What schooling for ASD?

[MumTee]

My little one hasnt started school yet and so far its pretty difficult to decide which way to go. The local mainstream has made me feel a little unwelcome at the outset, but I also have some mainstream schools with SEN Units and dedicated special school within a reasonable(ish!) driving distance. I dont think I've got enough energy for home schooling!

What option have you taken and is it working out ok? I'd like to get a general feel of your experience.

Thanks in advance

[smiley]

Hi MumTee,

 

My son is 6, diagnosed with Aspergers. He's in mainstream school and i'm afraid it's a contunious battle to get the help he needs.

 

I'd love for him to go to a mainstream school with ASD unit, or a ASD special school, but the choices are limited in my area - and it's a huge fight to get him in, if at all.

 

Mainstream schools can work - last year my son was well looked after. This year, same school, but new head and hopeless teacher

[helenl53]

My son is in a mainstream independent after an absolutely disasterous year in a maintained maisntream. There are no ASD units in our LEA - more's the pity.

[Viper]

After trying mainstreem for 4 weeks the stress they caused the whole family was too much to bear so I opted to home educate and so far it's working out fine.It would be nice to have time to myself but the good outweighed the bad in the end.

 

Viper.

[Zemanski]

no ASD units here either, although an autism unit is opening in Com's high school after xmas - only takes from Y7 but hopefully he'll be able to access it a bit when it's up and running

 

I ticked other because Com had his best ever year in Y7 then a completely disastrous year in Y8. We've negotiated lots of new provision and so far it's going pretty well - Com is so much happier and easier to be with - but I'm reserving judgement at the moment

[mossgrove]

Our sons 8 (aspergers) and 5 (ASD) are now in an autism-specific special school environment and doing well. Our experiences of mainstream were not happy ones.

 

Sorry to sound a negative note, but I don't think that mainstream is appropriate for most autistic children.While staff in mainstream can make a sincere effort, they just don't 'get it' in the way that parents or specialist teachers do.

 

From speaking to other parents in similar situations, it is round about year 3 that the differences from their peers become so noticeable that it becomes hard to continue with mainstream. If we had our time again with our eldest we would have pushed for a Special School much earlier.

 

Simon

Edited October 22, 2005 by mossgrove

[Tylers-mum]

I weren't sure which one to choose as T is happy but I an't with the school!! He is in mainstream.

 

Eddited to add after reading Simon's post, my son is in Year 2.

Edited October 22, 2005 by Tylers-mum

[annie]

In the past, we've tried mainstream and mainstream with ASD unit, both were a disaster.

 

My son (16) is now doing Education Other Than At School which is funded by the LEA and is working very well.

[CarerQuie]

My son is at a special school and doing very well.They want us to consider putting him in mainstream but we've said NO.xx

[KarenT]

J is in Y2 in mainstream. So far he 'copes' but he gets no help, and I strongly suspect that while he's having a particularly good period school staff think he's fixed. I'm not very confident about his future if I'm honest - I anticipate problems in the coming years but can't predict exactly what. I just feel pretty sure the school won't understand. Let's just say the SENCO spelt it 'Aspberger's' on the IEP referral notes ...

 

Karen

x

[bid]

I agree with what Simon says.

 

Ten years of struggling in mainstream school (medicated to help him 'cope' ) led to my son having a breakdown

 

He started at a residential special school for AS almost a year ago, and his life has been transformed No more meds, no more self-harm...

 

He has a place at a residential special FE college for next September. Just the funding to get now

 

We tried to get him into the first ever residential special school for AS when he was 8, but we failed. How much heartache , misery and stress we would have all been spared if he had been able to go

 

Bid

[forbsay]

Hello

 

My son is 5 and he started at a special school in August - had a bit of a bumpy ride but he is getting there.

 

I think I made the right decision for him to go there as oppose to fighting for mainstream as he wouldn't be able to cope.

 

Elaine

[annie]

I agree with Bid and Simon on this.

 

Our experience of the mainstream education is teachers tried to fix the Asperger's, not support it.

[sharron]

my son is in a special school and l am very satisfied with the school he is doing really well there.

