Mumble

They're really not going to be easy to digest.

Chop them off at the elbow.

I suspect she's been taken hostage by the sock monster...

I prefer treacle tart.

Thanks everyone. She's not old/frail, she's just totally self-interested and really not bothered by anyone else at all. She was writing her shopping list yesterday, so I took it off her and added, in big letters, BIRTHDAY CAKE. Her response? "Why?" Well because it was my birthday and it's usual to wish someone a happy birthday and get them a cake. To which she replied "well I knew that but I wasn't interested". Well at least she was honest... Still I got myself cake and ice-cream. They go well together. Much better than sausages and ice-cream.

I don't understand why you have so much left over from your DLA to become savings. DLA is supposed to pay for your additional care / mobility needs. If you have so much spare, that suggests you don't need it for your care. However, to answer you question, any money you have that isn't spent (in the bank, under the mattress) counts as savings.

Well today's my birthday and my Mum, who I'm living with at the moment, has forgotten. I've been telling myself all day that she's planned some wonderful secret surprise (even though I know she wouldn't), but it's clear she has just forgotten. Do I say anything, or do I just enjoy my wine and go and buy myself a cake tomorrow?

I agree it's not bullying, it's just being totally untactful and unaware of how what he says impacts on you. What you've written reminds me sooo much of my mother. She eats a bad diet and happily criticises anything I make or buy that is in any way healthy. I think I find it difficult for similar reasons to you - that I find it hard to cook for myself but put effort and energy into it as I know it's important, and so to be criticised is even harder. I'm afraid the only way I've found to deal with it is to ignore her and tell myself that she's not actually criticising me, she's just being totally ignorant of my feelings and that isn't something I can change, so no point wasting energy trying or worrying about it. Well if he gets too much and you leave, you could get a job as an extra darlek on Britain's Got Talent! :D

You will probably need to try a variety of approaches and find that bits of each work, but I agree with Trekster on sorting the PMT medically - if you can take that stress away it'll make the rest easier to deal with. The downside of no PMT of course is no excuse for excessive chocolate consumption...

Simples:

I've had two DSA needs assessments and they were very different. The first was with an autism expert, the second was the general normal one (they actually come to the uni to do it) with someone far more used to doing ones for dyslexic students. It depends what you want to get out of it. Because I didn't know what support was available or what might help, having the specialist assessment first was really useful as she was able to reccomend things I wouldn't have thought of / known about. It meant when I went to my second one, I already had the info needed. If you know what you need / would like and are confident that you will be able to express these (I would take them in writing for them anyway) then your local centre should be fine. If there are issues you want support with but don't know what sort of support you need, you may be best finding a more specialist centre / assessor. I should add that finding a specialist autism assesor isn't easy; I was lucky as someone at my university knew one who agreed to doing it for me. If such a person isn't available, then there probably isn't much difference between centres. The main advice I would give is to try to make sure the assessment is as comprehensive and over-encompassing as possible, to the extent it may well seem OTT and you may think that you don't really need the support advised. You don't have to make use of what is advised, but if it's in the report and DSA agree to finance it, it's there to fall back on if needed or your needs change.

This is a really good idea as it means you have home-cooked food (which is always better than the junk added to processed foods and you can control for allergies etc) and there's always something to eat even when you don't feel up to cooking (which can be a sign your body needs fuel so should be eating). It should be something your carer/care staff can help you with the planning for. I do this when I'm feeling well and up to cooking lots, and fill the freezer. From really basic things like a mince base, you can make loads of different dishes - bolognoise, chilli, shepherds pie, etc. Pound land type shops sell plastic and tin disposable containers which are brilliant for putting individual portions in and freezing, then they just have to be heated through.

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:clap: :clap: Awesome. You have a complete set now.