Paula

I read it years ago when my son was younger and i was first finding out and learning about Aspergers and Autism.I found very interesting and helped explaine a lot. Another good book thats not realy imformative but a light read and focuses in on the "funny" side of autism the little quirks and stuff is one called liveing and laughing with autism.Its by parents and containes aneccdotes such as The lady who thought her son was none verbal because hed never spoken.Every night for years she put him to bed fell to her knees in prayer and said please god please let him speak pleas help my son.For years this went on.Then one night she fell to her knees and was about to start the prayer when to her amazement she heard a little voice say from the bed for gods sake not more please gods i cant take no more!!!!!!!!!!!!! Apparently he could speak and understood her very well but had chosen not to. Its a good read and full of the slighlty lighter side of autism.

My sisters tw kids are only 2 and 6 and yet they seem more advanced than our AS son.Whenever ive to spend time with them i come away feeling awfull. But listen youre sons acheivments are just as brilliant so talk about them and be proud as i know you will be.

There will be provision its just the school,teachers and the professionals involved cannot be bothered !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Makes me so angry.You do right in pulling youre son out of the school. I think people forget that children have to be educated by law but they dont have to be educated inside a school.Its worth remembering that. If its doing more harm than good remove the kids.Its not worth it and theres only so much head banging against a wall you can do before you get totally fed up with it all. I thank god everyday that we found a special school for our son. Good luck with it and to youre freind

Brilliant When my son started at a special school he advanced so fast.But initially his behaviour at home worsened.It soon settled down though so hang in there.

Yep i think were on to something here with autism and comedy.Lets face it theres a lot of unfunny people on tv who people pay a lot of money to. My son aslo asks after his jokes was that funny.We always say yea it was funny. His knowck knock jokes are a speciality Knock knock whoes there He then inserts his own name Made his grandma and grandad laugh.

Sometimes he plays with something else inside his underpants also.Thats a whole new ball game Our son also pulls his tousers up realy high also.Simon cowels got nothing on him.They fit niceley under his arm pits.To counteract this ive to buy thing realy long so that he doesnt look daft. His very very fashion consious 14 year old sister despaires at him.

Without knowing it my son is the best funny man around and with no effort what so ever.So i thought id share one of his many jokes.Remember he doesnt realy get comedy or jokes but tries to tell them and pulls it of in a strange kinda way. The following is said in a monotone voice,no smiles and with a deadpan face. He says What do you get if you cross a car tyre with a human I say I dont know what do you get if you cross a car tyre with a human He says I havent a clue He then carries on playing PS2.Made me laugh.He could be the next big thing and you heard it here first. Anyone else got a unexpected comic amongst them who doesnt even realise it.

My son chews his hands and clicks his knuckles all the time when hes relaxing on a night watching TV. He also plays with a yo yo constantly whilst watching the tv.Its kinda fuynny because hes sat there 12 years old in underpants only , dont ask, pulled rather high up his stomach , againe we dont enquire , and theres this yo yo going up and down all night.He even yo yos when hes eating his tea or sometimes when hes on the ps2 its nutts i guess. Sometimes i say to him step away from the yo yo try to resist it.He must kinda know its strange because he does laugh at this. Hes 12 and AS. Bless him. Sometimes he insists on wearing his underpants back to front a kind of make shift thong.God help us all.

Ive often said that im glad my As child is a boy.because how do you cope with AS or any other disability and then periods when there girls. My non AS daughter is 14.Her periods are horrendous.Ive had to go and pick her up from school many a time due to her flooding and being in a mess.She uses both tampax and pads but still has trouble. Our Gp prescribed some sort of pill that slows down the flow of blood.Im not sure of the name.Shes to take them a few days bnefore her period is due and then take them for two days into her period.Theyve worked wonders and realy slow down the blood flow so that she can cope and doesnt have the embarresment of flooding at school. I still tell her though that if she cant face school because its too bad to just tell me and she can stay home.The problem is you see at her school the teachers wont allow the kids to go to the toilet during a lesson.And when shes haveing a period thats just not acceptable. How about a contraceptive implant or injection is there somethin like that that could help the periods.Would she agree to injections or a one of implant.

Im ashamed to admit this but my sister fiddled the dla system. Her daughter used to cough on a night.She wasnt diagnosed with asma or anything but my sister went to her gps and made out that the cough was realy seveare and kept her child awake all night.The Gp then prescribed an inhaler that my sister never used.This in turn was the key to getting DLA.She received the middle allowance and it was paide untill her daughter reached the age of 5. I was ###### fumeing.I should have shopped her to the authorities but she was family.They said they were skint and needed the money and it was easy money. There was i on the same DLA rate with a As son who had hearing problems and choanal atresia. The system needs shaking up and looking into.Many like me and people on here are claiming and entilted to the cash but as my ###### sister showed anyone can get a hold of the money and relativley easily.

