steve been arrested

[hev]

steve had major meltdown and went for nick with a pool cue and attacked me,he then went in the toilet and called the police on us,wouldnt calm down when they got here and kept asking to be arrested,wouldnt put the pool cue down,been arrested for breach of the peace,its a nightmare,i wont sleep tonight,waiting to hear fromn police now

[phoebe]

OMG what can I say. Thinking of you babe. <'> <'> <'>

[Cat]

<'> <'> <'> Totally inadequate I know.

 

You can not go on like this Hev something has to give. Someone must do something for you now.

 

thinking about you

 

Cat

[pearl]

Was just off to bed when I saw this. Big <'> for you Hev

[Bagpuss]

Hev Don't know what to say...words seem really inadequate right now <'> <'>

[baddad]

Hi Hev -

 

pointless to say it, i know, but try not to worry too much...

 

He'll either be home in a few hours when he calms down, or will be spending ONE NIGHT in the cells to sleep it off. It's not easy to see any positives in this, I'm sure, but the truth is everything that is going on for S is highlighting just how difficult he finds life right now. That's not your fault, and it's not his - it's just how it is, but people who can help DO need to see how serious it is, and this can only strengthen your (his) case...

 

Very VERY best to you all, and try to get some sleep if you can. Sounds crazy but one thing you can be absolutely sure of is that he's safe and OK where he is, and that you will hear straight away if that changes 'cos they'll be phoning to let you know he's on his way home.

 

L&P

 

BD <'> <'>

[Flora]

hev hun <'> <'> <'> <'>

 

Thinking of you all...

 

love flora <'>

[Kathryn]

Hev

 

<'> <'> <'>

 

K x

[bid]

Oh Hev <'> <'>

 

Were the police aware of his dx, because he is classed as a vulnerable person and should have been treated accordingly.

 

You need to phone everyone (school, SS, LEA, GP, your MP - everyone) today to tell then what has happened and tell them that you are all in crisis and need proper support NOW.

 

The Code of Practice does allow for an emergency placement for a child. I've given my copy to a friend, but maybe Kathryn or someone can look up the reference for you?

 

Good luck, hun <'> <'> <'>

 

Bid

[curra]

Hev <'> <'> <'>

 

 

I agree with Bid, the Police must be made aware asap of his dx and you can ask for an officer who knows about AS to talk to him. He is not a yob or a delinquent but a boy who is going through too much stress. My DS was involved with the police last year and although he was not arrested it was awful for him and for me. You need to be supported now by SS and the GP.

 

Thinking of you

 

Curra

[JsMum]

Hi Hev, I cant believe this, arrestted, he is thirteen isnt he?

 

surely the police should of made arrangements for a full psychiartict assessment in a young placement as he has AS and will need a full evaluation in a setting that will provide support and understanding, I would contact NAS and see if there is somewhere more suitable than a police station cell, for anyone these places stink of wee and booze, no place for a child with AS its disgusting, I would be contacting the childrens rights representatives and ensuring that today he is taken to a suitable place to be fully assessed.

 

Nas will know more on the emergancy placements.

 

Another place to ask for more spercific support is Youngminds, they will have further support for information on what procedures the police should of taken when they arressted steve.

 

Youngminds will know more on what he can be charged with as well because what is clear is that his behaviour was contributed because of a whole range of issues from been lack of support, unable to communicate effectively, and his AS.

 

I know that Contact a family are also very knowledgeable as well, so they are also another place to try and get some help.

 

today is the day where the social services actually act and get their butts in to gear, well they waited for the crisis and now its here.

 

buts its at the cost of an 13 year old AS out of his own control!!!!!!!and spending the night in the police cells designed for criminals not destressed SEN children!!!!

 

JsMum

[carrieq]

I am so sorry. Hope you have got through the night ok.

Thinking of you all

Carrie

[annie]

<'> <'> Hev <'> <'> ,

 

Alex was arrested and cautioned a couple of years ago. Before he was released from the police station, he was seen by a doctor. They wouldn't let him go until he was seen. We were lucky (if you can call it that), in that one of the police officers had a son with Aspergers.

