stressedmumto2

My mum does this even now, rocks her head from side to side or bangs it up and down, she even used to do this when we were children and would say it would help her get to sleep. She willalso bang her leg up and down!! I would mention it to CAMHS and see what they say <'>

<'> <'> Hello Susan, welcome to the forum and i'm sorry to hear of your loss, Phas was a great support to myself and will be greatly missed. I will be thinking of Phas family on Monday, take care <'> ><

Flora, it's over and done with now so I hope you can rest a bit over the next couple of weeks till you get the results and I hope you get the result you want, wishing you loads of luck <'>

I know certain colours can play havoc with children with sensory difficulties as can patterns, when I took my red patterned wallpapaer of my loung walls the chnage in my son was immediate and for the first time he had started to settle and was not forever climbing and jumping over the sofa's all the time.........beware of patterns and reds!!!! In his room he has blue and white, some walls white and the others a midnight blue which sparkles (b and q) it is quite calming and he has his name tag on the wall and he has a uv light in there which gives the walls a nice glow!!! have fun with the decorating <'>

Fantastic news well done to him and fab news for you <'>

Flora wanted to say good luck before but didn't get round to it <'> How did it go? I hope the panel were fair towards you and allowed you to speak your opinion and that you get the result you want. You'll probably be shattered now with a thousand should I of said this, I wish I said that running through your brain, just remember you would of done really well just going through with it, it's quite a daunting experience. Have a rest tonight and a glass of wine, you've done well <'> <'>

I would be worried and just turn up and have a look, after all it's the school the LA are suggesting your son goes to so you would want to make sure it could meet his needs if it came to that or have a very good argument as to why it can't. <'> I have looked at many special schools and if the school anticipated a probelm with any child in a class I have found the head or whoever has shown me around has explained the siuation and asked me if I still wanted to have a look or if I wanted to avoid, I think if the school can explain to you why they may not want you to go into a paticular class then you can understand, but to not suggest a time to view the school when children are there would make me suspicious I have also been into schools where a child has already been agitated and found it comforting to see the way the schools have managed it, which has then given me faith that they are good at managing children. All I can say is good luck, have you found a school yourself or are you just going to name the type of provision you want? <'>

My son used to talk to anyone and everyone but very rarely does now whereas my NT daughter well, she's as confident as confident can be, will talk to anyone where ever she is, if she gets to know somebody only after meeting them once or twice she can be very affectionate with them and she is always hugging her teachers, I do have to try and steer her away alot. Pippin's chart sounds like an excellant way of showing what's appropiate and what's not. Another good thing to teach is the good old hand shake, looks a bit strange when a young child does it but hey, it's better than hugging a person he/she rarely know's <'>

RQ, thanks for that link <'> ,now it's just a case of remembering what to do at the time when the crisis is going on!!!!!! The hospital bit is a very good point, I did consider this myself last week when my son was soout of control. We've called the police out on occasion and so have school and it does calm him down but there's no fear or worry there and the police do feel there time is being wasted. The going into another room is a very good point and has worked in this house, But I feel when we are out I simply can not walk away from him because there is then increased risks. When my son is angry he vents his aggresion towards me as i'm usually the one putting the restrictions on him, does your son also do this? How are you feeling today? I hope you are feeling a bit better and managed to get a good nights sleep <'>

<'> RQ I go through this with my son alot, still now and he's 9. My heart goes out to you because I know how draining it can be dealing with this and then the worry of getting reported to the police or social services. I really don't know what to suggest but I'll just tell you some of the things we do to try and make the transition a bit easier for my son. We always do a countdown of when it's time to leave, whether it's the skate park, friends house, theme parks, play centre etc etc. I wonder if seeing something visual may help your son or an alarm on a watch?? I don't know how old your child is but what about doing a visual board showing picture of friends house, picture of them playing with time, picture of drink,snack maybe then picture of time again showing when it's timeto leave and a picture of door, you going back into car and then back home. I wonder if something like this may help or even a transitional object liike a magazine in the car/gameboy/favourite toy etc. Everytime your son leaves the places in the correct way reward him with something small so that he gets the message that he gest something good when he leaves places in a sensible way. These things I have been advised to do by our out-reach worker, sometimes they work but sometimes they don't. Last week with sessional worker in the car his behaviour was appauling and neither of us knew what to do, again because of the transition of taking his sister to dancing, we had an audience whilst he decided my car was a punch bag and trampoline, arghhhhh because I stuck to my guns and said he couldn't go to the skate park as he was being naughty in the car, it would of been easier to give in and less damage to my car!!!!!! Make sure you keep a diary of what happened before, during and after the incident, you can use ABC sheets and they may pin point exactly why your son got so upset with leaving, it could of been transition, that he didn't want it to end, the change of what was happening next or a combination of all of these things. Make sure you get planty of rest now, it sounds like you will need it as it is so draining when these meltdowns happen. Tomorrow oe even tongiht try and talk to him about what happened and why he got so upset, I have found now my son can talk to me and tell me what has upset him and this has really helped us because now I know how to approach things better. <'>