I used to have stand up shouting matches with the drs me because they said there was nothing wrong with our son. Because he didnt display the behaviours during there assesments then i must be a lier. I used to fume as i explained the meltdowns,obbsesions,routines,ect ect ect but it fell on deaf ears. Until i had a home visit from one of these people and they saw for themselves what he was like in full swing.Finally i was beleived when they saw the lines and lines of cars that god forbid if yer knocked one outta line !!!!!!!!!!! The tantrum that kicked of because he hated people comeing into the home and the violence that at the time he vented physically on me.Finally they listened and i wasnt a fussy mum. You know what i think the maine problem is.Its that most gps,peadiatricans ect aint a clue how to reconise Autism or the many subtle ways As is displayed and go on the bog standard cant be verbal,mustnt make eye contact,rocking screaming type steriotype who wont be touched.When presented with a verbal,eye contact making,freindly individual then they think nar this isnt autism. We need more specialists and ascess to them. Good luck with it keep pushing and fighting youre the mum you know youre child. Paula

My son is As and verbal but toilet training was still a nightmare. I found i had to put him straight into underpants as pull ups confused him.He wet and soiled every item of clothing he had every day for months on end.I thought it was never going to end.But id read in a book somewhere that he had to learn kinda make the conection that the fealing he had meant that he needed the toilet kind of put two and two together if you get my meaning. Eventualy everything clicked and he wasnt in nappies when he started school at 5.He did wet the bed for years though on a nightright up to him being about 9 years old. I found a book called toilet training for individuals with autism and related disorders a comprehensive guide for parents helpfull. .I found it on a sight called jessica kinglsey publications.Theyve alsorts of books aimed at all aspects of al kinds of disabilities on there.You can order online or telephone.Ive never had any problems with ordering books from there so i can vouch for it.

Why not take her with you if possible to try on bras so that she can say what ones feel more comfortable against her skin. Or maybe order a few from a catalogue so that she can wear them in the house try them out and then you could send them back if they dont suite her.Bit cheeky but theyll never know. Maybe its the straps that are uncomfortable how about them nice vest type things with hidden support if her breast arent too big.

Ignorant people and family memebers used to say to me that if i gave my As son a smack then hed stop being As !!!!!!!!!!!!!! My reply was if he was in a wheelchaire unable to walk would you say that all he needed was a good telling of and a smack and hey presto hed stand up and walk away from that wheel chaire cured and no longer unable to walk. Then why the hell do you think all it takes is disapline and punishment and Autism will be cured .That shut them up fast.

My son rules our house also. Have i been too soft yea if im honest i have.Hes brilliant as long as hes getting all his own way but god help us if things dont go as he plans.My son is 12 and almsot as tall as me hes strong also and yea im frightened that if I dont back down hell turn on me so i always back down. Im dreading the teenage AS years.Ive told my husband hell have to take charg if it all kicks of because im just not physically strong enough. <'> <'> <'> We love them deep inside its just hard at times trying to remember this.We aint angels were just normal mums and dads whove been given an extraoridinary job.To top it all with no pay and no bloomeing thanks.

My son has been in a special school for the past 6 years.I too just went with my gut fealings. I also took my son along with us when we went to view scools. I made sure i observed the kids in the classes thats the best advice id give.Are they happy and content.It was brilliant when we looked round the school our son attends all the kids waved and said hello and were encouraged to do so.The clases were small and the teachers were great.It had a fantastic atmosphear. All the kids were saying hye to the head teacher and most importantly he knew and used all there names.The kids were even hugging him. Look for the size of classes,ratio of teachers and class room assistants.Find out how there taught ie my sons school teaches according to ability and not age. Go with youre instinct youll know whats right. One school we looked at was awfull.The kids were all rocking in chaires,the teachers werent interacting and the head didnt speak to no one or appear to know anyones names. We didnt go back there. Good luck with it all. Paula

Im with you on this.My mum,dad,sister brother inlaw.None of them get it. Its like banging youre head against a brick wall. What gets me mad is when they say to me what have you to be stressed about Youre left lost for words.I just wish my family were too.

Mornings are a mine field.The slightest thing from the wrong way i enter the bedroom to the wrong channel on tv can make it so its a refusel to go to school day. I tend to keep him home though as hes to travel a long way on school transport and the escort cant do with him kicking of because it sets all the other special need kids of too. Good luck with tommorrow.

Grandparents dont yer just love them My sons grandma is a right paine.She still kinda insists that its all down to me that im too soft and if she was in charge then everything would be a ok. She also throws in little gems of advice like i should have aborted and why dont i shove him in a home and enjoy life. Thing is she rarely looks after him doesnt speak to him his grandads as bad and isnt interested in him realy she wishes she had a proper grandson one she could be proud of. My son naturally cannot stand it on the rare occasion he has to be looked after at her house and when he returns home he always kicks of and relays tales of what has been said or done to him.

