annie Report post Posted September 27, 2005 ...........the angels and a quiet night in don't normally go hand in hand.......5 bottles of Pinot and half a packet of herb nerbs later (the angels are on a health kick) Suze, Legs, Lauren and Mel decide to tackle Beyonce's 'Crazy in love' , bum dance included. A whole lotta was going on, and not always from the bum area, especially since Suze's silicone enhanced chest were involved One by one the girlies gradually snuggled down to bed in the Bat bedroom, bruises now carefully greased with Sudocrem which they managed to retrieve from the Judge ............another night in the Batcave over..........what will tomorrow bring????? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
littlenemo Report post Posted September 28, 2005 (edited) ..........what will tomorrow bring????? The Batcave's 10 thousandth viewer As he melts down the empties, hoovers up the crumbs and dusts the Judge's high chair with flea powder, Cinderella Boy mind drifts back to the years spent alone and can't believe the change. He remembers Kris' comment at the very beginning (post no.3): "Oh god!!! They've lost the plot totally now!!! " If only he'd known... In less than 18 months the Batcave has become the world's least secret superhero hideout Feeding the Central Scrutiniser, who is hanging upside-down from the Batcave mirrorball, arms and legs tied up with one of Legs' uberthongs, he wonders what the next 18 months will bring... All he can see is an endless procession of men in white coats Thanks to all whose insanity has helped keep us sane (and repeatedly made us spray our keyboards with coffee ) Edited September 28, 2005 by littlenemo Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
annie Report post Posted September 28, 2005 nerb roblem XX Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
annie Report post Posted September 28, 2005 (edited) Legs lets out a big yaaaaaaaawn, arms stretch out, eyes ping open . A new day in the Batcave has begun. A ray of light flickers through the Bat bedroom door, it's coming from the Bat mirrorball hanging from the Bat lounge ceiling. "if only the Central Scrutiniser would keep still, he's got no consideration for sleeping Super-heroes" thinks Legs stumbling her way over the heaving bodies of the other angels . As Legs enters the Bat lounge she notices that CB is flicking cheesey wotsits at the Central Scrutiniser. "ah, feeding time again", she thinks .Time for a cuppa. Edited September 28, 2005 by annie Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zemanski Report post Posted September 28, 2005 isn't it time you got on with hynotising this guy and putting him to good use? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
littlenemo Report post Posted September 28, 2005 And then there's the latest weapon to emerge from the Batlabs: small metal throwing disks like minature Frisbees for cutting LEA officials down to size with their razor-sharp edges and rich choclatey coating - Nerbs of Steel! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mossgrove Report post Posted September 28, 2005 This is the CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER... That was Joe's first confrontation with The Law. Naturally, we were easy on him. One of our friendly counselors gave him A do-nut...and told him to Stick closer to church-oriented social activities. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mel Report post Posted September 28, 2005 Legs' stumbling has woken Mel, she clambers out of the cupboard flicking herb nerb crumbs out of tatty, creased shiny bin bag. "its about time i got a new one of these." [isn't it time you got on with hynotising this guy and putting him to good use? QUOTE] we're angels...... no one said we were clever (...im speaking for myself here and no one else.) i think i need a cuppa too....and a bath.... sudocrem stinks ugh!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mel Report post Posted September 28, 2005 P.S how do ya do quotes? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Suze Report post Posted September 28, 2005 Another morning arises to the sounds of James Blunts "High" ............there is a light mist inside the cave this a.m, probably due to the air temp and sweaty bodies. Judges sensory room door opens and out he creeps................or rather waddles ......or is that a shuffle. His gait this a.m. isn,t the normal confident saunter of the moderator extraordinaire, oh no ....... ....it seems he,s a little tender in parts and his usual swagger has been replaced by a "legs akimbo" tip toe......could that inflammation from last night still be a problem ? ..............he grabs a bag of frozen peas from the bat freezer and stuffs it down his jimmer jammers, aaaahhhh!!!!! "that feels better" he drools......(that should cure that inflammed spot quie nicely )............as he lies back in his super-hero ,man only, massaging, vibrating, swivelling, reclining , leather chair, he closes his eyes and dreams of his revenge on the angels, .................what naughty ,trick can he come up with??????.......................deep heat in Suzes favourite support bra??????......................herb nerb crumbs/and super glu down Legss bestest tight tights???.................the options are endless Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