[littlenemo]

I think what happened to Com was just that - he did so well in Y7 that they thought they'd 'fixed' the AS and I was just being an over-anxious mum

 

other SEN kids aren't the same - either they have obvious physical problems but not necessarily any other difficulties (obvious how you support those children) or they are behind in development and learning so you need to be working ay a lower level but in more or less the same sort of way. I know that's making sweeping generalisations but it's more or less the way it works.

 

teaching autistic children and AS in particular means you are presented with a child whose mind and senses work differently.

to teach them successfully requires a completely different mind set and this isn't all that obvious so where some may come on board and try to develop understanding and appropriate strategies others may resist.

 

the reason we are sticking with the school at the moment is that we think we have managed to trigger the change in mindset needed - senior management joined the training, implemented the changes we asked for and now listen when we try to explain things to them, the senco is still a wet rag but is compliant and in the last 6 weeks I have actually had staff approach me to ask about the suitability of lessons, etc.

 

The main thing we have managed to get the school to accept is that Com's anxiety is the root of all th problems he has had and that they need to step back and look carefully at causes rather than react to incidents and create further anxiety.

 

Last week the senco took me to one side and said she couldn't believe the difference in him this half term and that having breaks for relaxation and 1-1 time was really helping.

 

the issue of anxiety has been confirmed in Com's latest EP report as the central issue - no other issues are mentioned, in fact the EP deliberately included cognitive scores to show there were no other learning difficulties and states that his social communication problems are the cause of his anxiety.

 

'it is vital that there is an understanding of the difficulties Com has in managing day-to-day social situations so that he is able to complete a task without his innate anxieties limiting his learning opportunities.'

 

it's a cracking report, spot on with strategies too, and if we can get them to think this way for Com there is hope that they will do the same for the others (there are at least 10 AS kids in Com's school) and with the unit coming on line in Jan bringing specialists into the school and ASD resources Com can access

 

so for now we are waiting with bated breath to see if we can make things work for Com; so far the signs are good - no waking up crying, no battles to get him out of the house, no tantrums after school, no suicide threats, and we're hearing laughter, he's learning to be interested in things outside his special interests again, and he's enjoying playing with his little sister instead of bullying her mercilessly.

 

However, to get all this we had over 4 months bitter battle and intense negotiation - and it is still not easy

 

I think mainstream provision can be good for some of our children but it's b****y hard to find and doesn't suit all.

 

Zemanski

[littlenemo]

He He He my dad forgot to log out...

AND I DON'T LIKE BEING CALLED COM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[smiley]

Wow - reading through these comments - i'm beginning to panic about M's future school life now.

 

The only special school near to us is mainly for physically disabled children or children with huge learning difficulties. Where does that leave M? , who has a massive IQ, but is unable to do most everyday things for himself....

[NikkiSmith]

It's interesting reading all the posts - my 3yr old ASD son is currently at playgroup and has his own 1-2-1 helper and the SENCO told me (unofficially) the other day that it is highly likely he will get a place in the nursery at our local special school.

 

I didn't think he was bad enough, except on the really awful days, which if I am honest are quite often! But I had got it into my head that he would survive in mainstream with a language unit attached - yes I have been kidding myself on this one for the past couple of months, as everyone else can see that he would never cope.

 

Enough ramblings,

Nikki.

[jlp]

G is in Y1 and is struggling after an okish reception yr. I'm not convinced school 'get it' and wonder about a special school. However it's likely G is 'not bad enough' and also he is really very bright so I wonder. I think he needs a special school for his social skills and to be taught by staff who understand him but still needs a challenging curriclum - would this be possible in a special school?! I don't know (have no experience of special schools).

 

We've been told unless his violence (not too bad but he shouts at people) increases he's likely to be in mainstream throughout his education.

[jlp]

And hi Nikki and Karen!

[Jadensmum]

Jaden will be starting a mainstream independant nursery in January. I have voted satisfied as I am really impressed with the headmistress so far!! She is very interested in Jaden and the facilities are much better than any other nursery I looked at.

 

But my opinion may change once he starts!!!

