I can't do this no more!

[KarenT]

Hi TM

 

So sorry you're having a low patch at the moment, but it might help to think of it as just that - a low patch. Sometimes it just gets too much and I think we need to have these rotten times so that we can let out all the anguish and start again. You're doing brilliantly but I know there are times when it doesn't feel that way (I know that when I'm low I feel like the worst mum in the world, then I get my confidence back once I've regrouped and got my act back together).

 

Counselling sounds like a good idea but I appreciate how hard this can be to fit in when life's so busy meeting Tyler's needs. Somehow you need to fit in time for yourself as well though.

 

Keep your chin up, you know you can do this and will continue to do a great job for Tyler.

 

Bests

Karen

x

[Paula]

<'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'>

 

Been there also like every one else.

 

Hope things improove.Were human we do what we can and none of us are perfect but from reading these posts all the mums and dads are comeing pretty close.

[phasmid]

I hope thing settled down for you last night and seem better this morning.

[reuby2]

<'> <'> I'm so glad you posted, I really hope today is a better day for you both <'> <'>

 

 

I keep reading on this forum about people getting respite and buddies who act as a friend for their kids to give the parents a break. Could you ask at your docs if there is anything in your area. You really need some support in real terms.

 

Will check in on you later. <'>

[Guest flutter]

huge huge <'>

you are agreat mum, and as everyone else has said we have all been there atimes

find some spcae for you

take care

loadsa luvs

C xxx

[Viper]

TM, Sorry I missed this yesterday, fighting my own demons I'm afraid. <'>

 

Sorry to hear you are having a bad time. Don't give up on T things will get better and they will get worse again but we get used to taking the rough with a pinch of smooth, doesn't make it hurt any less though. And from what I can gather it was not T's fault, your sister has a lot to answer for, if T is not happy around her then keep her away.

 

Viper.

[carrieq]

Phew, so glad you are out the other side!! Hope the appointment goes well.

Carrie

[asereht]

TM, sorry I missed this yesterday ,I hope you are feeling better today.

 

You are a good mum it just gets to us all sometimes..Take care I have pm'd you with regard to support.

 

Theresa

[mum22boys]

Hi T-M,

 

Sorry I too was dealing with mine last night.

 

I hope things are looking a bit better this morning. I am glad you managed to have that cuddle last night. I wouldn't worry too much about losing your temper we have all done it, none of us are perfect. And remember there is a big possibility that your son doesn't actually remember any of it anyway.

 

Hope the appointment goes ok today

 

Take Care <'> <'> <'>

 

mum22boys

[CarerQuie]

Hi tM,

 

I hope that things improve soon.(((((((Hugs)))))).xx

[UltraMum]

Hope you are having a better day and that your appointment went OK

 

Have a few more <'> <'> <'>

[Carol]

I am happy for you that you have the appointment today- I hope it goes ok - you are a fab mum and as so many have said - we recognise where the thoughts are coming from.

 

thinking of you.

 

((((((((((big hugs))))))))

 

Carol

[DaisyProudfoot]

Hi TM

 

<'> <'> Pleased to hear you're coping a bit better today.

 

Those interactions just leave you so knackered don't they?

 

Move on and don't go back. We all know how much it hurts at the moment.

 

Daisy

[Kathryn]

Hi Tylers - mum,

 

Just sending more <'> <'> and hoping today went OK.

 

K xx

[Tylers-mum]

Hi all and once again, thank you all for your replies. Even though I've been here a long time and believe I know you all quiet well, it still stuns me how everyone chips together to support a 'friend' here and to see the amount of replies I've had and the love and support has really, well and truly brought a few tears to my eyes. Thank You. <'>

 

Still feeling a bit numb and can't seem to shake it. Today has been a rough and busy day. Got to the hospital this morning only to find out that the Child Psych appointment is NEXT Monday and not today! Grrr!! Could really have done talking to her today too!! So I decided to treat myself to some retail therapy which was hectic but got what I needed.

Came home and collected T from school and he has had a very bad day there today, through a huge tantrum in school at lunch time and basically been up and down all day (in his teacher's own words). Then it's supposedly Monday Club which his old LSA runs, she collects him and drops him off at the end. 3wks ago she had the flu and text me to say T couldn't go b/c she was ill, fair enough, then last week, she didn't turn up but yet my nephew goes to the session after T's (he's older) and the LSA was there, so why didn't she collect T?? So I bite my lips and wait to see if she arrives this week (today), once again, no show!! Thankfully T hasn't had a meltdown b/c we had visitors at the time so guess he either 'doesn't care whether he goes or not' or 'he just doesn't realise she didn't come'. I text her to say that he won't be going no more, I am NOT happy! (didn't say that I was not happy though).

