyProudfoot]

Smiley <'> <'> <'>

 

It's important that you seek help again and this time explain how long you have been feeling down because depression can be as dangerous to the welfare of your child as being on the tablets.

 

You say you suspect you possibly have Lupus, same as I have, and you also have ME, doctor should be doing more to help you because depression is often worse when dealing with a chronic illness.

 

I am sending you a PM

[hev]

hello smiley,when i saw my down days never ending i went to docs and went on anti dis,i didnt want to go on them but im glad i did,i know your doc said he wants you to alert,im still alert,i just couldnt have gone on like i was,i lost my voice,voice was slurred,all due to stress,go back to doctors and have another talk with him,take care love hev'

 

ps,agree with carole,wish we all lived near each other to have a good old moan and laugh as well,i would make sure she put her text books away though,she might try to home educate me

[smiley]

Thanks all <'>

 

Feel silly for moaning, i know i've got it easy compared to some people. I really am feeling terrible at the moment . Getting very fed up of crying!

 

It's been coming on for a while now - but i think last week was too much. We had vision clinic and psychiatrist - both went well, but watching little one struggle through both really brought home his difficulties . Stick into the mix a house move, worry about school and a mum who i have to 'mother' and i'm screaming 'enough'!!

 

Sorry for moaning - i'll make the appointment xxxxx

[annie]

Hi Smileymab,

 

Please don't feel silly for moaning .

 

You've got a lot on your plate at the moment. It's no wonder you are feeling so down .

 

Annie

<'> <'>

[Kazzen161]

I was in the same situation mab - I need to be alert, but needed some anti-d's. It took three goes to find the right one, which I take at a low dose. I probably needed a higher dose really, but it was enough to take the edge off the depression. I am trying to stop them now, as life is supposedly getting better.

 

Rescue Remedy works for me as an emergency measure.

 

Karen

[Kathryn]

Smileymab,

 

<'> <'> <'>

 

I know that feeling of wanting to crawl under the duvet and stay there.

 

There will be an end to this, although it doesn't feel that way right now. You've got a lot to deal with right now so it's no wonder you feel like this. I hope you get the right help to see you through it, whether it's medication or something else.

 

K x

[pepper]

really - when u hit that point where getting outa bed feels an effort - u gotta do something! promise

 

i avoided anything social ( like speaking LOL) for a year......and i tell ya - im the worlds biggest chatterbox !!

 

and a freind of mine just took anti depressants for a fortnight to keep her ticking along - so, worth a try, as someone said st johns wart is a natural remedy maybe u can go try that for starters ( is it on special? heheh) im penniless...........

[jen]

One in three people at sometime in their lives need antidepressents. Its just to give you support at a difficult time in your life. If we all lived close together imagine the chaos and fun we would have!!!

 

Jen

[nellie]

Oh Smiler <'>

 

Good luck with that appointment. If you need anything you know where I am.

 

Nellie <'>

 

[Brook]

Smileymab <'> <'>

 

Cant add anything to what has already been said, but I can relate to this too.

 

Take care <'>

 

Brook <'>

[UltraMum]

<'> Smileymab <'>

 

Go back to the doc and tell him exactly what you told us ... you need something to help - be it counselling/medication/both - don't let doc send you away without you on their shoulder! - then they might 'get it' - if they're worried about your level of alertness that's no excuse for you not to have medication you need - the doc needs to do something to find some extra help for you, to take over when you need to be alert, so you can be 'unalert' for as long as you need IFSWIM

 

<'> <'> <'>

Hope the days get sunnier soon for you

Eve

[Guest hallyscomet]

Hi Smileymab,

 

Could this be the problem.........just wondering.......a lot of you also who are feeling depressed also think about this.

 

Keep a diary and note down when it happens in your menstrual cycle (okay guys you can exit now ) or you could learn something that could change your lives.....

 

Seriously.......

 

I tracked my moods and it turned out that my Contraceptive Pill was the culprit. I was taking a much more expensive one called Marvellon believing it was better for me.

 

Well I didn't get PMT but after my period for the first four days of taking the Pill my moods went black, felt like tossing the towel in my partner almost got the flick several times.

 

It was when I was reading through my journal that I discovered this pattern and I felt exactly how you described Smiley. I was so desperate I went to doctor and asked for an antidepressant he prescribed Zoloft,but when I got home I thought no I won't take it, so I continued to monitor my moods by keeping a diary. Then discovered the feelings, read the paperwork that came with Marvellon and said that you could have these side effects, well I was having them all especially "Hypersensitive"

 

I went back to the doctor and told himwhat I discovered, so he changed my Contraceptive Pill to "Schering-Logynon ED also known as Triquilar ED. For the past three months I have felt great, no PMT and no hypersensitivity or Mood Swings when I go back on them after my period. Oh no.......thats why I started the "Feel Good Thread"

 

Truly I have been putting up with this for the past three years and trying to control my moods and feeling like cr*p all the time by taking Vitamin B and Evening Primrose Oil

 

So, had to ask you to check this, is it something you are taking not agreeing with you.......just wondering.