 

Denisex

[mossgrove]

Nikki/JLP

 

A phrase you both used grabbed my attention, which is that your children weren't 'bad enough' for special school.

 

That is precisely the thought that entered my head when my parner first suggested that we push for a special school place for J (7).

 

I would not use that phrase now, so I thought I'd explain why. I am not saying this is your thought process, but it might be!

 

When I first became involved in the world of Autism it was, like many people here,

because we had a child with a diagnosis. I had the same reaction as many other arents in that I desperately wanted his Autism to be an issue for his development only and that he would 'turn out alright'. I think this is partly because I had many of the same issues as a child, but the adverse effects of them have diminished over time.

 

I came to realise that my objection to J going to special school was more to do with my reluctance to take on board the full implications of his autism than it was to do with a level-headed asessment of where he should be educated.

 

Over time I became more attuned to how unhappy he was becoming in mainstream, and this was amplified by the fact that our H (5 years old, also ASD) had a disatrous start in mainstream. I have an image in may head that will stay with me forever of looking at them both on the couch, shorty before school. Both were staring into space, too terrified to speak or react.

 

I came to realise that having an environement where they were comfortable and understood was a pre-requisite, far more so that what happens to them in future or academic achievement. Once that baseline is in place we can plan for the future.

 

They have been at special school for half a term. Before and after school is no longer traumatic. The boys no longer wake in the night in a panic, they are enjoying life again. J went to a party yesterday. He doesn't get many invites but for the last 18 months he turned tham all down, as he didn't have the self-confidence to go, even though he desperately wanted to.

 

Your experiences will very. Your children are different, but please look at what is best for your child, and where they will be happiest rather than any notion of good or bad. There will be plenty of people who will tell you your child is too good, or too clever, or has the wrong diagnosis for special school, we heard it enough times.

 

The bottom line is that getting our boys into special school is the single best thing we have ever done for them. I wish we had done it earlier.

 

 

Simon

Edited October 24, 2005 by mossgrove

[lynyona]

I voted special school most satisfied even though kieran doesnt go to school anymore as he is 19now.

 

I decide to get kieran in a special school because there is no way that he would have cope in mainstream secondary education.He came on leaps and bounds educationally and i think he would have also done so developement wise if we d known when he was at school that he was asd.He did sit a gsce at school and only got an f but to him it was the world. At one point when he wasnt happy at school for no particularreason didnt go for three weeks and i htought that he d never go back i did consider home educating but he just went back and he did like school if he could have stayed on at school he would still be there now as he really misses school not many kids can say that but he really does ,i dont know if it was the routine of going or the pupils and staff, because kieran school and kieran home where like talking about two different people like someone said they know whats expected of them at school but at home there are no set routines or guidlines as such. lynn

[NikkiSmith]

Thank you Simon - I think I really needed to read that! It has put a few things in my head straight and I am slowly beginning to realise that he is "bad enough" and yes, I know the vacant stare very well as he's doing it more often, in between all the other off the wall stuff!

 

Thanks again,

Nikki.

[Suze]

Thankyou Simon , that has made so much sense to me. <'>

[bid]

Hi Suze, jlp and Nikki

 

Just to add to what Simon has said...

 

Your LEA will probably only tell you about their own special schools, which are usually for MLD or SLD...so obviously your child is 'too bright'.

 

BUT...there are quite a few independent special schools for AS and ASD, which cater for children who don't have MLD/SLD. My son is 'gifted' (horrible phrase), and he goes to an independent special school for AS.

 

The reason your LEAs don't tell you about these schools is because they cost more than their own special schools...but this is no reason why your child shouldn't have a place funded by your LEA, if such a school is the best place for them.

 

Have a look at the Gabbittas website...they list all independent special schools, and LEA special schools, too.

 

I wish my son had gone to a special school for AS 10 years ago

 

Bid

[baddad]

Hi all -

Simon, I think you've hit the nail on the head; the important thing is to have a school that meets the child's needs best, rather than making choices based on preconceptions that arise from labels like 'special needs'.

I think that many parents (self included) have opted for mainstream at primary level for all the right reasons, and because it is appropriate, but the scary part is how we move forward from that into secondary, when the environment and challenges (both academic and - probably more importantly - social) increase exponentially while support levels actually diminish.

