Introductions!!

[Kathrynh]

Hi. My name is Kathryn but there is already a kathryn on here so I added an h. I live in the East Midlands. I have a 5 yo son with autism. He has no functional speech but is slowly improving in his understanding of what is said to him. I find it hard to be sure of when he really does not understand something and when he chooses to not understand. He scratches, bites, pulls hair and head butts but he never seems to do these things with malice - he just likes doing them! He will go up to strangers and pinch their bottoms because he likes the feel of it. I am an old mum having my son when I was 40. Never wanted kids when I was younger but now even with his problems I think he is the best thing that ever happened to me. He certainly makes me a better person. Amongst other things I have learnt patience which I was never very good at before. The downside is that I do not have the energy that I had when I was in my 20s and I worry about how I will cope when my son is bigger and stronger than me. He has just started at a unit for autistic children attached to a mainstream primary school. I feel very lucky that he has got this place because I am sure it is the best thing for him and I know how a lot of people struggle to find the right place for their child. I am crossing my fingers that he will settle and be happy - I think he will. This is my first time using any sort of forum chat site. I have really found it interesting reading what other people have written and seeing how other people have the same worries and issues that I do.

[Flora]

Hi Kathrynh,

 

Welcome to the forum.

 

I hope your son settles into his placement well. You will find loads of help and support here.

 

Glad you found the forum

 

Flora

[Platefull of Love]

Hiya All,

Well I have been reading here for a little while, but only actually joined today, so its time to tell you abit about me & my situation.

I am Tracey, mum to 3 lads.We live in the north west of the Uk in Lancs. My Eldest ( S ) has ADHD, reg. partially sighted, hearing impaired & badly Dyslexic,He isn't on any medication for his ADHD as he had a couple of bad do's which may well have been related ( major requiring hospitalisation ) he is 15. My middle lad ( D ) is AS, poss. ADHD, was labled as epileptic as had a couple of fits, but he refused to take his medication & has been lucky for the last couiple of years.He also has a heart problem that seems ok, but we need to keep a eye on, he is 13.Then I have my Youngest (B ), he is pretty normal, a little behind with his writing, but is trying hard, he also winds D up something chronic, take them both shopping & they react pretty Hyper.B is 9.

I am a single Mum, I have pretty severe ME/CFS, In try my best, I take them camping, but haven't manged to take all off them together this year yet ( took eldest 2 twice then youngest for a couple of times to), I try to take them out & do things with them, I love them dearly, but life can get pretty tough at times, in the house I rely on crutches, but outside I mostly need to use my mobility scooter, that said i start college next monday for 1 afternon a week, I am a crazy crafter ( although don't actually get round to douing that much recently ).I am also dyslexic, so you may just have to get used to my spellings.D is really struggleing with school at the mo, all my lads are main stream, ( eldest is statemented )but am not sure if its to much for D.It was his 1st day back at school after the hols, he had hardly been back since end of May, ( in this time I did try to home school as much as I could, but it was hard work, i am not really well enough to do this full time ) but had tried again close to end of term, He ended up a little late so i rang in, a hour later school rang & saifd he had to come home due to medical reasons, he couldn't even manage to get into 1 lesson . He had his ADHD computer asesment today, but that was a waste of time as they got it all wrong so he needas to re-do it all, I am annoyed as he tried & couldn't manage it 1'st time round, so threw a wobbler & ended up trying so hard again. He is seeing the Educational phycologist next wednesday, qwe are trying to get him statemented/his needs met, at the mo, we see different to the school, I am in constant touch with camhs.He qwent away for a residential during the schoolm hols, he didn't even manage 1 night, they couldn't cope with him & had to bring him home, yet I cope ( or at least try to ) totally alone.

I have probably gone on enough now & am rambleing. I have read & intended to register properly fopr a while, sometimes getting round to stuff takes a while, but have realised so many here have to go through the things we also have to go through.

As you can see my Plate is pretty full, but its the Love that keeps us going. Hence my choice of name.

[Bagpuss]

Welcome Kathrynh & Platefull of Love <'>

 

I have 3 kiddies.....our youngest dd has ASD and MD, and our eldest dd has AS.

 

Hope you find the forum as supportive and worthwhile as I have

 

Take care

[Karen A]

Hi Kahtrynh and Plate full of love.Pleased you have joined us.It sounds as though you both have a lot to manage.I hope you find the info from others who are in similar situations helpful.Regards Karen

[Kathryn]

Welcome, Platefull of Love and Kathrynh (I'm not a Kathryn in real life so I'm sorry for stealing your name. )

 

Glad you've joined us, hope you soon feel at home.

 

K x

[nellie]

A warm welcome to all new members.

