my son has a dx

[darky]

my son has an offical diagnosis now of aspergers syndrome. after a year of assessments its been a long old haul where me and hubby have had to battle demons and dragons (at school grr) but now its official. so hopefully we can get him help and he will now feel understood.

[phasmid]

Never know whether to say congratulations or not at this point. Guess you knew it was coming and hoped it wasn't, was, wasn't and so on. At least now you may get that extra help.

[annie]

<'> <'> Oh Darky, that's great news (if you see what I mean ) <'> <'>

 

A long hard struggle, but you've got there

[baddad]

Take it easy on yourselves... It's a funny old time, even if you were expecting it...

 

L&P

BD <'>

[Kathryn]

Darky,

 

Mixed feelings, right now I expect. <'> <'> <'>

 

Let's hope this is a new start for you all.

 

K x

[helenl53]

You hung on in there girl against some formidable bullying!!!!

 

Well done.

 

"Doesn't have difficulties and anxieties" - you can ###### tell them now

 

This will be the same person that said J didn't get support because he didn't need any - but they gave mum support!

 

This level of struggle is not right it is a scandal

[Tez]

I'm glad you got your dx. Hope it helps you get the education sorted out.

 

Agree with everyone else, it's a funny time, full of mixed feelings. <'> <'>

[bid]

Well done, Darky <'>

 

Be gentle with yourselves, it's a bit of a rollercoaster time

 

Bid <'>

[illy]

Oh thats great, can i ask how old your son is

 

Great news though

 

Hugs illy

[darky]

my son is nine. you are all right mixed feelings etc but its all sinking in now! its been such a battle because my son is passive at school, totaly the opposite to what hes like at home. its only through the assessments that the level of anxiety my son suffers as a result has been uncovered. i just feel totaly bitter against the school as they battled against me and hubby every step of the way trying to prevent us getting anywhere. "the dragon" aka senco will have to eat her words now, but i doubt she will, shes too thick skinned!! i will fight long and hard to make sure she is sorry. just because i have a dx it dont mean im going to give up the fight!

[stressedmumto2]

Glad you now know what it is and that now you can push for him to get the support he needs in school.

 

Thinking of you <'>

[gromit]

Hi darky, sounds like this has been an almighty struggle for you and yours so good for you sticking in there through it all. I hope this can be the catalyst to start getting the support you need.

 

<'>

[Suze]

Struggling so hard for a DX can leave you really deflated when it comes, theres no victory or celebration, but now you know , and knowing is what it,s all about.Love to your family Suzex.

[rainbow queen]

great news darky,i am still awaiting dx for my son and hes passive in school too.

so well done for getting there, <'>

[Flora]

That's 'great' news. It'll take time for it to sink in, no matter how much you were expecting it. At least now you have a sign post.

 

Take care, and take some time to relax in to it.

 

Lauren xx

[JsMum]

Hi Darky

 

really pleased for you and you give people like me inspiration and drive to do what you have done,

 

fight and get it recognised that your son has difficulties,

 

I am fighting the school too, it has got very complex now as its reached complaints and arranged meetings even if its to discuss a sticker book!!!!

 

Ridiculos but since the complaints they dont want to risk any more complaints!!!!

 

So now everything has to be arranged and recorded and with a multitude of witnesses!!

 

It really is sad that it has come to this with my sons school and I really want to pull him out but he has friends there and it is a good school practically, and his maths teacher is a star, as he recognises Js problems.

 

 

I am on the long road to getting J assessed by a specialist in ASD but it takes the knowledge of ASD first which i explained already that I am researching it and learning about it but it is still early days,

 

I guess you will be feeling now at least you know what it is your litten has, and where best to help him.

 

ADHD diagnoses was a hard thing getting to grips with as i felt really bad for all the punishments I dished out for not understanding him, but now I do and that is good but not everyone else does it seems.

 

I really hope from now on your littlen can get some much needed services and support, well done for not backing down to the schools beliefes imagine where you would be now if you had of fighted for the AS to be recognised and why is it that AS and ASD goes unrecognised anyway?

 

The determination has defenitly rubbed off onto me as I am at the beginning where you have reached the finsih, I wish you all the best.

 

JsMum

[lil_me]

Well done for sticking with it and I hope it helps you access the services your son needs.

[DaisyProudfoot]

Well done Darky and I'm delighted your intuition won through in the end - your story sounds very like ours before our son had his dx, only it was (and still is) the head teacher who kept putting up the barriers not the SENCO (who is lovely).

 

Best wishes and take your time, the dx will leave you reeling for a long time to come. Presume you're setting off down the DLA route now - we did and now have it - keep up the good fight <'>

 

Daisy

[mum22boys]

I'm pleased you got the answer you expected darky.

 

I know what you mean about the behaviour at school being so different to home. we too experience that.....and the fights with the school oh i know where you are coming from.

 

I long for the answer so i can shove it in front of the disbelieving head!!!! Oh well only about a year to M's assessment!