 

As Bid has said, get on the phone to everybody. You all desperately need support, and you need it now!

 

Here's the piece about emergency placements from the COP.

 

8.4 Assessment and emergency placements

 

In exceptional cases it may be necessary to make an emergency placement for a child, for example where:

 

the child's medical circumstances have changed suddenly, causing a rapid and serious deterioration in the child's health or development;

the parents, school, relevant professionals and the LEA agree that a sudden and serious deterioration in the child's behaviour make the child's current placement untenable or unsafe;

where a child arriving unexpectedly in the LEA exhibits such significant learning difficulties as would normally warrant a statement; the LEA should consult the parents and those immediately concerned, including the previous LEA, about the most appropriate placement;

where a young person returns home from a secure unit or young offender institution

An emergency placement should only be made when the LEA, parents, school and relevant professionals are all agreed that the child's needs are such that action must be taken immediately and an emergency placement is the best way forward.

 

When an emergency placement is made, the LEA should immediately initiate a statutory assessment. It is likely that the assessment will conclude that a statement should be made. If the child has been placed, and will remain in a special school, a statement should always be made.

 

If, however, the assessment concludes that a statement is not necessary, the child's emergency placement should be reconsidered. Decisions about how the child's needs should be best met in the longer term should not be prejudiced by the nature of the emergency placement. Statements drawn up in these circumstances should include detailed objectives with clearly specified review arrangements to monitor the efficacy of the provision made for the child. Whilst the LEA has a duty to review the statement on an annual basis, they may wish to use their powers to review more frequently and to ask for interim reports on the child's progress.

 

Where a social services department makes an emergency placement out of their own budget for a child with a statement of SEN, they should immediately inform the LEA, especially where the placement is in an independent school.

 

 

 

 

 

Let us know how you get on hun.

 

Annie xx

<'>

[bikergal]

<'> <'> <'> Thinking of you Hev

[marshmallow]

<'> <'> <'> Hev,thinking of you, I hope things get sorted soon.

[dolly]

<'> <'> <'> Hev hope you get the help you need very soon XXXXX

[Platefull of Love]

Thinking of you Hun <'> <'>

[butterfingersbimbo]

oh chic what a nightmare, but i hope that it finally gets you some support <'>

[hev]

they arrested him for breach of peace then he was due to go to court today,instead they calmed him down and let him go to my sisters,hes there now,he thought it was so cool,he said he would go with them peacefully and wanted handcuffs,doesnt realise implications,said hes not coming back here cos he dont feel safe i know it sounds ridiculous but he is obsessed by the bill programme and has always wanted to be arrested,im at my wits end,got in touch with my mp,waiting for lea and school to phone me back,thanks for your support <'>

[butterfingersbimbo]

<'> hopefully now he has been arrested that might cure him of his obsession......well you can live in hope.....

[Clare63]

Oh Hev, I just don't know what to say, what a nightmare.

Hope you get all the help you need. Thinking of you.

Clare x <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'>

[smiley]

God Hev, reading that has made me cry

 

As always.....anything, ANYTHING at all i can do to help, even if it's just a quick natter.......... <'> <'>

 

Your MP was supportive with getting respite wasn't he/she??? Get on the phone to them first.

 

Really wish i could do more to help

 

<'>

[louxx]

Hi hev <'> <'>

so sorry to hear your going through it. I must say that we have just been told if reece(16) gets into trouble with the law we will get more help than we can get now, how awful is that eh?

I really feel for you because theres not much out there for us is there?? we are basically left to struggle on.

good luck to you

take care <'>

louxx

[Bullet]

<'> <'> Hev <'> <'>

[Paula]

<'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'>

[hev]

hes staying up mums for a couple of days,social services have been in touch with cahms to get us an earlier appointment,have had no contact with steven,best thing at the moment,what upsets me is that he dont care about anything,which makes things very hard to deal with as he doesnt care if im sitting there sobbing,i was heartbroken when he told the police he dont feel safe with me

[smiley]

<'> <'> <'>

[hev]

smiley all sent to test us eh?