 

Nellie xx

[Miss Foo Fighter]

I'm Leigh, married to Charlie. We have 2 children, Sam 5, and Lucy nearly 7. Lucy has a formal diagnosis of Aspergers.

 

Lucy is an exceptionally bright girl with many ever changing obsessions and funny behaviours. She can be extremely difficult at some times, and at others you would barley know that she has Aspergers.

 

We appreciate that Lucy's difficulties are not as stark as many other children with ASD's and for this we are extremely grateful. However, this does present us with one of our biggest problems, we have some friends and relatives who seem convinced that is all a load of nonsense and that Lucy is just 'a bit odd' sometimes. The fact that she has been diagnosed by two specialists seems to pass these people by.

 

Lucy has learnt to cope with, or mask, certain behaviours e.g. she is very, very, slowly learning the concept of what you should do when people are hurt. She is also getting better at communicating within her peer group, although mostly on her terms, and does have some friends. We talk to her a lot about why she finds it difficult to talk to people (she tells us she doesn't know what to say) and strategies for making friends or joining in. She has come on leaps and bounds to be honest.

 

The other thing we do is try to break routines or obsessions at the first whiff of them becoming all consuming. The last major one was countries. She couldn't concentrate on anything else so we took her maps down and put her books away for a while. We did wonder if we were being cruel, but Lucy's consultant was interested when we told her how and when we did this and it works for us sometimes. I appreciate that it may not for everyone though!

 

I'd be really interested in speaking to other parents with a child like Lucy. We feel quite isolated at the moment. School have admitted that they can't meet her educational needs, but say she won't get statemented.

 

If you have got this far, then thank you for reading!

 

L

[Bagpuss]

Hi Leigh

 

Big welcome to the forum

[Miss Foo Fighter]

Hi Leigh

 

Big welcome to the forum

 

Thanks Bagpuss

[nellie]

A warm welcome Leigh Love the name....... Miss Foo Fighter.

 

Nellie xx

[mum22boys]

Hi Leigh and welcome <'> <'>

 

I read your whole post! and i'm sure you'll find lots of help and support here.

 

We are all in the same boat

 

mum22boys

[Karen A]

Hi Leigh.We have Ben.He is 8 and has Developmental Coordination Disorder and social communication difficulties.[Psychiatrist doesn't think enough to give asperger Dx-but SLT does not disagree when I talk about asperger syndrome and he gets support from the ASD outreach team]If you have not gone to sleep -he is very similar to Lucy from what I read.He is extremely bright and strong in some areas.However he does get obsessive interests and can be a challenge to parent.A word of encouragement-we got a statement during the summer not without a lot of work-but it is not impossible.Pleased you have found us .karen

[marshmallow]

Hi Leigh. welcome to the forum <'>

[dooday24]

HI LEIGH <'> <'>

[UltraMum]

Hi Leigh and welcome

[DaisyProudfoot]

Hi Leigh

 

Martin (aged 10) has AS he varies from the very obvious to the hardly know he had it - but having said that he is on higher rate DLA because he can be a danger to himself and those around him and nights can be a real trial. It is the general problem with AS kids because they don't look any different to other children, they're often able to cope academically in a mainstream school but emotionally and socially they fall by the wayside as you're probably already well aware. It's often more difficult for girls too as many of the "Lipstick Aspies" on this site will tell you because girls are naturally programmed to cope better in social situations.

 

You will find this forum both very imformative and very good fun. Any problems don't feel afraid to tell us, we don't judge you because we know that feeling all too well from society around us. There are also a number of people with AS on the forum too and they will give you a lot of insight into the minds of Aspies.

 

Read the Help and Advice section as often as you can - often someone's else's problem turns out to be your problem and you may be able to give some advice yourself.

 

We're all in it together - Welcome

[Miss Foo Fighter]

Hey thanks guys. i've only just come back on. Didn't realise I had replies. I'll post on the main board now. Its very interesting what some of you have said.

[hareleoli]

Hi, I'm jennie and have three children. Harry 6 1/2 who we've just been told is on the autistic spectrum and probably has Aspergers (we are awaiting more tests for a comfimtion of diagnosis), Eleanor 5 and Oliver3 1/2 who has hearing difficulties. I work in a secondary school as a TA working with SEN kids. I feel relieved to know what we are dealing with now as I've had concerns for a few years now. Harry attends a mainsteam primary school and is doing well academically but socially he has problems. When i try talking to his teacher or the SENCO I feel they think I'm a neurotic mum and if they nod and agree with me I'll go away. I'm beginning to feel that they are not listening to what I'm telling them about Harry.

 

I 'm glad this site was recommended to me by someone on another forum because I now have people to talk to who are going through a similar thing.

