ASD children more good looking?

[Lynden]

Hopefully I'll be able to word this without making too many sweeping generalisations or offending anyone ;-)

 

I'm sure I read somewhere, that ASD kids are often very striking looking but I can't remember where, so I'm just wondering if its true on the whole.

 

I know in our case, Logan is a very striking looking boy, he has the most stunning blue eyes (doesnt look like me at all) and its commented on all the time (I know all parents think their kids are gorgeous btw ) and I know that the one other autistic child I know locally is really handsome, and LizKs son Adam is a very stunning looking little man too (I'm sure she wont mind me saying that!)

 

So is it just one of those huge sweeping generalisations or is there something in it? If I could remember where I read it might help!

 

Lynne x

[oracle]

This is going to sound really silly but when Matthew was a baby complete strangers would stop me in the street and comment on how beautiful he was, his eyes in particular. Now you would think that I would have been thrilled but for some reason it always sent a shiver down my spine Probably because he was a truly beautiful baby and for some reason it worried me One of our freinds, who was studing for a photography degree, actually won a national competition with a photograph he had taken of Matthew's eyes. He is still a looker well in my eyes, but there was something quite specific about his looks when he was a very young child.

 

Having said that my other son David - who is also a looker to his Mum - did not share the same look when he was a young child. So maybe it has nothing at all to do with ASD? Although they do tend to sterotype children with ASD as being blonde haired and beautiful, which of course is just as annoying as people thinking that everyone with ASD is like Rainman.

 

Carole

[littlenemo]

there was an article in a magazine a couple of years ago that my MIL sent me about this so it may be a general thing - Com was beautiful, now in his teens he's a bit spotty but I can see he's going to turn out pretty well.

 

but then he has stunning parents, doesn' he

 

I have a theory that it may be to do with the lax muscles and the way they express emotion in their faces - ASC kids seem to have very soft features in general and their eyes are honest, no sneakiness to undermine the beauty.

 

Zemanski

[lindy-lou]

Well......both my daughter and my nephew are totally gorgeous!!!can we post pics of our kids on here?

[mum22boys]

I've heard this too and i've got to say M is gorgeous. But then I suppose I would say so wouldn't I . And yes he has lovely gorgeous blue eyes with lovely long eye lashes.

[Kathryn]

L was a beautiful baby with thick hair and huge dark eyes which made her very photogenic.

 

I always thought it was because she took after me.

[LittleRae]

Yes I agree. In fact, D's assessment began: 'D presents as a strikingly handsome boy..' - didn't think it was particularly relevant at the time, though..

 

Carole, the same used to happen to us when D was a baby - it was quite nerve wracking when total strangers would make a beeline for his pram when we were out - living in London at the time and thought it was quite freaky.

 

He has the most beautiful dark brown eyes, long lashes any girl would kill for and until he was 3 years old curly blonde hair which was almost white. The combination was lethal - but we were never short of teenage babysitters His hair has darkened now (his dad made me lose the shoulder length ringlets when he was 3 and it was never the same again )

 

Have to say though, he's still quite a babe - although he'd hate for me to say it!

 

A

[supersec]

My boys are both beautiful - my baby (Jamie aged 1) is on the books of baby model agency! My eldest has the biggest blue eyes and the longest thickest black eyelashes and when he smiles he is absolutely gorgeous!

 

I am a very lucky mummy!

 

Supersec

[elainem]

everyone comments on my ds's looks. amazing huge blue eyes and a big mop of floppy white blonde hair. just the other day an old lady stopped him when with my mum she he'd been kissed by the angels

 

Elaine

[laine]

SPOT ON. My son is also very handsome with blue eyes, long lashes, and very cute dimples. I must say that we are all very lucky parents .

 

Laine

[anxiousmom]

Well I might as well add that my boy too has lovely blue eyes and long thick eyelashes. He gets comments from everyone and has now taken to growling at folk who mention this, clenching his fists and saying 'I KNOW'.

 

Apparently he looks like robbie williams too... really can't see it myself.

 

And his parents.... we are both completely unremarkable!

 

life's a trade off isn't it? He has lovely eyes to draw in those ladies..... then he'll open his mouth and tell them the combination of yu'gi'oh cards needed to take on a dark magicion girls and a ........

[Lynden]

life's a trade off isn't it? He has lovely eyes to draw in those ladies..... then he'll open his mouth and tell them the combination of yu'gi'oh cards needed to take on a dark magicion girls and a ........

Oh That did make me laugh!

