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      Depression, Mental Health and Crisis Support   06/04/2017

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nuttynemo

the system wins

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we are in mid statment with our 12 year old son

Jamie was on his way home from school on wednesday when he was picked buy a group of bullies and thrown in a six foot deep stagnent moat of water

we tried to contact the school who totally ignored us

so we contacted the local paper whod have run quiet a good story

the best bit of this story is thursday night one of the heads of the school came round to tell us our son cannot go back to school for his own safety and he will have to go to an

EOTAS unit which they cannot sort out any transport

so the school wins they dont have to support our sons needs

the bullys win because without him in school there is less chance of any punishment being served to the the guilty

 

to add insult to injury the paper told us water they chucked our son in had weils disease in it

so after three blood test we now have to wait two weeks to find out how ill our son may get

with all this going on we start another week fightint the LEA just to get our son the education

he deserves

 

where does it end will they drown him next time just because he diferent ?????

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Oh, this is outrageous :angry:

I'm just sorry that I can't offer you any concrete advice on this but I'm sure someone will post over the weekend with better knowledge as to what your next step should be :pray:

It's good that he's already been tested for Weil's, hopefully he'll be okay, fingers crossed for him,

I think the school's reaction is a bit OTT, what about transport to school being provided for your son to his current school ? surely this would be the obvious solution with regard to his safety en route ?

I feels like they're just washing their hands of him by using the 'get out' clause of ensuring his safety,

I hope you get some good advice,

wac

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I read that item in the paper and we were outraged about it.The school came out of it 'smelling of roses'.Get back onto your contact at the paper and tell them what is going on.I will also pm you.xx

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aro   

That's shocking, are the police involved???? Has your son been given some broad spectrum antibiotics?

 

What a terrible experience! Big hugs to you all, I hope this gets dealt with properly and the boys are punished.

 

 

A x

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we know the school came out looking ok the even told us the incident would aid the schools cause as they are having a problem with truancy and may get the school some help from the local police

we are at proposeed statment stage and dont want to do anything to upset the lea even though this inccident is the first time the school has addmitted there is any bullying in there school in over a year

Jamie has had all the blood test and we now have to wait for the results before they will give him any antibiotics

 

thnaks tto all for any support and ideas given

 

Andy

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Tez   

Hi Nutty nemo,

 

I can really emphasise with this one. A was severely bullied at school and the school, despite their best attempts - they created safe areas, gave him support etc. - were utterly powerless to stop it. We involved the police in one incident which occured in school during school time and where A sustained a broken wrist, but there were many incidents that happened in front of teachers because the bullies just didn't care, for instance, A was kicked continuously in the private parts in a drama lesson in front of a teacher. A did nothing to provoke the incident and was so badly hurt that the school had to phone me to fetch him home. At one point the bullies even kicked the door of the safe room off its hinges. Things got so bad that A's mental health suffered and the school finally admitted that they could no longer ensure his safety and asked me to keep him at home until they could make alternative arrangements with the LEA for his education.

 

Thankfully, this turned out to be the right thing for my son. He now has a statement and is educated at home with my LEA footing the bill and adminstering and managing his curriculum. A is a completely different child and on the way to recovery. It has been a long fight - taken about 18 months but we got there.

 

Whatever you do try to use the situation to your advantage. What happened to your son is terrible, but try to use it to get what you want for your son through the statementing process, if EOTAS is not what's in the best interests of your child fight for what is, be it full time 1 to 1 support, private school whatever, and try to use the school's admission that they can't keep your son safe to get it, using the EP and your son's doctors to back you.

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carrieq   

I am so sorry for you and your son. I can sympathise with you as this week my son has been harassed by parents in the playground and the school are doing very little to ensure his safety.

 

I hope someone can give you good advice, have you thought of contacting NAS support lines to see if they can help you with the next step.

 

I hope you boy is fine, I am thinking of you both.

 

Carrie

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phasmid   
we are in mid statment with our 12 year old son

Jamie was on his way home from school on wednesday when he was picked buy a group of bullies and thrown in a six foot deep stagnent moat of water

we tried to contact the school who totally ignored us

so we contacted the local paper whod have run quiet a good story

 

I am disgusted by this and want to know what the hell the school think they are playing at. We faced a similar situation with Phas jr at about the same age. We involved the police and the school. The police issued a caution and the school a ten day fixed term exclusion. But let's face it you contacted the school and asked them to deal with it. Their total lack of an appropriate response is scandalous. If these children are older than 10 have you contacted the police to report the assault to them? I would and indeed have done in the past and would do so again in the future as well. This is NOT bullying, it is Assault (Sorry - ALLEGED assault. Don't want a mod ticking me off now do I?)