littlenemo Report post Posted September 28, 2005 (edited) P.S how do ya do quotes? At the top of all posts is a 'quote' button. If you click on that it brings up the usual 'reply' window with the box for typing stuff in. Below that is a box titled "Original Post to Quote" with the text of the original post. You can delete any of that text that isn't relevant (or add bits, which is not only unethical, but confuses everyone wonderfully ) Hope that helps And I see that mosgrove has dug up the Central Ssscrutiniserss origin (though quoting from a different forum is likely to confuse folks, too) Edited September 28, 2005 by littlenemo Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mossgrove Report post Posted September 28, 2005 (edited) And I see that mosgrove has dug up the Central Ssscrutiniserss origin (though quoting from a different forum is likely to confuse folks, too) I wasn't quoting from a forum, I was quoting from the great man himself. He was plainly barking mad, but had the Batcave been around in his day it would have given him a good run for his money! The central scrutinizer:- Sometimes when you're not looking he just sneaks up on you. He looks like a cheap sort of flying saucer about five feet across with a snout-like megaphone apparatus in the front with two big eyes mounted like Appletons with miniature motorized frowning chrome eyebrows over them. Along the side of his disc-like body are several sets of stupid-looking headers and exhaust hoses which apparently propel him and punctuate his dialogue with horrible smelling smoke rings. In the middle of his head we can see an airport wind sock and constantly twirling anemometer. The bottom of him has a landing light and three spoked wheels. In spite of all this, it is obvious that the way he really gets around is by being dangled from place to place by a union guy with a dark green shirt up in the roof who is eating a sandwich (pieces of which drop off every once in a while and lodge themselves near the hole where they put the oil in that makes the cheap smoke). He hovers into view and speaks to us thusly... Central Scrutinizer: This is the CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER...it is my responsibility to enforce all the laws that haven't been passed yet. It is also my responsibility to alert each and every one of you to the potential consequences of various ordinary everyday activities you might be performing which could eventually lead to *The Death Penalty* (or affect your parents' credit rating). Our criminal institutions are full of little creeps like you who do wrong things...and many of them were driven to these crimes by a horrible force called MUSIC! Our studies have shown that this horrible force is so dangerous to society at large that laws are being drawn up at this very moment to stop it forever! Cruel and inhuman punishments are being carefully described in tiny paragraphs so they won't conflict with the Constitution (which, itself, is being modified in order to accommodate THE FUTURE). I bring you now a special presentation to show what can happen to you if you choose a career in MUSIC...The WHITE ZONE is for loading and unloading only...if you have to load or unload, go to the WHITE ZONE... you'll love it...it's a way of life...Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha...Hi, it's me, I'm back. This is the CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER...The WHITE ZONE is for loading and unloading only...If yah gotta load, or if yah gotta unload, go to the WHITE ZONE. You'll love it...it's a way of life. That's right, you'll love it, it's a way of life, that's right, you'll love it, it's a way of life, you'll love it. This, is, the CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER! � Edited September 28, 2005 by mossgrove Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Suze Report post Posted September 28, 2005 ................so it was the Central scrutinizers landing light that brought the daddy long legs,s in ......................sorry badders Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