[Lynden]

Thanks everyone. Neither of my kids really look like me thankfully - my Dad once made the very lovely comment 'how on earth did two such ugly ###### have such beautiful kids My NT daughter Leona is a very pretty little thing but Logan just seems to have something extra which catches everyones eyes.

 

Actually Zemanski the muscle tone and softness might have something to do with it - and you've definitely got it with the honest eyes.

 

edited to remove the link to my pics (but thanks to everyone who complimented! )

 

Lynne x

Edited December 7, 2005 by LLaverty

[Hectorshouse]

Llaverty ... what a lovely family you have.

 

HHxx

[oracle]

Matthew also has the BIG blue eyes with extra thick long lashes. His hair was very blonde but is now much darker. His eyes continue to draw comments from complete strangers which is wonderful when you have a child who hates people looking at him

 

David also 'had' blue eyes. I have the pics to prove this, but when David was 4 years old his eye colour began to change, David now has beautiful big green eyes. Not many people believe me that his eye colour changed this late but it did.

 

My eldest non ASD son has Brown eyes so I guess I managed to have most of the spectrum for eye colours in one household

 

Carole

[littlenemo]

Does anyone else remember 'The Midwich Cuckoos' by John Wyndham?

 

For those who don't, it's about a group of beautiful, intelligent, asocial children (probably aliens)

planning to take over the world...

[Tylers-mum]

OMGoodness Lynne. He IS such a cute and handsome little fella isn't he. Your dd is soo pretty too.

 

I'm thinking maybe we can post pics of our kids here. Wuill start a new post asking now b/c would love to post some of Tyler.

 

Incidently, my son had white/blonde hair as a baby/toddler but now it's blonde. He has strikingly piercing blue eyes too and they are big. Everyone comments on how handsome he is. Well, maybe the dad really is the milkman b/c he doesn't take after me or his bio dad. (not that he's a 'dad' anyway! ).

[Lucas]

Well I'm ###### fantastic if I say so myself! Well, not really.

 

I do have a small jaw though, which is quite common among Autists, this makes the cheekbones look higher. I proberley have the only turqoise eyes in the world and the modicum of girl attention I've ever had has been drawn to my eyes(which are wide with people, but narrow and focused with objects). Otherwise, I keep my head shaved partly because of irritation and because my head looks huge if I let it grow.

 

I basically look like the Panda.

[Guest flutter]

my dd is a stunner

i am still amazed i produced such a loverly thing

C xxx

[Lucas]

On another note, my hair colour had extreme changes as a child; it would literally go full-on blonde in summer and revert back to brown in Autumn. People thought it was freaky that I was literally changing colour with the seasons, but I never dyed it.

 

I've never spent a whole summer outdoors since leaving school, so I hope to get the chance to see if this still happens in 2006.

[oracle]

I've seen your pic Lucas and your are certainly a looker But then turqoise is my favourite colour and never changes. Lucky you to have beautiful eyes this colour

 

Carole

[darky]

my little girl has eyes you can almost see through. they are like aquamarine colour, absolutly beautiful with lovely golden blonde hair(asd/adhd). my youngest son has got lovely big brown eyes and sandy hair hes a looker(asd). and my eldest has bright blue eyes like little pools(nt). how blessed am i!!

[sue1957]

David also 'had' blue eyes. I have the pics to prove this, but when David was 4 years old his eye colour began to change, David now has beautiful big green eyes. Not many people believe me that his eye colour changed this late but it did.

I believe it. My Dad's eyes were very brown, then in later life he gave up smoking a pipe, and went on a special diet due to ill health. The outer parts of his iris went blue.

 

My elder brother had hazel eyes. After a crisis he left for Spain, gave up alcohol, ate properly, destressed big time and when I saw him 6 months later, his eyes were also mainly blue, with only the odd slightly hazel area. I was fascinated. Not long after he started back on alcohol and the health kick stopped, they are now hazel again.

 

I did an iridology course years ago. My brown eyes are apparently blue underneath. If only I can ever get a health kick to last long enough, who knows

[oracle]

Sue to be honest I have wondered if David's eye condition Keratakonis had something to do with this? Also you have really made me wonder with your comments. When David was 3 and began Nursery he all but had a nervours breakdown - in fact I think he did have a breakdown. I have never seen a child is such a distressed state in all of my life. It was round about this time that his eye colour began to change. By the time he was 4 years old his eyes were green They are a beautiful colour green with hazel mixed in.