 

 

the best bit of this story is thursday night one of the heads of the school came round to tell us our son cannot go back to school for his own safety and he will have to go to an

EOTAS unit which they cannot sort out any transport

 

Pardon me? On what grounds cannot he return? This is rubbish. The school should be taking action here but, not against your son, they should be tackling those responsible. Your son has the right to expect to an education free from persecution and this includes the journey to AND from school as well as during lessons. The school have obligations to him to ensure his safety and well being - and they're not fulfilling them!!! Is this head saying that your son has been excluded for being the victim of bullies then, as that is what it sounds like? What authority does this head have to award you a place at an EOTAS unit? Oh no! Don't sit back and take this. If the LEA wish him to go to this unit and it requires transport to get there they they MUST supply it - despite what this head says.

 

so the school wins they dont have to support our sons needs

the bullys win because without him in school there is less chance of any punishment being served to the the guilty

 

to add insult to injury the paper told us water they chucked our son in had weils disease in it

so after three blood test we now have to wait two weeks to find out how ill our son may get

with all this going on we start another week fightint the LEA just to get our son the education

he deserves

 

where does it end will they drown him next time just because he diferent ?????

 

They don't have to win! They DO have to support his needs - the LAW says so! Their reaction is nothing short of giving the bullies at the school free range to do what they want, to who they want, when they want!

 

The lunatics have just been given the keys to the asylum.

 

Have you thought of getting back to the paper and asking them to follow up the schools superb response to the situation - 'Been bullied? Get out of our school then' wouldn't that be a wonderful headline!!

 

 

I would be taking my son to school on Monday and if they refused to allow him in I would then demand the reason for refusing to allow him to access his right to an education be given to me in writing. Copies of this would be sent to the LEA, paper and anyone else I could think off! If these bullies are allowed to get away with this then the school should be thoroughly ashamed of itself and I hope to god they don't have to make excuses to the parents of some other child one day that despite their 'best efforts' they were unable to stop their child being bullied as well. After all as you say, next time they might not stop with a dunking...

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JsMum   

Really shocked and so so sad because its as if the only person been punished here is your son because he cant go to school and recieve an education, but I guess these bullies are finding another victim, bulling is a real problem and children are dying in their hundreds because they feel they have no way out and killing themselves, its so sad, the bullies seam to get the support and understanding, but the victims its oh you will have to stay at home or go to a unit, for your safety.

 

I really dont look forward to high school for J at all, it seems the schools are helpless over bullies, but its simole to exclude the victims.

 

I would get back intouch with the paper, and try and get it out what the school have done, what about a more national paper, or even TV.

 

Your situation is an issue of bulling, sen and the way schools work in the public media.

 

I was thinking ipsea as well, could you call someone their as well.

 

As well as NAS and as many other organisations that could back your situation as well.

 

JsMum

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oracle   

This is quite shocking >:D<<'>

 

It's a total disgrace that our children are being sacrificed for the sake of the so called normal children who are behaving like wild animals :crying:

 

If you were happy to go to the paper then I would send a copy of it to your MP also one to the All Party Group for Autism. I think that the people who are running the Every Disabled Child Matters Campaign http://www.edcm.org.uk/Page.asp would also like to run with this story.

 

This needs exposing nationally and we all need to be doing it.

 

I truly hope that your son is OK and that his tests prove to be negative.

 

Oracle

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HOW DARE they do this???

 

I am livid so god knows what you must be feeling hun.

 

Everyone here is spot on, the school CANNOT do this no matter what they are saying, sounds like they are banking on you not knowing yours or your sons rights (thank god for groups like this and IPSEA)

 

I agree, take him to school tomorrow, they have not given you anything official and he will still be on their register so you have every right!

 

I really hope you can resolve this and this so called school and the bullies do not get away with it!

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This is just so sad and shocking.

 

Hugs to you and your family >:D<<'> do what others have said get back on to the papers, useit to your advantage to get the right placement for your son, somewhere that he is mot going to get bullied/assulted.

 

Thinking of you, hope things go ok for monday >:D<<'>

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Sending you lots of these >:D<<'> >:D<<'> >:D<<'>

 

This is appalling, and the school equally disappointing.