Twixt devil and the deep blue sea...

I know that mainstream primary has been the right choice for Ben, despite some of the problems that have arisen. The benefits have (for him) outweighed those disadvantages... Now, though, I'm absolutely crapping myself, because there's not one local secondary school (save possibly the grammer (higher 'geek' ratio!), if he passes his 11 plus) I believe capable of taking him forward from here. So, that means trying to find a special placement where there aren't any, Home Ed, or fighting tooth and claw to get his needs met in a (possibly) inappropriate mainstream placement...

 

Ben's in year 4 now. I reckon the end of this year will be the latest point to 'assess' his probable needs at secondary. I hope that's not too late to find him a school that fits the bill, if such a thing exists locally. There is ONE school that might be up to it, but of course it's miles away and will mean daily taxis and funding for same to get him there if they have a vacancy at all...

You never know, there could be some amazingly intelligent changes in educational policy/provision before then, and i'm wasting a good worry. Somehow, though, I think our kids wil be getting the dirty end of the stick whichever way things go - 'cos it's a fact that our ASD' pegs don't fit either the 'special square' or 'mainstream round' holes...

L&P

BD

[Clarkie]

I have just read this topic and am in a real quandry.

HELP

posted in education

Edited March 18, 2006 by Clarkie

[mossgrove]

Clarkie

 

There are a lot of issues there but it's getting late so I won't be able to reply properly tonight.

 

In the meantime you may wish to cut and paste your question into a new thread to make sure everyone sees it, as some people may not notice it at the end of a long thread.

 

Simon

[jlp]

G is in Y1 and is struggling after an okish reception yr. I'm not convinced school 'get it' and wonder about a special school. However it's likely G is 'not bad enough' and also he is really very bright so I wonder. I think he needs a special school for his social skills and to be taught by staff who understand him but still needs a challenging curriclum - would this be possible in a special school?! I don't know (have no experience of special schools).

 

We've been told unless his violence (not too bad but he shouts at people) increases he's likely to be in mainstream throughout his education.

 

I've just found this old reply of mine and had to add to it. What a difference a year made!

 

Within two months of that post he'd been suspended from school and we withdrew him in Dec 2005.

 

He's just had a year at a new mainstream school and while they have been fantastically supportive and he gets a lot of 1-2-1 and specialist strategies, unfortunately the violence is still increasing and this school have just applied for a statement and special schools / units are being discussed. He's took changing schools so hard I'm dreading changing him again if need be.

[jlp]

Nikki/JLP

 

A phrase you both used grabbed my attention, which is that your children weren't 'bad enough' for special school.

 

That is precisely the thought that entered my head when my parner first suggested that we push for a special school place for J (7).

 

I would not use that phrase now, so I thought I'd explain why. I am not saying this is your thought process, but it might be!

 

When I first became involved in the world of Autism it was, like many people here,

because we had a child with a diagnosis. I had the same reaction as many other arents in that I desperately wanted his Autism to be an issue for his development only and that he would 'turn out alright'. I think this is partly because I had many of the same issues as a child, but the adverse effects of them have diminished over time.

 

I came to realise that my objection to J going to special school was more to do with my reluctance to take on board the full implications of his autism than it was to do with a level-headed asessment of where he should be educated.

 

Over time I became more attuned to how unhappy he was becoming in mainstream, and this was amplified by the fact that our H (5 years old, also ASD) had a disatrous start in mainstream. I have an image in may head that will stay with me forever of looking at them both on the couch, shorty before school. Both were staring into space, too terrified to speak or react.

 

I came to realise that having an environement where they were comfortable and understood was a pre-requisite, far more so that what happens to them in future or academic achievement. Once that baseline is in place we can plan for the future.

 

They have been at special school for half a term. Before and after school is no longer traumatic. The boys no longer wake in the night in a panic, they are enjoying life again. J went to a party yesterday. He doesn't get many invites but for the last 18 months he turned tham all down, as he didn't have the self-confidence to go, even though he desperately wanted to.

