Two naughty children!

I just had to write this call me unchristian and selfish, but I was so angry this morning to hea that our Government is giving Mowsambique (can't spell) ?86billion pounds to educate their children. What about mine!!!!

Nellie Thanks for that, but what I am telling him is to put it in English that even us simple parents can understand!! Are parent partnership seems to drifting away from the point, this again I feel is to lack of funding and also I think they have to many people turning to them for help these day, they just don't get back to you.

I had this very discussion with the head of our local Learning Support Service earlier this week, following a meeting we had with him at a local parenting group he called me to try and answer some questions he had not been able to at the time. Two main points came out of our conversation:- 1. The frustration we as parents feel toward the LEA and related deparments for not listening 2. The LEA and related deparments never take into account what parents say and rely on reports from 'professionals' in reply to point 1 we both agreed that as much as the LEA etc don't listen to us we as parent don't listen to them, the reason being that we don't understand how the system works, and we feel that everything comes down to funding, which he said was not true and often it was due to procedure, I said there should be a clear and precise outline which can be given to parents so we fully understand procedures. In reply to point 2 which was much shorter - i told him we are the 'professionals', how can schools be expected to offer ASD children education when the Educators need educating. Pick me up off the floor I think he listened and said he would look into the points raised and ring me back after Easter. (i keep looking for a pig flying past, but havn't seen one yet!!)

Wish I could help but got the same situation with my son, and at the moment I'm very confused, there doesn't seem to be any clear difference the two things seem to merge into one, but I'm sure the 'professionals' will give him plenty of labels when the time comes. Just hang in there and smile - people always presume we as parents must have something wrong with us anyway so try and let it all wash over you.

Wish I could help but got the same situation with my son, and at the moment I'm very confused, there doesn't seem to be any clear difference the two things seem to merge into one, but I'm sure the 'professionals' will give him plenty of labels when the time comes.

I've signed up, lets hope it makes a difference

Had to send mine away for recovery as 'NC1' was absolutly fascinated by what had happened to him and wouldn't leave him alone. Good luck with the fencing, make sure they give you a quote with concrete gravel boards as this means the panels last loads longer and you can just slide replacements in, costs a bit more but well worth it.

Once saw Uli John Roth in concert great guitarist

Speechless as well

jb1964 You could have my daughter living with you she is 10 and exactly the same!! She is also very slow at eating, and never eats or drinks away from home, which has been a worry at school as but we all know you can't make them do something they don't want to.

I confess i don't understand most of what you said sorry I'm a bit thick My daughter has Touch - problems with being touched by anyone other than immediate family But comes and cuddles us to the point of pain Clothes are a particular problem will only wear what feels right and always wears thick wooly tights even in summer, finding shoes that don't feel funny is almost impossible Smell - Won't go anywhere unless it smells right - the advantage of this is she hates McDonalds - the down side is you can be talking to someone and she will say we have to go because they smell funny (how embarassing) Visual - Constantly pulls curtains because she likes to be in the dark - but not completely dark Taste - cannot have food mixed together - no cottage pie, but will eat mince beef gravy and mash potatoes seperately Balance and coordination - 'NC1' is 10 and still cannot use a knife and fork , not through lack of trying it really upsets her to the point she will now not eat away from home. She also still has problems with buttons and zips. Her balance is good and we put this down to her horse riding since she was 3 and we have our own horses so its a case of having to develop or fall off (I'm such a cruel mother!!)

How lovely, I'm so happy for you all, it's wonderful your partner and his brother have such a good supportive family around them.

two sayings spring to mind It's not what you know it's who you know And better to be born lucky than rich I would love a neighbour like yours and I hope your son enjoys his new job

Green

'NC1' 10 year old girl ASD - obsessed with horses lives breathes and is a horse apart from when she is at home when she becomes a rat (general theme of animals here) she can't do anything without her pet rat including eating and having a bath, either on her shoulder or down her top, drives me nuts!! She is also obssessed with death, she has been since about the age of 5, any human disaster she thinks is great and the more bodies she sees on telly the better, I have caught her sneeking into my room to try and watch CSI and holby city and casualty are a must for her although she gets upset when people survive!! 'NC2' 8 year old boy - no diagnosis as yet - obssessed with stones and money to the point at a horse show recently he decided to sell the hard core car park to the spectators for 50p a rock (he made ?5.50) 'm not sure if this counts as an obssession but he insists on playing tig all the time

Congratulations, enjoy every moment of it

Should of got a greyhound, i'm lucky if I can get mine to get out of bed!! Use to have a springer x collie completely nuts and seemed to spend more time out than in no matter what we did, had to take him to the vets to be 'seen to' did calm him down a bit, but the best thing was when we put extra trellis on top of the fence and then I grew pyracantha up it he never escaped again, not sure which thing cured him though.