annie Report post Posted September 28, 2005 (edited) As tea and herb nerbs were served to all , the Judge, cold mist wafting from his nether region says "today is the day for the Central Scrutiniser to be initiated into our merry group of super-heroes" The angels all rise from their seats, unfortunately the Judge can't , numb nuts come to mind, he leaves the cutting of the uberthong and release of the ex-LEA CS in the capable hands of the angels The ceremonial robing, as opposed to de-robing takes place of our new super-hero , Cinderella Boy having quickly knocked up a new outfit sighs "a perfect fit, I think a larger codpiece may be needed though" . The 'Bat-emergency-I'm-a-parent-who-desperately-needs-help-phone' rings, Suze answers it with her usual calmness. The Super-heroes wait silently while she takes the call. Hand on hip, Suze re-assures the desperate parent that all will be resolved. As quick as a flash, they were gone into the distance, all you could see was a puff of dust and an orange flashing light. Edited September 28, 2005 by annie Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
littlenemo Report post Posted September 28, 2005 Oh dear. I appear to have lost the plot (literally) First Sometimes when you're not looking he just sneaks up on you. He looks like a cheap sort of flying saucer about five feet across with a snout-like megaphone apparatus in the front with two big eyes mounted like Appletons with miniature motorized frowning chrome eyebrows over them. Along the side of his disc-like body are several sets of stupid-looking headers and exhaust hoses which apparently propel him and punctuate his dialogue with horrible smelling smoke rings. In the middle of his head we can see an airport wind sock and constantly twirling anemometer. The bottom of him has a landing light and three spoked wheels. In spite of all this, it is obvious that the way he really gets around is by being dangled from place to place by a union guy with a dark green shirt up in the roof who is eating a sandwich (pieces of which drop off every once in a while and lodge themselves near the hole where they put the oil in that makes the cheap smoke). He hovers into view and speaks to us thusly... That bit wasn't on the album when I got it. Where did it come from? And second Since when did the Batpack allow totalitarian dictators into the squad? Or is this just a ruse to feed him false info (and stale hairy herb nerbs from down the back of the sofa )? Time (or possibly badders) will tell... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
call me jaded Report post Posted September 28, 2005 Jaded peeks into the cave. As she'd hoped it's deserted. She whips out a duster and with a quick trill of 'The hills are alive...' manages to do two years of washing up, unload the white zone [some people...], and have a hoover through before the superheroes return She leaves assuming she has not been detected... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mel Report post Posted September 28, 2005 I dont think that bit is on my album either nemo, and thanks for the quote info Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Elefan Report post Posted September 28, 2005 All, Just to let you know that I will be closing the Batcave with affect from tomorrow. Elefan Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Elefan Report post Posted September 28, 2005 Heh heh heh,... As if!!! DW and Robbie! xx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
annie Report post Posted September 28, 2005 (edited) Eek Elefan.......I was begining to wonder if I was going to have to do h.o.u.s.e.w.o.r.k. phew Annie (the palpatations are just starting to ease off) <'> <'> Edited September 28, 2005 by annie Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mel Report post Posted September 28, 2005 jeepers, h.o.u.s.e.w.o.r.k.., closing the batcave...scary thoughts...i need a herb nerb now to recover. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Suze Report post Posted September 28, 2005 Suze replaces the bat phone on the table. Covert operations by members of the "SEN play -ground -posse" have alerted the Super heroes to a common new -term problem. It seems far too many senco,s and heads are resting on their laurels and using the COP,statements and IEP,s as coasters for their numerous cups of coffee . The super-heroes must act on this info and put some rockets up some jacksy,s and stun them into action . It seems the complaint phone lines at play- ground- posse central have been red hot ,parents at their wits end struggling with playground issues , disability rights issues , lack of support issues............................. The Angels jump up and run to the super hero tool kit cupboard, The judge with now wet crotch due to melting pea incident jumps up ...rejuvenated it seems , the chicks and chap flee in to the morning mist, woe betide those senco,s and heads when the super-heroes get hold of them . As they leave two little figures emerge from the shadow,s it seems cinderella boy has made a new friend , a cleaning buddy no less, Jaded by name , but not by nature. So another day begins ,will it bring about another evening of wild partying, wine consuming and twiglet munching I hope so , lets get the karaoke out again! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Elefan Report post Posted September 28, 2005 h.o.u.s.e.w.o.r.k.., Remind me to add that word to the list of swear words that can get a member banned!! Elefan xx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