Sounds like you have had a fab time away and really re-charged your batteries, i'm glad J enjoyed himself aswell <'>

I'm very sorry to hear this sad news. Bambi has summed up Phasmid perfectly <'> My thoughts are with all the Phasmids at this very sad time. <'> <'>

I think you do need to complain about this, not going to be easy but your son has told you about it even if he says he doesn't want you to say anything, good luck <'>

If it's mint flavour you are trying to avoid we have found sensodyn original (it's in white and pink tube) has hardly no minty flavour. My boyfriend says he didn't like it but I think it's cos he said it didn't feel like his teeth had been brushed after but my son likes it. my children have also taken to colgate big teeth mouth rinse which smells of bubblegum flavour, I haven't tried it but thy seem to like it. Good luck, we are going to try and find a specialist dentist as my son has problems going which makes me avoid them even more, if your son has sensory issues which could be contributing it could be worth getting him to desensatise the mouth area before brushing by massaging around the mouth area and using an electric toothbrush is a good idea. <'>

Fantastic news Hev, so pleased for you and for Steven, small steps all the way <'>

<'> Cariad you need to challenge this, write a leter or send an e-mail explain you feel better at the moment but you are far from coping, that your son having this amount of support enables you to have time with your dughters/unwind etc and that is what is helping you to manage and that taking it away will mean you start to go back again. I'm no expert but I think for them to reduce it they would need to have evidence that you are coping so much better, yes you are decorating his room but you are probably doping that because it's making you feldown and you know it will make you happier once done. It's funny my sessions were reduced recently too, but I am going to challenge it because what my social worker had written on the care plan was that they were going to think about placing my son elsewhere if I couldn't cope, which ultimatly with that threat over my head they are hoping I will not complain and ask for more respite. You need to either tell your social worker and plead with her not to reduce them or write to the head of social services dept that you are under. I hope you get this sorted I can't believe what they are like sometimes

Just wanted to say I am also thinking of you. <'> You have been so strong through all of this mess that I hope it gets sorted quickly, sending you hugs <'> , sounds like you need them, well done on the home education and cracking the time tables with your son <'>

Hi J's mum as you know from previous threads my son has also school refsued on many occasions and in different school settings. We were lucky as we had help from an out-reach worker who observed my son going into school (should I say my attempt at getting him to school) and then drew up a plan and also advised the school. It seems to me that J can't cope with the stimulating enviroment and if he is saying he feels trapped then it would be a good idea if there were a safe space he could retreat to when he is feeling stressed/overwhelmed and needs some time out. In order to do this the school would probably need to find a room (could be old cupboard, if big enough) that could be turned into a calming/nurturing/sensory room that J could use if feeling overwhelmed there would need to be a visual way in which he could let the tecahers know he needs to leave the room i.e. a card saying I need to leave or something similar. My son started back at school on part time table with visual board at home showing which days he would be going in and for morning or afternoon, initally it was morning then moved onto staying at lunch if he wanted to and if he had earnt it, there were social stories and visual boards. When he first went in he was allowed to just do motivating activities the reason behind this was so that he could view school as being fun, that was at that time the way he needed to view school, which goes against what school is all about!! He would have arty activities set up for him i.e. clay, scissors/paper etc and would do art activities set up around the lesson, he was also given the chance to go into the classroom for short bursts and when he felt comfortable. The out-reach worker said that he needed to know that school was motivating. He also needed to know why he had to go to school and what he would be doing once there. Set times for how long he would be in school for and an activity to do after school, which was visually displayed on a now and then board, showing school then activity. We did succesfully get him back into school but it was short lived.