[brooke]

hi hareleoli

welcome to the forum i have three boys and my eldest Oliver 6 has an asd. i joined the forum this year and its helped me so much just being able to chat to people who understand. i also think people think im being neurotic but we know our own children and can tell when something isnt right. I think it starts to show more when they get to about 4-5 so hopefully you will get the help you need.

Brooke

[UltraMum]

Hi Jennie and welcome

 

Friends, company and advice here as well as virtual hugs <'>

[lil_me]

Hi Jennie welcome to the forum, I know I mentioned this forum to someone via PM on another forum with the same name, maybe it is you. Hope you find the support here as valuable as I have.

 

Welcome to everyone else who has recently joined aswell <'>

Edited September 23, 2006 by lil_me

[della]

Hallo I'm new here. My son is 16 and has always been different to other kids. I've been reading here and some of the things ring a bell and others not. He definitely has a problem being with groups of his peers although he does push himself to make friends. He is in mainstream education. every time he moves on to the next school I am called in by his teachers, who say he is unhappy and shut in on himself. I try and explain that he isn't unhappy, but he IS different. I live in rural France where psychological services aren't great and I have resisted advice from teachers for him to see a psychologist. I saw one once when I was in the middle of a messy divorce and it did me more harm than good.

I wonder if anyone has a child like mine. He learns ok if he likes the subject. He gets 90% in science and 2% in Spanish. In the past his behaviour at home was difficult - he would lose control and smash things. We've worked through this, but I still feel he might one day lose control again.

He isn't obssessive as far as I know. Out of all my children I find it hard to imagine him leaving home, although he is managing to board weekly at college. He is most attached to our dog, his youngest sister and me. I think he feels less threatened by us. He is also very curious about lots of things and has quite a lot of interests.

 

I find it quite difficult to pinpoint his differences, but he IS different. If I think about why I've come here, it's because I would like to know people who have similar experiences.

[Karen A]

Hi Della pleased you found the forum.You will find lots of helpful advice here.Lots of us have children that are a bit different.I have Ben who has DCD and asperger traits.He also does very well in subjects that fit with his view of the world.Karen

[eldars angel]

Hi everyone, my name is Rachel and my friends son was diagnosed last week. I have joined the forum in hopes that I can learn as much as I can about aspergers and offer support.

[Bagpuss]

Hi Rachel and Della,

 

Big welcome to the forum....I've found it so very helpful and supportive, take care

Edited October 4, 2006 by Bagpuss

[citrine]

hiya, i have just joined and thought i better say hello

 

my eldest hasnt been diagnosed with anything yet, but the doc has referred him as he think he has some form of asd. this kind of shocked me because although my son is different to other children i always thought it was a type of ocd.. and i thought that he didnt have anything like autism until i read about asperger and the whole thing totally fits like a glove...

 

we live in lancs, i have 2 children a daughter aged 7 and my son who is 8.. my son has always been a little different to other children, he has this thing for time and clock watching.. things have to be done on time else he gets very very angry or upset.. the waterworks are very easy where he is concerned.. he also panicks if things seem to clash even if its not a problem for us, he needs total reasurrance that its fine...

 

he also obsesses which has turned into a little joke in our house at the moment it is dr who and also anything to do with space, he drives us mad with it,telling us everything and anything on the subjects.. and i hate to admit it but i tnd to switch of alot and look like i am interested as my own concentration isnt to good as i have m.e :S

 

there is many other little things which at the moment am listing for the assesments,but it seems to go on for ever lol..

 

i,ve had a good look around the site and its lovely and very informative, and i look forward to meeting everyone.

 

citrine xxx

[Kathryn]

Hi citrine, and welcome

 

Doctor Who is a constant presence in our house too.

 

Have a good browse around the forum, and any questions, just ask.

 

Kathryn.

[annie]

Hello and a big welcome to all our new members

 

Annie

xx

[Karen A]

Hi Citrine.We have Ben age 8.He has some Asperger traits.I read lots of very familiar things in your post-also including Dr who.I am sure you will find lots of others here to relate to.It is a very informative and supportive place.Karen

[butterfingersbimbo]

Hi All,

I have got a ten year old daughter with ASD and ADHD! and two dogs, one a jack russel and a senile, half deaf mongrel she is an only child as I thought that I was the worst mother in the world and so really shouldnt have any more children.

my daughter was given a "possible asperger's" dx when she was about to start school, but it was never confirmed officially until she was eight years old and about to be kicked out of school for being violent, disruptive and spending the majority of her school day crawling around on the floor barking like a dog....(you might have already guessed that dogs are her big obsession). she was also then diagnosed as being adhd and dyspraxic and after a month of thinking about stimulant meds I decided it had to be worth a try and she has been on them mostly since then! to be honest i think myself and her teachers would have had nervous breakdowns without them

After a long battle, my daughter now has a statement and gets twenty five hours support in the local mainstream primary school. I am looking at senior schools for her, and am thinking that she will be unable to cope in either of the two local senior mainstream schools.