 

Many schools have trouble with 'Bullying' when it gets to this scale, it doesnt matter what age the kids are, the Police are always involved.

 

Its important to draw the line, as if they continue to get away with it, these kids are only going to do something 10 times worse than this.

 

Legal advise I would be seeking for the school not doing enough.

 

:(>:D<<'>

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brooke   

im absolutly appalled that the school can do this. Basically they are allowing mindless bullies to be educated and kicking your disabled son out when he needs his education more than them. This is what really gets to me about england its gone to the dogs :angry:

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Kathrynh   

ITs dreadful what has happened to you and your son. I agree with what other people have said. I definitely think the police should be involved. The bullies should not be allowed to get away with this. Keep the newspaper on side and make the most of any publicity you can get. I hope things are sorted out in a way that you are happy with.

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Canopus   

This is absolutely appalling and I am disgusted with the attitude of the headteacher. This country really is a place where the guilty get away unpunished and the innocent pay the price.

 

Your son is technically being expelled and sent to an EOTAS unit whilst the bullies rub their hands with joy over the fact they got away scot free. The police should be contacted but I doubt they will do anything other than give the bullies a ticking off.

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oracle   
The police should be contacted but I doubt they will do anything other than give the bullies a ticking off.

 

If nothing else it will be on record that the police were involved an will have a record of the incident. Let's hope it never happens again but just incase it does the police will know.

 

Oracle

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Bagpuss   

Nuttynemo...what an horrific incident! Your son must of been scared witless. As for the school, well, it beggars belief doesn't it. I don't think I can add anything more constructive, as all the above advice sounds really good....but have to say if it were our ds I'd be seeking some form of advice from the local police. As Oracle says, at least it will be recorded, which is vital should this go further. Take care >:D<<'> >:D<<'>

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Have you writtento the chair of governora nad asked them about interpretation of the disability rigthts act an/ disability and bullying policies!

What a horrible experience!

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nellie   

Nutty Nemo, >:D<<'>

 

This is a shocking story!!

 

I can only say what others have said, speak to IPSEA and find out what your legal rights are. The Advisory Centre for Education (ACE) is another independent charity that might be able to offer you information and advice. http://www.ace-ed.org.uk/index.html

 

Take care

 

Nellie >:D<<'>

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Jericho   

:angry::angry::angry::angry::angry:

 

What a shocking story. I hope someone stands up to these cowards and bullies (the actual bullies and the cowardly school).

 

Fingers crossed for you that those test results come back negative. >:D<<'> >:D<<'> >:D<<'>

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Canopus   
the best bit of this story is thursday night one of the heads of the school came round to tell us our son cannot go back to school for his own safety and he will have to go to an EOTAS unit which they cannot sort out any transport

 

Is this in writing? A school CANNOT expel or suspend a kid unless it is put in writing on headed paper and signed by the headteacher.

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thank you all for your kind words

just reading your replys has given us some heart to keep fighting we were starting to feel very alone

i am glad and also sad there are other people who are fighting the same system as we are

 

 

the fight goes on

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curra   

This is absolutely shocking! :angry::angry::angry::angry: Something similar happened to my son and as others have said, although it's a horrible experience you can use it to get a statement and a better school for your boy. It's terribly unfair that the bullies win and disabled children have to pay the price. :wallbash: Contact the police, IPSEA, write a formal complaint to the school with copy to the governors and the LEA !

 

Hope your son is in good health >:D<<'> >:D<<'>

Curra

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I am disgusted at the school response to this. :angry::angry: .

Hope you lad is OK >:D<<'> . Its not right, he hadn't done anything wrong >:D<<'> >:D<<'> .

I agree with the others, def. involve the police & take this as far as you go. It is not right that you have both had to go through this >:D<<'> >:D<<'>

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madme   
>:D<<'> >:D<<'> >:D<<'> All the advice above is great. Im so appalled. Make complaints and involve the police but IMO forget the school and look elsewhere- find a better school who will protect him. I still regret the fact that we kept trying to get our sons school to understand rather than just walk away. It took ages for him to get over the bullying. Hope you get what you are looking for. >:D<<'> >:D<<'>

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nutynemo, I am so sad to hear of this, of course they are wrong and you are right to feel angry and upset, my son spent years out of education due to lack of understanding and provision, I do hope it gets sorted out quickly so that you and your son can return to something calmer and happier best wishes

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Any news yet? I keep thinking about and hoping you are ok ?

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