 

Your experiences will very. Your children are different, but please look at what is best for your child, and where they will be happiest rather than any notion of good or bad. There will be plenty of people who will tell you your child is too good, or too clever, or has the wrong diagnosis for special school, we heard it enough times.

 

The bottom line is that getting our boys into special school is the single best thing we have ever done for them. I wish we had done it earlier.

Simon

 

I didn't see this reply a year ago and I wish I had as it does sum up our feelings and concerns. Maybe it was a long process that we've had to come through by ourselves? We're off to see some local special schools in the new year.

[PW66]

For me, its A special School. The decision was made very easy after an atrocious time in mainstream nursery (perfect setting for a child with autism ) - thinking back to that time still makes me shudder!

Now, almost 4 years down the line, and I'm happy I made the right decision for my son and me.

 

P

 

Merry Christmas & Best wished for 2007

[oxgirl]

My lad started out in mainstream primary with one-to-one support full-time, but he struggled terribly. The school were good and they did try their best. We tried going part-time for a year but things didn't improve so we removed him and home educated for two years, which went really well (when he left school at 9 he couldn't even sit and write a sentance)! He progressed really well at home and gained a lot of confidence.

 

By secondary age we wanted him to have a chance to experience all of the opportunities that they could offer (especially science labs and expertise), so we got a place for him in an ASD unit attached to a mainstream secondary school. He's part-time and just goes to a handful of mainstream lessons. On paper it sounds ideal, but I absolutely detest it and really regret sending him there, there is so much that is wrong about it. He's 13 now and we are struggling with trying to decide what's best, do we leave him where he is (where he is top of the school in science, but doesn't have a single friend) or take him out to home educate again! We thought, when we started at this place, that our worries would be over, but this last year has been the most stressful and miserable of our lives.

 

Good luck with your decision. <'>

 

~ Mel ~

[pepper]

i voted mostly happy / mainstream, tho reading most replies I end up feeling a fish out of water! ( or should that read - maybe son is? lol) son 14, mainstream grammer - happy as a pig in poke, quite sure hes lots of freinds.........and tbh I think they all got used to him by now and ill admit he is part of the gang, maybe a tad whacky / sorta geeky/ but accepted (tho wasnt always the case)

 

help? frankly none, except his big bad mamma when school give zero tolerance, id have to say - he's coping admirably considering he gets absolutely no extra help and ISP is virtually ignored half the time. But so far so good, on path to pretty decent exam results as long as the cow cack doesnt hit the fan ( eternal optomist me)

 

I often consider the grim path thru formal education as a learning curve so far son is hanging on grimly with fortitude!! I so hope after all this 'square peg in round hole tat' he can fins his own career path and have a great time in adulthood.....(more eternal optomism!)

 

TBH i have to admit that our school choice was the best of a bad bunch - only school local with ASD unit is dodgy academically and Ive been there ( as a pupil escort) and asked a pupil way to unit ...the reply i got in return put me off completely! Intregation? nononono struck me as a big obvious sign to mainstream pupils to 'pick on any SEN kids'

 

from my own personal viewpoint, my lad may be a 'little unusual' to most but hes one of the lads in the school he's in. Its by no means perfect but we seem to be tiptoing thru (without killing teh senco!) It is xmas after all

[BuntyB]

I've voted 'mainstream, mostly satisfied'. If you'd have asked me earlier in the year, it was a totally different experience. The mainstream school my children were going to, and Lucy was due to go to in September, was not right for them at all. Catriona was crying most mornings at the thought of going to school and although some of the staff bent over backwards to help, many of the staff were oblivious to her needs and made matters worse. The school was far too big and she was constantly overwhemed.

 

Although it's early days, I'd have liked a 'delighted' button for the mainstream school I have moved the girls to. It's an independant Christian school which is much smaller. The staff and the children are all very caring and the girls are doing brilliantly. No more tears on a morning, although a little sadness from Catriona that she can't go during the Christmas hols!

 

I don't think you can generalise, as parents you instinctively know what's right for your kids. As the girls are high functioning, I wanted them to be able to have the right facilities and to be stretched to do their best for their GCSEs so we didn't consider special schools, however, what they needed was some understanding and caring teachers and pupils, which is exactly what they've got.