 

Certainly makes you wonder?

 

Carole

[madmooch]

My babe is certainly georgous, in my eyes anyway when he was a baby everyone used to say "he's too pretty to be a boy" and he still has a way with women now he has the dinner ladies cooing over him and giving him extra big dinners

He has brown eyes and mousy hair and the common asd haircut, shaved

[Paula]

My son is gorgous grey eyes and blonde haire with long curly eyelashes.

 

 

But yu know what i think makes him beautifull its the fact that he is a beautifull person.theres no meanness,no judgeing no cinicism in him at all.He sees the good in everthing takes pleasure in the most mundane things like a bird singing or the fact theres frost on the ground.

 

The goodness shines outta him he glows with an angelic quality that most children and adults have lost.

 

thats what makes these kids and all i think disabled menatally or physically kids beautifeull it comes from the soul.

[sue1957]

When David was 3 and began Nursery he all but had a nervours breakdown - in fact I think he did have a breakdown. I have never seen a child is such a distressed state in all of my life. It was round about this time that his eye colour began to change. By the time he was 4 years old his eyes were green    They are a beautiful colour green with hazel mixed in.

Carole, the eyes can give big clues.

 

My son had permanently enlarged pupils. Its not always so obvious though, sometimes its how the pupils react to light. The pupil may contract normally in strong light but not be able to hold the contraction for very long. I read in an article on the adrenal glands that these are stress signs.

 

My son's eyes were a dull slate grey, he is now clearing to a slightly bluer colour, but the biggie is that his pupils are now not permanently enlarged. Its his stress levels, and his adrenal glands we are working with at the moment, with good results.

 

It could be that stress stops the body detoxifying properly (as fight or flight takes priority) and so eye colour sometimes changes. My eyes were photographed a year ago, and again recently. They are definately changing as I am changing my own lifestyle to reduce stress. I reckon it will be a long time before I'm a blue eyed blonde though Perhaps I might eventually make it to blue eyed with a blue rinse!

[littlenemo]

Com's eyes were a startling blue, and yes, he's blonde too, but they change to grey under stress and haven't been so blue in a while

 

Zemanski

[sue1957]

Sue to be honest I have wondered if David's eye condition Keratakonis had something to do with this?

Carole,

 

I've read somewhere that it can be related to eyestrain, which is another form of stress. Also have you been given any advice about avoiding certain chemicals that irritate the eyes? Just one of many irritants often found in shampoos and other toiletries is Propylparaben. (Synonyms 4-Hydroxybenzoic acid, propyl ester; Benzoic acid, 4-hydroxy-, propyl ester; Benzoic acid, p-hydroxy-, propyl ester; Propyl 4-hydroxybenzoate; Propyl parahydroxybenzoate; Propyl p-hydroxybenzoate; Propyl paraben)

 

On the chemical database potential hazards advice:

 

Skin, Eye and Respiratory Irritations:

 

... AS SATURATED AQUEOUS SOLN HAS BEEN NOTED TO BE MODERATELY IRRITATING TO THE EYE.

[Grant, W.M. Toxicology of the Eye. 3rd ed. Springfield, IL: Charles C. Thomas Publisher, 1986., p. 695]**PEER REVIEWED**

 

There are many other possibles.

 

Sue

[Suze]

I,m sure I read a book think it was by Lorna Wing, in this it mentioned Kanner had noted that autistic children had an ethereal quality and were particularly beautiful, with delicate elf like features..................will try and look this book out so I can post a link.But I,ve definitely read somewhere that a noted expert had commemted on this in the past.My son has very white blonde hair and bright blue eyes, and people comment on how hansome he is, ..................

[loulou]

Hi,

 

I definately agree with this one!

 

Kai is so handsome. He has such beautiful brown eyes, when he was born it was like these two little minstrels looking up at me .

 

He has lovely dark brown curly hair, with little red tinges and caramel skin (his daddy is Jamaican).

 

He won a beautiful baby competition when he was 2 and i always see little old ladies smiling lovingly at him (until he shouts out a swear word or something! ).

 

Loulou x

[LizK]

Awwww, thanks Lynnie I think Adam is a handsome little chap too but then again I'm biased. I know it sounds awful but more than one person has said to me that he'll get on better in life because he's a good looking little boy. Maybe it's nature's way of balancing things up a little.

 

Interesting reading the replies as Adam has a small jaw and especially as a baby and toddler more elfin type features. He's much more fine featured than Daniel and skinnier too, am sure I've read somewhere too about ASD kids more likely to be on the skinny side.