Welcome stressedout and thanks Krystaltps. I think I am going to need to get it documented so it stand more weight and has to be done. Thanks for your advice <'>

Hi just wondered if anyone can help. We've seen the sensory specialiast and she has recommended that we have a sensory diet in place at school which will involve two lots of 45 minute activity daily, etc etc. Can anyone help as I go back to tribunal shortly should I ask that this be put into his statement? The usual OT has told me today that son is making great progress (from work she has seen)and they are probably going to cease involvement as everytime they go in to work with him he refuses and now we have sensory specialist in place, i'm a little concerend that he wont get his 15 min programmes daily as he's out the clas most the time. Should the sensory diet be in the statement?

Oh how sad, my friend is a childminder and she would never dream of sending someone a txt to say she couldn't have their child and as for people saying they've wanted more money I would be inclined to ask her why she felt she couldn't care for your daughter, it may make her think alot more about her skills (lack off!!), rather than your child's difficulties and how she could manage them. When my son was in playschool he was difficult but the playschool got another worker in to give him 1-1 for some sessions. If it is a local authority nursery you are looking at I prety sure they have to go down the same routes as schools and provide for the child and make reasonable adjustments, get extra support in whatever. I wish you luck in getting something sorted Take care <'>

That sounds very much like my T. How old is your son? I have found what helps us is praising everytime he does say something nice or does something good, at times I have even said "thankyou for saying thankyou T" and then sometimes and a little "it makes me feel happy that you are using good manners", it all depends on his mood though!! at the mo' I am trying to set up a I make the demand you do it then you get what you want, for too long it has been the other way around!!! So for this he has a first and then board-first you get dressed then you play pc, the visuals works better than keep nagging. T expects everything to be done immediatly aswell but he's slowly learning sometimes he has to wait, so I will explain I will do it but after I have done such and such, i.e. put washing in machine then I will make your toast and if I need to give him the timer if it's going to be say more than 10 mins I do that so he knows how long I will be, I have found this method works better than just ignoring him, which I used to do. My SaLT also suggested using a board with 5 cards saying "do it now" or similar, he could call me to do it now 5 times in a day but as soon as he used the cards it would have to go in the envelope, she suggested this may help him to learn that he can do somethings by himself and that I wouldn't go to hi immediatly but we haven't used this idea. Often if he is insisting on food immediatly and I am busy I always give him the choice of getting it himself, this may not be appropiate if your son is still young though. I know this probably isn't alot of help but there is alo a site called sandbox learning company which I find really good, have a look and see what you think <'>

Flora my son is in a SEBD school and it is not working for him. The approaches used for behavioural and ASD should be different as the behaviour for ASD mostly comes from within the child which means it can be really difficult to help if you are just using behavioural approaches. You would also need to take into account just how much your son may imitates others behaviours-is he a copier of what other children do? This is a huge concern as my son imitates bad behaviour and desperatly wants to fit in, which by doing as they do means he does!! I think what you need to do is have a look at the school, see what stratergies, i.e. time-tables, countdowns, visual boards for points earnt, time-out cards etc they use, ask them how thy would intervine if your son done such and such i.e left the classroom because he wasn't coping and how they would help him to over-come this, what stratergies do they have in place. How do they develope social skills, ask about speech and language therapy and group work the SaLT may do. See if they have safe spaces for the children to retreat too if they are over-stimulated? ask staff ratios to children also how many children are in the class, ask if children in the class are ASD, ask if staff have qualifications in relation to ASD. Never judge a book by the cover and think all SEBD schools are the same, I have seen some very good ones and some pretty bad ones. I have always been told that SEBD is the wrong enviroment for children with ASD by the professionals who have dealt with my son for the reasons I have stated the imitating behaviour and the approaches used to treat the children, when I get time I will try to have a look through some of my reports as i'm sure that the professionals actually stated the reasons why? I think also if you have a look on the National Autistic Society website they have something on there about it. SEBD schools can be unpredictable and scary enviroments I have been told time and time again and I have to say I agree especially in relation to the school my son is at, but like i've said best thing is to look at the school, turn up unannounced if you like and go back a few times. Have a look at the schools OFSTED reports and see how well the children are doing educationally and emotionally, ask about home-school communication. Take care and best of luck <'>

Happy Birthday Have a great day today David

I'm not reading anything at the mo' but like real life stories, which are actually most of the time really depressing, set that side and I mostly read up on stuff to do with my son. Last night I sat down and read 15 pages about physical intervention and I didn't get to finish it. Think I need a soppy love story, is there anyone who can suggest anything? <'>