 

Hailey. <'>

[smiley]

Hiya,

 

Thank you for your kind words - really do help <'>

 

I called for an appointment, i want to see the woman Dr at the surgery, think she might be a bit more understanding. After haggling with the receptionist (who wanted to know why i want a female Dr, why it was urgent - etc.... told her it was none of her business!) the earliest they can see me is Tues... Grrr.

 

Hailey - what you've said does make some sense. I've recently had to change the brand of pill i was on because my consultant doesn't want me having oestrogen (because of head pressure). I took myself off it just after christmas because i notice a drop in my moods and thought that might be the reason. I'm a bit better since i stopped it - but not much. How long do you think it would take to come out of my system? Would it cause me to feel this low??

 

Also wanted some advice - I've brought some St Johns Wort, but on the bottle it says that it can increase photosensitivity..... I'm taking a small dose of amiltriptaline each evening - it settles my central nervous system and helps with the photosensitivity problems i have (first time in ten years i've been able to enjoy a day at the beach last year!). Bit worried it might cause mayhem.... Should i wait for Drs?

 

Thank you for all your help <'>

[jomica]

Smileymab

 

I'm sorry you're feeling so low, and can empathise, having been there myself a couple of years ago.

 

A couple of things spring to mind from your last posting.

 

Firstly, you're entitled to see a GP (the first one available, who may not necessarily be the one of your choice) within two working days, or you can make an advance appointment with a GP of your choice (which won't necessarily be within two working days). You are entitled to see a primary care professional (eg a nurse) within 24 hours. These are targets set by the government, against which family doctors are measured and held to account by Primary Care Trusts.

 

With regard to mixing St John's Wort with amiltriptaline, I would wait to see your GP first, or if you feel that you can't wait, at least ask a qualified pharmacist whether there is likely to be any problem for you. I'm sure you don't want to feel any worse by mixing medicines that shouldn't be mixed.

 

Do look after yourself.

[DaisyProudfoot]

I'm taking a small dose of amiltriptaline each evening - it settles my central nervous system and helps with the photosensitivity problems i have (first time in ten years i've been able to enjoy a day at the beach last year!). Bit worried it might cause mayhem.... Should i wait for Drs?

 

Thank you for all your help <'>

 

Hi Smiley,

 

DON'T TAKE AMILTRIP WITH ST JOHN'S WORT.

 

Amiltrip, as well as assisting the nervous system is also given as an anti-depressant, it would not be a good idea to mix two drugs with anti-depresssant properties. If you are already taking amiltrip it may just be worth asking the doc to increase the dosage. It can be increased to as much as 150mg in 24 hour period but has to be upped gradually as it needs constant monitoring when used in its anti-depressant capacity.

 

I take this as one of my meds. Hope Tuesday comes round soon for you.

 

Also sending this as a PM

Edited March 3, 2006 by DaisyProudfoot

[Elanor]

Hi Smileymab

 

If you want to discuss the option of taking an anti-depressant with your doctor, then I'd advise you against the St Johns Wort. You can't take it with an anti-depressant, and you need to get it out of your system before starting anti-ds.

 

St John's Wort is good stuff if you're feeling a bit low - I've used it from time to time. But when I had depression, it simply wasn't strong enough to help. Anti-depressants are really a sticking plaster - you still need to get to the root of the problem (counselling does help) - but sometimes a sticking plaster is what we need.

 

There is light at the end of the tunnel, you will be happier - but it's ok to take some help to get through.

 

Elanor

[kirstie]

<'> Hi Smiley,

I'm sorry you feel so bad just now!

I could relate to your post totally! I remember being in the car going with my sis and bro to a concert. I had had a few drinks more than i should (i wasn't driving by the way!) and was just watching the whizzing lights of the other cars thinking, i wouldn't care if we went into the central reservation and onto the other side. that was worrying for me because i am terrified of dieing. i was at an all time low then, so much so the lows were getting lower and i wasn't pulling myself out of them as quick. I went on like this for a long time. It wasn't untill i became physically violent toward my partner that it was time to get some help. I had counselling and anti-d's. I'm not proud of what i did and coupled with pmt i was a nightmare to live with. Anyway, what i'm saying is that if you need the help or tablets take it and please don't suffer when you needn't.

We are with you every step of the way hon, and i hope you feel a little better soon. <'> <'>