annie Report post Posted September 28, 2005 As the super-heroes arrive at the local un-named local primary school. It is lunch-time , many children are out in the playground.....The super-heroes spread out around the school perimeter and slowly move forward to meet at the SENCO's office .....at the door to the office are Suze, the Judge and Legs. Lauren and Mel have got the emergency exits covered . The sign on the door reads 'MEETING IN PROGRESS'. "ha, this should be fun, let's do it" says Suze, her enormous silicone-filled hypnotising boobs pre-tweeked and ready to do the job they were made for The Judge kicks open the door to find the desperate parents on their knees pleading for the provisions written in their child's statement .....The Head is shaking his head holding a piggy-bank in his left hand saying "we are saving the money that should be paying for your child's LSA, it is going to pay for me to go on the end of year 6's trip to France" Suze's boobs begin to hypnotize the Head The Judge uses his 'nerb's of steel' to stun the SENCO and Legs is akimbo the SEN Officer giving her famous 'thigh-lock' . Mel and Lauren crash through the window of the SENCO's office and begin gathering up IEP's and Statements that were strewn all over the place, some with coffee cup marks on, others that had marks unknown on . With the Head, SENCO and SEN Officer powerless to wriggle out of their responsibilities now, the Judge shoves the pile of paperwork under the snivelling noses of the devious trio. Our super-heroes have succeeded in getting written confirmation that all SEN children will get the rightful help that they are entitled to . The deperate parents are overwhelmed with emotion thanking our super-heroes for a job well done .........As fast as they arrived, the Judge and his Angels were gone.........yet another mission successfully completed Yet another paaaaarty tonight Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Flora Report post Posted September 28, 2005 On arriving back at the BatCave the angels went straight to the bat cupboard for supplies of herb nerbs ( ) and pinot. Being a super heroe is hungry work! You greedy boogas!! said Lauren delicately as an empty bottle rolled at her feet and crunched over the herb nerb crermbs . Whose turn is it to forage for provisions?? How can we have a party on a dribble of pinot and a few crerms (aka crumbs)? Annie looks for her crayons so she can draw CB a list for provisions. 'Has anyone got any paper?' Lauren reaches behind her to tear the label off her directoire bloomers 'Blooming heck' shreiked the other girls... what is that you're wearing Lauren???'. Lauren Blushed There's a long story attached to these big knickers and she aint telling! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mel Report post Posted September 28, 2005 awww go on, please tell... yer know ya wanna!!!! mel enters the cobweb filled batcupboard on the left side of the bat-table where she keeps her secret stash of pinot and herb nerbs..... "lets stick these in the freezer so they chill quicker" "like a bat out'a hell il be gone when the morning comes...when the day is done and the sun goes down and the moonlights shining throooo ooo oo ooooooooo.... then like a sinner, before the gates of etc" ..... sorry, got a bit karaokied away there. whos turn is it next on the karaoke? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Suze Report post Posted September 28, 2005 .........Lauren love the bloomers idea, can they inflate to allow you to swoop from above on missions. Also feel they should be the regulation purple, perhaps with a decorative frill at the bottom and silver ruffles on your A*se, ....sorry bot -bot . I,m also a little worried about the disappearance of the Pinot and nibble, ies, hope cinders and Jaded havent been at it while we were on our mission..............Annie sorry Legs ...loved the mission break down, the tweaking of course always plays an intricate part in the hypnotic process. ............any way shall be back shortly with some more provisions..............where,s the rest of the crew.....is it Badders bath night??? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Flora Report post Posted September 28, 2005 Chilled herb nerbs Are you sure about that mel?? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Flora Report post Posted September 28, 2005 Lauren's Knickers are the latest gadget to come out of SuperHeroes R US. They cost an arm and a leg and they do almost everything, they are inflatable, have wings, have built in air conditioning , self cleaning, solar powered, radar capabilities of up to 500 miles, purple (Suze ) breathable lycra with automatic fit mechanism for yoyo dieting, and if the self cleaning mechanism fails you can wash them on 40 and tumble dry The only thing they DONT do is housework!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