My MIL is beyond description - she was the deputy head of a special school and a fully qualified SENCO - needless to say 'NC1' who is diagnosed ASD has nothing wrong with her according to MIL. 'NC1' will not go near her and I find it very difficult to be in the same room as she is in such denial it makes me want to commit murder. I am getting better though, my sarcastic remarks seem to go over her head. Do you think that all teachers are brain washed in their student days or are they taught to ignore ASD

i've got a 15 year old NT girl who lives with me. She can be so vile sometimes and then the next minute absolutely lovely, especially if she wants something. I am now having to get really firm and harsh with her as even I can see she is taking advantage, and has worked out there is nothing that will hurt me more than saying I love my ASD child more and give her more, my younger son says she is a spoilt brat, "out of the mouth of babes". I feel really bad when I have to be hard on her, but I know it will make her a stronger person in the long run. I think all girls are manipulative, I know I can be with my husband when I want something, but I would never admit that to him or the kids, so don't tell anyone!! Just stay firm and things will get better, I can see a light at the end of the tunnel, but it's been hard.

I will take your advice thank you, I should think they cringe at my name on the top of a letter in the House of Commons now!!

Hello, new to this myself, but my daughter was diagnosed in June '05 so if I can help PM you questionnaire and anything else you would like to know

No, never heard of it

You sound as angry as me!! I am at the moment having discussions with the head of our local Learning support service and I pointed out to him that the educators need educating before they can be expected to educated, that went down like a lead balloon. I am so sad I take in articles I find on the internet and give them to my SENCO and 'NC1's class teacher in the hope they will eventually get the message. I also have the added problem that because 'NC1' is a girl she displays her ASD in a different way to boys and the SENCO thinks that means there is nothing wrong with her. If you phone the DLA they are actually really helpful and can tell you where your claim fell short, they are so use to the school protecting themselves that although they ask them the questions I am not sure how much notice they take of the answers as long as you have other independent reports to support you.

I can't remember who told me about Learned passivity all I know is it made me feel better. When you are constantly told you child is adorable and a perfect student who never causes a fuss and then comes home and ripes her bedroom door off the hinges or hits you, you start to wonder what you have done wrong. But now I look at 'NC1' as just showing how much she loves and trusts me when she does these things, because she can only do them when she feels safe and secure. I also feel that schools should not be asked but if the DLA are going to milk it for all your worth. Show how lacking the SENCO is by the fact that you have all this information about you childs problems and issues and the school is not taking it into consideration. Also point out to them you are not asking them to lie but by the same token could they consider the bad days and not only the good, they can also put on the forms any problems you have reported about getting a child to school, and explain you feel this has no reflection on their teaching ability. We told to apply for DLA by our Primary Trust and i remember when I told the school our SENCO said I did not need it, but my reply was 'you obviously havn'g taken on board the kind of problems we are having' that soon shut her up. And remember put everything in writing to the school and never have a meeting without a witness - How paranoid do I sound?? Good luck and don't give up

I have been so infuriated by all the educational deparments sitting on their backsides that I decided to sit on mine and write to various MP's I started with my local one who has been surprisingly helpful and we are currently awaiting a reply from the Corporate Director of Education and children's Services to questions about funding and training. I am still awaiting a replies to a recent letters I sent to Jacqui Smith Mp - who is Minister of State for Schools. and Lord Adonis who is the Parliamentary Under-Secretary of State for Schools the latter of which apparently has a particular focus on SEN and disability. If anyone has any further victims they would like to put forward for my letter writing, please could you let me know, as I feel I can't expect other people to fight for my children if I am not prepared to. Thanks