baddad Report post Posted January 27, 2006 Hi all... I'm trying to get this poll up and running for you all... Bit of a learning curve, but this should do it... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pepper Report post Posted January 27, 2006 Hi all... I'm trying to get this poll up and running for you all... Bit of a learning curve, but this should do it... LOL learning curve here - just sussing how to post im new - but i know all about meltdowns its nice to have a name for what i classes as mega tantrums ( child is 13 so tantrums didnt sound right) xx pep Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
phasmid Report post Posted January 27, 2006 Welcome to the forum pep... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pepper Report post Posted January 27, 2006 Welcome to the forum pep... thanks for greet just testing toes here Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
invent 10 things b4 breakfast Report post Posted January 27, 2006 (edited) Thanks to Baddad for sorting this poll for me! Never done one before, first time for everything My original post was: Just a thought, as I'm sure my son's Head thinks there's nothing wrong with him and implies we have a home issue because he can generally behave at school. It doesn't matter how much you try and tell them about the effect the school day has on the child, it's always the same response, "oh he manages fine at school" I found some information on the NAS website which I adapted for my son and sent to his Head, it read... "The over-riding physical state for most people with Asperger?s Syndrome is anxiety. With X this anxiety is a result of him trying to constantly keep up with teachers' demands as well as other pupils? jokes and conversation. It can be difficult for people who have not come across Asperger?s Syndrome before, to appreciate the level of anxiety especially as many pupils have learnt to develop a superficial veneer of coping - appearing to 'fit in' socially in order to avoid being labelled odd and because many pupils with the diagnosis are keeping up with school work. However with X by the time he gets home he is feeling stressed, angry and worn out. These true feelings inevitably come out when he is at home and he can vent his frustrations in safety." They still didn't get it or chose to ignore it! Edited January 27, 2006 by invent 10 things b4 breakfast Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nikrix Report post Posted January 27, 2006 You can guess what I answered......................................Yes I think P is a perfect angel at school but at home the slightest thing will set her off. Nikrix Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
smallworld Report post Posted January 28, 2006 I voted 'yes' for my 10 yr old undx AS son ( the undx is another saga !) but really over the last couple of weeks he is starting to unravel at school as well We have had some mega meltdowns at home, I think down to being in bother at school (who incidentally can't see any problems,and his class teacher is the Senco !) Tonight he lifted a chair above his head and was going to hit his 12 yr old sister with it whilst she sat on the settee. Then he let himself out of the front door and hid. 2 hours later, he called me into his room to say 'sorry' Another issue here is that our 6 yr old ASD son is copying his elder brother's behaviour, and taking it to school, fortunately they are aware of my feelings on no.1 son and understand where this behaviour is coming from It's just a shame they didn't pick up on no.1 son spending most of yr 2 under the desk whilst in the same school Sorry for rambling, DOH (other half ) is asleep on settee to avoid my moaning wac Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pepper Report post Posted January 28, 2006 Sorry for rambling, DOH (other half ) is asleep on settee to avoid my moaning wac oh dear --------sorry for laughing like a drain trust me to flicker past all other comments and PING! focus on the 'asleep on sofa' *giggle* such a male tendancy ( im teasing - sudden recall teh amount of responsible male forum members ) im not so good at being sensible thank god for forum eh xx pep ( who will call back morrow / sober and sensible ) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
reuby2 Report post Posted January 28, 2006 I wonder whether it's the structure that helps at school. My son is as good as gold at school and they think he's just on the periphery?spelt right? But I have had to go in and explain that when he is running around at break, that it is a part of his routine (e.g running up and down the same without stopping, hopping in the same place etc) and that untill recently if his friend wanted to play he would reject them saying that he was "imagaining and didn't want to be interrupted!! Unfortunatly the day that the Autism Outreach came to monitor him was the first time in year 2 that he decided to play with anyone at break!!!!!!! Typical!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
darky Report post Posted January 28, 2006 great poll!! im finaly getting there with my son with getting the school to recognise his needs. at school he wont say boo to a goose and thats been the hardest thing. thing is, with mainstream school and inclusion, where you have maybe 4 or maybe more biostrous and unruly children in a class of 30 kids, the passive childrens needs get missed or even ignored. i mean whos going to listen to a child that dont ask for help or sits in the back of the class slowley slipping behind, when you have some kids in a class that are taking up all the teachers attention? this is my theory on things. its sooooooooooooooo wrong!! but at the end of the day it tells me that he who shouts loudest, gets the most attention. i might use the results of this poll when i go for my sons diagnosis appointment if you dont mind! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
