Viper Report post Posted July 16, 2006 (edited) Poor Dodo. She went to see a friend yesterday and later rung us in tears. She said she didn't want to come home because she was scared of the meeting on Monday. The poor kid is terrified of what might happen to her. She thinks she might be excluded permanently. I sent hubby out to pick her up. We explained that she would be ok. We told her all about the things we were going to bring up in the meeting and that she will be fine. She is also very upset about the abuse from the boy. I have tried talking to her about it, trying to get as much information as I could. She tried hard to help but I noticed she was getting upset. She eventually said "I don't want to talk about it any more" It's hard because I have to get details to use in the meeting but she just can't tell me. I managed to find out that this boy has been sat next to her in French for some time and has been touching her legs, bum and just under her breasts where he grabs her with both hands. She also said he pushes her, grabs her arm, pulls her about and trys to hold her round the neck to pull her towards him. I have decided I will send her out of the meeting when we discuss this matter as I don't think she will cope. I have got to take Ben and my youngest DD as their dad is again in France and I don't think they should be there either. My eldest DD is going to be my only support. I think I will be ok, I have it all writen down so I can refer to it but I still feel a bit nervous. I can't show it though, I think Dodo would crack if I showed any fear. Edited July 18, 2006 by Viper Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
phasmid Report post Posted July 16, 2006 All this needs to be written down as well Viper and then added to the second half of your meeting. You can do this!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
marshmallow Report post Posted July 16, 2006 <'> <'> <'> I hope everything goes ok and gets sorted tomorrow. <'> for Dodobird, it must be awful for her. Good luck for the meeting. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest flutter Report post Posted July 16, 2006 <'> <'> <'> for u all would she be able to write it all down? i can understand that the thought of it is stressing her, and she may not want to share it all with you so this could be a half way situation, she is telling it but not to u face. poor hunny, must be soo scared, thinkin of you all C xxx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
phasmid Report post Posted July 16, 2006 Easier still, rather than writing it down can you tape her thoughts on it? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Viper Report post Posted July 16, 2006 Phas I have written it down and will make sure it is minuted (see I do listen)I have also managed to get the names of 4 other girls that he assaulted too. That was hard work. These girls haven't told their parents what happened and don't want Dodo to mention their names. But I told her the teacher involved found them crying and they told her what was wrong, so she might say something anyway. Therefore Dodo won't be implicated. God this is hard work. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest flutter Report post Posted July 16, 2006 got to be done tho viper remember why u gave self u name <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Viper Report post Posted July 16, 2006 I think She has gone as far as she can with this now. I don't think I can push her to do any more. I have to think about the possibility she may have to make a statement to the police. I don't want to completely drain her in case she refuses to talk to the police. IYKWIM She said today, she doesn't want to be at the meeting at all. I just hope she doesn't refuse to come. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Viper Report post Posted July 16, 2006 I will do this and I will get justice for my child flutter. I have got to be careful with my venom though, I don't want to give the head a reason to end the meeting prematurely. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
stressedmumto2 Report post Posted July 16, 2006 I hope all goes well with your meeting. Your daughter should not have to put up with this kind of behaviour from this lad. I hope you're daughter is ok tomorrow. <'> <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
annie Report post Posted July 16, 2006 I'll be thinking of you and Dodobird tomorrow. Annie <'> <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
justamom Report post Posted July 16, 2006 I will do this and I will get justice for my child flutter. I have got to be careful with my venom though, I don't want to give the head a reason to end the meeting prematurely. Good luck Viper, stay strong!!!! Let us know how you get on!!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Suze Report post Posted July 16, 2006 <'> viper, I,m thinking of you, stay strong and focussed, you,ll be o.k. <'> .......... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sallya Report post Posted July 16, 2006 Good luck for tomorrow s xxx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jb1964 Report post Posted July 16, 2006 Thinking of you all Viper. Can't imagine what you're both going through and to have to take the other kids as well. Your daughter is doing so well in confiding in you - and I'm sure she'll find the strength to do this with your wonderful support. Take care, Jb Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kathryn Report post Posted July 16, 2006 Viper Good luck with the meeting tomorrow. L was assaulted in a very similar way over a period of time by pupils in a poorly supervised class about 3 years ago when she was in year 8. We didn't get to hear about it till much later, when we did, we brought it up in a multi agency meeting as an illustration of her vulnerability in a mainstream school without support. Social services jumped on the case, as they do, and it's still on file pending investigation. A bit pointless after all this time as L herself doesn't see the point of pursuing it and the perpetrators will have left by now. But it's good to know that such incidents are taken seriously - it's a terrible thing to happen in an environment where you expect your child to be safe. Thinking of you both, <'> K x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