[bid]

Just to let people know, not all special schools cater just for children with MLD or SLD.

 

There are quite a few independent special schools for AS/HFA that do cater for the more academiaclly able children. My son went to a school like this and got excellent GCSE results, and he's now at a special FE college for AS, doing his A levels through link provision with specialist support at the local mainstream FE college.

 

Bid

Edited December 28, 2006 by bid

[MelowMeldrew]

After so much upset and sheer frustrations at mainstream via ignorant LEA's and such, the best guide is the child and your gut instinct. My child struggled and struggled and shut down in mainstream and the LEA fought me for 6 years until I ground them down and got a special school placing, the difference is there to see. Parents will instinctly KNOW the best place for their child. Sadly some see half-baked 'inclusion' policies as the answer, but it's rarely backed up with adequate support or understanding, and the head-teachers in England and Wales openely stated they haven't the expertise and doubt if mainstreaming many disabled children is valid or worthwhile, even with the best of help and support some of our children will never prosper in mainstream, autism being as it is with many confusing faces, means we can fool ourselves that if it appears almost the norm it is. I'm often surprised that despite our own in-depth awareness of our child's issue, we can undermine ourself by feeling guilty they aren't the same as 'every other child', and think if we put our children with these 'normals' then somehow it may rub off on our children. I accepted at day one that this wouldn't work, and mainstream had no chance of sucess, my child's reactons bore this out, and HOW !

[carrieq]

I would realy like ds to be educated in mainstream but the school he is in at the mo has no understanding, they have there opinion of an autistic child, he doesn't fit the bill so he is simply controlling and bad.

A comment said to him before the holidays, in my opinion speaks volumes, he was told that if he didn't behave he wouldn't be allowed to go to the pantomime the next day. How can a child with AS and ADHD conform to that request????

 

My plan for 2007 is for him to be placed in a mainstream school with a communication base that he can access, just got to convince Education it is in his best interests!!!

 

Carrie

[MelowMeldrew]

I wish you luck the odds are very much against mainstream being able to accommodate, think how best the child may gain, forget any view or conceptions you may have if he's there and has support he will advance, he may still not, you will know in your heart if this is really going to work, once I knew for sure, there was no question that even IF mainstream had supplied appropriate support it wasn't the best place for him. There was no contest really,because the support never appeared, or he'd still be stuck in mainstream running around in circles and not speaking. If that is what they call inclusion they know what they can do with it.... keep your eyes on this 'access' and be guided by your child, don't hesitate to pull up the head if you feel it's not right or not working. I had to pull my child out of school twice to get where I am now. I took on language therapists, Head teachers, social workers and the LEA for 6 years, I know what's best for my child, it was damned hard work, and we still, have to monitor our LEA closer than the FBI ! Read the small print ALWAYS you get, they will always look for an easy opt out to save cash, they aren't interested in our children as people, or as individuals. Autistics ARE, soon as they get this message the sooner we all progress. E.G. Black people will still be black whatever they do that white people do, ditto our children, will still be autistic whatever school they go to. The mistake, is hoping 'normality' will rub off on them... what's normal anyway ?

Edited December 28, 2006 by MelowMeldrew

[Bagpuss]

I voted SEN unit within a mainstream primary....our youngest dd attends an assessment class, with approx 10 other children, all of whom have SEN, at a primary school in a local town. She is doing well and is in Year 1. Unfortunately the assessment classes run from nursery (when she started) to the end of year 2........so what happens then is abit of a worry. We have her annual review in a few weeks, and DH and I want to try and clarify what may happen...and also find out where we will stand regarding her statement in the future. She has no hours on it, and a lady from PP told us that all children with 10 hours or less in a statement will have them withdrawn next year. We would definately consider a special school for her, although our EP told us that special school would not be suitable for our dd because her IQ was too high (mind you, that was when she was at nursery age)......the thought of her attending our local primary scares the living daylights out of me. Our eldest dd is AS, and attends our local primary and is thriving, but really feel our youngest would be totally overwhelmed by it.