 

Glad yours has been asessed though, it must be a big weight off your shoulders.

 

Oh and carry on fighting the school.

 

mum22boys

[redberry]

I have tears reading your post.

Very similar story to ours.

Our son has finally got dx, just last week and I feel a huge mix of emotions.

We changed his school as the senco in last one totally ignored the fact that my boy was suffering. He was quiet, well behaved and lived on his nerves from the first school bell til the last. She absolutely refused to acknowledge this and made his life there hell.

She made me feel inadequate, paranoid and stupid.

She made totally incorrect observations and filled in any questionaires using another child, cos it certainly wasnt ours that she was writing about.

Any way we ignored her, moved schools and finally after nearly two years S got a dx of AS, dyspraxia and tourettes.

I think your post will encourage alot of people.

Thank you for sharing your story.

It has made me feel less alone

 

redberry

[UltraMum]

Congratulations

 

<'> <'> <'>

[CarerQuie]

Glad that you got some answers.Hope you can now obtain appropriate support for your child.xx

[Brook]

Darky <'> <'>

 

I think the others have said it all.

 

Take it easy.

 

Brook <'> <'>

[oracle]

Darky <'> <'>

 

At least you can be sure now and for me that did make a difference.

 

Carole

[smallworld]

Darky,

we are just setting out on getting a dx for our son, aged 10 with a similar story of being passive at school, although this veneer is starting to crack !

Your story gives me hope that we are right in our feelings about 'the boy' despite school having no concerns,

good on yer !

 

wac

[KarenT]

Well done! Onwards and upwards.

 

Karen

x

[kirstie]

<'> well done Darky! I'm glad ypu didn't cave in and youe wee man can get the help and support he deserves.

I hope you're feeling ok. <'> <'> <'>

[ray]

Well done Darky. I think, as much as anything, it gives a sort of direction to your efforts. Dont know if you know what I mean? Anyway, the others have said it, be prepared for a few mixed emotions and ups and downs, its a bit of strange time, arguably a transitional time when you start to shift your perceptions of life, the universe, and everything.

[Sallya]

<'>

will you keep him in the same school....? The staff at my son's old school refused to accept his DX of asd, and they tried to persuade me that he had dypraxia, moved him to another school for various reasons, but new school accepted his DX without question.

Well done for not letting them bully you. How are you feeling today?

Take care <'>

s

xxx

[JenRose]

Glad that you finally got your dx Darky.

Your situation sounds exactly like ours, my son is 9, we are convinced he is AS and school have blocked any support for him especially his form teacher who is the SENCO.

We are going through assessments to see if he is ASD.

Stories like yours gives me hope.

Jen

[darky]

i am feeling ok thankyou! its still not quite sank in yet, but its nice to be able to think in terms of he HAS aspergers instead of suspected asd!! i feel confident in the dx, he had a full mot where several specialists assessed him and together thats what they concluded.

im sure the senco will hold sour grapes, and i can hear her now "oh well you got what you wanted" like this is what we dream of for our child.

he wont be staying at this school. i kept him there only to complete the diagnosis, now we have that we are looking to move him asap. i have an appointment with him to go see the new school on 24th feb. we may hold off until easter, this way he has a full term before the summer hols and moving into yr 5.

 

my daughter went to this school and i pulled her out. what they did to her socialy and emotionaly was criminal, anyone with half a brain could notice that if they saw her now after just a few months at her new school. my son will be going to the middle school next door to the primary my daughter attends. it cant be any worse, and if they do half the work the primary school has done for my daughter he stands a great chance bless him.

 

but i do not intend to let them get away with how they have let both my children down!! shame is, they are great with high achievers, my eldest son goes to that school and we are hoping soon we will hear if hes been accepted intothe grammar school, so they are not ALL bad. but they cannot be allowed to get away with treating sen kids the way they do.

[palgem]

hello

well done on dx but sorry to chuck a spanner in the works ?dont count on it changing much you will still have to continue your battle becuase you have now got to change or try to the schools attitude on the subject can be like banging head on brick wall . stu has dx and statement did not change much at all to start with but keep banging you may get there eventually or somewhere close at least ? we were lucky he had a totall change of teachers who understood his problems and who had worked within a special school enviroment so had the training which is more vital if the lea want inclusion

you have won a big battle but still probably have more to go sorry for being negative but can only speak as u find no rose coloured glasses here just honest opinion?

bye for now palgem

[asereht]

It is good to get a dx, and it helps a lot, but it is a funny old time ( as Baddad said) so take it easy until you get used to the idea.

 

It can be a bit of a shock,even if you were expecting it.

 

Well done though! <'> <'>

[Malika]

Hi, darky, <'> <'> <'>

 

It is a releif to have the confirmation of what you have been suspecting, but it does not mean that it won't hit you in a way so take it easy one step at the time, and I agree with Palgem that the battle will go on when I had the DX for H I thought that everything would fall into place, but...far from it and even more frustrating.

 

Take care. <'>

 

Malika.