He then had another meltdown about an hour ago and literally got on the floor with arms and feet kicking all b/c he couldn't do something and wanted help but I was busy doing something at that time so asked him to wait.

 

I swear his meltdowns are getting worse but can't pinpoint why?? (it's not just yesterday's episode over my sister, it started to get worse a while ago).

 

Here's hoping tomorrow is better.

[phasmid]

Hi, you sound a lot more positive today. Things still sound rough but hopefuly you've turned a bit of a corner. In the meantime you know where you can find an understanding ear, all you have to do is shout.

 

Take care.

[BusyLizzie100]

Bad luck with the date mix-up, but at least you were a week early and not a week late!

 

Can you talk to the psyche by phone? Probably not, but would it help to make notes of what's happening now to refer to when you do see him/her? Hard to take notes when the cr*p's hitting the fan, I know, but just a scribble of the time and what kicked things off to remind you later.

 

sorry to hear the meltdowns are so bad. Hang on in there.

 

Lizzie

[reuby2]

Glad youre feeling a liitle bit better. <'>

 

It sounds like you are sure getting let down a lot, you and T.

 

I really hope you can get to the bottom of what's bothering him

 

<'> <'> <'> <'>

[MumTee]

Glad to hear things are getting better for you. A few more of these <'> <'> <'> <'>

[UltraMum]

Oops - I'm usually a week late rather than a week early for appointments.

 

Glad the retail therapy helped.

 

Some <'> <'> <'> to see you through

[DaisyProudfoot]

TM, we had a period when Martin's meltdowns were getting totally out of control and I just ended up ringing his clinical psychologist crying down the phone to her and telling her how much we needed help to get him to cope because the meltdowns weren't just doing him harm they were doing the family harm too.

 

She was fantastic, she referred us to another psychologist who deals specifically in anxiety related problems and anger management techniques (my son's nine). Martin and I started going together to the sessions and it's really calmed things down here. Sometimes things almost seem normal!

 

It really sounds like Tyler needs that extra help - so speak to the psychologist and get that help, it's all out there you just have to ask and tell them how desperate things are.

 

Hope this helps,

Daisy

[Flora]

TM, I haven't read everyone's replies, so at risk of repeating what others have said.....

 

<'> <'> <'> <'> Been there so many times and know exactly how you are feeling. Please believe me when I say that this feeling won't last; and when you come out of the other end don't beat yourself up. We've all felt like this before, and I'm sure we all will again. Wish I could put the kettle on and give you a REAL shoulder to cry on and a REAL face to rant at, and one that understands exactly how you feel. I know it's online and only on a screen, but you really do have support here; and support of the kind that stands alongside you, not just observing your pain, but living it too in our own lives.

 

I have gone through weeks where I felt like I was living in some nightmare twilight zone, with no sleep and permanent assault on my peace of mind from some little guy who I love dearly, but at times the whole thing just terrifies me and I wish there was somewhere to hide. Then I look at him and realise that he needs me to be strong, which sometimes just makes me want to go to bed and not get up until it's all gone away.

 

Go easy on yourself, you're not super human. Take strenght from those who are offering it, and do your best out to blank out those who are demoralising you.

 

I could go on and on. I really want to help, but don't know how other than to type these words of solidarity and support.

 

Take care, and hope you feel better soon.

 

Love and best wishes from Lauren X

[Malika]

Hi Tyler-mum <'>

 

Hope things get better for you have many of those <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> keep posting when you got the chance, and yes talk to the psy it may help to understand better.

Today H apologised for his huge meltdown on Saturday because I went out with his sister it took me 2 hours to calm him down but the last thing I wanted to do was to let my daughter down again as I have done it too many time. But this afternoon the Sun shined because H came on its own to say sorry with a lovely cuddle. Bless him...

Take care you are an amazing Mum.

 

Malika.

[hev]

am glad you had some retail therapy tm,hope you feeling ok today,as you can tell by the many replies on here we are only a click of a mouse away if you feel low again,look after yourslf love hev xx

[Stephanie]

How are you today?

 

Apart from us, do you have anyone to support you?

 

We might have to get some kind of online group hug sorted out!

[nikrix]

Sorry come into this a bit late, sending you loads of ((((hugs)))) <'> <'> <'> <'>

 

Hope you are feeling more positive now. Sometimes these things need to come to a head to get things moving in the right direction.

 

I too have big problems with my NT son 12, there is just no talking to him. It really got me down the other week, I could not even talk to him without him kicking off. I didn't know which way to turn, things are a little better, but things are just not the same as they were. It takes time and there is always something new round the corner to cope with. You're a great mum, I can see how much you care from your posts, so don't give up.