smiley Report post Posted January 28, 2006 Erm.......tricky one Last year at school, little monkey was very 'within' himself. He would sit on the carpet at register, and then get 'stuck' - he would freeze and was unaware if anyone was near him, talking to him etc. He shut down... But, when not 'freezing' he would co-operate well. His teacher last year was fantastic - and realised he was not coping, even if he 'apeared' to. But, with a less that great teacher...... i think they would have thought they had the most compliant child in the school.. This year - he's stepped up a gear at school (or at least his anxiety is becoming muuccchhh more obvious to all). He is argumentative, abusive, both physically and verbally. The things i read in his home/school book amaze me. It's like they're talking about a different child. This behaviour at school - we don't see at home, at all. He is never verbally agressive, never hits out. He self-harms, rocks, flaps, gets very ridgid in his thinking, becomes obsesional, has OCD type rituals, etc at home. So, no, not passive at school this year. But, yes, meltdown (albeit, different meltdowns than school) at home. Confused yet??!! We are!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Flora Report post Posted January 28, 2006 I don't know how to make my yes big or loud enough!!! This is exactly the problem we have been dealing with for the past 18 months and exactly the reason why the LEA have refused to assess. Like I said to them, if he did at school what he does at home they would expell him. Lauren Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Suze Report post Posted January 28, 2006 ..........well we have meltdowns at school and at home, so across the board stress I guess. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bullet Report post Posted January 28, 2006 When I was 11 I was very quiet in school and hardly spoke unless spoken to. The teachers would comment on how shy I was and my dad (who was a teacher at the school) would tell them that I wasn't in the least way quiet at home. Let's just say I had one hell of a temper on me Well, one day I was being teased by this lad and I lost it. I grabbed the lad by the shoulders and shook him against the wall of the classroom. I was very short for my age and this lad was quite tall. At that moment the Head of Year came in. Now, whether it was because he felt there was something different about me or whether he was too astonished (my dad being a teacher made no difference) I don't know. But he started laughing and I was never told off for the act. My snapping though scared me a little bit and I went back to being really quiet in school after. At home though it was a different matter, the phrase Jekyll and Hyde springs to mind Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Glock Report post Posted January 29, 2006 Have just had a major bluey with my 13 year old son which has ended with him screaming at me that I should go and rot in hell as its the best place for me?!? my 4 year old then piped up 'I love you mum'. And the reason? he has not been at school for the last week and a half due to stress (self harming etc.) and is due to go back in the morning to mock SATS. He has had a severe ear infection which he says is so painful he should not go back but he has been plugged into his heavy metal music for the last few days without any difficulty. Apparently I don't care because I am not doing anything about it. Its so difficult - I know why he is behaving the way he is but sometimes it is so difficult to take the verbal onslaught at full pelt. I just want to give him a hug and talk it through but I know I can't do that - will have to give it a while and go in for round 2! My husband has just commented - why should we have to put up with this, is this all part of living with a child with AS - I said yes - mixed in with the teenage hormones (a true 'kev'). I just hang onto the lovely times over the last week that we have had together - because he has been so chilled he is brilliant company with a wacky personality and we get on really well. Sorry, getting back to the poll (got sidetracked) definately YES!!!!!!!! Once our 'treasure' is actually in school tomorrow he will be the model child then its home time! All the best to everyone who has got the monday morning school battle tomorrow! <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KarenM Report post Posted January 29, 2006 Wow what a interesting poll a big yes from me too. When I can get her to a school that is. Karen Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bullet Report post Posted January 29, 2006 I think the danger can be is if the child is being quiet and seemingly wellbehaved at school the teachers can think there is no problem. Whereas the child's silence can often be indicative that they are unhappy and struggling to keep things together. I tended to shut myself away from things and daydream so I wouldn't have to interact. When I was pressed to do so I felt awkward, nervous and totally at sea. Things got better when I started sixth form and made a couple of friends who understood I would struggle to talk about the latest fashions or music. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DaisyProudfoot Report post Posted January 30, 2006 Wow .... have you seen the poll results! Can I print that off for my son's head teacher One of my sons just looked at the poll and said: "that is so Martin." I think that says it all. Thanks for the poll Daisy Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
madmooch Report post Posted January 30, 2006 H is a angel at school, what i would call a Zombie or took over by Aliens and at home he's a villain and has major meltdowns though he is starting to take some of his behaviour into school, pulling hair, refusing to do things, it is still mainly kept for us Every time i tell his teacher what he has been doing i get " well he's no bother at school" Grrrrrrrrrrr. Clare Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
UltraMum Report post Posted January 31, 2006 J relaxes at home and lets it all hang out, he's also got the Ritalin out of his system so we get the hyperactivity as well... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