aro Report post Posted July 16, 2006 good luck at the meeting, the school has alot to feel ashamed about! Anna x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bagpuss Report post Posted July 16, 2006 Viper will be thinking of you and your daughter tomorrow. Hope it goes well <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Viper Report post Posted July 16, 2006 Thanks everyone. Your support is much appreciated. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Brook Report post Posted July 16, 2006 Good luck to you both tomorrow <'> <'> hope it gets sorted Brook <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
UltraMum Report post Posted July 17, 2006 Thinking of you all and praying that all will be resolved with no more anxiety for you or dodobird <'> <'> <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tez Report post Posted July 17, 2006 Thinking of you today. Hope all goes well. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
phasmid Report post Posted July 17, 2006 We'll all be there...just outside the door. Go give them HELL! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CarerQuie Report post Posted July 17, 2006 Thinking of you and hoping that all goes well today.xx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Flora Report post Posted July 17, 2006 Viper... just read all about this. What a horrible thing to happen. Hope your DD is ok. Good luck with the meeting; I hope you get your points accross. will be thinking of you. Lauren Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pumpkinpie Report post Posted July 17, 2006 (edited) Hope you are all ok only just seen your post. Have you seen the schools child protection policy ? It should cover when the kids are the abusers too, many schools seem to forget to consider this as a possibility. I would want it to go down on this lads record and for the police to be informed. I had similar issues with my oldest not asd! I was really glad we reported it because it turned out the same lad s activities had escalated to a 5 yr old and an older lady. reporting it meant it went to court and he pleaded guilty and is on the register - he was only 15! But unchecked I think something much more serious could have happened. My oldest only saw the police in our home once - very nice and then we were kept informed by phone what had happened. Remeber reporting it doesnt mean court for your lass but it does mean it goes on record1 If I was the other girls parents I would expect to be informed and would be....... if not made aware of what happened Edited July 17, 2006 by pumpkinpie Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
barefoot wend Report post Posted July 17, 2006 Viper Hope it goes better than you think today - stay strong! Barefoot Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Flora Report post Posted July 17, 2006 Sorry if I've missed an update on another thread.... was wondering how the meeting went viper? Lauren Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Viper Report post Posted July 18, 2006 (edited) I don't know how much of this I can tell you so I will have to be brief. The meeting wasn't good, the head said he would interview all the children I mentioned tomorrow. Then I spoke to one of the forum members, (don't know if I should say who.) who advised me to inform the police about the assault as the head should have done this immediatly. As for the exclusion, I am working on a letter of complaint to the head, governors and the LEA. Edited July 18, 2006 by phasmid Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
justamom Report post Posted July 18, 2006 I think the person has given you good advice Viper, sorry it was not a good meeting. Chin up luv we are here for you!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bullet Report post Posted July 18, 2006 I agree with going to the police. I'm sorry your daughter had had to and is still having to go through all this. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Flora Report post Posted July 18, 2006 It's the school's responsiblity to protect our children. If the staff had done their job properly when they were away, then you wouldn't have this problem. If the boy has problems with anger management and inappropriate behaviour (touching up girls) then he should have been properly supervised. I totally agree with everyone else; report it to the police. If the school don't like it, then they only have themselves to blame. Lauren Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
yoyo Report post Posted July 18, 2006 Viper, Thinking of you and Dodo lots now and yesterday. Good luck with the police; I hope you get support and understanding from whoever you speak to. You obviously didn't get much sleep judging by the time of posting. best wishes, Yoyo Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
marshmallow Report post Posted July 18, 2006 <'> <'> <'> Thinking of you both, I hope it gets sorted soon. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bagpuss Report post Posted July 18, 2006 Sorry the meeting wasn't so good Viper....hope it all goes well with the Police <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