 

xxxxxx

Edited February 9, 2006 by nikrix

[niki]

i feel really guilty i have only just come accross this post.

tm great big hugs to my love god we all know its hard, but you can do it.

 

 

 

 

Strength is like the wind, on your own you feel you can barely raise a breeze, but sharing with others can help raise a hurricane.

xxxxxx

[phasmid]

How are things? I really hope they are getting better for both your sake's.

[007paul007]

Hang on in there TM, I too have been through real bad dark days, where not only did I break down in tears and thought that was it, with me the thought of someone coming to take my son away because we could not cope really was frightening and then was when I broke down. A few months later I had alopecia due to the never dark bad time we had virtually managed to somehow find strength and got through. now if we hit a bad patch I just think back to that dark time and think we got through it and made it and this seems small compared to that time and it always gives me the strength to carry on. I hope you find your strength and get through this difficult time of yours , my thoughts are with you and like other posters who have replied we are all here for you.

[Tylers-mum]

Thanks all.

Sorry I haven't updated lately but been busy with hospital appointments left right and centre.

yesterday he had his usual Wednesday OT session and threw a huge paddy b/c he didn't want to do something that was required of him. His OT tried calming him down but on those 3 occasions, gave up and said 'Fine, when you are ready to do it, I'll come back to you but until then, you stay there!'. T didn't like this and each time she did it, he'd scream even more, lashed out and threw things that were near him. There are 3 other children, 3 other Mum's and all the OT's. To make matters worse, his class teacher sat in on the session yesterday too. Oops! He continued to escalate so i had to physically grab hold of him and drag him from the room kicking and screaming to calm him down. There was no way he was going to calm down by himself had I not removed him from the situation. He finally calmed down and did the re-entered the room but not before I went in first to ask the others not to laugh or clap when he went in. (he hates laughing and clapping). Next weeks session is the final one though, thank goodness and then on Thursday I go back alone for a sum up of what the OT's have found he has difficulty with etc etc.

Went shopping lastnight and he played up again, he was fine and well behaved and then it's as if someone took over him b/c he switched into someone totally different. Neither he nor Mum here were very happy but once home, he calmed down and went to bed.

 

All in all, apart from these, it's been ok. I have my old head back on me now so am able to cope and back to me normal self. It just gets to me every now and then when I cope for sooo long with everything going on and then T'll blow bigtime and I calapse right along with him, hense what this post was.

Thank you all once again for being there for me. I know that when (and it will unfortunately) I come crashing down again, I know that I have everyone here to turn to b/c you all really are a wonderful bunch of people and I am honoured to have found you all. <'> <'> <'> Thank You from the very bottom of my heart.

 

PS, forgot to add, I had some volunteers come out yesterday that my HV put me in touch with. They are 2 students who are coming out starting next Wednesday afternoon to play with T to give me a break. They'll come to the house for the next 3 weeks and when they and T are happy, they'll take him out places for a few hours so I can have a break.

Edited February 9, 2006 by Tylers-mum

[Kathryn]

Tylers Mum,

 

Glad to hear things are a bit better. <'>

 

The stress gets to us all and this forum is a wonderful safety net isn't it, I don't know where I would have been without it in the past couple of years.

 

Great news about the students - having that time to yourself will make all the difference - a cappucino and a bit of retail therapy maybe? - works for me.

 

K x

[madmooch]

Thinking of you TM <'>

 

Hope things continue to get better <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'>

 

 

Clare

[LKS]

Hi TM <'> <'> glad things have settled down a bit. Thinking of you

[annie]

<'> Tylers-mum <'>

 

I feel so relieved for you that things have settled down. When we feel so low, it's hard to imagine coming out the other side smiling, but we do get there.

 

We'll always be here for you TM <'> .

 

Having the students help sounds like a great idea. Enjoy your 'me' time.....you deserve it.

 

Annie

<'>

[mum22boys]

Hi T-M

 

Gald things are looking slightly better.

 

Hope the students are a big help, i'm sure they will be. You deserve some rest.

 

Just remember you are a good mum and no one would be able to look after your son as well as you do.

 

<'> <'> <'> <'>

 

mum22boys

[Corcaigh]

T-mum, I haven't been around for a while and I am reading this thread only now <'> . You're are showing a great strength and doing a job I wouldn't be able to do. I admire you. The two volunteering students seem really a good idea! Pity i am not in Wales, otherwise i would come around myself ... I would love to meet you and T .

Don't give up <'>

 

Martina

[Malika]

Hi Tyler-mum <'>

 

It's nice to see that your are feeling a bit better indeed you are very brave I hope all the words of encouragement and praise give you the strength you need to carry on.

 

Take care. <'> <'>

 

Malika.