[annie]

<'> <'> Hev <'> <'>

 

I really hope that everything starts to speed up now. It's crazy that things have to hit rock bottom before anybody will sit up and listen .

 

Hang in there Hev.

 

Annie xx

<'>

[smiley]

smiley all sent to test us eh?

 

<'> Speak to you later xxxxxxxxxxxx

[Bambi]

Awww hev i am so sorry hun and i wish i could make it all better for ya so as i cant im sending u these <'> <'> <'> <'> <'>

 

I know what u mean about he doesnt care that ur sat there sobbing, i pray that one day my son will understand feelings but i have to realise he may never grasp it. I have threatened T with the police coming if he doesnt calm down and stop shouting at 4 am in the morn (my neighbours are very considerate to Ts difficulties) but its still hard to live with and we want them to have fear so they can learn right from wrong. Well T says he will 'kick the police' while laughing so i know he as no awareness of authority and he never has all through him growing up.

 

T doesnt feel safe at his dad's and he will say he is scared and he hates him (im a single mother) but we know that is to do with change and his dad does have a lot to learn in respect of Ts difficulties but im sure he will get there (not without me educating him along the way eh!)

 

Hang in there hun and make sure all are aware of the situation and dont let anyone blame u for whats happened because u have done NOTHING wrong and ur a great mum

 

Bambi x

[brooke]

Hev

Ive just read this m so sorry, dont know what to say <'> <'>

Brooke

[louxx]

i can understand what bambi is saying, my son at 16 and 5ft 9" says he will get all sorts to hit the police with if they come, the same with social services and anyone else he dosnt like at the time, i have to keep repeating that it would mean prison and you dont just come home when you get in trouble.The thing is reece dosnt step out the house so i know its all in his mind, well i hope it is anyway. As for feelings its hard to take that is, you sit and think, well i do, all that i do and all you give up and they just dont understand, it means nothing to them. Reece wont even go for a ride in the car with my hubby because he thinks he might kill him and hide his body, somethings i just dont understand myself. I really feel for you tho hev, its so hard and hurtful.... <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'>

Edited March 20, 2007 by louxx

[hev]

mum phoned,all hes concerned about is his pocket money he was trying to boast about it to my sister on the phone about it all but she wouldntlisten to him,hes on a high still,spose i will have to wait for him to come down off it

[David Matthew Baker]

I missed this earlier. Sorry to hear how bad things have got. Things at least can only get better now. Hopefully this will be the wake up call certain groups needed. The police were called one day to the special school whilst I was there and I know afterwards the student involved felt embarrased and seemed to regret his actions. That wasn't really his fault either. I found it hard too as it was a student I got on with very well. I can see why the head came to the decision though. After all he had been restrained for over an hour and wasn't calming down. Police at least managed to get him out of it. The school said they didn't want anything done other than a small talk about wasting police time. School also would have liked a few other students to have been talked to but wires got crossed. What I don't know is what sort of effect it had in the long term. That happened just before I left. In fact said student had forgotten I'd been there when I was back a couple of weeks later for the last session of team teach training. Hopefully life has improved for him now. That all happened because some of the older students slagged off his mum. (I know that I got in a few scrapes at school because of that.)

 

Once again I hope things now get better. Thinking of you, David.

[hev]

hes passed a message on to me that hes sending someone over for his clothes tomorrow its no use to me trying to talk to him,im waiting for him to miss me,i miss him

[Clare63]

<'> <'> <'>

Oh Hev of course you miss him I am sure he'll miss you too real soon, take this as an opportunity to re charge your batteries.

Take care and try not to worry too much.

Clare x

<'> <'> <'>

[hev]

im wondering if im doing the right thing,im not forcing him to come home but by letting him stay at mum and dads he might like it there better than here and not want to come back,any advice?

[baddad]

Hi Hev - my advice is make the most of the day or so off, 'cos he'll be home again the first time your mum and dad have a moan at him! Concentrate on yourself, Nick and the baby for a change, 'cos it won't be long before he's home again, I'm sure...

 

L&P

 

BD <'>

[Kathrynh]

<'> <'> <'>

I agree with Baddad. Give yourself a break. you need and deserve it.