annie Report post Posted September 28, 2005 Suze, Even I'm getting confused with the Annie/Legs thing Badder's bath night ????!?!??!? Is it his birthday or something as long as it's not curry night Annie, oops I mean Legs XX Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Suze Report post Posted September 28, 2005 TA DA!.......................back with some revels , caramac bar , and family sized cadbury,s heroes , under my trusty cape super-hero dudes is a bumper pack buy six get 10 % off pinot grigo AND!!!!.... a pretty nice cloudy bay new zealand white....thought we should treat ourselves .....now Mel what are you doing in that bin bag on top of the table yelling out Meatloaf ? ....at that moment Judge appears and jumps up beside Mel, they start a rendition of ......." ever since I can remember you,ve been hangin round this joint....." yes you guessed it "Dead ringer for love".....Mel in her bin bag makes a fantastic Cher.....the Judge is a Dead ringer for meatloaf ... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mel Report post Posted September 28, 2005 sheesh suze, now i have the mental image of meatloaf in a shiny purple codpiece...thanks a bunch..i need a pinot now to get over the shock! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Flora Report post Posted September 28, 2005 Mel, it's not that bad an image! At least he's actually wearing clothes Although I can't imagine him getting a comb through all that hair I think he might night to borrow some straigteners and a nice bristley hair brush Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baddad Report post Posted September 28, 2005 After a full days Superheroing the Judge suddenly realises he has a pressing need for the bathroom. Rushing to the batloo (thankfully clean after CB's and CMJ's loving minisarations), he pulls aside the glittering Uber-under-crackers... ... ... AAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! As one, the Angels rush to the source of the pitiful moaning to find the judge curled in the foetal position on the lavvy floor, weeping copiously. As they enter, he looks up, ashen faced, and points pathetically to his lower portions. "It's...It's... GONE!!!!!" he sobs, before swooning unconscious to the floor. "What on earth is he on about?" Legs cries, moving forward to help him from the floor. "Erm, wot's this?" Suze interrupts, holding aloft the small, white pot she's taken from leg's handbag. "That's the Sudocream", legs explains, "We couldn't leave the poor beggar scratching all night now, could we?" "'Er, Sudocream?" Suze asks, turning the pot for them to read the label, "Then why does this say 'Vanishing Cream'???" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Flora Report post Posted September 28, 2005 is it ponds? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Suze Report post Posted September 28, 2005 ................ so so sorry .............god feel awful, Suze Reaches into her trusty BAT BUM BAG and finds her Ballswell ox cream it,s supposed to help with wrinkles (Claudia Sniffer uses it).... Legs and Suze administer copious amounts of cream to the swooning Judge..(poor poppit )....in no time at all a miracle , and Balls well that ends well Whoop de do! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baddad Report post Posted September 28, 2005 Phew...Thank heavens... Poor ol' JT hasn't had a scare like that since he went skinny dipping on the Isle of Wight at 3 o'clock in the morning in the summer of '87. That was COLD... Don't know which was more embarrassing, the effects of the cold, or the seven 'Save The Whale' campaigners who kept trying to drag him back into the water... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
littlenemo Report post Posted September 28, 2005 AAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I see the Judge needs a wider browser window these days too! or is it some Man Thing: "My post's bigger than yours"? <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baddad Report post Posted September 28, 2005 AAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I see the Judge needs a wider browser window these days too! or is it some Man Thing: "My post's bigger than yours"? <'> Are you saying I've got a big marf? Are you calling me a <removed by the PC brigade!>? Am i bovvered? Do I look bovvered? Do I look like the kind of person who'd take somebody elses catchphrases?* And am i bovvered? Your mother was a hamster, and your father stank of elderberries... 'Night, Cinders. Get back to those dishes Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
littlenemo Report post Posted September 29, 2005 No infence attended, I just wanted to give the hug smiley a Batcave alter ego Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