darky Report post Posted January 31, 2006 (edited) what are the ethics of being able to print this info off to take to school or my sons dx appointment??????? does anyone mind??????i was told the other day by a so alled asd specialist, that my son might not get a dx if the school does not agree! even though they have been obstructive a$$h*leS!!! Edited January 31, 2006 by darky Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ksasnic Report post Posted January 31, 2006 Also noticed that when inside somewhere unusual he is ok ish but get him outside conformity and blast off all hell breaks loose.. a freedom - don't know how to handle it... so drs, school passive, home, outside thar he blows !!! like his ADD clinic appointment seeing the dr and he treated it like school so he was in the Nick at school mode but when we left then Nick the maniac mode kicked in as he ran round me constantly I kept nearly tripping over him, raced to cross the road not looking at the car coming towards who very nearly had to take action to avoid him whilst being a monkey making all the sounds and motions etc... why couldn't he have performed all this in with the dr- who then I feel would have looked at me with a little more understanding !!! Passive anywhere it seems offiscious and then freak out when there is suddenly freedom with no one saying do this, do that etc... sorry not wording this right as have just come through another of his daily meltdowns... and I am knacked !! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rainbow queen Report post Posted February 1, 2006 my son is the very same will this go agaisnt his dx of as do they have to have evidence of these meltdowns in the school setting? he is on action plus-but hes just not showing the emotional stress at school which he shows me as soon as he walks through the school doors Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nellie Report post Posted February 1, 2006 There was a similar poll done some time ago, it think it's been deleted now. It's nice to see another one on the go. This topic discusses these problems, it also gives evidence from professionals which could be shown to the school. http://www.asd-forum.org.uk/forum/index.ph...owtopic=192&hl= Nellie xx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nellie Report post Posted February 1, 2006 Darky, If you wanted to use a members posts you would need to seek their permission. I don't you mind you using any of my posts. Nellie xx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
darky Report post Posted February 1, 2006 thanks nellie. i was thinking just stats alone wouldnt be enough. i cant believe how common this problem is and yet schools,lea's, and even specialists are reluctant to act on parents opinions!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest flutter Report post Posted February 2, 2006 and some Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Malika Report post Posted February 7, 2006 Hi to all Yes more pressure more meltdown and always at home that is why the school do not recognised H DX... With the idea to move he got very anxious did not want to move then when we manage to convince it would be nice we had to tell him we are not moving anymore and he got anxious again what a mess!!! Thanks for putting this poll. Malika. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DaisyProudfoot Report post Posted February 8, 2006 I told the head teacher that Martin's DLA had come through and thanks for her input And you know what she said, not congratulations or that will help a lot but: OH REEAALLLLY! (reading between the lines this actually means: "well I never! You mean he really does have Aspergers then and all that stuff I've received from CAMHS and his paedetrician isn't just a fabrication then!" headteachers - don't you just love them! I wonder if she did write the school's part of the report or if it just went straight to SEN teacher! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest hallyscomet Report post Posted February 9, 2006 Not at all surprised by the results of the poll so far no wonder we are all here looking for calm what can I say Hailey Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PinkSapphireAngel Report post Posted March 7, 2006 WOW the result of this poll makes me feel sooooooo much better. My son is 11 and has had to be put on risperidone for his anxiety and self harm because of school, I have sent in so much info to school explaining how common it is for aspergers suffers to not feel able to express their distress in school and to have meltdowns after coming home but all I ever get is "But we don't see it in school" grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mother in Need Report post Posted March 7, 2006 My son is 11 and has had to be put on risperidone for his anxiety and self harm because of school, I have sent in so much info to school explaining how common it is for aspergers suffers to not feel able to express their distress in school and to have meltdowns after coming home but all I ever get is "But we don't see it in school" grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Keep pushing it PinkSapphireAngel, my son is 12 as well and school has never believed me, but their attitude has been turned around by the fact that the LEA is giving him a statement (I had to go around the school's back for this, they were sooo helpful - not) . Somehow they are suddenly believing what I have told them all these years. You will get there, I did and if I can, anyone can. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
invent 10 things b4 breakfast Report post Posted March 8, 2006 "But we don't see it in school" Pink - that's all we ever get. However I have just had a clause inserted into his Statement about him being allowed time out (of his choice - not punishment) if he feels the stress is getting too much. The fun part will be getting them t ohelp him recognise when that point is. We just had a review and the SENCO said that he doesn't present with stress at school so we don't want to pull him out of a lesson he's fully engaged in! Ok no, I'll just deal with it at home shall I Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tilly Report post Posted March 10, 2006 In my case dd has more anxiety at school and is very passive and cooperative at home. I suppose home is her comfort zone. Tilly Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mother in Need Report post Posted March 10, 2006 Lucky you! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