 

so thats about it really! thanks for reading!

[nellie]

A warm welcome to the forum butterfingersbimbo,

 

I hope you find it useful.

 

Nellie xx

[Karen A]

Hi Butterfingersbimbo.Welcome.You will find many others here wondering about secondary schools and many more who have been there.Karen

[TheNeil]

Hi butterfingersbimbo (great name by the way)

[butterfingersbimbo]

thanks for the welcome guys! wish i had known about this place years ago!

[phoebe]

Hello all

What a welcome relief to find some people who speak my language!

I thought I was going mad and that perhaps all my sons attributes are down to my parenting rather than his aspergers - as the school would have me believe.

Anyway, here I am a mother of two with a failing marriage that I am not strong enough to get out of yet, an 8 year old with Aspergers and a 4 year old NT who just has to put up with it all.

Starting the statutory assessment process and hoping and fighting and hoping and fighting and hoping.

Glad to be on board and sure I will be a regular visitor!

Phoebe

[Kathryn]

Hi Phoebe,

 

Welcome to the forum, glad you've found us.

 

You're definitely not alone - this is a good place to come for answers, or just to let off steam.

 

For Statutory Assessment help, take a look at the advice in the Education section, and there are always people around to answer any questions you have.

 

Look forward to getting to know you,

 

Kathryn

[Devon mum]

Hi there everyone!

I am glad to find this forum, I'll tell you all a bit of my story.

I have been married to my husband for 18 years, we've been together for nearly 21 years - we got together in our teens!

We have three children; the first is Martyn age 15 diagnosed ADHD and dyslexic at age 9 and a half he was on medication for 18 months.

Then we have Keiran 11 diagnosed ASD at age 5 and a half. We were referred to see CAMHS by the local health visitor after a visit put in place by the play school Keiran was attending.

Martyn was only diagnosed because we were referred to CAMHS for help with Keiran.

The youngest is our beautiful daughter Rebecca, now 8, whose hair seems to grow more than she does, everyone who meets her comments on how long it is.

We have known she has difficulties since she was three, she has a very complicated story involving Speech Therapist, Pre School Advisory Team, Peadiatrician, Ed Psych(kind of), CAMHS, and now Child Psych.

It is now felt that she is somewhere on the Autistic Spectrum and that is what brings us here!

School have not really been pushing for her to get a Dx, they just see her as being difficult for the most part.

How do we best help her, what is there out there that I may be able to use as a guide?

I know how to help the boys but she is proving much, much more complicated.

Oh yes, my husband was diagnosed with OCD when I was expecting Keiran and spent the next two years being treated for depression after having a breakdown.

My only complaint is that I just don't seem to be able to sleep properly, I just wake up in the night and will be awake for up to two hours. I'm real tired!

[Bagpuss]

Hi to All,

 

 

sorry so late posting this.....

 

 

Anyway, big welcome to Citrine, Phoebe, Butterfingersbimbo and Devon mum

[Nic m]

Hello everyone, my name is Nicola and i joined this site about a week ago.I live in Glasgow with my Daughter Hayley who is nearly 10. Hayley was diagnosed in September as being on the spectrum and has asperger syndrome.Hayley also has chronic constipation an allergy to sodium benzoate,and we are awaiting an appt to see a podiatrist re flat feet and hyper mobility.My nephew who is 15 is autistic and there are many allergies and bowel problems within our extended family.I am currently not working, i gave up work last year to care for Hayley as her mental health deteriorated badly but thankfully the changes we have made seem to have helped a lot.I knew for a very long time that Hayley had asperger syndrome but nobody seemed to listen, but the events of last year gave me the kick up the backside i needed to ensure she gets the help she needs.I eventually sought a private diagnosis as she would still be on the waiting list in Glasgow. This has been recognised and i am amazed at the difference it has made (except with the school).I am now at the point where i want to reclaim a bit of my life but scared of Hayley's health suffering as a result.Hayley is a very bright wee girl who is beautiful and this is a double edged sword when getting her needs recognised.I have spent many hours reading the posts on this site since i found it and i think it is wonderful.I wish i had known about it during the very difficult times we have had but i think it is going to become invaluable to me and Hayley now.I let Hayley see the site tonight and she liked the smilies and pictures so i will ask her for help in doing that for me.I'm not very good with technical things but she is a wizz.I would still be reading instructions and she has set whatever new gizmo up that we have bought.

Thank-you to all the wonderful people who created and contribute to this site, i think i am going to become a regular.

Nicola x