My daughters 14 and can be a right pain in the backside.Stroppy moody selfish and only wants us for money.Everything we do is naff and like youre daughter her freinds mum is so cool and absolutley lovely Its just normal teenage behaviour i guess its what there all like.Just recentley whilst cleaning/noseing round her room i found a letter shed written to me but not given me hidden away under her pillow.In it it said how much she loved me but didnt show it and how she appreciated all i did for her. Made me cry but i didnt mention id found it.Just the knowledge that this is what she actually thought but didnt voice was enough for me to see her in a whole new light. Hey youre not alone in daughters shifting boyfreinds in as soon as parents go of on holiday.My next door neighbour left there 16 year old daughter for a fortnight whilst they went on holls with instruction s no boyfreind.He was moved in straight away.Parties everynight and the whiff of cannabis wafting over the fence.He moved out houres before they got home followed by frantic cleaning.All the neighboures were sworn to secrecy you had to laugh.The parents hated him and had banned him from the house.She dumped him shortley afterwards realised he was a bore to live with and she was fed up of looking after him.

My son went through a period where he talked about a freind at school and used a name.It was only when i enquired at school that i realised there was no such boy there. Nows the weird part.When i told my grandma about this and mentioned the name she looked shocked and informed me that my dad had a so called made up freind of the same name when he was a boy. It gave me comfort thinking just maybe someone was watching over my son dureing the difficult year he spent at mainstream school.Because after he left and started special school he never mentioned the "spirit" boy againe.

My son was statmented for special education before he started attending school.The statement was in place before he started mainstream school at 5.It was all done via assesment teams and drs and stuff and an educational physcologist. He now attends a special school and is 12 so its a while back when all this was done and the system might have altered.Im from west yorkshire so maybe different areas are different.

Reading this post has been a great releif for me as i thought it was onley my As son who displayed this type of behaviour and i darent post about it because i thought people might think it was weird. My son is 12 and hes constantly saying i love you mum but gives me a creepy look at times.He drives his siter mad because hes picked up on the word sexy and uses it when he compliments her on whats shes wearing.Hes trying to be nice but she calls him a pervert. Like peole say in the home you just accept it but outside the home youre wondering what people think.Weve tried to say we dont do that or we dont kiss daddy on the lips ect ect . After spending years just wishing hed touch my hand youre kinda not wanting to set things back to no contact againe but youre worried itll cause trouble in the real world. I hope he grows outta it.Maybe next time he has a school review i will mention it and see if they can talk about inapropriate behaviour and social bounderies.He tends to listen more to the teachers.

<'> <'> <'> <'> Have them from someone who also thinks youre a great mum and whoes also been there. Lets face it wed have to be bloomeing saints to not let it get to us every now and againe.Because its bloomeing hard harder than people can ever imageing. Everyhting is a fight,you fight the authorities for a diagnosis you then have to fight for the correct help and youre doing all this whilst looking after an autistic child,running a home and doing everything else.No wonder we get worn down tired and snap. But it doesnt mean we dont love our kids it simpley means were human like the rest of them. I let ripp at my As son last night i just couldnt take no more.He was ranting and yelling and i was tired and i found myself screaming at him to shut up. I fealt terrible afterwards.But a fleeting cuddle and me saying im sorry and it was all forgotten. I dont know about youre area i live in west yorkshire.And there is a group called familey link.It provides respite for people with disabled kids within another familey that you get to know gradualy over months.I didnt qualify because im married and have familey close by its aimed more at the single parent or people who dont have familey near.Maybe you could see about that and get a break from it all. But i bet youll feel like i feel when i contemplate bringing outside help guiltey so i plough on.We cant win. Take care dont beat youreself up over it.I tell you if i beat myself up over all the times ive let it all get to me id be black and blue.

Thing is though and this is what we should be complaining about why should we as parents not be beleived when we say our children behave like this or that. Why are we brushed aside and looked at as though were making it all up. I used to get so bloomeing angry that my son went for assesments basically once every 2 years and that they only lasted 30 minutes>thats how they assessed hjim and low and behold he never displayed any AS behaviours let alone meltdowns in this allocated period. They just looked at me as though i was stupid when i reeled of all the trouble we were haveing and said stuff like well he doesnt appear to us to be capable of doing this. The thing is i was kinda lucky. y son was born with a congenital abnormality call bi lateral choanal atresia which meant he was in the system and receiving help early on because of this condition the AS was if you like a bi product that took years to get reconised and then they wont rubber stamp it on his medical records.I often wonder how id have gone on if he hadnt had other more obvious problems.Because no one ever listens to the mother or father.Were just brushed aside. Drs can sometimes have the if we dont see it her and now then we dont care what you say it doesnt happen and youre a fussy mother.