 

Beautiful photos of your two which they get from BOTH their mum and their dad! . Haven't they grown up! Logan does have the most amazing eyes though

 

Liz x

[Klou]

We too have a very handsome boy. His hair has darkened abit now but he was blonde and curly as a baby. Mummy cut the curls off when he started nursery! He also has huge , amazing blue eyes with long thick lashes. We also had people peering in the pram to admire him and I did wonder why no other babies seemed to get this much attention. Everyone still says how beautiful his eyes are. It is always the first thing they notice.

[Jadensmum]

I agree too!!!

 

Jaden has always had lots of attention from complete strangers in the street and the supermarket.

 

He is half Jamaican with dark brown curly hair (little old ladies in the supermarket actually come up to him to touch his hair ) the biggest brown eyes and really long eyelashes and the most gorgeous smile!!

 

He also won last years "Baby of the year" competition in the local rag and came second this year (of course he was robbed ) but it was interesting to know that another boy who won the 4 year olds category last year also had ASD and ADHD

 

Denisex

[helenl53]

It was either Asperger or Kanner who noted that the children were extraordinarily beautiful and I wholeheartedly agree.

 

The eyes seem to have it!

 

[lisann]

Yep Char is def picture perfect a right little looker.He has bright blonde hair and blue/green eyes.

 

Lisa x

[baddad]

To be honest, i've seen some pug ugly autistic kids, some lookers and most seem to just fall somewhere between the two. Sorry to pee on anybody's bonfire, but i do get a bit annoyed with threads that want to make our kids out to be something 'other'... they're just kids - and WE are the first to complain when the rest of the world trys to make such sweeping generalisations about them.

ALL kids are beautiful. ALL parents are blessed...

That 'faraway' thing some of our kids have can be charming/attractive if looked at in isolation, but i think it's dangerous to try and read anything into it... One short step away from 'changelings' and 'fairy-folk' (and they used to get burned at the stake with alarming regularity!), and an even shorter step away from 'lost souls' in need of rescue or cure...

Now - getting down off my high horse - Ben is NOT pug ugly. He is gorgeous. Don't think that's anything to do with autism - just how it is...

 

L&P

BD

[call me jaded]

I bookmarked this ages ago:

 

http://www.neoteny.org/a/coloring.html

 

Despite having a Moroccan dad, my ASD boy is fair haired with blue eyes. The eyes change colour. He has dad's ringlet curls.

 

It's my NT youngest (a curly Kate) that people just adore.

[Flora]

I'm going to jump on this band wagon and say....My boys are stunning ; but then I would say that wouldn't I?

 

Looks are genetic it's as simple as that. I would find it hard to believe that it had anything whatsover to do with ASD.

 

Maybe though, as parents we feel doubly protective of our kids which makes them look more innocent and adorable to us?

 

Just a thought!

 

Have to agree with baddad though; like every other human being, autistic kids come in all shapes and sizes.

 

Lauren

[Lucas]

Looks are not entirely genetic and I saw something in the Daily Mail today which totally stunned me and got me thinking about this thread.

 

Lord of The Rings director Peter Jackson, he's lost weight, a LOT of weight: eight stone in two years. He looks utterly different, I don't recognise him as the same person.

 

Michael Moore's books all feature him photo-shopped to look way thinner than he really is(it's rumoured that he keeps messing up the diets he's trying to lose weight with and his own claim to have lost 50 pounds isn't credible), but he's still recognisably Michael Moore, but Peter Jackson is an entirely new man. The photo shown was taken at the premiere of his latest film King Kong.

 

How I found this relevent here was that there are physical features among Autistics that seem to be common(it was Kanner who spoke of etherealness); Mobious lips(thought to be an unattractive feature), small jaws, large eyes and hyper-extention limbs. I myself only developed the ability to bend forwards and touch my knees with my forehead without bending them in the past few years. This should be far more difficult now I'm past my teens.

 

What can determine wether these features equal attractiveness can be a person's overall weight. Peter Jackson actually now looks more like the actors he directs instead of the unpresentable scruff behind the camera he was just two years ago. I've tried losing weight myself because the only feature I have that I can use is my eyes, I have a small jaw which certainly makes my cheek bones look higher but my overall weight means that my chin appears joined directly to my neck without space underneath. I'm about fifteen stone, I actually eat far less than the RDA of sugars, fat but maybe not salt and breakdance a lot.

 

Argh!